Thirteen
1652 Words
Leah texted me on Friday afternoon.
Movie. 7. Bring snacks. Normal snacks.
I replied.
Define normal.
Her response came fast.
Do not test me.
I stared at my phone and laughed. Then I stopped laughing because I didn’t want to feel too excited about a movie night like it was a big deal. It was a big deal for me, but with Leah I had learned that acting too happy could make her pull back.
So I went shopping and tried to be sensible.
I bought chips. I bought biscuits. I bought juice. Then I saw gummy sweets and almost grabbed them, just to annoy her. I remembered her face in the snacks aisle and put them back.
At 6:58 I knocked on her door.
She opened with her glasses on and her hair down. No cardigan.
I froze for half a second.
“What,” she said.
“Nothing,” I replied quickly.
“You’re looking,” she said.
“I’m just saying hi,” I lied.
Leah stepped aside. “Come in.”
I walked in, took my shoes off, and held up the bag.
“Normal snacks,” I announced.
Leah looked into the bag and nodded like she approved.
“You behaved,” she said.
“I can behave,” I replied.
She stared at me. “Sometimes.”
I smiled. “That’s fair.”
Leah took the snacks and went to the kitchen. I followed and helped take things out of the bag without being asked. She didn’t stop me.
She pointed at the couch. “Sit.”
I sat. Leah moved around for a minute, then came back with snacks and two cups.
She handed me a cup. “Don’t spill.”
“Yes boss,” I said.
She gave me a look.
“Okay,” I corrected.
She sat down on the couch, leaving a small space between us. The TV was already on. She picked up the remote and scrolled through options like she hated every choice.
“Pick,” she said, handing me the remote.
“You pick,” I replied.
“I always pick,” she said.
“That’s true,” I admitted. “Pick something you actually want.”
Leah sighed, then chose a comedy. Nothing deep. Something simple. Something that wasn’t going to make her feel too much.
The movie started and I tried to focus. For the first ten minutes, Leah sat straight, hands in her lap, watching the screen with her serious face. Like she was grading the movie.
I glanced at her.
She noticed immediately.
“What,” she asked, without looking away from the TV.
“Nothing,” I replied.
“You’re doing it,” she said.
“Doing what.”
“Checking if I’m okay,” she said.
I paused. “I’m not checking. I’m just… here.”
Leah turned her head slightly. “Be here quietly.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
We watched.
About twenty minutes in, something funny happened. Leah laughed once, a quick sound, then covered her mouth like she could take it back.
I looked at her, smiling.
She pointed at me. “Don’t.”
“I didn’t say anything,” I replied.
“You were about to,” she said.
“I was,” I admitted.
She nodded, satisfied, and went back to the movie.
I tried to relax. I tried to treat this like a normal couple thing, but we weren’t a normal couple. Leah needed things to be calm. She needed control. She needed to choose what happened next.
So I stayed still and waited.
Halfway through the movie, she shifted. Her legs moved on the couch and she ended up closer to me. Her shoulder touched my arm for a second, then stayed there.
My body went stiff. Not because I was uncomfortable. Because I was trying not to ruin it by reacting.
Leah noticed.
“You’re tense,” she said.
“I’m fine,” I replied.
“You’re not,” she said.
I breathed out slowly. “Okay. I’m not.”
Leah nodded. “Relax.”
I tried. Her shoulder stayed against my arm like she was testing if that was still safe.
The movie continued. Leah’s head leaned slightly toward me. Not fully resting on me. Just close. Then, slowly, her head settled against my upper arm.
My heart started beating too fast. I kept my face neutral and stared at the screen.
Leah whispered, “If you move, I will move.”
“I won’t move,” I whispered back.
“Good,” she said, and stayed there.
We watched like that for a while. I stopped thinking so hard and actually started enjoying the movie. Leah’s body was warm against mine. It felt normal. It felt good.
