Nine
2479 Words
The next week Leah was back to grocery errands.
Not every day, not even every week, but enough that it felt like she was trying to build something steady again. She texted me on Saturday morning.
Groceries at 11. Meet outside.
I replied right away.
Okay. Snacks too.
She replied.
Do not embarrass me.
I smiled at my phone and got dressed.
When I got outside, she was already there. Jeans, a plain top, hair tied back, glasses on. She looked like she had things to do and didn’t want distractions. But she still came early, and she still waited.
“You’re on time,” she said.
“I’m improving,” I replied.
She looked at my hands. “Where are the snacks.”
“I haven’t bought them yet,” I said. “I’m choosing with you.”
She frowned. “That is risky.”
“It’s safer,” I said. “Then you can’t blame me.”
“I can still blame you,” she replied, and started walking.
At the store she moved fast like always. Rice, eggs, milk, vegetables. I carried the basket and stayed close. She asked me to check the dates on yogurt and pretended she didn’t care when I teased her for being serious about it.
At the snacks aisle she stopped and looked at the shelves.
“Okay,” I said. “We pick two things each.”
“No,” she said.
“Yes,” I replied.
She gave me a look. “You are trying to make this fun.”
“I am,” I said. “It is allowed.”
She sighed and reached for her usual biscuits and a small bag of plain chips.
“That is one,” I said. “Pick one more.”
She paused, then grabbed a small chocolate bar and put it in the basket like she was annoyed at herself for wanting it.
“Good,” I said. “My turn.”
“Be normal,” she warned.
“I am normal,” I said, and picked a bag of gummy sweets.
She stared at it. “No.”
“Why not,” I asked.
“Too childish,” she said.
“You bought sugary cereal,” I reminded her.
“That is different.”
“It is not different,” I said.
She shook her head. “Put it back.”
I put it back and picked a different snack, something simple. She nodded like she had approved a contract.
At the checkout she tried to pay for everything again.
“Leah,” I said, “I’m paying for the snacks.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
She looked at me. “Why.”
“Because I want to,” I said. “And because snacks are not a big deal.”
She paused, then stepped aside. “Fine. Pay for your bad choices.”
I paid and held up the receipt. “I will frame it.”
“Do not,” she replied.
We walked back to her place with the bags. She let me carry most of them without arguing. That was also progress.
When we got inside, she took the groceries and started putting them away. Then she stopped and looked at the clock.
“It’s early,” she said.
“Yes,” I replied.
She hesitated. “Do you want to stay.”
I kept my voice calm. “Only if you want me to.”
“I asked,” she said, like she did not want extra words from me.
“Okay,” I replied.
She nodded once, then went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. She stood there for a moment, then turned back.
“I’m making lunch,” she said.
“Can I help,” I asked.
She stared at me. “Can you be useful.”
“I can try,” I said.
“No,” she replied. “Just be useful.”
“Okay,” I said.
She handed me a cutting board and a knife. “Chop tomatoes.”
“I can do that,” I said.
She watched me for a second. “Do it properly.”
“I will,” I replied, then started chopping.
She moved around the kitchen with purpose. Rice on the stove. Chicken out of the fridge. Spices out of the cupboard. She didn’t talk much while cooking, but she didn’t send me away either.
After a few minutes she said, “How was your week.”
“Busy,” I replied. “But okay.”
She glanced at me. “You are doing the normal thing.”
“I’m trying,” I said.
“Don’t say try,” she replied.
“Okay,” I said. “I am doing it.”
She nodded like she approved.
We cooked in silence for a bit. Then Leah said, “I got an email.”
My stomach tightened, but I kept my face calm. “About the program.”
“Yes,” she said.
I waited.
“I have an interview,” she added.
“That’s good,” I said.
Leah watched me. “You’re not asking questions.”
“I want to,” I admitted. “But I’m waiting for what you want to share.”
She looked down at the chicken. “It’s in two weeks.”
“Okay,” I said. “Do you want help preparing.”
She paused. “Maybe.”
“That’s a yes,” I said.
“It’s a maybe,” she corrected.
I smiled. “We will do maybe.”
She rolled her eyes but her face softened slightly.
Lunch was simple. Chicken, rice, vegetables. She served us in bowls and sat at her small table across from me.
“Eat,” she said.
“Yes boss,” I replied.
“Do not call me that,” she said.
“You tell me what to do,” I said.
“Because you will do the wrong thing,” she replied.
“That is fair,” I said, and started eating.
It was good. I told her that. She nodded like it was normal for her food to be good.
Halfway through the meal she reached for water, then paused when she saw her glass was empty. I stood up to refill it.
She watched me. “I didn’t ask.”
“I know,” I said. “But you need water.”
She frowned. “Don’t make it a thing.”
“I’m not,” I replied, and filled the glass.
When I placed it in front of her, she said quietly, “Thank you.”
I sat back down. “You’re welcome.”
We finished eating and Leah started washing dishes right away.
“Let me,” I said.
“No,” she replied.
“Leah.”
She looked at me. “Fine. You wash. I dry.”
We stood side by side at the sink. It was crowded and awkward in the normal way. Our elbows bumped a few times. She pretended it did not happen.
“You’re in my space,” she said.
“This is a tiny kitchen,” I replied.
“You’re still in my space.”
I moved slightly. “Better.”
“Not really,” she said.
I smiled. “You want me close.”
She stopped drying a plate and looked at me. “Do not start.”
“I’m not starting,” I said, still smiling.
