----- PROLOGUE -----
2031 Words
"HAVING the deal that I gave up on wishing. The price that I needed to pay. The life that I dwell in remorse is the curse I brought unto myself, and now that very wish will both have to make and break everything I ever believe. Time will tell, and our hearts will find each other. To this sacrifice, our destiny will make a way for this to end according to its will."
The words that ring the terrible pain and cursed life that I have and carve inside this pretentious life of mine. The life that I curse and I might forever have to regret. From the past, and the memories that are bringing me pain that I couldn’t even fully remember.
“You will not leave me, right, Rafael?"
The whispering words that I kept on having, hearing, and shaking me with the pain that I wanted to know what. From whom and why. Yet, I couldn’t remember. The words and the voice of a girl that my heart is screaming from deep inside that I care so much, yet I stupidly couldn’t remember from whom.
“That one cruel thing that I wanted to find out what, who, why, where, and when.”
Words that I could only whisper and hatefully, but the words that were somewhat too far for me to reach.
“I will never.”
The promise that I gave, but then the same one that I filed to fulfill. The fact that is lingering and pain inside my heart. Wherein it felt like the whole world is against me, mocking me in every way which I could only hope and wish to undo.
“I will never leave you, and that is my promise.”
Words that’s hitting me with that undesirable pain, but the longing that I wanted to embrace. To cry my heart out and blame the heavens and everyone for letting me forget someone very important that I shouldn’t have forgotten.
“In this life of yours, the luxury and the fact that you need to live is something that you couldn’t undo. You choose this part, and by which I only help you to have such. Now, you need to endure the consequence of taking the deal that you shouldn’t have in the very first place.”
Luna’s words, her warnings, and my punishment. Things that hardly doesn’t make sense to me right now. But one thing is sure, I have this life, this luxury and power for that one important person that I am seeking. The person that I needed to see, hold, and promised with.
“Remember this Rafael no matter what, you are the only one that can dictate your very fate. No one in this world can stop you from what you desire and could have you are a human being and my son.”
My father’s words. The only thing he left for me. The past and my memories that I only have as bits. From the accident, the things that I have lost, and the family that I will never be able to see. There is still something more. More than I could ever think about, someone that I needed to see and remember quickly. The person that destiny made me forget for all those years.
“Can I go back to that place, mom, dad? On my 13th birthday, let us go back there, for I have a promise that I need to fulfill.”
Words that I wished for then. The request that maybe I shouldn’t have said, I shouldn’t have wanted and I shouldn’t have coveted. For if I didn’t, maybe, no, I still have my family with me, and I should have felt half complete.
“Everything that happened is by design. You have no right to change and wish for something to undo, redo, and even change. Everything from the very beginning is inevitable.”
Luna’s words, her teachings, and the deeper meaning that still I couldn’t quite understand fully. But one thing is sure, I do not have the right to argue, protest, and ask her many questions why. Knowing that it is my fault for not remembering a thing from my past.
"Father, mother, Yuki!"
I wanted to scream all the unbearable pain that I have. Even curse the heavens for what he did to turn my life into this kind of painful mess. To the memories that continue to ring with the very same pain and longing. I wanted to take the steps and run away far and fast. Never look back and forget everything and start anew. But I can’t, I just couldn’t, for someone is waiting for me, someone that I needed to remember, to find and fast.
“Don't you remember anything, Rafael?”
From the life of luxury with a golden spoon in my mouth that I have. The family that I knew, loved, care for, and treasured. At one point forgot about them, and in an instant, they are all gone, and by which I also lost them. To this ungrateful destiny, my nightmare remains, hunting me every night as I sleep. The nightmare of that day when I lost everything that I love.
“Rafael? Is that my name?”
The faint whisper of the question that I ask. The time that I first woke up, the ungrateful destiny that brought me into the place, and the cruel fate that doom me in this cycle of tragedy between life and death.
“Rafael, is that who I am?”
The thought that I have then the moment that bits of my memories that I have lost came back to my mind. But unlike what I expected, what I wanted, I only got the pieces and a few about myself, and my family. Then, nothing else comes after that.
“Five years ago, a tragic mix-up of car accidents killed three of the influential and wealthiest members of the family of Altamira. In that scene, only a boy survived, the eldest son and the only heir. The young boy of age 13 together with a little girl is in the same tragic scene. It was during your thirteenth birthday, as you are the only one lucky enough to stay alive, Rafael.”
