When The Rain Falls

CHAPTER 10

Amelia sighed as she pressed the key into the knob, turning the lock and entering the house. Callen was still angry when she left, and their argument only soured what was already a terrible date. Kenny was kind at first, but soon his actions made her too angry to be near him. The argument with Callen beforehand didn't help things either.

Anger. Nothing but anger, and now she was just worn out.

When she walked in, she braced herself for the darkness of the house, but was pleasantly surprised to see the living room illuminated by a single lamp. Figuring he had a change of heart and left a light on for her, she walked towards the source, and stopped in her tracks, seeing Callen sitting in the dimly lit area.

He had watched her as she came through the hall, his drink glass empty, and half a decanter of scotch next to him on a small standing table. He was sitting low in his chair, legs spread, heels pressing into the floor. His shirt was untucked and his jeans were sans the belt. His hair fell into his eyes while stubble caressed his face. With his eyes like ice, it gave him a morose, almost sinister look. The ice in his glass clinked together as he set it on the table, only moving his arm. It was the most unkempt version of him she had ever seen.

His eyes left her face. They traveled down her body, blatantly running along her curves. His lip lifted in his typical sneer, the same disgusted look he blessed her with when he originally met her. She knew what that meant. It meant he hated what he saw, more than he did before she left.

The skirt she wore hugged her hips and flared slightly. He watched each swish of fabric caress her thighs in whispers, but he noticed a tear in the side. While her top only enhanced her breasts and shoulders, he saw one side was overstretched, as if yanked in the heat of passion. While she had left with her hair styled and lifted, she came home with it undone, trailing over her shoulders and neck, and down her back, askew.

Her soft amber colored eyes with peppermint flecks looked at him, daring him to start with her, fight with her, right now.

If the decanter of scotch was still full, he would have simply walked away and let his demons fester.

But the decanter wasn't full tonight.

And he wasn't into walking away right at that moment.

Because he had done too f*****g much of that lately and he was tired of not giving a damn.

"How was it?" He asked her, his voice haggard, hoarse. He reached for his decanter and tipped some into his glass, picking it up and sipping it. With her disheveled look, he knew she saw what he was thinking.

Amelia watched him as he did so, his eyes only leaving her briefly to pour his drink. "Why do you care?" She asked.

He smirked at her, and motioned towards her clothing. "Don't really need an answer, I assume. Look at you."

Amelia looked down at her state of dress, and grabbed the torn side of her skirt. "You mean this? Oh yeah, Kenny just went out and had a train run on me Callen, hey, no biggie."

His nostrils flared. "Don't you even dare joke like that to me. I'd kill anyone who hurt you like that."

She rolled her eyes at his outburst. "Weren't you telling me earlier that I could just f**k off? That you didn't give a flying s**t about me?"

Callen softened his eyes, his jaw clenching. "If I could take back every word I said and make you unhear them, Amelia, I would."

"So take it back." Amelia folded her arms, flipping her hair behind her shoulder.

Callen blinked up at her, confused. "I'm sorry? I take it back?"

"Callen, never mind. I just... tonight was bad. Okay? And all I wanna do is talk to you about it but you hate me." She threw her purse on the sofa next to where he sat, and flopped down, not caring if she seemed unladylike.

"I don't hate you Amelia." Callen sipped his drink again. "I don't think I could ever hate you. And I am so bloody sorry for what happened before you left."

"I just wish what you said wasn't true." She said, melancholy in her voice. "That I was more than just the kids' baby sitter."

Callen looked at her, and leaned his head on the back of his chair. "You are. And that scares me. Scares the f**k out of me."

Amelia looked at him, her eyes wide with a small bruise hinting on the side of her cheek. She had hoped the dim light covered whatever marks Kenny had left on her enough that he couldn't see them. "Why does caring about me scare you so much?"

He swallowed a large gulp of his drink and stared at the rim of the glass. "I'm not feeling up to that discussion yet. We'll revisit. How was your date?"

"God awful." She said. When he looked her way, she continued. "I hated it. I was miserable the entire time because of our argument. Kenny just... ugh. I'm not ready for this type of world.

Ice clinked and he sipped his glass. "What type of world?"

"Dating, Callen. Dating." Amelia snapped at him. "After what he did tonight, I feel like a f*****g idiot."

Callen narrowed his eyes and looked at her. "Amelia, what did he do?"

"He... Got really handsy, Callen. He tore at me, he wouldn't let me alone." Amelia shuddered, her eyes blurring. "I left as soon as I could. Was called a few nice things on my way out. A blessed angel grabbed me a cab and took off."

