Chapter 24: Who Breaks First After We Walk Out?
1178 Words
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Chapter 24: Who Breaks First After We Walk Out?
The train pulled out of the station slowly.
Wind slipped through the cracked window, messing up Elara’s hair. She didn’t move. Just watched the trees blur past like frames in an old film.
“You’re not nervous at all?” Sable asked.
“I am,” Elara said. “I just don’t show it.”
“How do you do that?” Sable asked.
“I don’t do it,” Elara said. “I just got used to it.”
“Got used to being nervous?” Sable frowned.
“Got used to talking through it,” Elara said. “And walking through it.”
“That sounds exhausting,” Sable said.
“It is,” Elara nodded. “But didn’t you do the same?”
“I don’t know,” Sable said. “I just want to check something.”
“What?” Elara asked.
“If we really changed,” Sable said. “Or if we’re just acting the same roles in a new place.”
“You want the truth?” Elara looked at her.
“Of course,” Sable said.
“I don’t know either,” Elara said. “I just know I’m not acting now.”
“Then why did you come?” Sable asked.
“Because I was scared I’d regret it if you left alone,” Elara said. “Not scared you’d get hurt — scared I’d miss the version of you that finally showed up.”
“The version of me?” Sable repeated.
“The one who finally looked at herself,” Elara said. “I didn’t want to miss that.”
“That sounds like you,” Sable smiled. “But this time, you didn’t hide behind words.”
“I didn’t,” Elara said. “I just don’t want to look back anymore.”
---
They arrived in the city.
They moved into a small apartment. The balcony faced west, and every evening the sunlight turned everything gold.
“You like it here?” Sable asked.
“I do,” Elara said. “But I’m not sure if I like the place, or just like you being here.”
“That doesn’t matter,” Sable said. “As long as you like it.”
“But liking can be a lie,” Elara said.
“A lie?” Sable asked.
“A lie we tell ourselves,” Elara said. “We confuse needing with liking too easily.”
“You mean us?” Sable looked at her.
“I mean me,” Elara said. “I don’t know about you.”
“I do too,” Sable said. “I used to think I needed you because I was scared of being alone.”
“And now?” Elara asked.
“Now I think I need you because I’m scared of being alone and still being alone,” Sable said.
“That sounds like you,” Elara smiled. “But this time, you didn’t run from it.”
“I don’t want to run anymore,” Sable said. “I just… don’t know how not to.”
“Then we learn slowly,” Elara said.
“You’re always so gentle,” Sable said.
“I’m not gentle,” Elara said. “I just don’t want you to feel alone.”
“And you?” Sable asked. “Are you alone?”
“Of course I am,” Elara said. “But I’m not afraid of it anymore.”
“And me?” Sable looked at her.
“And me?” Elara repeated. “I’m scared.”
“I’m scared too,” Sable said. “I’m scared you’ll stop needing me one day.”
“Me too,” Elara said. “But I won’t say it out loud.”
“Why not?” Sable asked.
“Because once you say it,” Elara said, “it becomes real. I don’t want it to be real.”
---
That night, they drank on the balcony.
“Do you remember our first fight?” Sable asked.
“I do,” Elara smiled. “You said I was too cold.”
“I did,” Sable nodded. “But I was too hot.”
“What do you mean?” Elara asked.
“I was burning,” Sable said. “So I needed you to be cold to balance it. Now I’m cooling down, and I’m scared you’re still too cold.”
“So you want to be warm?” Elara asked.
“I do,” Sable said. “But I’m not sure if you want to.”
“I do,” Elara said. “But I won’t pretend.”
“I don’t need you to pretend,” Sable said. “I just need you to be close — honestly close.”
“I can do that,” Elara said. “But you should know — being close doesn’t mean no pain.”
“I know,” Sable nodded. “But I’m not scared of pain anymore.”
“Then let’s try,” Elara said.
“Try what?” Sable asked.
“Try being really together,” Elara said. “Not because we need each other. Because we choose each other.”
“That sounds like you,” Sable smiled. “But this time, you’re leading.”
“No,” Elara shook her head. “This time, we both speak.”
“Okay,” Sable said. “We both speak.”
---
The next morning, they went to the market.
“What do you want to eat?” Sable asked.
“Anything,” Elara said. “As long as you bought it.”
“You never used to say that,” Sable said.
“I never used to really want to live with you,” Elara said.
“And now?” Sable asked.
“Now I want to try,” Elara said. “Not to prove anything. Just because I want to.”
“That sounds like you,” Sable said. “But this time, you didn’t step back.”
“I didn’t,” Elara said. “I just took one step forward.”
“Then I’ll take the second,” Sable said.
“No,” Elara said. “We take it together.”
---
They stood at the market entrance, the sun falling on their faces.
“Do you remember why we walked out?” Sable asked.
“I do,” Elara said. “Not to escape. To confirm we’re real.”
“Have we confirmed it yet?” Sable asked.
“No,” Elara said. “But we’re still confirming.”
“Then let’s keep walking,” Sable said.
“We will,” Elara nodded. “But not for anyone. For ourselves.”
“Thank you,” Sable said.
“Don’t thank me,” Elara smiled. “I’m just standing in the light.”
“I’m here too,” Sable said. “I’m just… here.”
“I’m here,” Elara said. “I’m just… here too.”
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- Writer