Toward the end, the movie got unexpectedly emotional. One of the characters said something about family. Leah went quiet. Her head stayed on my arm, but her body stiffened slightly.
I noticed, but I didn’t say anything. I kept watching. I didn’t want to pull her out of the moment by asking questions.
A few minutes later, I saw her eyes look wet. She blinked quickly and stared harder at the screen.
I reached for the tissues on the table and placed them near her hand without saying anything.
Leah glanced at them, then at me.
“Don’t look,” she said quietly.
“I’m not,” I replied.
She took a tissue and pretended she was just wiping her nose.
The movie ended. Leah sat up straight again and cleared her throat like she was resetting herself.
“That was not terrible,” she said.
“That’s high praise,” I replied.
Leah gave me a look. “Don’t.”
“Okay,” I said, smiling.
She turned off the TV and stayed sitting. She didn’t rush me out. She didn’t stand up immediately. She just sat there, quiet, holding a tissue in her hand like she forgot it was there.
I waited.
After a moment, Leah said, “You’re learning.”
“What am I learning,” I asked.
“How to not make fun of me when I feel things,” she replied.
I shook my head. “I would never make fun of you for that.”
Leah looked at me. “People do.”
“I’m not people,” I said.
Leah narrowed her eyes. “Don’t say that.”
I adjusted. “Okay. I’m just me.”
Leah nodded. “Better.”
We sat in silence again. Then Leah spoke, very quietly.
“I like you,” she said.
It sounded like she hadn’t planned to say it. It sounded like she wanted it out of her mouth before she changed her mind.
My chest tightened. I kept my voice calm.
“I like you too,” I replied.
Leah stared at me like she was checking if I was going to make it dramatic.
I didn’t.
She leaned toward me and kissed me.
It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t a quick peck. It was a slow kiss, gentle and steady. She pulled back slightly, then kissed me again, longer. Her hand rested lightly on my arm, not gripping, just there.
I didn’t grab her. I didn’t pull her closer. I kept my hands calm and let her decide the pace.
When she pulled back, she said, “Do not make it a speech.”
“I won’t,” I promised.
“Good,” she replied, and kissed me again.
This time I allowed myself to put my hand on her waist, light pressure, nothing that could trap her. Leah didn’t move away. She leaned in. She kissed me like she wanted to.
When she finally pulled back, she looked at me closely.
“You’re smiling,” she said.
“I’m happy,” I admitted.
Leah shook her head. “Be happy quietly.”
“I will be happy quietly,” I said.
She nodded. “Good.”
We sat there for a few more minutes. Leah leaned against the couch and took a deep breath, like she was calming herself after doing something brave.
“I thought I would hate movie nights,” she said.
“Why,” I asked.
“Because it’s couple stuff,” she replied. “And I don’t like feeling like I have to act like other people.”
“You don’t have to act,” I said. “You can just be.”
Leah looked at me. “That sounds like pressure.”
“It’s not,” I said quickly. “I mean you can be yourself. That’s all.”
She stared at me for a second, then said, “Okay.”
That was her way of accepting it.
After a while, she stood up and stretched.
“You should go,” she said.
I nodded. “Okay.”
I stood too. At the door she hesitated.
“Thank you,” she said.
“For what,” I asked.
“For not making it weird,” she replied.
I smiled. “I tried.”
Leah raised her eyebrows.
“I did it,” I corrected.
She nodded, satisfied.
Before I stepped out, Leah grabbed the front of my shirt lightly and pulled me in for one more kiss. This one was quick, but it had a little more confidence than the earlier ones.
Then she let go and said, “Go.”
“Yes boss,” I said without thinking.
She narrowed her eyes. “Do not.”
I laughed. “Okay.”
She watched me walk out, then closed the door.
I went home and lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. It wasn’t the movie that stayed in my mind. It was Leah saying “I like you” in that quiet voice, and the way she kissed me like she had decided she wanted this.
It made me feel hopeful.
- Writer
