If You Kiss Me Like That

Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Gloria watched Ash dance with her brother. They were making silly moves and, as siblings tend to do, each one was trying to be sillier than the other. She had witnessed it in her own girls. She had experienced it with her own sister and brother. Always wanting to outsmart the other. It was a thing of the ages and no one who had a brother or sister could escape it.

“It’s good to see them like that,” Gloria said to Alan, who was sitting silently beside her, nursing a pint. She wasn’t one for long silences. Alan Cooper was the silent type, but Gloria had always known a way in with him: ask him about his offspring. “They’re having fun.”

Alan nodded. “I worry about Ash so much.” He slurred his words a little. It was getting near that time when most people in the room would be getting quite merry. Gloria had got used to it. It didn’t bother her anymore. And if it did, she left. “I wonder if she will ever land on her feet.”

“What does that mean, though, Alan?” Gloria asked. “Landing on your feet?” Look at me, Gloria thought. Surely, her friends would consider her to have landed on her feet, even though it had taken her years to find some sort of balance after George died. “You don’t necessarily need to be with someone to be happy. Some people prefer to be alone.”

“Well, yes, I accept that.” Alan peered into his pint. “But having to go through a divorce. I just wish she hadn’t experienced that. It’s a vile business.” He expelled some air. “Charlotte is such a lovely girl. I just don’t see why they couldn’t make it work.”

“We can’t all be as lucky as you and Mary,” Gloria quipped.

“I thought Mary and I had set a good example.” He sipped from his pint again. Gloria was beginning to see where Ash got her wallowing-when-drunk streak from. “Clearly, we didn’t do a good enough job.”

“Cheer up, Alan. Look at her.” Gloria waved a hand at the dance floor. “She’s doing fine. We could spend all our time striving to spare our children from heartache, but the truth is we can do no such thing. No one is spared, Alan.”

“But she’s in her forties now.” He let his gaze rest on his children. Ash and Adrian were still at it on the dance floor. They tried to involve more people, but everyone seemed reluctant to join them.

“So? I’m in my fifties and my mother still hasn’t given up hope.” She bumped her elbow into Alan’s arm.

At least she got a chuckle out of Alan. “Never give up hope.”

Gloria cast her gaze back at the dance floor. Ash was wearing skinny jeans and a really tight floral shirt. While she excelled in goofy dance moves, her brother had much more natural rhythm. However, Ash didn’t seem to care one bit about that. She danced as if no one was watching. Until she spotted that Gloria was looking at her. She waved, then mouthed, “Come here.” Gloria couldn’t hear, but the beckoning gesture Ash made with her hands was unmistakable.

“Go dance, Gloria,” Alan said. “Go have fun.”

“I think I just might.” Gloria’s legs were getting stiff from all the sitting down she’d been doing all night. She shuffled onto the dance floor and joined Ash and Adrian.

“Christ,” Adrian said, when the song ended. “I’m the father of two children. I can’t be doing this anymore. I give up, Ash. You win.” He sank down in a chair.

“Just you and me now, Gloria,” Ash said.

Gloria couldn’t fault the DJ, one of Ash’s cousins, for trying a different strategy to fill the floor. Yet, she didn’t immediately know what to do when she recognised the intro of Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight”.

“What do you say?” Ash held her arms wide. “Will you dance with me?”

“It would be my pleasure.” Gloria stepped closer. “I’ll lead, though.”

“Will you now?” Ash put her hands on Gloria’s shoulders. She was a little shorter than Gloria, but not that much. Gloria rested her hands on Ash’s hips. They started to gently sway to the lazy beat of the song.

Gloria was having none of that millennial slow-dancing. If she was going to lead, she was going to do it properly. “Just follow my lead,” she whispered in Ash’s ear.

“Yes, boss.” Ash shot her a grin. “Take it away.”

Ash was a little unsteady on her feet, but she did a good enough of job of following Gloria, who was used to manoeuvring much larger bodies in her day job, although not around a dance floor.

When she looked around, Gloria noticed, for the first time, that the DJ’s strategy had worked. They weren’t the only twosome on the dance floor. They were the only two women dancing together, though.