Callen sat up in his chair. "Why didn't you call me Amelia?!" He barked at her, his chest moving quickly, his fist clenched over his glass.

Amelia glared at him. "Like you're in any condition to drive right now Callen? And didn't you and I kind of have a f*****g fight before I left?"

"That doesn't matter Amelia!" He nearly shouted. "The man put his hands on you, and you didn't think to call the only other cop you knew?"

"Not when the only other cop I knew was pissed at me for having a life!" Her voice rose, and then broke. "Or trying to."

"I'm sorry Amelia," he said quietly. "I'm not used to this. To you. To worrying about you."

Amelia let out a breath and stood up. "Callen, it doesn't matter. Okay? I just want to shower and go to bed. I have to look for a new place tomorrow."

He shook his head. "No. Please. Don't go. Stay." He set his glass down and stood, walking closer to her. He put his large hands on her shoulders and tilted his chin to face her. "The girls will miss you too much."

"Just the girls, Callen?" She asked him. "Not you?"

He brought his eyes to hers, and she almost gasped at the shade of grey they had become. He quickly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into the tightest embrace he could muster without hurting her. Her arms slowly reached around his waist and she relaxed, her body forming against his comfortably.

"Me too." He whispered against her ear. "I'll miss you. You're the best thing that has happened to me. To my girls. Please. Don't leave us, Amelia."

She stood quiet but nodded against his shoulder. His head moved and he softly kissed the side of her neck, underneath her earlobe. She felt it, but pretended not to. His hand had crept to her hair, and pressed against the back of her head. His lips found the same spot on her neck, over and over, while his other hand crept down to her waist.

"Are you feeling alright Amelia?" Callen asked quietly. "I can make some tea or some god awful coffee concoction that's more sugar than caffeine."

Her laugh was magic in his ears. She pressed her forehead onto his shoulder. "No Callen. I'm actually okay now, better now that we're fine."

"Amelia," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean a f*****g thing I said. I want you to stay. I want you here."

"I won't go anywhere, Callen." She whispered back. Her hands fell down his back, and pulled his shirt loose to feel against the bare skin and muscles underneath. "You smell like a bad one-night stand."

"Ha, like a one-night stand would drink what I am." He pressed his nose into her hair. Honey and Jasmine. "That more likely involves watered down Iron Brue with Buckfast shooters."

"Why did you pick a fight with me today Callen?" She asked him, her voice muffled in his chest. "I thought you liked Kenny."

He put his head on top of hers and blew a harsh breath out of his lips. "I do. I mean I did. Until tonight."

"We had the argument before I left." Amelia nuzzled closer to him and relaxed her arms around his waist, grasping her wrist. "Why were you so mad at me?"

"I wasn't angry at you. I was angry at myself." He fought with himself to say the words. "I was angry. I was too late."

Amelia pulled away, looking up at him. "Okay. You've confused me. What?"

Biting the proverbial bullet, Callen groaned, looking above her head and concentrating on the wall behind her. "So bloody preschool. Amelia, I wanted to ask you to Arya's engagement party next week. Kenny asked you first, and you seemed to have more excitement about it than I could fathom obtaining from you, and I let it get the best of me."

"You wanted to ask me out? Like, on a date?" Amelia repeated back to him.

"No. Arya's engagement party. To Jason. I was hoping. Is all."

She frowned at him. "But, ah... aren't you two still married?"

"Another reason I was an ass." Callen looked away. "Signed the papers this afternoon. She gets nothing. Not even the kids. Just some lawyer fees. So, in the end, I guess I won."

He felt the tight squeeze of her arms around his waist. "I'm sorry Callen."

"Don't be. Long time coming." He leaned down and kissed her neck again. He was pleasantly surprised when she did the same to him. He pressed his mouth on her neck, gently nipping and sucking the skin while her hands ran through his hair.

Callen moaned softly, letting her move at her pace. When her teeth nipped his chin, he gazed downwards and her lips captured his, then released them. She stared up at him, honey-suckle eyes dilated, and he gently gripped her hair to pull her head back and expose her neck. He gently maneuvered her backwards, back to the sofa. When her knees hit the cushion, he lifted his head from her neck and kissed her, his mouth pressing into hers feverishly. She seemed to stumble at kissing him back, as if the shock of his mouth swayed her, but caught on to what he wanted, what he needed from her lips. Gently pushing her onto the sofa, he sat next to her and pulled her on top of him, pulling one of her legs over him to straddle him.

"Amelia," he whispered. "I don't want to hurt you like Kenny did."

She smiled. "It's not the first time I've been manhandled, Callen."

