The Unfinished Vow

Chapter 8

Iris was warning Lucas, and she was warning herself too. She thought she might have imagined it, but when he let her go, his hands seemed to tremble. By the time she looked at his face, however, it had already settled back into that same unreadable mask. He stood there looking at her, saying nothing, just looking. She looked back at him the same way. She wanted to carve his face into her memory, because in that moment she had caught a glimpse of the Lucas who had once belonged to her. She did not know if he was thinking the same thing.

Then he turned to leave and said one word to her.

"Alright."

She knew he was answering what she had said to him earlier. She gave him a smile in return.

That was their goodbye.

That same night, Iris boarded a plane out of New York and flew to Texas. Texas held most of the memories she and Lucas had made together, and she began a journey of reunion, a reunion with the Lucas who lived in her memory.

She went to the Cathedral of San Fernando. Lucas had once told her that it was the best place to make a wish, that he had hung their love lock on the highest branch of the old oak tree in the courtyard, where God would be sure to see it. Iris did not know if God had ever seen it. Standing beneath that old oak now, she could not find the one that belonged to them, no matter how hard she searched.

"Madam. You're back."

The old voice came from behind her. Iris turned, startled, and saw Father Moreno of the cathedral.

"You remember me?"

"I do." His smile was kind. "You and your beloved left a deep impression on me. It must have been six or seven years ago now. Did the two of you marry?"

Iris shook her head. "He is marrying someone else."

Father Moreno remained serene. "People say this cathedral is blessed, and many come here every day to make their wishes. But not every wish is granted. And yet, what of it? As long as they were sincere at that moment, kneeling before the altar with their eyes closed and their hearts open, that was enough."

That was enough. Iris looked into the priest's wise and gentle eyes, and something struck her hard in the chest. Just then, a breeze stirred. She spotted the love lock with her name and Lucas' written on it. She rose slightly onto her toes and reached up, closing her fingers around it. The moment the metal pressed solid and real into her palm, the weight that had been pressing down on her heart all this time seemed to lift just a little.

She walked out of the Cathedral of San Fernando and turned back to look at the candle flames flickering on their stands inside. The sound of the evening bell washed over her. For a moment, the image of her and Lucas walking in, hand in hand, seemed to rise before her eyes again. Then it dissolved like smoke.

Iris looked away. She pulled up Lucas' contact on her phone and slowly pressed delete.

After that, she traveled all over the country. She went to every place she and Lucas had never gotten the chance to visit together, experiencing it all on her own. She stopped following anything that happened in New York. She heard no more news of Lucas. Even her contact with Warren grew sparse. Without quite noticing, she had severed herself entirely from New York and from the past.

But for some reason, even though she had been to so many places, when she tried to recall them later, not much stuck. Sometimes, after a long flight or a train ride, or even just from standing in the wind, her head would ache dully. When medication did nothing, she finally went to a hospital.

She was told, "You have Alzheimer's disease. You will gradually forget everything and everyone. This kind of memory loss is essentially irreversible."

The universe really was toying with her. First, it had thrown Lucas' resurrection at her feet, and now it had handed her some strange disease straight out of a drama, as if she were the lead character in a tragic script. She pressed the doctor again and again, asking if there was any chance the diagnosis was wrong. Every time, the answer was the same.

"No. Ms. Quinn, we have run your brain scans multiple times now. The results are consistent. I understand how difficult this is to accept, but please try to remain calm."

Iris did not remember walking out of the hospital. She only became aware again when she was standing in the biting wind and snow, staring at the test report flapping noisily in her hands. It hit her then. Another winter had already arrived.

'What is Lucas doing now? He is probably married already.'

She folded the report, tucked it into her pocket, and started to head back to her hotel.

Her phone buzzed. The string of numbers on the screen had no saved name, but she knew it instantly. It was Lucas. Her hand shook along with the vibration of the phone. She licked her cracked lips and slowly pressed answer.

"Hello?"

On the other end of the line, Lucas' voice came through, familiar and strange all at once, gentle.

"Come back to New York. Warren is dead."