“I know I’m a really s**t dancer,” Ash shouted in Gloria’s ear. “I take after my dad in many respects.”

“You’re doing just fine.” Gloria held Ash a tad closer. She could feel her hip bones jutting into her flesh. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling.

“I hope you’re not going back to London tonight.”

“God no. I’m staying with Mum and Dad,” Ash said. “I might even stay for the weekend. Not much waiting for me back home.”

“I’m sure you have a busy social life.” Their faces were so close together, Gloria couldn’t actually make out any of Ash’s expressions. “Or at least a date to go on.”

“I’m so done with dating,” Ash said. “Did you… ever date again?”

The question threw Gloria. She took her time to reply. “I tried, but it never really worked out.”

“How come?” Ash pressed herself into Gloria’s embrace.

“I don’t know. I guess…” Gloria slowed their pace. “No one ever really lived up to my expectations again. Maybe I was expecting a second George and of course there was only ever one of him, so I made it impossible.” Gloria had thought about this a lot and this was the only possible conclusion she could draw. She had gone out with a few decent men. One of them, his name was Richard, had been very dashing—much more handsome than George, if you could look at that sort of thing objectively—but she’d never felt that spark again. She’d never been interested enough to allow anyone new into her life in that way.

“I figured it must have been down to you,” Ash said. “A woman like you… surely a line of men would be queuing up all the way around your house.” Gloria couldn’t see, but she could hear the smile in Ash’s voice. A bead of sweat trickled down her spine. Gloria wasn’t much of a blusher, but if she were, her cheeks would have coloured at Ash’s comment.

“The same could be said of you.” She quickly turned the tables on Ash. As much as Gloria loved a chat, she didn’t like to get too personal. “All the lesbians in the land must be throwing themselves at you.” She felt Ash’s body convulse against her hands as she burst into a giggle.

“Of course,” Ash said. “Every single last one of them.”

Gloria laughed with her. She tried to picture Charlotte, but she couldn’t remember if she had ever seen her. She hadn’t been able to go to the wedding; the reason why escaped her. Mary must have shown her pictures—she used to be the type to organise a viewing party to show off her holiday snaps—but, for the life of her, Gloria couldn’t recall.

The song ended and they stepped away from each other.

“Thank you for this dance.” Ash curtsied. “It’s easily the best one I’ve had all night.” She winked at Gloria again and, just like the first time earlier that night, it gave Gloria pause. She watched Ash saunter off to the table where Mary was sitting, clearly uninterested in dancing any more. Gloria could do with a sit-down herself. Then she felt a tap on the shoulder.

“What do you say, Gloria?” Jim, Mary’s youngest brother, asked. “Shall we show them how it’s done?”

“Sure.” Gloria gave him a smile. Out of the corner of her eye, she looked at Ash, and saw her looking back at her.

Jim took the lead and twirled them around the dance floor. They exchanged pleasantries and Gloria tried to give him her full attention, the way she had done during the previous dance with Ash. But it seemed to her she had little attention left to give. Either she was tired—or she’d spent it all on Ash.

The sensation of being led around the dance floor by a man was nice enough. It even brought back some memories of better days. George loved to dance. At any party, he’d be on the floor from the first song to the last. And Gloria had adored dancing with him. They’d regularly danced in their living room. Often, without any music to guide them. George would scoop her up and draw her near and they’d sway to an imaginary beat, one that only they could hear. No wonder Gloria had never fallen for another man again. She couldn’t picture hearing that soundless beat with anyone else but George.

As she spun around, Gloria’s gaze caught Ash again. She was still eyeing her. Or maybe she was just looking at the goings-on on the dance floor. No. Her glance was solidly aimed at Gloria. Gloria could feel it, the way you can feel someone looking at you even when your back is turned to them.

On the next go-around, Ash smiled at her, taking away any doubts Gloria might have had about the direction of her gaze. Gloria swung her hips extra fancifully when she had her back turned to Ash. She didn’t really know why. It was just something she felt like doing in the moment.