She watched his throat as he swallowed and his chest widened with a long breath. His eyes searched her face and he raised his hand to caress her cheek. "I don't want to just manhandle you Amelia."

"I know." She gazed down at him.

Callen looked into her dark eyes and stared, trying to find any sign of her wanting, of needing him. All he could see was insecurity.

Hesitation.

Fear.

Nothing that told him she wanted this. Or him.

He took a deep breath, and rubbed her back as her hands gently caressed his hair. "Amelia, I want this. But I know you don't, so let's stop for now."

Amelia stayed quiet, and after a heartbeat nodded. Carefully, he disengaged from her, and pulled away, leaning her back against the sofa. She climbed away from him, and folded her legs underneath herself, crossing her arms over her chest. He adjusted his body and did the same, leaning back against the cushion and crossing his legs. It was painful but better than letting her see his continued arousal.

"I will not make you do anything you don't want to, Amelia." He reached over and grabbed her knee, his hand gently squeezing. "I'm sorry. I was out of line again."

"No Callen." She said quietly. "I want to. I just don't know if I want it to be you."

He turned to her and stared, quietly speaking to her. "Me? Want what to be me?"

She shook her head and stared ahead. Callen unfolded his legs and turned to her, moving closer. "Amelia, talk to me. What did you mean?"

"I wanted what we were doing." She said. "I wanted to... I want to. But I'm scared."

"About?"

"Everything." Amelia whispered. She looked ahead, staring at something he couldn't see. "I want you, Callen. Like a woman should want a man. But I want things to stay the same."

"I feel the same Amelia." Callen reached over her shoulders and pulled her into his arms. He clasped his fingers and moved so her arms could encircle his waist. "I don't want to lose one of the best things to happen to me. To me girls."

"I want things to be the same tomorrow morning, Callen." Amelia pressed her hand into his midsection, and looked up into his face. When he looked back down at her, she buried her face into his shoulder, and hugged him hard with her arms behind his back. "Promise me things won't change. Put it on your badge. Put it on the girls. Put it on anything, that tomorrow we will go back to exactly how things are."

"Amelia, nothing will change, nothing will happen to us. I promise. We aren't going to-" Callen grit his teeth, and sucked in his breath. Her hand had traveled from his abdomen to his groin, where she was carefully stroking him off over his jeans. He reached down and covered her hand with his. "Amelia, you don't need to do this."

"I want you like any woman would want a man, Callen." She said softly, her breath warm and sweet against his neck. "I just don't want tomorrow to be any different."

Callen swallowed the stone in his throat, and felt it cut on its way down. "I promise, nothing will change between us."

He moved his hand over hers, pushing her fingers to his zipper. He quickly unzipped his jeans as her fingers yanked on the metal tab, allowing her hand to pull him out of his denim prison. Callen rolled his head back as she gripped him, staring at the ceiling as her hand carefully moved up and down his shaft.

"Amelia," he choked out, feeling like he was swallowing his tongue. "Faster. Please." He rolled his tongue over his lips. "Higher. Over the tip."

She did as he asked, listening to him gasp. She watched as the tip of his length became wet, oozing a bit. His hand fisted next to him as she worked him over. His other hand crept up her shoulder and cupped the back of her head, softly gripping her hair. Turning to glance at his face, she was surprised at the vulnerability. Normally stone-like and stoic, he seemed to be holding back a moan as his hand was pressing her head downward.

He yelped when her hot mouth swallowed him. He groaned loudly, feeling the hot warmth of her mouth encompass him, glancing down to see her multicolored hair pool in his lap. When she swallowed more than a third of him down, he felt the heat of her mouth, and the vibration of her moans, causing his hips to buck furiously. His actions shoved his length into her mouth further, hitting the back of her throat, making her choke. His head shot up at the sound, and he recoiled his hips, pulling himself out of her mouth. She coughed, and he let go of her hair, instead wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his lap.

"Are you okay?" He whispered between breaths, stroking her hair out of her face. "Amelia?"

She looked at him with watering eyes and nodding, her hand moving along his member once more. "Yeah, it was just sudden. Sorry."

Pulling her close, he pressed his lips against her neck, while his hands worked to untie her shirt and push it off her shoulders. Amelia took over, pulling the offending fabric from her body, letting it bunch at her waist and leaving her clad in a see-through bra. Immediately, his hand went to her chest, softly stroking a large mound, his thumb honing in on her own point of arousal until her own hand covered his own.

Adjusting himself, he bunched the back of his shirt in a fist and yanked it off, leaving himself exposed to her. Small, warm, pale hands flitted over his chest, reminiscent of doves, and he covered them with his palms, staring at her.

