His Weapon

IV

Muna's POV

I entered the all too familiar building. Horrible memories flooded my mind but I had to be strong, I had to do this. Its been a month and five days since I last visited her. I couldn't come up with any excuses for Zayn to let me come visit her because I didn't want him knowing.

Approaching the receptionist desk, Kayla smiled which I returned.

"Hi Kay" I greeted and she smiled warmly.

"I thought you were never going to show up again" She joked but there was some seriousness to it which I ignored.

"You can't get rid of me easily you know?" I pouted and she burst out laughing.

"But really how have you been?" She asked, concern written on her features.

"Been good" I answered shortly and she nodded.

"How has she been?" I went ahead and asked what I was dying to ask from the get go.

Kayla's smile dropped but she smiled again and I could tell it wasn't genuine this time. I've been coming here for years and know her very well. It definitely wasn't good news then.

"I wish I could tell you something different Muna but it's still the same as before" She said sadly. Over the years, some of the nurses had grown a soft spot for mother and her health bothers them as well and Kayla is at the top of the list.

My spirit was instantly downcast. "But she'd be fine, don't worry" Kayla assured me like she had done several times in the past.

"When? It's been six years already Kay and not even a single improvement" I asked, tears threatened to fall but I had to be strong. Mother is my only reason for fighting but sometimes I feel like maybe we should both just give up. I couldn't blame her but she wasn't giving me many reasons to want to fight.

Our conversation went on for about five minutes as I waited for another nurse to go get my mother.

"She's waiting" The nurse informed me, I nodded politely her way and thanked her. I excused myself and walked into the open field, the garden.

No one had to tell me where she was going to be, I knew all too well, too well for my liking. As much as I never want to come here, I always do because I couldn't abandon my mother. I couldn't turn my back on the woman that birthed me. Seeing her in such a condition kills me all the time but seeing her itself was a blessing.

Her tiny frame came into view and I couldn't help the smile that graced my face. I walked faster and sat near her, on the bench.

She didn't look at me, she never does.

"Hi mama" I greeted, extending my hand to grab hers that was planted firmly between her thighs as always. She ignored me like she always does, her eyes stared into space.

Over time I begun to wonder why she wouldn't talk to me or look at me but the nurses told me that even though she never responded physically, she did emotionally and that was enough. Everything I do is because of her, she is my only reason for living.

Everything used to be perfect, our family used to be perfect. Mum used to be very lively, jovial and loving but everything changed that night. The night I'd never forget, the night that still haunts me.

"I'm sorry for not coming for so long" I apologised, knowing she could hear me. She smiled with her eyes, accepting my apology which caused me to sigh.

"I missed you soo much" I broke down, flinging myself at her in a tight embrace which she never responds to. As much as I tried not to cry, I did. I snuggled my nose in the crook of her neck as I sobbed. Her sweet scent graced my nostril, one that I love with all my heart and missed with all my being.

We stayed that way for about thirty minutes. In silence and peace, thinking about only the good times and not the bad. Cameron came to my mind along with Caren and dad. I only allowed great thoughts and not the bad ones, something I've mastered over the years.

Finally it was the painful part, time for me to leave cause visiting hours were over. Kayla approached us with a sad smile and I shut my eyes tightly not wanting to hear the words I was used to.

"Just a minute more?" I pleaded before Kayla could even speak and she nodded, her eyes softening.

"I'd be back soon mama, I promise but you need to get better" I said, turning her face to me so she'd look directly at me. She looked through me and not at me but I knew she understood me.

I kissed her forehead and pulled her in for a hug and she hugged back, the only thing she ever does but only when I'm leaving. That simple act of hers is what always strengthened me to keep fighting, not for myself but for her. Its what assures me that I don't live for only myself but for the both of us.

Warm tears escaped my eyes as I pulled back but I turned away immediately so she wouldn't see me cry.

"I love you mama, don't forget that" I wiped my face and turned back to face her. She visibly smiled which caused me to break down internally but I had to remain strong for her. I kissed her on the cheek again.

"Thank you" I mouthed to Kayla as I stood to my feet. She nodded in acceptance and I walked away, not being able to look back. It was always the same routine, leaving without looking back because if I did I wouldn't leave.

I sighed as the breeze hit me from all angles. Bracing myself, I begun to walk home which was just about twenty minutes away.

Now that everything had come to an end with Zayn, I needed to find a job because I still needed to keep up with the expensive bills for my mother's care. I wanted the best for her and since I could afford it a while back, I intend to keep doing so.

