Behind a facade

12.

The brightness was unbearable to Tessa’s half-opened eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut while rubbing her forehead. After trying for some time Tessa attempted to open her eyes again. Her eyelashes felt heavy compared to other days, and those fought against her willpower of opening eyes fiercely. A terrible headache hit Tessa as soon as she opened her eyes, making her let out a groan. She ended up forcing her vision to get used to the surrounding.

Tessa was startled to see a figure next to her bed. Dark shades prevent her from seeing the face of the figure at first glance. When she realized her mother is the one who is sitting on a chair next to her bed, Tessa’s drowsiness vanished within a second. The grim look on Elizebeth’s face was enough for Tessa to understand something is wrong. It indirectly told Tessa that she has done something wrong. That misstep has provoked Elizabeth Brown until she visits Tessa's room in the early morning.

“Good morning mom,” Tessa forced a smile, straightening her upper body.

“Seems like you finally woke up, Miss Brown,” Elizabeth growled. Those words carried an eerie sarcasm that was able to give goosebumps to Tessa. “Get ready quickly and come down. Your father and I need to talk to you,”

Tessa gulped while climbing out of the bed. “Mom is something….”

“Tessa Brown!” Elizabeth raised her voice, walking out of the room. There was a fierce warning in her gaze. “Don’t make me repeat,”

The entire time she was taking a shower and getting ready, Tessa tried to remember what has happened last night. She could guess that her parents’ anger has something to do with her behaviour last night. Unfortunately, her memory was foggy. It became messier when she tried hard to remember the events that had happened the previous day.

She cursed the person who spiked the punch.

Usually, Tessa was careful about everything, including drinking. She always manages not to exceed the limit, knowing how strict her parents can be. When it comes to the previous night, even Tessa couldn’t understand what happened or how she got drunk. Making it worse, she couldn’t remember anything properly.

After half an hour, Tessa silently sits down at the table. She took a sneak peek at her parents, who are glaring at her.

“Tessa Brown… what were you thinking last night, ah?” Paul Brown narrowed his eyes, making Tessa want to escape from the room. The Brown family jury never did justice for her.

“Dad… I… I… can’t remember…”

“Oh… you can’t remember,” Paul cut in. His nostrils flared. “This is ridiculous and shameful,”

“…..”

“Do you even know how you came home last night, Tessa?” Elizabeth questioned, shaking her head from side to side. The disappointment was expressed through all of her behaviours.

Tessa lowered her head and drew her lower lip between her teeth. She again miserably tried her best to remember something from last night before she got drunk. “I assume Brian… I mean….”

“You assume what?”

“Mom…”

“You were drunk Tessa Brown… you were completely out of yourself,” Paul roared. “On top of that, you came home with that abominable girl,”

“I know…. I know… I am sorry, I didn’t mean to get drunk…. wait, what girl?” it took a few seconds for Tessa to catch up to her father’s words.

Paul and Elizabeth shared a glance. Their faces twisted with disbelief. The tension in the room trapped Tessa, building an unsettling dilemma inside her with every passing second.

“I can’t even believe this… Elizabeth why don't you try to enlighten this troublesome daughter of ours?”

Elizabeth glared at Tessa for a few seconds without saying a single word. She folded her arms, making a nasal sound. “You came with that Kent girl,”

“Dakota!” Tessa gasped. It was the last name Tessa expected to hear at a moment like this. Dakota Kent was with her last night… How was that even possible? “Brian was supposed to give me a ride,”

“Oh… now Brian was supposed to do that,” Paul scorned.

“We told you not to get mixed up with that girl. Look at that obnoxious family. They are the sort of people you should keep your distance, ”

“Mom… at least listen to me,” Tessa clenched her hands.

As every time her parents do not even make an attempt to listen to her. How is she expecting them to understand her? They and their way of judging, have already exhausted Tessa in life. At this point, she was at her limits. She felt as if she is going insane, trying to cooperate with her parents’ unreasonable demands and always being the perfect girl in their dreams.

“Don’t raise your voice, Tessa,” Paul demanded. “You disappointed us,”

“You are grounded for the rest of the semester,” Elizabeth informed, with a fixed expression on her face.

Tessa stood to her feet, trembling with anger. She wanted to scream, but she restrain that impulse, knowing it will only extend her punishment. Yet she couldn’t hold back the frustration she felt.

“Seriously… Exactly what is the reason for grounding me? Is it because I was drunk or because of Dakota?”

During the weekend, Tessa didn’t bother to come outside of her room. The betrayal she felt was harsh enough for Tessa to distance herself from her parents and her friends.

On the bonfire night, she regretted coming to it. Brian’s behaviour was unbearable, as always. With the victory of the match, his attitude and behaviour became more pompous, until Tessa couldn’t stand it anymore. Listening to Ashley’s contemning comments and Maddison’s nonsense didn’t set Tessa’s mind at ease, either.

The self-pity started to rise inside Tessa during the whole bonfire event. It reminded her of the saddest truth in her life. There are many people in her life. She doesn’t lack parents, friends, a boyfriend or people who admire her. Though she is surrounded by all these people, she was always lonely. There wasn’t a single person in her life who could see Tessa as her. The real Tessa Brown was always invisible to everyone.

