No face.

Maybe the beginning.

What do you think if we rewind a bit? I really like Lance, but he can be a little to much sometimes, so let's do this only one more time.

Ten years ago, I must have been about 20 years old, I had just started college in a state away from my home. As far along as I can remember I always struggled making friends, no, actually I had trouble making any kind of relationship, except for my sister. She never judge me for being weird, she laughed at my jokes, heard of my troubles, she was my best friend. The last time I saw her, was a month before starting college in a prestigious state, I always worried to much about being way over my head, but she assured me that I would do great things.  She had long dark hair, and used glasses, we met in a small cafeteria near the outskirts of our city. I was having trouble sleeping at night, I always had the overthinker trait, so I got anxious about being way over my head with the career that I had chosen.

Since junior high school, the first time I got to dissect a frog was eye opening, I could see myself doing this for the rest of my life, the thrill that passes through your head, as you concentrate so hard that your troubles melt away and your hand steadies so much that you can feel your pulse passing through every extremity of your body. I was good, they told me that I was the best student they had ever saw passing through the test of dissecting an animal. 

Since then my obsession for that sensation started growing every day, looking for weeks another dead animal so I'd be able of taking everything apart, I always saw it as a puzzle, one were you make a mistake and things stop making sense. 

After sometime investigating I found out about surgeons, I imagined myself doing the same with living humans, being able to take the parts that puzzled even the brighter doctors was like a dream come true, so before high school finished, I applied for a few programs all over the states. 

With my incredible curriculum, I got accepted for at least 5 of the 12, I had several choices, and that started affecting me daily, I tried choosing time and time again, but there wasn't anything that my head didn't doubt, so I eventually accepted rolling into one of them at random. 

Sadly, I had to leave everything behind, my life, my parents, my room, and my sister. It wasn't that big of a deal as she was six years older than me, but I would miss my best friend. By this time she didn't even live at the house anymore, she had a steady job and started forgetting us, but I let her be, it was her life after all.

So then we get back to the last time I saw her, she tried comforting me, but it wasn't working, eventually I started getting mad, so we had a small disagreement that eventually turned into one of the biggest discussions of my life, it got so bad that we got kicked of the cafeteria, I huffed and went the other way without looking back.

 I went to college as planned and passed my first two semesters in medicine, it was hard, but I was up to the challenge, and then at the half of the third trimester, I got that fatal call. My sister had disappeared without a clue 2 weeks ago, my heart broke, and I tried taking action. I talked to everyone in the administration department so I could take a few weeks to go back home, but my only chance was to wait until the end of the term so I wouldn't lose the year and had to pass everything again, so I waited. My grades started to decay, I felt guilty all the time, why the hell did I had to fight with her that last moment together? I was selfish, she had the right to have a life of her own, if she wanted to live elsewhere, have a job, or do whatever the hell she wanted, it was not my place to discuss it, just to accept it and support her, and in the end, what did I won? The satisfaction of knowing that my sister, my best friend, was probably dead in a ditch somewhere? Or that I pushed to a limit so bad she had the urge of escaping never to be seen again? That's when the issues sleeping got back, every time I closed my eyes I could see her disappointed face, and it was heartbreaking.

That's how we advance to three months later, I got kicked from school thanks to my awful grades that plummeted to the ground, getting back home was one of the hardest parts of my life, the sorrow that accompanied me clinging to my back was to much. I remember the last time that I saw my parents, ten years ago.

When I got home, I was more than willing to work with the detective in charge of the case, so I went to my parents house, when I arrived they were crying, they told me that their last hope of finding her, was the detective Lance Palmer, and that I just had missed how he walked away from the case without the slightest clue of what happened, if I had arrived 20 minutes earlier, I would have met him, maybe in discussing the case a little bit further he would have been able to figure out something. I was okay with my parents, when my dad suddenly said a thing while I was talking how my life in college went:

-Why did you had to leave?

-What?

-We always knew that your sister would do amazing things, so why did you had to leave trying to achieve something out of reach?

-So, let me see if I understood correctly, you are telling me that I'm a failure, and that I was supposed to stay home? Only to see my other sister prosper.

-You know that's not how I meant it.

-Well, i don't need to be a genius to understand what you meant, dad.

-Honey, you know how your father gets when his upset.

-So I'm just supposed to suck it up while he insults me?

-Trey, stop this nonsense right now!

-You know what? I don't need to stand here putting up with your s**t anymore, I'm an adult! And I don't need you anymore!

I started walking towards the door and my dad made one last attempt trying to stop me, he got up and walked towards me, touching my shoulder as if I wasn't able to notice what was wrong in this situation:

-Now, where do you think your going young lady?

-I'm going to find my sister! Even if it kills me.

I took his hand away from my shoulder and opened the door, I closed the door, wanting to never look back, I wasn't kidding when I said that, so I had to work if I wanted to find her. Maybe some day, there will be time to tell you all of my journey, but for now, it's enough to understand why I didn't want to be in this place again, sadly, we were out of options, so either I learned to suck it up really fast, or my life would end up turning into an actual hell for a while.