"Still worried?" He asked her, his voice soothing, while his hands ran over the tops of hers, to her arms.

"Yes." Her voice was small and breathy. "A little bit."

"Tell me if you want me to stop." He breathed to her. He pressed a hand against the back of her head and brought her forehead against his, eyes closed. "I don't care how far we are. Just tell me."

What he didn't ask her was if she was scared.

She was thankful for that small blessing, because she knew he'd see through that lie.

Strong fingers pulled the straps of her bra down the sides of her arms, allowing the cold air to hit her. Her breasts peaked, and he gave his approval at the sight of her topless when he became solid between her legs, more so than before. Amelia moaned softly, and leaned forward, her hands landing on either side of his head. Given the perfect opportunity, Callen descended upon her peaks, his mouth devouring, as his arms wrapped around her back.

Shuddering, Amelia's hands ran through his hair, and then his shoulders. His mouth worked her over, trailing from one tip to the next, while his hands grabbed her behind under her skirt. Gingerly, he moved her upwards, and slipped his thumb underneath her panties, sliding them aside. Feeling her begin to shiver, he let her breast pop from his mouth and pulled her close, his hand cupping her while his thumb slipped between her folds. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he found her slippery nub, and gently circled it with his thumb, his mouth kissing and sucking her bare shoulders.

Amelia's arms wrapped around his neck and shoulder, one hand back to gripping his hair. She felt one of his fingers softly stroke the outside of her entrance, while his thumb played circles around the bundle of nerves she had felt she neglected for years. His warm mouth trailed from her shoulder, to her neck, finally to her chin and then captured her lips. He intruded her mouth with his tongue, ignoring her hesitation, before he heard her breathing get heavier. Pulling away, Callen pressed his forehead against hers, his eyes open, staring into her closed lids.

"Look at me, Amelia," he gasped. His thumb went faster, as his finger entered her just slightly. "Look at me."

Amelia forced her eyes open, her lips partially open, releasing panting breaths. His own eyes, the color of stormclouds, pulled her in, capturing her attention. Quivering, she gripped his hair and moved her hips, grinding on his hand as two fingers slipped inside of her to stroke her from the inside out. As he stirred feelings inside of her that were unfamiliar, she couldn't stop herself. She cried out, gripping his shoulders and riding his hand hard. He felt his hand soak with her release, her body shaking, as she buried her face in his neck and groaned. He pulled his hand from her lower region and hugged her close, gripping her as tight as she was him.

"Shh, Amelia, look at me." He whispered in her ear. Gently, he pulled her arms off of him, and gazed into her dilated eyes, lips swollen from biting. He stroked her face with one hand, while the other lifted her hips, pulling her to her knees, . Her hands pressed into his chest as she looked down, and saw him spring up between her legs.

Carefully, Callen pulled her higher, letting the head graze her entrance. Her eyes went wide, and she stared at him, slowly shaking her head. "I... I don't think I'm ready."

His finger, just the tip, slipped into her opening, massaging her gently before bringing his finger to his lips, tasting her. "Oh, yes lover, yes you are." He leaned into her, kissing her softly. He pulled away sharply and gazed into her eyes. "This.. This may be fast. It's been a while."

She gave him the warmest smile he had ever seen grace her lips. She palmed his face, and gently stroked his jawline. "Trust me, probably not as long as it has been for me."

Gripping his length, he pulled aside her underwear and pushed the head into her entrance, feeling the tight flesh stretch and retract. He was larger than most. It wasn't something he took immense pride in. It was just a fact, and he normally would have to work more prior to copulation to prepare his partner. He wouldn't have minded it. But she was already so wet for him, he didn't think that he could do anything further to prepare her for his girth.

She groaned, pulling him tighter as he fed himself inside of her inch by inch. He felt her arms shaking on his shoulder, and across his back. It was a familiar feeling, one he was used to with a woman who hadn't been with him before.

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her hips down, giving a long hard thrust, encasing himself in her folds. Amelia cursed loudly, and he held still, feeling her pulse and squeeze. Confused, he went as immobile as he could, moving his arms from her waist to wrap her and pull her close, his lips back to her neck. It wasn't the scream he was expecting. It wasn't sensual, or a vocal sound of fulfillment.

It was pain.

Then he felt it.

The resistance, the barrier that was there, and then was gone. His eyes opened wide and he looked up at her, amazed and confused. This was why she was scared. This is why she was afraid of tomorrow. Not because they would be different.

But because she would be.

"Amelia," he said, his voice a whisper. "We can stop."

"No. Don't stop Callen." She said gasping, but she was shaking so hard he was afraid to keep going.

