A Love To Die For

Chapter 2

I’m embarrassed to admit that I haven’t stopped crying all weekend. Luckily, I had this weekend booked off work, thinking that I would probably be having fun with my friends. Instead, I have spent all weekend locked in my bedroom, unable to bear even the thought of being around people right now. The only person to have noticed my misery, is Bobby, but I don’t like him seeing me upset. I did the best I could to put a smile on my face for him. My heart aches, and I hate that Jacob and Bianca have done this to me. Everything is ruined now; nothing will ever be the same again. They have both been calling and texting me all weekend, but I ignored them, unwilling to listen to their pathetic ‘I was drunk’ excuses.

When I woke up this morning, I decided that the beginning of this week would mark a new beginning for me. Despite the fact that I probably have no more tears left to cry, I don’t want Jacob or Bianca to think that they have that kind of power over me. Hence, I put on my favourite jeans and my favourite cardigan and decided to do something that I have been looking forward to for a long time. Being 17 now, I can apply for my unrestricted licence, which means that I will be able to drive without one of my parents in the car.  I have dreamt of such freedom since I got my learner’s permit, I just always imagined that Bianca would be here with me when it happened.

Releasing a long sigh, I open my bedroom door and leave the isolated misery behind me.

“Nina! You’re up!” Beams Bobby as I enter the kitchen.

“I’m up.” I smile, glad that someone is happy to see me.

“What’s going on with you, anyway?” Asks my Mother, a perplexed expression on her face.

“Nothing. I’m heading into town for a while.”

“Fine, but we need you to watch Bobby tonight, your Dad and I will be out for the evening.”

“Great, can’t wait.” I chime, smiling over my shoulder at Bobby as I leave the kitchen.

Checking that I have what I need in my backpack, I go outside and retrieve my bicycle from the garage. The fresh air feels cool and soothing on my red and puffy face. Looking forward to my cycle into town, I take off and enjoy the breeze through my hair as I gain speed.

---

Thankfully, there weren’t many people in the DMV, and I was able to get in and out in less than an hour. It was a satisfying feeling to do something like that alone, it left me feeling quite grown up. The sun is shining today, and I still have a while until I need to be home for Bobby, so I decide to take a ride around town.

Everyone that lives here is super friendly, and they all smile as I cycle by. After spending some time in the town square, I decide to cycle down to the bay. Listening to the water has always been able to calm me during tough times, and though I am feeling better now than I have all weekend, I know that the heartache isn’t over yet. I lean my bike against the rails, take off my shoes and walk into the sand. When I reach the last stretch of dry sand, I sit down and close my eyes, listening to the world around me. The warm rays of the sun caress my face, the gentle breeze causing my hair to blow and tickle the back of my neck. Sitting here, my problems don’t seem too bad, there’s a lot more to life than a high school boyfriend cheating on me. It actually hurts more that it was Bianca who Jacob cheated on me with. The fact that my best friend would do something like that is the hardest part of this to believe.

My phone rings, taking me out of my peaceful reverie. I groan and roll my eyes when I see that it is Jacob ringing me, yet again. Why can’t he get the picture? I just do not want to talk to him. It actually makes me a little mad that he would be so pushy when he is the one to have done wrong by me. He should at least respect me enough to give me some space. If he thinks he can talk his way out of this, then he can think again.

After my peaceful moment was interrupted, I couldn’t rest my mind like I had previously. I keep reliving my birthday over and over again; feeling that pain build up in my chest. I stand from the sand and wipe myself down with an annoyed huff. Of course, Jacob would ruin the first calm moment I was having.

My stomach grumbles loudly, protesting over the lack of food that I have provided it with. I have barely eaten all weekend, only picking at the small things that Bobby would bring me. I get back on my bike and decide that a nice meal and some time with my little brother is what will make me feel better again.

I take my time in riding home, still enjoying the scenery and atmosphere of the day. However, it seems that I didn’t take long enough. Waiting for me on the doorstep when I got home was Jacob, a sad and sorry look in his eyes. I can feel the blood leaving my body as I look at him. My mouth goes dry and my heart begins to rattle inside my chest. I don’t want to see him or talk to him; I don’t know what to say.

I roll my eyes to show my disdain and stride into the garage to park my bike, hoping that Jacob won’t follow me. Unfortunately, he ignores the clues I was giving him and walks into the garage behind me. This room has never felt as small and as suffocating as it does now. I want more than anything to get out of here, get out from under Jacob’s gaze. I don’t want to look into his eyes. I’m scared that seeing the green eyes that I have loved will weaken me. I don’t want to be weak; I need to be strong.

