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Hours later, we’re all being driven through Cairo in a stretch Escalade that’s the definition of obnoxiously large. The vehicle is all black with tinted windows and a license plate that says FAE ONE in Sanskrit. The Colonel’s driver, a lanky troll named Idjit, seems to think that traffic laws apply to everyone else. Idjit also flew us here the Colonel’s jet. Happily, he’s a much more careful pilot than chauffeur.
The divider between the front and back seats rolls down. Idjit keeps driving wildly while simultaneously turning around to address us all. “Welcome to Cairo, ladies and germs.” Idjit is a lanky guy with a massive nose and small tufts of grey hair atop his head. His body is sinewy and covered in leathery gray the skin. For some reason, Idjit talks like a bad game show host.
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