Tormented By My Jilted Alpha Mate

SCREWED BY FATE

Sienna's POV

Thick dark hair, sharp jawline, piercing ice-blue eyes. Tall, broad, powerfully built.

Maybe now you know what I am dealing with.

Maybe now you know why I am week in the knee as he presses his lips hungrily against mine

But he is an enemy and I should hate him and we shouldn’t be doing this

So, just maybe you would understand why I blame the bond for the way my body is responding, when in actuality I subtly want him too

I know I should keep fighting.

But the bond won't let me. Seriously now.

Yeah, I know you understand.

It's like trying to hold back water with your bare hands. My hands are on his chest, shoving. He doesn't move. He pins my wrists above my head with one hand and my body is betraying me completely, softening and wanting more

"Stop," I gasp. I don’t mean it. I like the way he feels. I like the way his crotch bulges and dances against mine

He doesn't stop. Yeah, I don’t want him to.

He tears my dress.

“No…” I gasp, more out of want than out of decline.

He rips the fabric like my words aren't even sound. I like the sound of my skirt tearing. I like it when he crouches down and kisses my lick. Massaging, licking and then taking it all in like his life depends on it.

Damn! He is hot! He is so hot!

My wolf, Sisi, rises toward his wolf like something starved.

Bitch! She is embarrassing me, but I like it, even though we need to talk about loyalty

I stop fighting my feelings. I let him have me

He uses me and I use him too. That's the honest word for it. Honest.

I notice no tenderness. But I want none of that. We are feral. Violent.

I think he is punishing me for stabbing him. But is it really punishment if I do it back to him?

I am screaming.

The air smell of hot s*x.

He throws me to the bed

I throw him back

Goddess what am I doing with an enemy!

Fuck!

Now he is on top of me. His rod is wriggling towards like a big bad snake.

What would this feel like? I haven’t done this before, but I want it.

How can I want what I haven’t tasted before?

I don’t know, but the desire is intense

I heard it can be though at first

I close my eyes and I take it.

Ah…

Ah…

I think they lied

They all lied

This… this is heaven.

I f*****g love it!

I love the feel, the rhythm, the way his balls slap cold against my entrance.

Then I hear it.

"Elena,” he moans, ramming into me like a raging bull.

He says that name, almost reverent. Like he forgot I was here entirely.

My whole body goes still.

I know who Elena is. I've pieced her together from the ghost she left behind in this room. Former mate. The woman who chose his brother. The wound she left that made him into whatever he is now.

He's thinking about her. Right now. While he's with me.

Something in me that was already cracked just breaks clean through.

I was a princess. I survived things that would have destroyed other wolves. I kept something sacred, something private and small and just mine, through years of Reaver's cruelty. I didn’t even give it to Reaver when he asked

And this man takes it without even noticing. Without even being present for it.

I never imagined that my virginity would be taken with another woman’s name

He says her name again. “Elena…”

I don't make a sound. Not one sound. I press my lips together and I stare at the ceiling and I think about Lily because that's all I have left. That's the only thing that still makes sense. I should go, but no. I start to enjoy it again and I stay…

I stay till… ahhhh… I feel a quaking in my body. I groan and grind against him. My eyes roll back. I think he feels a quaking too… he shakes, almost like he is having a seizure. Is this what it looks like for he-wolves?

“Elena…” that god-damn name again

This one breaks me completely. I heard it is called, post-c*m clarity. I am disgusted with myself. I stayed when I should I’ve pushed him off for moaning another woman’s name when he was with me, his mate! I f*****g stayed through it all.

When it's over, he pulls back like I burned him. Looks at me like I'm a disgusting problem. He throws a sheet at me.

I flinch when it lands.

I don't move to pull it over myself. My arms won't cooperate. I just lie dear, numb. What have I done to myself? Have I no self-respect?

He goes to the bathroom. I hear water running. He's washing me off his skin. I imagine how irritated he must feel.

The bond sits in my chest like a stone now. I hate it. I wish I could just rip it off my chest. But now it is permanent. Already feeding me what he feels. Detachment. Irritation. Something underneath that I don't have the energy to identify.

The tears come. I keep them silent. I turn toward the wall and I let myself break just for tonight, just until I can pull myself back together, because tomorrow is survival and Lily needs me functional.

Tonight I fall apart quietly where no one can hear it.

I let rush out of my eyes. I cannot remember the last time I cried.

***

Morning.

He's dressed before I'm fully awake. I sit up slowly. I got a few my stomach wound know

He sees me stir. Sees when I sit up, but he doesn’t say anything.

There is something I have come to understand, when a man acts like he doesn’t give a s**t, he doesn’t actually give a flipping s**t.

I need to leave. I cannot stay here anymore.

But for some reason, I am so hesitant. I yearn for his voice. I just want him to explain what happened yesterday. Why was he calling her name?

I am foolish, I know. It doesn’t need to explain s**t to me. Everything is clear as day, he is still in love with his ex and I am just another woman who he is unfortunate enough to be mated to

"Kade…" I swear that is my wolf Sisi. She is still f*****g gobsmacked about the bond that she cannot even maintain decorum.

"It is Alpha to you."

I feel Sisi recoil painfully. I drop my gaze. "Alpha Kade." I pause.

“Last night meant nothing. It was just the mate bond. Animal instinct. The bond needed to be completed or it would have driven us both insane."

Animal instincts? Very convenient. I feel tears stinging in my eyes. I should leave. I should leave and never come back here. It is never going to love me. But Sisi is not satisfied "Who is Elena?"

He looks at me like I just asked him something deeply offensive. "Why should I explain myself to you?"

"You said her name," I say flatly. "While you were with me."

A tear drops. Why!? Why am I doing this to myself? I always imagined my bonding to be warm and lovely. Somebody deserving of me at least. I do not want to fight for love, but it seems it is my destiny right now

He watches it fall. Something moves across his face.

Then he erases it.

"You thought about her. While you were… f*****g me" anothe tear drops

“I am glad you said ‘f*****g,’ not making love or any other weird thing…” he chuckles. “ You know, I prayed to the moon goddess that I be mated to a man… or Elena again…” he takes a few steps towards me. “You're just the cosmic joke the universe decided to play on me…” he is now at my level and he pulls my hair so I look him in the eyes.“You're still a servant. You’re still worthless. You still tried to murder me. The bond doesn't change that. You mean nothing to me. You are a woman and I hate women. Last night was just... scratching an itch, and your cunt felt really good for that."

It lands.

It feels like I just needed him to see it. I understand now. Nothing will come out of this relationship.

I let my face go blank. The tears dry up. I fold everything away into a quiet place inside me where nothing can reach it. I was done to think love is for me.

"Get dressed," he says. "My room needs cleaning."

I

look at him. I almost laugh. "You want me to clean."

"You're a servant. Act like it."