In the middle of living according to her parents’ extraordinary expectations, she had to kill her original self. Behind the shadows of so-called perfection, she had to bury her real feelings, happiness and dreams. Even though it made her extremely unhappy, she cared for her parents’ happiness coming through her sacrifices.

Sometimes she wondered how long she can fool herself as well as the rest of the world, living a life that she doesn’t like. At the end of the day, the only thing she received was a bunch of unhappy memories and pure exhaustion.

What disappoint her the most was how Brian brushed it off when she asked why he left her on bonfire night. She barely controlled the urge to cut the phone call.

“What do you mean, you thought I will find a ride?”

“Just relax T… why are you taking this too far?”

“Brian…” Tessa shrieked through the phone. “After what you have done, you are telling me that I am acting up!”

“Jesus Tessa… why are you making a big deal out of this? Okay, I am sorry,” the insincerity in Brian’s voice hurt Tessa. She was glad that Brian couldn’t see her pathetic face at the current moment.

“You know what Brian… just forget it. Why would I even call you!”

“You don’t have to take this to heart, baby. I’ll make it up to you,” Brian’s voice came through the phone. “What matters is, you somehow reached home. Isn’t it?”

Tessa couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Disappointment, disgust, aching self sympathy and sadness sprouted a rage inside her. The words strangled in her throat. She cut the phone call and let tears roll down her cheeks.

.............................................................

“Did I ask you to take me home?” Tessa shouted, glaring at Dakota, who is looking at her with wide eyes.

When Tessa saw Dakota and Ryker who are walking down the other side of the street on Sunday evening, she couldn’t control her inner frustration. She wanted to blame someone for her agony. She stormed out of the house and crossed the road at immense speed, reaching where the Kent siblings were.

“What?’’ Dakota’s forehead creased.

“I asked, did I ask you to take me home, Dakota Kent?”

Dakota shook her head from side to side with an indifferent face, making Tessa furious. Her impassive attitude took away the last drop of patience in Tessa.

She took another step closer to Dakota and glared at her. “Answer me!!! What the hell you were thinking? Did I ask for your help? Did I? No, right? What is your problem?”

“First of all, I don’t understand why are you shouting at me, Tessa Brown. Second, If you want to yell go somewhere and do that,” Dakota replied with the usual calm nature of hers.

“You have no idea what trouble you have caused for me,” Tessa clenched her jaws.

“Did I? When?” Dakota narrowed her eyes.

“Indeed. Why the hell are you with me in front of my house?”

“Oh… excuse me, girls,” Ryker stepped between them. His concerned gaze shifted from Dakota to Tessa and again from Tessa to Dakota. “Is there something wrong? Tessa, what happened?”

“Ryker… don’t,” Dakota prevented Ryker from talking and turned her attention towards Tessa. She looked calm as always, but her eyes were blazing with anger. “Instead of yelling at me, try to remember what was your state that night. You were out of your mind,”

Faint memories start to clear up in Tessa’s head suddenly because of Dakota’s words. Blurry memories she was struggling to clear up, slowly made their way to her senses.

Beautiful riverside under the moonlight, gentle breeze murmuring to her, warm brown eyes speaking to her soul, a soft touch consoling her... Tessa felt as if she lost all of her pride the previous night. She couldn’t remember clearly all of her behaviours, yet what she remembered even surprise Tessa at this point.

The overwhelming memories brought an unknown restless feeling to Tessa. Somewhere in her heart, she knew that she is also being unreasonable to Dakota. Her behaviour was exactly like her parents'. But she chooses to ignore it, remembering how her parents treated ended up blaming her because of Dakota’s unnecessary action.

“I’ll take care of it. In the future, stay away from me. I don’t need your help,” Tessa upbraided. “Even if I die, just don’t come near me,”

The next second, she witnessed a change in Dakota’s eyes.

“Fine,” Dakota sighed. “Let’s go, Ryker,”

Ryker slowly pushed Dakota forward while gesturing for her to walk forward. Then he directed a kind glance at Tessa.

“Do you know what is the problem between you two, Tessa?”

Tessa flashed a confused glance at Ryker who is with a mischievous smirk. “Who?”

“Who else...you and my sister,” Ryker chuckled. Tessa tried to understand whether he is teasing her or not. “One is talking too much, and the other one is not talking at all,”

Tessa rolled her eyes. She knew she can never win against Ryker when it comes to stating facts. “I don’t think we have anything to talk about,”

“You do. The things you guys trying to avoid talking about,”

“Haha... it’s funny,” Tessa replied sarcastically.

“I think it’s my time to leave,” said Ryker, responding to Dakota who is calling his name impatiently. He leaned a bit towards Tessa and curved his lips into an infectious smile. “Let me tell you something, Tessa. Don’t let your negative emotions take over you. If you let it happen, those negative emotions will take away all the best things in your life, okay?”

Tessa blinks her eyes saying nothing. She couldn’t show her anger or attitude to Ryker who felt like a caring older brother since their childhood.

Ryker who took a few steps towards Dakota’s direction suddenly turned around. “By the way, Tessa... Try to read between the lines. It will help you read my stupid sister like an open book,”

She ended up staring at the way the Kent siblings are leaving. Tessa couldn’t make sense out of Ryker’s weird words.