"It's been long, Scarlet"
I was standing in front of a ghost.A.ghost. Hailey moved forward, her expression calm. I broke down right there on the floor. I cried silently because I didn't want mom to hear. She will be worried more than she already is. She would take me to the therapist again.
I'm not crazy.
"Don't cry Scarlet, please". Hailey was on her knees now but she couldn't touch me.
She can't even if she tried.
All I could feel was breeze, wind.
Transparent fingers in my hair.
Hailey is dead
Dead,dead,dead.
I killed her. With my bare hands. My heart skips a beat and I gasp for breath. "I'm a monster", I whisper. "A cold-blooded monster". Tears trickle down my cheeks onto the rug. The guilt was eating me up like a hungry lion. I close my eyes to remember what happened. On that fateful day. Hailey's death day.
*****
We were kidnapped. That's right
K-I-D-N-A-P-P-E-D.
After school, I and Hailey were walking back home together. We weren't best friends. Nothing close.
I can't say I liked her. I can't say I hated her. But I could say we weren't on good terms.
Everything happened so fast.
A brutal hit at the back of my head. Hailey's screams. Waking up on a broken motorcycle at dawn
I was drugged.Heavily.The psycho kidnappers made me kill Hailey. In the worst possible way ever. Slitting her throat with broken glass. Slowly.
I can still remember waking up in a dark room surrounded by 4 tall, broad men. They ridiculed me, pinched me and without permission,
Drugged me.
I can't remember details. Just my low voice whispering,
"Goodbye Hailey".
I woke up in the middle of the road. At dawn. Next to a broken motorcycle.
In undies.
Blood on the road.
On my hands.
On my undies.
I lost my virginity.
I was scarred.
With a wound I couldn't heal.
Trauma became my best friend.
*****
Hailey was still next to me with her fingers in my hair. I didn't the feel the tears on my cheeks anymore. I was so cold. "Is everything ok up there?". Brennon's coming. OH NO.NO.NO.I need to clean up the tears on my cheeks and wipe the smeared mascara and-
The door opens. Quietly.
I don't face Brennon. I am looking for photos. Sad photos. A reason to cry.
"Oh, this poor, poor child", I sniffle. Brennon is awfully quiet. Please don't face me. Please don't tell mom. I hate seeing psychiatrists. I hate pills. I-
"I'll leave you alone for now". The door closes and I breathe a sigh of relief. I look at Hailey with bloodshot eyes. I curl my lips and exhale quietly. "When will you leave?", I ask. "When will you leave me alone? "It's a repetition of two similar questions. The second one has more emphasis on what I really want.
A peaceful life.
Without ghosts.
Without moving
Without heartbreak.
Without fear.