Hiding from the Alpa

Chapter 4:

Connor:

    "I, Charlotte Dupuis of Summer Moon Pack, accept your rejection."

    Pain lances through me. What have I done? Her words bounce around in my head in a confusing jumble of words that somehow connected, but not in any way I can decipher.

    Her sister?

    Sudden understanding slams into me, and Annie is the daughter of Alpha Samuel, and apparently, so is     Charlie.

    I am so stupid.

    I have a royally messed up. The reality of her rejection hits hits home, and I feel something pivotal in me snap like a bone. I fall to the ground in pain, writhing back and forth clutching my chest.

    I feel so empty, like there is a gaping and bleeding whole in me that only my mate can fill. I reach for Charlie, still able to sense her presence on the flood beside me, but unable to get to her. Her moans of agony echo my own and the sound fills my ears more than her sister's screams that echo throughout the    pack house.

    Through the painful nothingness that permeates my body, I feel Charlie get up off the ground and move away from me. I groan for her, calling her name, but she just gets farther away.

    I start to panic when I realize I can't feel her in the room with me anymore. I drag myself to my feet, partially shifting so my claws can dig into wall and drag myself up onto unsteady feet. I feel like I’ve run a marathon, or maybe climbed Mount Everest using nothing but my bare hands. Every ounce of energy in me feels sucked out of myself. Nevertheless, I push myself off the wall and stumble across the room and into the outside door frame. I sniff the air, hating myself because her scent is less strong now than it would’ve been before.

    Before I rejected her

    Before I humiliated her

    Before I left her alone in the woods, hurting like I hurt now.

    Before I kissed her sister.

    The stairway and the adjoining room are filled with pack members and Alphas alike, some simply curious, and some with their claws extended and bodies tightly coiled, waiting for whatever threat has Annie screaming at the top of her lungs. I don’t care enough to notice who is there and who is missing; all     I care about is finding her.

    I have to find her.

    I push myself through the door frame and move toward the tree line, trying to shift so that I can use my enhanced senses to track her down. If I can find her before she leaves the territory, maybe I can convince her to take me back.

    I strain and fight, and my wolf shows up in a painful shred of limbs and fur, teeth and blood. It is the most painful shift I have ever experienced, and I scream out. It's like my wolf is fundamentally broken now, like his entire life purpose was to love our mate, and now he has nothing.

    I call her name and try to catch any infinitesimal glimpse of her.

    I call for her over and over, until my voice is sore and raw. I know she’s in a wolf form and I pray to the moon goddess that she is not faster than me, or better at hiding than I am at seeking.

    I am frantic, running in circles until I find what she's looking for: A single paw print, pressed a little too deeply into the mud to be undetectable.

The direction of the print tells me where she’s going and I frantically take off in the direction of the Southern border. My wolf gains a burst of energy, and I I use it to its fullest, begging to the moon goddess to let me get her in time.

    To let me reverse this.

    To let me get her back.

    I catch a glimpse of red ahead of me, and I launch forward, snapping with my teeth and catching her ruddy tail. I pull, whipping her body back from the border that outlines the change in territory, and she yelps in pain, surprise, and anger.

    Twisting back quickly, she slashes at my face her paw, catching my forehead just above my eye and dragging down. I protect my face and pull her to the ground by her tail. Swinging her paw again, she barely misses me, and I take the chance to get on top of her, pinning her to the ground. She whimpers and growls and fights me like someone afraid of dying, and it breaks my heart that she thinks I could hurt her.

    Because I have hurt her.

    I hate myself.

    I try to mind link to her, to force my thoughts into her head so she can hear me and my side of the story.     I need to make her give me another chance, or even just understand what was going on in my head when I rejected her. It feels like I’m hitting a brick wall in my mind, and my heart, the last time pieces of it, drops to my stomach as I realize that I can’t mindless to link to her.

    I am not her pack, I am not her Alpha. I am not her mate anymore. All I am is someone desperate to get to her, desperate to have her forgiveness and her smile and her in my life. As if she can feel my desperation and my distraction, Charlie makes a well-placed blow beneath my throat with her teeth and throws me off. By the time I regain my footing she is already crossed over out of her territory. As an Alpha,     I can’t cross over into another territory without an invitation, and the risk of unnecessary war is barely enough to prevent me from breaking every rule in the book to get to her.

    Instead, I watch her walk away from me until I see nothing but the spaces where she used to be.