When her body began to still, he began to move them both, laying her on her back onto the sofa. Looking down at her in wonder, he stroked her face, and pressed a thumb against her bottom lip. Gently he pulled out, and even more slowly he pressed himself inside of her again, feeling her tightening around him with each push and pull. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, while her legs crossed over his hips, beckoning him. With each grip of her body, he groaned, willing himself to keep going, to continue the feeling of being trapped inside of her.

She turned away, closing her eyes as her body reacted to his, until he pressed his hand against her cheek. "Amelia," he groaned, still moving. "Open your eyes. Look at me lover. Look at me."

Amelia did as she was asked, hiccuping with each movement of his body inside hers. "Amelia," he choked out, moving faster. "I... I can't hold out for much longer."

Nodding, Amelia moved her hips in tune with his, her arms wrapping around his waist as his hands gripped her shoulders. Moaning, he pushed inside of her faster, his mouth against her neck, until he raised himself and crashed his lips down on hers.

His eyes holding hers, he gripped her as he pushed on, harder, and faster, until he began to shake. Amelia pulled him close as he orgasmed, shaking, groaning loudly into her mouth. He felt her grip him tight, and he collapsed, still inside of her.

Callen lay unmoving, shaking as the aftermath of his orgasm took over him. Gingerly, he pulled himself out, staring at her with fear in his eyes. He moved so he could keep looking at her while lying down beside her.

Amelia mimicked his gaze, breathing heavily. He watched her swallow, hard.

"Amelia," he whispered, stroking her face. "Why? Why did you give that to me?"

Blinking back tears, she stayed silent, pulling up an arm to cover herself. She turned away and stared at the ceiling. "Was I wrong too?"

Callen wrapped his arm around her waist, kissing her shoulder. "No lover. No. But why me?"

She felt her eyes burning, and then the sting of tears as they poured down her cheeks. Callen wiped them away, and wrapped a leg around hers. She sniffled, and grimaced. "It hurts."

Callen stroked her hair, pressing his face into her neck. "It's going to. For a bit. May until the morning."

Amelia never looked at him, only nodded. Carefully, Callen pulled himself away. Redoing his jeans, he lowered a hand to help her up. "Stay with me tonight."

"No." She whispered. "You promised. You promised nothing would change."

He took her hand in his and gently pulled her up. "I didn't know, Amelia. This changes things."

Amelia tried to pull away, standing up. Her knees buckled and she cried out, holding onto her midsection. Callen reacted quickly,

pulling her into his arms. "Amelia, you can't walk. Climbing those stairs is a pipe dream."

He bent over to pull her legs to his chest, choosing to carry her into his bedroom. When her arm snaked around his neck, he kissed her wrist.

"I don't want to talk about it, Callen." She whispered as he set her down next to his bed. Ignoring her protests, he undid her bra, and slipped it off, followed by pulling her shirt over her head. "Callen, did you hear me?"

"Loud and clear." He pulled her skirt off her hips, letting it fall into a puddle of fabric on the floor.

"I mean it." Amelia said.

His thumbs pulled her underwear down, carefully avoiding her raw area. He pressed a soft kiss against her belly. "I heard you."

Along with her underwear, and any remaining particles of clothing she had, he set them on his dresser. He turned to her and undid his jeans, stripping nude infront of her, and watching her reaction. Her arms came up to cover herself when he stepped towards her, and then pulled his sheets back.

"Lay down Amelia." He said, and maneuvered her under the covers. She rolled to her side and curled into a ball. Pulling the sheets over her, he kissed her temple. "I have to clean up. Don't leave. We aren't going to do anything more. Okay?"

When he came back, he breathed a sigh of relief that she was still there. He climbed onto the other side of the bed, and wrapped his arms around her. "We need to talk. Not tonight. But we do."

"Please," she begged softly. "Please don't make me."

Gripping her tightly, he folded his legs underneath hers, giving her as much of his warmth as he could. "Your blood is on my sofa. I can't ignore it."

"How bad?"

"Nothing I can't clean before you wake up." He said softly. "Just rest."

"I'm sorry." She replied. He heard soft sounds of weeping. "I'm so sorry, Callen."

"There is nothing to apologize for. It'll be okay." Callen pulled her close until he felt her relax into him, nuzzling into her hair. "Just sleep Amelia. It'll be okay."

He rained soft kisses on her shoulders and neck until he heard the soft breathing turn heavy.

She felt warm. Comforting. He thought about the other feeling brewing, and tried to shove it down.

He didn't want this to be her only reminder of him, the strongest memory of him causing her pain.

He didn't sleep that night.