The Fates' Betrayal

Knowing and unknowing

“How did you do that?” the man asked, scared for the first time since he had woken up.

“I know you’re not standing next to me. Why was I able to feel that? How is it possible to feel a touch without me or anyone else doing it?”

Confusion crossed his mind and reached hers, helping Aisa understand more of this new bond they were both sharing.

“I told you”, she replied with fresh confidence spread across her mind, “we’re sharing your body. I’m in it, somehow.” Her hand rose to graze the rugged contours of the man’s face she knew nothing about, sending again a prickly sensation with the fingers for both of them to feel.

He flinched at her touch and attempted to halt her hand’s advance because it made him uncomfortable, but his efforts were futile. He had no physical control over his own body. It was his, and yet, someone else was in charge of its movements.

His existence had been reduced to a confined space within his mind, succumbed to be a voice that could only utter his concerns out loud through this intruder that had taken over his body and his speech.

A new urge to scream filled his lungs, trying to force its way out to be heard by this darkness that surrounded him, hoping the sharp shriek would pierce it and bring light to this situation, but it was quickly overtaken by a feeling of incompetence. He wasn’t in command anymore. Not even his mouth could move if she didn’t allow it. The intensity of the shout withered inside him, not being allowed to escape its confinement. It was shut and sealed by her internal sigh, sending them both an inner knowledge that they were stuck with each other but that she profoundly empathised with his newfound pain.

“So, who are you?” the same question echoed within their shared consciousness, “I mean, what’s your name?” Aisa added compassionately as she tried to divert his thoughts from the messy situation they both seemed to have woken up to.

“I’m...Jack.” He replied hastily, reluctant to divulge more to the voice entrenched in his mind. Although something was telling him that she would find out all there was to know about him. His secrets will no longer remain his alone. Still, he wasn’t ready to unload their heavy burden on someone he didn’t know.

“You’re not losing your mind, Jack.”

“How did you ...” he began.

“Know? What you were thinking about?!” Aisa let out a gentle chuckle. “I can hear you - what you’re thinking, without you having to speak it. Yeah, I heard that little thought creeping inside the rational part of your mind, the one that’s trying to make sense of this situation by finding a solution to what you’re experiencing. But, unfortunately, this is not it. You’re not succumbing to madness from all the bad things that have happened to you.”

Jack gasped suddenly.

“Yeah, I heard some of those too,” Aisa continued, “but I also realised that you’re not ready to share, so I tried to ignore as much as I could. I guarantee you I’m not one of those voices people hear when they’re going crazy. This is real and is happening to both of us.”

Jack gasped again, unable to control his emotions. Anger simmered within him, threatening to erupt. He wanted to kick something, to punch this cold and dark room, to break the stupid tight chain holding him prisoner and run as far away from here as possible.

He wanted to scream, to weep, to laugh, all at the same time, but none of his tumultuous emotions was coming out to the surface. His body mirrored none of his movements that were so desperately trying to escape. He felt more like a captive now, imprisoned within his own flesh, than when he was confined within these walls.

“I feel your pain, Jack. I truly do. And I know you think this is worse than being restrained like a madman within a mental asylum”, Aisa interjected, interrupting his inner fight, causing Jack to gasp once more, taken aback by her insight. Yet, she pushed past the pain they were both sharing, seeking to explain.

“I saw the image you projected . . . A man in a restraining jacket?! I still don’t know how this is possible, but we can hear and see each other’s thoughts. And yes, you should be able to see mine as well.” she added in a whisper, ashamed by the fact that, no matter how much she scorched her mind, she couldn’t find any memories or images from her past to show him.

“You just haven’t really been listening or observing, which is understandable, given the circumstances,” Aisa added with a shy smile visible solely on his face.

Only Jack understood what she meant by that the moment she started looking through her mind for any fraction of information that could answer one of her most pressing questions - who was she?

Inexplicably, Jack could see her searching through the empty drawers of her mind, pulling them open, one by one, only to be welcomed by silence and desolation, as the fear of the unknown was wrapping its claws tighter into her being and embracing her more fiercely.

It was maddening not knowing who you are, unsure of your own name, unaware of the contours of your own body, or the colour of your eyes, the memories of your past, whom you belong to, what deeds, good or bad, you have committed.

Jack knew all too well who he was. He could remember his past, still see his family’s faces and recall all the things that had brought him here. He knew what he looked like if he saw himself in the mirror, though he probably wouldn’t recognise his reflection at the moment, given the brutal things that had been done to him before he ended up locked in here.

Still, he knew who he was before being woken up.

He knew exactly what he was.

Remembering this newfound ability to glimpse at each other’s memories, he quickly steered his thoughts towards the present situation, secretly hoping that Aisa didn’t pay enough attention to his rumination.

“So, umm...” he began, attempting to formulate a question, just in case she had indeed paid attention to his flooding memories. “What’s a higher voice?”

“I’m not sure”, Aisa confessed, stretching their legs in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. In truth, she didn’t know what it was or who it was. She just knew it was something she could trust wholeheartedly.

“I don’t know how to explain it. Honestly, no words come to mind to describe it. It’s just a part of me, something I’m absolutely sure it has been with me all the time. Like... hmm...a piece of me that guides me. Or it has, up until now. ”

“Like the subconscious?” Jack proposed. “What reasons with us when we can’t think straight?”

“No, I don’t believe it’s that. Plus, I’m sure that’s not the correct way to define it. Still, it’s more than just a dormant influence, it doesn’t dominate me unaware, more like guides me...like divine aid from the above...”

“Yeah, you’ve really lost it, girl!”