She stared at my face for a second longer than usual, then looked away and continued drying.
After the dishes, Leah sat on the couch and turned on the TV. She scrolled through options like she hated every choice.
“Pick something,” she said.
“You pick,” I replied.
“I always pick,” she said.
“That’s true,” I admitted. “Pick something you want.”
She sighed and put on a short comedy show. Nothing deep. Something that didn’t require emotion.
We sat there for a while, watching. Leah laughed once. She tried to hide it by covering her mouth, but it was still a laugh.
I looked at her. “There it is again.”
She didn’t look at me. “I did not laugh.”
“You did,” I said.
“I did not.”
“You did,” I repeated.
Leah turned her head slowly. “Do you want me to turn this off.”
“No,” I said quickly. “I’m sorry. I will behave.”
She nodded, satisfied, and kept watching.
About twenty minutes later she shifted her legs on the couch and ended up a little closer to me. Not fully leaning on me, just closer than before. Her shoulder touched my arm for a second, then stayed there.
I kept my body still. I didn’t move closer. I didn’t make a sound. I let her decide.
Leah stared at the TV, but her attention was not really there anymore. I could feel it. She was thinking.
Then she said quietly, “You have been good.”
I looked at her. “Good how.”
“You didn’t chase,” she said.
“I promised,” I replied.
She nodded. “And you didn’t make my father about you.”
“I tried not to,” I said.
She looked down at her hands. “Most people would.”
“I’m not most people,” I replied.
Leah glanced at me. “Don’t say that.”
“Okay,” I said. “I’m just me.”
She nodded slowly. “That is better.”
We stayed quiet again. The show kept playing. People on screen were joking, laughing, doing things that didn’t matter. Leah’s shoulder was still against my arm.
Then she turned her head and looked at me properly.
“I don’t know what we are,” she said.
I felt my chest tighten. I kept my voice calm. “We don’t have to name it.”
She swallowed. “But you want to.”
I paused. “Yes. But I can wait.”
Leah stared at me. “Waiting is hard for you.”
“It is,” I admitted. “But I can do hard things.”
She nodded, like she was thinking about that.
Then she said, “I want to do something.”
“Okay,” I replied, careful.
She breathed in, then out. “I want to kiss you.”
My heart jumped. I forced myself to stay calm because I knew the wrong reaction could ruin it.
I looked at her. “Only if you want to.”
“I said I want to,” she replied, slightly annoyed.
I nodded. “Okay.”
Leah shifted her body toward me. She hesitated for a second, then leaned in.
The kiss was gentle. Slow. Simple. No rush. No pressure. Just her mouth on mine, then a small pause, then her again like she was making sure she was still in control.
I didn’t grab her. I didn’t pull her closer. I kept my hands where they were and let her decide the pace.
After a few seconds she pulled back and looked at me.
“Do not make a big face,” she said.
I tried to keep my expression normal, but I was smiling. “I’m not.”
“You are,” she replied.
“I can’t help it,” I said.
Leah stared at me. “You are happy.”
“Yes,” I admitted.
She nodded once. “Okay.”
Then she leaned in again, like she wanted to be sure the first one was real. The second kiss lasted longer. I still did not rush her. I let her move, let her stop when she wanted.
When she pulled back this time, her cheeks were pink. She looked at the TV, then back at me.
“Was that okay,” she asked, quietly.
“It was more than okay,” I said. Then I remembered her rule and softened my voice. “It was good. Thank you.”
Leah nodded, then looked down. “Don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t,” I said.
She looked at me. “Not even your friends.”
“I won’t,” I repeated.
She sat back against the couch, but she didn’t move away. Her shoulder stayed against my arm.
We kept watching the show, but neither of us was paying attention now. Leah reached down and took one of the snacks from the bag, opened it, and handed it to me without looking.
I took it. “Are we celebrating.”
“We are eating,” she said.
“That’s celebrating,” I replied.
She gave me a look. “Do not be annoying.”
“I will be slightly annoying,” I said.
Leah sighed, but she looked calmer than she had in a long time.
After a while she said, “I did not think I could do that.”
“Kiss me,” I asked.
“Yes,” she replied. “I thought it would feel bad.”
“And it didn’t,” I said.
She shook her head. “No.”
I kept my voice soft. “You were in control.”
Leah nodded. “That is why.”
I wanted to tell her I cared about her. I wanted to tell her I was proud of her. I wanted to say a lot. But she had just done something brave, and I knew too many words could turn it into pressure.
So I kept it simple.
“I’m glad you wanted to,” I said.
Leah looked at me. “You’re doing the normal thing.”
“I’m trying,” I started.
She raised her eyebrows.
“I’m doing it,” I corrected.
Leah nodded. “Good.”
When it got late, she stood up and stretched.
“You should go,” she said.
“Okay,” I replied.
I stood too. At the door she hesitated, then reached out and took my hand. Just for a second. Then she let go.
“Thank you,” she said.
“For what,” I asked.
“For being patient,” she replied.
I nodded. “Anytime.”
She opened the door. Before I stepped out, she leaned forward and kissed me again, quick and gentle.
Then she looked at me, serious. “Do not let this make you stupid.”
I smiled. “Too late.”
She rolled her eyes. “Go.”
I left and walked home with a grin I could not hide.
That night I slept easily.
Not because everything was solved.
Because Leah chose something sweet for herself, and she chose it with me.
For the first time in a while, I let myself believe that we could have good days too.
- Writer