The fact still haunts me today. The accident that half of my mind and my conscience is telling me that it wasn’t the case. Everything from that time and the accident is planned. A cruel trick from someone who hated me down to my very existence.
“If everything will fall off the track, I hope that you will find sympathy towards us, as we are in deep agony, to tell you that we are sorry.”
My father’s last words. He apologizes, the kind of apology that I do not understand what he means by telling me such. The person that I am looking up to and the first person that I remember after I lost my memories. Words that are lingering inside my mind. Things that are a heavy burden to my mind and my life for having nothing of some sort of light for me to able to have the light and the answers to everything.
“Do whatever it takes and bring back everything to its right track that it all should be, as no one can and will do it, but you, Rafael.”
The right thing, the right path, and the needed track that I should fix. Things that I do not understand. Memories that are erratic and blurry inside my mind. The truth that I wanted to know and at the same time I wanted to run away because of the pain it causes me.
“Damn!”
I screamed. Cursing my life and the heavens for everything that happened to my life.
“Just who the hell I am? Who is the one that I needed to remember?”
Few of the questions that I have. Things that I desperately wanted some answer to. And now looking at the dark sky, where the cold breeze blows and the rain starts pouring. My attention is taken from the dark water below. Thinking to myself if I’ll jump from this height, would I remember something in return?
“Their time of death is 3:00 am on June 6.”
"Ahh!"
“I knew it, you are a guardian angel, Rafael.”
A guardian angel? More like a devil that has the deepest and heaviest sin. A sin that I am currently suffering as my punishment.
“Damn! Just what do I need to remember?”
I slap my head, shaking it, and hoping that a thing or two will lead me to the answers that I am seeking. Yet, it wasn’t that easy. It’s never that easy.
“You are the person that you are right now for that is the path that you choose from the past. Everything has a price, and this fate is just one of them.”
Luna’s words, scolding and indirectly slapping me with those facts that I somehow understand, yet I couldn’t fully remember the reason behind.
“Cold, this rain and the waters below. If I took my change and jumps from this bridge, would you give me the benefit of the doubt and give me the answers that I have been looking for?’”
I look up and ask the heavens for an answer. A type of assurance and just a bit of an agreement. But who am I to fool?
“You see, I am desperate enough for the answers.”
The road is quiet, no one is around. The bridge that I am currently standing now is just the right amount of height that I needed. Probably it can kill me, but then thinking about it, I guess it is all for the best.
“Tsk! Very well, I dare myself.”
I immediately climb up to the highest part of the bridge. A bit recognizing the people that slowly crowd below me. But I do not care, I helplessly don’t care anymore.
“What is he doing? Someone calls for help!”
The rain is getting heavy by the second. Somewhat the heavens are giving me the hint of not being foolish in doing such a thing. Yet, I guess to this very moment, I couldn’t back down.
“Damn this life, I hate this chance.”
Words that I didn’t mean to say, but out of frustration I utter those words unnecessarily.
“He’s going to jump!”
One or two, voices from the crowd are screaming. Now making me aware that I somewhat made a scene, a commotion, and an unnecessary thing that a teen could do.
“Stop!”
Half of the crowd screams, while the others are probably in shock and panic. But as I said, I didn’t care for a bit. As I jump from the heights and plunge straight and deep into the deep waters.
“He jumps!”
“Someone saves that boy!”
I felt the pain from the impact that the waters did on my body. With the light that is reflecting above the waters, dancing and searching. Emergency teams might now be in the area. From the blood that I could see floating up as I slowly fell deep.
“My name is Rafael and you are?”
I slowly close my eyes when a certain memory rings back, but it wasn’t enough for me to fight for my life. But then.
“Rafael!”
That certain call, a knowing voice, urgency, and warmth jolted me awake. Just to see someone driving from the deep waters, reaching a hand towards me and grabbing my arm pulling me close for a kiss. Resonating an air where I could faintly see that it was a girl.
“Promise me that you will be back for me.”
She pulled me up and carries me in her arms. Reaching the surface where I could faintly hear her gasp for air, everything went black, and words whispered.
“'I will be back, I promise.”
MIYU
- Writer
