Whose youth isn't capricious

Chapter 3: Heartbroken before Love

I was quite unhappy that Sister Lan laughed at me. Using a shanzhai phone, at least it was mine, and I didn't owe anyone anything. What right did she have to laugh at me?

I sneered and looked at her, saying, "Just keep laughing. There will come a time when you'll cry."

Sister Lan pursed her lips. She still wanted to laugh but held back a lot.

She said she just thought it was funny and didn't mean anything else, telling me not to be too sensitive.

In fact, I'm quite sensitive. I always think the worst of things, always afraid that others will look down on me, probably because my family is poor.

I sat on the lawn, not speaking, not knowing what to say either.

I missed Sister Lan and wished I could see her every minute. But when I actually saw her, I felt conflicted. I always wanted to quarrel with her. I guess I had a bit of a hatred - for - the - rich complex.

Seeing that I didn't say anything, Sister Lan stopped laughing. She leaned over and sat with me. "Are you angry?"

I turned my head away, a bit angry, and deliberately showing my anger to her.

"You're such a petty kid, not manly at all," Sister Lan pouted. Although she was older than me, she looked like a little girl at that moment.

I said I was very manly. She wasn't blind when I was playing basketball.

Sister Lan said seriously, "Well, you do seem manly when you're with boys. But when you're with girls, you're still petty and narrow - minded."

I said she was the narrow - minded one. Sister Lan retorted, "So what if I'm narrow - minded? I'm a woman. I'm naturally petty."

She was really unreasonable. When we first met, she seemed so gentle and noble. I never thought she could be so shameless and act like a rascal.

I asked her, "Why did you come to find me again?"

She looked at me, made a cute face, and said, "Of course, it's to return the phone. Weren't we going to settle things? I want to pay off this debt quickly so that we don't have to see each other again. You always make me angry."

I said, "Who exactly makes who angry? The villain sues first!"

"Heh, who's the villain? You even wanted to hit a girl. What a real man, what a great guy!" Sister Lan deliberately emphasized her tone to be sarcastic.

I said Xia Yu was the villain. I had never seen anyone as evil as her. She deserved to be hit. If she cursed me again in the future, I'd really hit her.

Sister Lan was furious. She pushed me hard and said, "How is Xia Yu evil? If she cursed you, couldn't you curse her back? Why did you have to resort to violence?"

I said she was Xia Yu's sister, and if I cursed Xia Yu, it would be like cursing her.

"That's true," Sister Lan nodded thoughtfully. Then she suddenly said, "Go ahead and curse. It won't hurt you. If you curse Xia Yu and we two curse you, wouldn't it be even?"

Me: ……

I stopped talking when Sister Lan spoke to me. A woman's logic is terrifying.

Just one word: unreasonable.

Damn! I'm so angry...

I ignored her, and she stopped talking too. We just sat there on the lawn.

The summer wind, warm and gentle, passed through the swaying grass, making the leaves rustle. The orange glow of the setting sun passed through the gaps in the trees, stretching the shadows of Sister Lan and me very long.

After that, many things happened between Sister Lan and me. We fell in love but then separated. We went through hardships and were tortured by life until we were bruised all over.

Whenever I was desperate, I would think of this moment: in the beautiful campus, we both maintained our original innocence, sitting quietly, enjoying the breeze...

After sitting for a long time, Sister Lan nudged my arm. "Hey, are you not angry anymore?"

In fact, I wasn't angry anymore, but I still couldn't bring myself to show it, so I didn't answer.

Sister Lan said again, "It's all trivial matters. It's in the past. Don't think about it anymore. Xia Yu has already forgiven you. Why are you still being so stubborn?"

As soon as she mentioned Xia Yu, I got angry again. What right did she have to forgive me? It wasn't my fault.

I said, "I'm not angry with you anymore."

"Hey? What do you mean by that? Why are you angry with me? What have I done to you?" Sister Lan immediately got worked up, looking extremely aggrieved.

I said I just wasn't angry with her anymore. As for some people who hurt my self - esteem, I couldn't forgive them.

Sister Lan immediately stood up, pointed at me, and said, "Why are you so stubborn? You don't listen to reason at all. You're making me so angry!"

I said, "How am I stubborn? If you're so angry, don't come to me. Did I beg you to come?"

"Fine, you said this. Here's the phone. We're done!" Sister Lan threw the phone to me and turned to leave.

The moment she turned around, I was actually a bit scared. But I didn't want to back down, so I said I didn't want this phone. It wasn't the brand of my original one.

I was trying to use this excuse to get a chance to meet Sister Lan again. But she was really angry and shouted, "Take it or leave it!" She didn't turn around again.

When she walked away, she limped. She seemed to have an injury on her foot. I hadn't noticed it before.

I quickly stood up and asked, "What's wrong with your foot?" She ignored me and walked forward stubbornly.

I ran over and asked with concern, "Sister, what exactly happened to your foot?"

Sister Lan looked at me coldly, her eyes moist. "What do you think? It's all because of your damn phone. I searched all over Haicheng but couldn't find your shanzhai phone. My foot is so swollen from all the walking!"

I wanted to laugh, but Sister Lan started crying weepily. I guessed she must hate me to death.

I quickly squatted down and was about to roll up her sock to check the injury. But Sister Lan kicked me hard. She was wearing high - heeled shoes with very sharp tips. When it hit my leg, it immediately scraped off a layer of skin.

