Lady Jane: A Time For Us

A Year Ago Today

Jane's eyes were lifted up toward the attic's roof, but she didn't see what she was looking at at all. Instead, she saw sea gulls soaring high above the Thames. "The soul takes flight to the world that is eternal...invisible. But there arriving, it is sure of bliss, and forever dwells in Paradise." An image came unbidden to Jane; it was of Guilford, her Guilford, kneeling before a block, his head aligned over the far edge of the block, his arms straight out at his sides. Beside the block, a man wearing a black mask raised an axe. Jane struggled desperately to force the image from her mind. Big tears filled her eyes and began to stream down her face as Guilford held her tightly to himself and she rested her head against his chest and listened to the reassuring beat of his heart.

An air of funereal gloom permeated the attic for the rest of that day. Guilford and Jane went about their usual business quietly, saying only necessary words to one another. Their hearts were heavy with sorrow for the loss of their friend and mentor.

Suzanne, now aware that Jane was with child, increased the amount of food she took to the attic each day. Her eyes had a haunted look, and Jane could tell that she spent much time crying for her fallen friend.

"It distresses me greatly to see you in such sorrow," Jane told her one day. "I fear for the welfare of your child."

"As do I for yours," Suzanne replied. "How I wish there was a physician amongst my friends."

"Even if there were, it would be a great risk to bring him here," Jane replied. "It troubles me already that we are so beholden to you."

"As if says in the Bible, 'For somuch as ye have done to the least of these, so have ye done unto me'," Suzanne replied.

"Your reward in the life to come will surely be great," Jane told her.

"I already have a great reward in this life. It is the comfort of knowing that I have helped to save two innocent souls from martyrdom."

October and November came and went. Jane's midsection grew larger and larger, and her child's movements grew stronger and stronger. By December she was forced to eat small amounts of food at a time, and she began to have frequent backaches. Much of her time was spent lying on her side with Guilford rubbing her back, which helped tremendously but didn't completely stop the discomfort.

"Why, tomorrow is Christmas Day," Jane said to Guilford one evening while marking off the date on the calendar.

"So it is, although to us it won't seem so," Guilford replied.

Although in the comfort of Guilford's arms, Jane missed her sisters and even her mother bitterly the following day, and although he didn't complain, she could tell that Guilford missed his family as well.

"This is mother's first Christmas without father or me," Guilford remarked.

"It is my mother's first Christmas without my father as well," Jane said. She didn't even mention herself as she felt that her mother had never loved her very much. "We shall write letters to them to tell them how much we love and miss them."

"There is no way of delivering letters from here," Guilford pointed out.

"Still they shall lift up our spirits, and if God is willing that we should ever leave this place, we may deliver them then."

So Guilford wrote a loving letter to his mother, and Jane to her sister Katherine. They hoped that the day would come that the letters would find their way to their intended recipents.

In January, Pierre and Suzanne's son, Gaston, was born. Jane listened from the attic to the young woman's cries and prayed that things would go well for her and her baby. Eventually she heard a lusty cry from the newborn and thanked God that it was alive. A few hours later, Pierre proudly brought his new son into the attic to meet Guilford and Jane. Jane marveled at the infant's tiny, yet perfect, features.

"It makes me thrill at the prospect of holding my own newborn soon," she said.

Guilford smiled, remembering Jane's trepidation when she had first realized that she was pregnant. He was so glad that she felt better about it now.

Several weeks after Gaston's birth, Jane suffered the most severe backache she had ever had in her life. It was unusual in that rather than being constantly present, it seemed to come and go at regular intervals, and soon the intermitten pain involved her entire lower abdomen. As the hours passed, the pains became more intense and closer together.

"Guilford, I believe our child will be here soon."

"Are you sure?"

"I am certain of it." Guilford heard the panic in his wife's voice. "What do I do?"

Guilford arranged the pillows and quilts in the attic to provide as comfortable a bed for her as possible and helped her to lie down. He found a piece of rope for her to bite down on, so as not to injure her teeth when the pains became unbearable. He sat beside her and rubbed her back and spoke soothingly to her.

"It's going to be all right, my love. The pain will be over soon, and our babe will be in your arms. I love you so much, dear Jane." Jane was in too much pain to respond, but his words brought great comfort to her.

At last Guilford saw her grimace and strain, and he knew that the moment was at hand. He moved her legs so that there would be room for the baby to come out and helped her to sit up to allow gravity to help her push.

"The baby's head is out now, Jane. Just a little bit more and it will all be over." Jane gathered up all her strength for one more mighty push and felt the baby's body slide from her own. Guilford caught the newborn, used a knife to cut the cord, and began to clean the baby, speaking to it gently the whole time. The infant cried a little, but soon quieted.

Jane saw Guilford glance between the baby's legs, and a big grin lit up his entire face. Overwhelmed with relief, Jane let out the breath she hadn't even known she was holding.

"Is he...all right?" At last she was able to speak.

"She is absolutely perfect! I'll let you hold her just as soon as I finish cleaning her up."

Jane was stunned. "You mean..."

"Yes, Jane. We have a beautiful new daughter." Guilford had finished cleaning the baby, and he wrapped her in a blanket and laid her tenderly into Jane's arms.

"Are you not disappointed that your firstborn isn't a son?"

"No, not at all." Guildford's voice was soft, and there was great love in his eyes. "Oh, Jane, were you afraid that I would be?"

Jane's eyes filled with tears as Guilford embraced her and kissed the top of her head. Jane looked into her daughter's smoky dark blue eyes and thought that she had never before loved Guilford as much she did just then.

Guilford began to clean Jane just as tenderly as he had cleaned the baby. "I need to wash away as much of the blood as I can. I don't want you to become ill, Jane." He didn't tell her of all the stories he had heard of women who had survived the birth itself only to sicken and die very shortly afterwards.

The cool water and Guilford's gentle touch were soothing to Jane's bruised and torn flesh. She closed her eyes and simply enjoyed the sensation when a sudden thought jarred her.

"Do you realize what day it is today, Guilford?"

"Why, it's Sunday, I believe." Guilford looked at her questioningly.

"Today is February 12, 1555. It was exactly a year ago today that we both were to have lost our heads, and indeed would have if not for the benevolence of our friends."

Guilford's face paled.

"I would like to name our daughter Grace, if that's all right with you," Jane said softly.

"Yes, I think that's the perfect name for her," Guilford agreed, his voice quivering. He put his arm around Jane and held her close, and in the attic that was both prison and refuge to them, Guilford's and Jane's hearts were filled with thanksgiving and love.