In Blood

IX. Say it With Your Chest

We sat in a comfortable silence despite the bleak weather; we were out here on the balcony that came off the first floor and resting above the ground where the dining hall was right beneath us, over looking the untamed garden.

                We had come to an unspoken arrangement since the first day I had come out here; we now have breakfast out on this balcony, everyday. Everyday he'd bring out human food and it always something new, never the same twice and since the very first day we'd sit at this table. We sat at the same spot like usual, I always took the right since the morning sun would shine down on me and he took the left.

                Today was no exception, we were out on the balcony business as usual except it looked like it was going to rain any minute and yet here we were. I guess we would have breakfast here in all weathers. It really wouldn't make much of a difference since the common cold is now a thing of the past.

                Adam sat across me with a look of constipation. As hard as he tried to smooth his features but the look would promptly return. He was completely distracted, his mind elsewhere

                "What's wrong?" I ask breaking the silence that had settled over us, this drew him out of his head, his gaze now focused and settling on me.

                His eyes light up, glowing from within, arching an eye brow his lips slowly curve into a smile. His gaze left me returning to the cup in front of him. "How are you feeling?" He asked slowly lowering the teacup from his lips. He watched me carefully surveying me. He was watching me, looking for something a give, a tall, something beyond the surface.  

                I met his gaze head on, "I'd much rather be inside enjoying my breakfast where the threat of rain isn't upon us." I say slicing my waffles.

                Today's breakfast was waffles topped with freshly whipped cream and strawberries. I've gotten better at this and was beginning to enjoy the taste of normal food again. The bloodlust was still there but it had become easier to control, easier to ignore and not just give into the thirst like I wanted to.

                I didn't know what his plan was but maybe it was actually working, maybe his plan isn't actual bullshit.

                He hadn't responded turning his attention back to his tea, I highly doubted it was actually tea. It probably was a special concoction the staff had thrown together specifically for him and him alone.

                The only drinks available to me were either orange juice or coffee. A complete human breakfast first, that was the arrangement.

                I propped the last of my whipped cream, covered strawberry into my mouth and placed my fork down. That actually was good. Maybe with time I'll come to actually enjoying these meals and begin to look forward to it. Or maybe I'll eat because I want to and not because I have to.

                I pushed my plate to the side as I stood reaching out to grab the pitcher of freshly squeezed orange juice pouring myself a cup. I froze mid pour slowly putting the jug down carefully back on the table top, careful not to drop it.

                I felt it slamming into me, knocking my breath away. I stopped mid pour; slowly I forced myself to move, placing the jug down on the table top so I didn't accidently drop it. It was intrusive and invasive and completely unwanted.

                It felt familiar like that of the time when I was with Theo but it wasn't the same, it was different and intrusive. It wasn't calling out to me instead it was searching for something, prying for information.

                My guards shot up, I wanted it gone and it was gone. It recoiled away just as fast as it had come slamming into me. I stood up straight, my eyes scanning the surrounding area, searching for where it had come from. I could see beyond the boundaries, beyond what was a part of the estate and there was nothing here but Adam and myself.

                Adam.

                My focus was on him now, could it possibly be him? My eyes narrowed watching him, he wasn't meeting my gaze, and slowly I sat down never taking my eyes off of him.

                It had to be him.

                He finally met my gaze, head on. The colours in his eyes were swirling full of emotions. He looked exasperated. I could see it clearly, he was having difficulty trying to mask his emotions, and all of a sudden he looked like he had just aged in a matter of seconds. Was he sweating? Could vampires sweat? Is he a vampire?

                 Just as I was about to speak, the door that lead onto the balcony opened, Adam's eyes shifted from me to the person behind me, who had brought us the grand finale to our breakfast. He came around and before me he placed a juice box before me and the other at the centre of the table.

                I pierced the carton with the straw that was provided and drank heartily, my mind blank and cleared of any thoughts that I had, my sole focus being the juice carton before me.

                Adam's attention was back on me, watching me as I drank but I couldn't give a rat's ass as I was far too absorbed with what was in my hands. I slowed down, enjoying my drink, being mindful. If I inhaled it like I wanted to it would do me no good only leaving me with an unsatisfied bloodlust.

                I set the empty carton down now satisfied and full. The carton hit just the right stop something normal food can no longer do for me. A ghost of a smile playing at my lips as I realise maybe it's not so bad, maybe I could actually do this. Live this life that was forced upon me.

                The shuffling of clothes brought me out of my head, my attention now on Adam who got up, my eyes drawn to him as he stood, his movement strategic, even though there was a small smile playing on his lips as he made his way over, there was control behind what he did.

                "What do you want?" I asked as he grew closer.

                His gaze was heavy, never leaving my face. The greens and browns in his eyes swirling revealing what his face refused to. He stood before me adjusting my seat so that my knees were now pointing towards him, as he leaned against the table.

                He watched me for a minute before he made his move again, taking my hand in his, he spoke slowly. "I want to try something."

                Curiosity flooded through me at those words, I watched him my undivided attention on him. He had away with demanding my attention without doing much. His presence didn't demand attention nor did he take up the room, like Theo but he just was, he could naturally hold the attention of the room if he wanted to without much effort.

                I sat frozen, rooted to the spot as a familiar sensation was trying to engulf me. I could feel it slowly edging closer and closer trying to consume me. It wasn't unwelcoming nor was it very familiar but I had felt it before. I could pin point exactly where it came from.

                It was Adam.

                I sat up straighter, I had felt his presence before, before this morning some other time, I t was like I had just woken some sleepy film removed, my head no longer fuzzy. It continued to slowly edge closer, testing the waters until was right beside me; it was as if I could reach out and touch it but I didn't.

                I stayed where I was, it was brushing against me before it slammed into me, and I inhaled sharply. It wasn't hostile now, but it was intrusive still, searching for something, trying to rifle through looking for answers. It wasn't threatening but I didn't appreciate the prodding, my guards shot up, I didn't know what Adam was trying here to achieve here but I didn't appreciate it.

                I snatched my hands out of Adams hands. He was now breathing hard; trying to catch his breath it was like he just had ran a marathon. His eyes now slowly focusing as he tried to get his breathing back to normal.

                The chair screeched as it scraped across the ground behind me as I stood. He visibly flinched when he met my glare. He looked like he got caught doing something he wasn't meant to.

                "I don't know what you're doing; prodding around, but if you got something to ask, say it with your chest." I said, irritated with this game. I took the unopened carton and left the balcony.