It would be a lie to say it didn't hurt. It was burning and excruciatingly painful. Red blood started to flow out.

Sister Lan panicked and cried even harder. She asked me if it hurt.

I gritted my teeth, too painful to speak.

Sister Lan said she was sorry and that she didn't mean it.

Actually, she did mean it and used a lot of force.

I said, "Now you're satisfied, right? You got your revenge. I'll take the phone. You can leave. We're done!"

Sister Lan cried and took out a tissue to stop the bleeding for me. She said, "Xiaoyu, it's all my fault. I shouldn't have kicked you. Let me take you to the hospital."

I said I was a low - life and not that delicate. There was no need to go to the hospital.

I was angry with Sister Lan not because she kicked me, but because she blindly took Xia Yu's side. Clearly, it was Xia Yu's fault in that matter, but she kept saying I was in the wrong, that I was petty and not manly.

I limped back to the dormitory, and Sister Lan limped behind me.

I shouted at her, "We're done. Why are you still following me?"

Sister Lan was startled by me and stopped in her tracks. I just kept walking forward without looking back.

In fact, when Sister Lan kicked me, I thought a lot of things through. Because pain makes people rational.

I knew there was no possibility between me and Xia Lan.

First of all, she might not even like me. Maybe I was just being self - indulgent. Secondly, my family was too poor, and her parents surely wouldn't like me. And then there was Xia Yu. With her around, it was almost impossible for me and Sister Lan to be together.

Any one of these three reasons was like an insurmountable chasm for me.

So why should I still have illusions? It's better to give up early and live my own life. We're already done...

Back in the dormitory, I washed the wound with soap water and then got into bed, silently shedding tears.

Some people experience heartbreak even before they start a relationship. The cruel reality can make a person lose the courage to pursue someone else.

The image of Sister Lan lingered in my mind. The more I thought about her, the more my heart ached.

The love expert in the dormitory came back. I got out of bed, pointed to my chest, and said, "Love expert, it hurts here."

The love expert looked at me and asked if it was "a little pain" or "extremely painful".

I said "extremely painful".

The love expert then said, "You're definitely heartbroken."

I kicked the love expert again and shouted, "I haven't even started a relationship. How can I be heartbroken?"

The love expert patted his butt, thought seriously for a moment, and said, "My theory can't be wrong. You're really heartbroken."

In fact, I knew I was heartbroken, but I was just too ashamed to admit it.

I asked the love expert, "How can I make this pain in my chest go away?"

The love expert said deeply, "Time. Time can heal everything."

At that moment, I cried. I was afraid of forgetting Sister Lan, afraid that time would erase everything.

I climbed back into bed, hid in the covers, and sobbed. Holding the phone Sister Lan gave me in my hand, I really wanted to call her, but I hesitated to dial the number.

Reality had shattered my courage, making me give up on her and keep my distance. I thought that if I became successful in the future, and if I was still unmarried and she was still single, I would definitely pursue her desperately...

But Sister Lan probably wouldn't wait until that day.

Just thinking about her getting married made me feel like I was dying.

That night, I was in so much pain that I went out to a barbecue stand and drank a lot of wine. But my heart still ached. The more I drank, the more it hurt. In the end, I got completely drunk and almost crawled back to the dormitory.

When I woke up, it was already noon the next day. My head hurt terribly, and I had no strength at all.

I got out of bed, washed up, trying to make myself feel better, but I still felt like a dead dog, not interested in anything.

I took out that phone, gently kissed it, and stroked it, as if Sister Lan was right beside me.

At noon, the love expert brought me food and told me to eat something. Everything would pass.

I took two bites and then vomited them out. I had no appetite and didn't feel hungry.

In the afternoon, the love expert told me to go out for a walk to get some fresh air. It might make me feel better. I shook my head and lay back on the bed, looking dazed, as if I had lost my soul.

I lay there until evening. Loneliness and emptiness made me feel weak all over. I thought of the phone Sister Lan gave me and wanted to play with it to distract myself.

When I got out of bed, I found that the phone was gone. My heart sank. I clearly put it on the table. How could it disappear?

I rummaged through everything, almost turning the dormitory upside down, but I just couldn't find it.

I was scared to death at that time. That was the only memento Sister Lan left me, and I actually lost it.

Not being able to find the phone, I was almost desperate. Tears streamed down my face.

It seemed that Sister Lan and I were really destined to be apart...

In the evening, I went to the barbecue stand to drink again. I seemed to be addicted to the numbing effect of alcohol. Because only when I was asleep could I stop suffering.

Just as I ordered my drink and hadn't started drinking yet, I saw the show - off guy from our dormitory leading a girl to sit at a table not far from me.

He waved at me, but I wasn't in the mood to pay attention to him. He wasn't very popular. I was annoyed just looking at him showing off.

I drank and felt sad. I couldn't believe I had lost the phone!

I didn't care about the money, but that phone had a special meaning to me.

As I drank, I felt quite depressed. That show - off guy had even found a girlfriend, while I was here feeling so sad.

Feeling jealous, I deliberately glanced at them a few times. Then I suddenly noticed that the girl with the show - off guy was playing with a silver - white phone in her hand, exactly the same as the one Sister Lan gave me!