As I walked, I spotted a new pub, fancy looking that caught my eyes. I walked towards it, my goal being to ask for a job. If I was going to keep up with my mother's medical bills, I needed to get a well paying job.

The bouncer eyed me from head to toe distastefully but I couldn't blame him, I did look like a lost and helpless puppy.

"Sorry I can't allow you in, there's a special dress code that's known as presentable" He blatantly insulted me but no offence was taken.

"No I'm here to look for a job" I informed him which only gave him more room to insult me.

"We don't hire nuns here miss" He chuckled, this time finally sparking my anger. If only he knew the things I've done, things I'm not proud of, things I wish I could erase.

I frowned, glaring at him and he immediately dropped his amused smile.

"Who are you to look down on me? Does your job suck that much that you decide to play with the feelings of other people for fun? People like you for that matter" I pointed out angrily. I admit I did look like a nun in a long skirt and a loose blouse along with a beige coat but there is nothing wrong with that. Can't a woman be comfortable? Besides I'm not worthy to be compared to such clean and pure women.

He looked very ashamed and without waiting for a reply, I turned around and begun to walk away.

"Wait" His voice stopped me. I turned, my lips in a thin line. "Walk that way and take the first door on your left, it's the back door" He added. Without smiling, I nodded and begun to walk where he had directed.

"Oh and I'm sorry" He called which caused me to roll my eyes and smile but I didn't turn back.

The door at the back led me to a dimly lit room, I could see parts of the pub from there which caused my mouth to drop to the floor. I attempted to walk in further when a frame blocked my path.

"Who are you?" An auburn haired girl asked as she looked at me in confusion.

"Hi I'm Muna" I greeted extending my right hand but she looked at it with a scrunched nose and ignored it.

"What are you doing here?" She interrogated me.

Her attitude stank, just from the way she talked alone.

"I'm looking for a job?" I answered her with a question but only because I was unsure of how to go about it. She rolled her eyes, folding her arms.

"Well then go look somewhere else cause we aren't hiring" She sassed and without giving me the chance to reply she walked away.

I huffed. Time wasted.

"Did Mr Thompson hire you?" The bouncer asked when I walked out. I shook my head no and he muttered something about my clothes being the problem at which I scowled at him.

"I didn't even get to meet the Thompson guy you are talking about, some redhead bimbo didn't let me ev-" I explained but he cut me off along the line.

"That's Kristen. She thinks she owns the place" He informed me with a smirk and I huffed.

Just f*****g great.

"Maybe you should come back tomorrow" He added and I just nodded not wanting to talk. I begun to walk away when he yelled out.

"The name's Nick" Without looking back I yelled back my name and disappeared into the cold night.

"How did it go?" Cheryl asked immediately I opened the front door.

"Same as always but I did miss seeing her" I sighed, flopping next to her. I threw my feet over her lap and she scrunched her nose in disgust at which I just rolled my eyes.

"I wish I could've tagged along" She said as she rubbed my feet. I threw my head back, enjoying her act of kindness.

"She would've loved to see you" I moaned out the words which caused her to chuckle. She continued putting her magical hands to work as I relished the feeling.

"I know, she adores me" She bragged, simply because once, just once mum held her hand. Something she had never done before. I rolled my eyes, secretly jealous, wishing it could've been me.

"Yeah just shut up and massage my feet" I muttered, earning a playful glare from her.

"You t**t" She chuckled, continuing her massage.

"What took you so long anyways? You never stay long there." She inquired, like I live with her.

"I took it upon myself to make a quick stop for a job" I said, earning a hum from her.

"At the Sunset pub" I added and immediately the words left my mouth she stopped massaging me.

"Did you get it?" She asked with wide eyes and I rolled my eyes. She can be overly dramatic sometimes.

"Nope" I said popping the p.

"I'm not surprised" She muttered and I glared at her. Did she just blatantly call my incompetent? She shrugged giving me the 'what' look.

"What? Their expectations are really high there, they aren't one of the best for no reason. Believe me when I say he literally asked me for a bartender certificate" She mused.

"The Thompson guy?" I asked and she nodded.

"Yes him.. was he the one you met?"

I shook my head no and she visibly relaxed.

"Some b***h that apparently thinks she owns the place didn't even let me in" I grumbled.

"Lucky" She sighed, was she crazy? How am I lucky for not getting a chance even?

She read my expression and shrugged "...No one wants to meet Nicholas Thompson" She exaggerated, throwing her hands up in the air and I laughed.

What would I do without her?