“Nina, please can we talk?” He asks, using his most innocent voice.

“I have nothing to say, Jacob. What’s done is done, I don’t see why we need to discuss it.”

“Because it was a mistake, Nina. I love you; you know that!”

“I thought I did, now I’m not so sure, Jacob. People don’t cheat on the person they love.”

“You know I’m not like that, I was just…”

“Please! Do not say that it’s because you were drunk. I don’t want to hear those pathetic excuses.” I yell, fed up with this conversation already.

“Nina, please. I can’t lose you, please.”

“You already have. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go.”

I walk past Jacob and return to the openness of the garden. I breathe in a deep breath of the fresh air, realising how hot and flushed I am. Jacob follows me, but I don’t look back at him while I walk to my front door. If he doesn’t get the message now, then he never will. I walk inside and close the door, catching a small glimpse of Jacob staring my way, his eyes watery and his lip twitching. For a moment, I feel guilty, but then I remember how much time I have spent crying over this. It’s not my fault that this has happened, it’s his, and Bianca’s, it’s only right that they should feel some remorse.

I can hear my Mom complaining about something in the living room, so I escape while I can, running up to my bedroom and closing the door behind me. I slam my face into my pillow and scream as loud as I can. I can’t deny that I am still hurt, that I would give anything for things to go back to normal, but they can’t. Jacob and Bianca were the two people that I trusted the most, my best friends. They were my escape from the bad times in this house, they were my second family. Now, all I have is this one, and sometimes it feels like Bobby is the only person here that loves me. Maybe I can move schools, or just move towns. I can only imagine all of the gossip that will be going around when we go back to school. I can already hear the whispers in the hallways, the stares from people that don’t even know me. The thought alone fills me with dread. I curl up into myself and allow some more tears to fall.

“Nina, what’s wrong? Why are you so sad?”

I hadn’t even heard Bobby coming inside. I clumsily wipe my tears away, and try my best to smile, but I can’t, not even for Bobby.

“Hey, Bobby. It’s nothing, don’t you worry about a thing.” I reply.

“I know there’s something wrong, Nina. I’m not a baby anymore, you can tell me things, you know. I’m ten now!”

I pull Bobby into a hug and smile against the top of his head. How can someone be this adorable?

“Ok, well, since you’re such a big boy now, I guess I can tell you, but you can’t tell Mom and Dad, OK?”

“My lips are sealed.” He says, making a locking gesture over his mouth.

“Jacob and I have broken up, so I have just been feeling a little sad about that.” I sigh.

“Oh, why?”

“He just did something that hurt me, you don’t need to know the details, kiddo. Don’t worry though, I’ll be just fine.”

“Do you want to have a movie night tonight?” Smiles Bobby, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You know what? I don’t think there is anything else in the world that I would like more.”

“Awesome! Mom and Dad will be leaving soon. I’ll go get our den set up and pick a movie. You can make the popcorn after, right?”

“Right. I’ll be down soon.” I smile, feeling a little better.

Bobby skips towards the door, excited about our movie night. Since he was little, we have always had movies nights together, just the two of us. We make a den out of the pillows from the couches and some blankets. We eat popcorn until our lips are sore from the salt, and more times than not, we both end up falling asleep in our makeshift fort.

“Bobby.” I call before he closes the door behind himself.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for listening. I love you.”

“Love you too. Just remember, I’m not a baby anymore!”

He slams the door and I can hear him running down the stairs. I change into my pyjamas and tie my hair up. I go to the bathroom and splash my face with some more cold water, but the puffiness around my eyes still hasn’t disappeared. Going back to my bedroom, I hear my phone beeping. I have a text message from Bianca. Knowing that I won’t reply, I open it anyway.

“Nina, it’s really killing me not being able to talk to you. I know that what I did was the worst thing ever, and I am so sorry. Please forgive me. You’re my best friend and I can’t lose you.”

I roll my eyes for what feels like the millionth time today. For two people that ‘can’t lose me’, they sure as hell didn’t seem to think about that when they had their tongues down each other’s throats.

“The Den is ready, Nina. Come on!” Shouts Bobby.

“I’m coming.”

I throw my phone on my bed. Nothing is going to take away from movie night with Bobby.