Expecting from someone can give you a sense of fulfillment, if they manage to exceed or at least achieve that expectation of yours, the feeling sure is heavenly, but what if that person failed to accomplish it? The feeling sure is hellish, because expecting from someone means trusting them, and if they failed, they also broke that trust. The irony about it though is that you still want that person to console your disappointed self. How fragile can a human heart be?
Johann didn't show up, and I'm walking home right now thinking about why she didn't even text me to at least inform me that she can't come, she has my number. Maybe her phone's battery died? Or maybe an emergency at home, or maybe she forgot it. Too much "maybe" in my head! I'll just go home, take a nice long bath, and just forget what happened today. I'm used to this kind of feeling anyway.
I didn't do my usual routine whenever I came home, I just don't have the energy, and my mom is busy anyway. I headed straight to my room and hide the paper bag containing Johann's gift, I'll just give it tomorrow, or I'll ask Roy to give it to me because somehow, I don't want to show my face to Johann.
I was about to enter the bath and take a nice, long dipping when my mom suddenly call for me to go downstairs, she said that one of my classmates is looking for me right now. Wait, who could that be? Only Roy from our class, or rather from our school knows my address. But nice timing though, coming when I'm about to cleanse my soul in the bath.
"Lark, come here for a second, someone from your class, I think, is looking for you."
"I'm coming."
My irritated face quickly turned into a shocked expression the moment I caught a glimpse of the person waiting for me, it was Johann, still wearing her school uniform. I'm sweating, I don't know if I should face her, I can't let my mom make her leave, that will be so rude of me! I have no choice then...
Before I can even greet her, she suddenly vows her head while clenching her fist, with a worried expression drew on her face.
"I'm truly sorry, Lark, for making you wait in the coffee shop, there's an emergency in our house and because of that, I can't even inform you through text because I have to-" I interrupted her apology speech by tapping her right shoulder. First of all, I don't want a girl in front of me vowing while apologizing. Second, it's rude of me that we're talking outside of our house, I'm letting her in first.
"I'll stop you right there, it'll be better if we talk inside, right? So come on in."
Johann entered our house with a polite gesture, slightly bowing her head to my mom while greeting her. Wait a minute, I was so shocked that I forgot that this is the first time a girl from our school visits my house, I should silence my mom as soon as possible. But I am too late...
"Oh! What a lovely classmate you got here, Lark. What's your name?"
"Oh right, sorry for not introducing myself! My name's Johann, I'm actually just Lark's schoolmate. Nice to meet you!"
"Is that so? I actually thought you were my son's girlfriend or something like that."
Alright, time to step in and make my mother disappear for a moment before she can inflict more damage to my single life.
"Mom? I think our dinner is getting burn down the hell." My mom rushingly went to the kitchen to check it.
Meanwhile, Johann is looking around our house, that's a common gesture when it's your first time visiting someone's house. But is this for real? So she would actually go through the trouble of visiting me in our house to apologize?
"So... how did you find out my address?"
"From Roy, I texted him."
"I see. By the way, H-happy Birthday." I immediately looked away after I greeted her, I am sweating right now and I can feel that my face is all red now, why am I being flustered? This is so embarassing. But somehow, seeing her doing all this effort erased the uneasiness I felt.
"R-right! I forgot it's my birthday because of what happened today, but thank you! And I'm truly sorry, you see, It's an emergency at our house, my mother collapsed because of her illness, so we rushed her to the hospital. I'm so stressed and shocked that I forgot to inform you through text. Again, I'm really sorry." After what she said, I realized it all. But I didn't get it, she's still forcing a slight smile regardless of what happened, I can't see any hint of despair from her face, but I can feel that she's trying her best to hide it.
"It's okay, really. Don't worry about it, worry about your mother, okay? And... it's getting late now, want to have dinner here? I mean only if you want to, the food is ready."
"Thank you for the offer, I would love to, but I need to go now, I just came here to apologize to you, and I'm glad you understand the situation. "
"I see. Well then, let me walk you to the station, wait for a sec here, I'll just get something in my room." I rushed into my room to get my present for Johann, I hope it can make her happy even for just a little. It's her birthday after all.
Johann didn't notice the paper bag I am holding when I got down from my room, she's just staring blankly, expressionless. I tap her to gain her attention, she informs my mom that she will be going home. While walking, Johann's just looking down, as if she's being careful on any obstacles she might bump into, but no, she's worried sick about her mother for sure, but I don't know what to do to at least comfort her. If I can't help with my words, maybe I can help with sweets. If I'm not mistaken, there's an ice cream store near the station, I'll get her some to cheer her up a bit.
"H-hey, wanna grab some ice cream? There's an ice cream shop near the station. It's your birthday, so my treat."
"Yes, please! One cookies and cream topped with chocolate chips for me!" Whoa, that's some mood swing right there, but I'm glad she's cheered up.
I let her find seats for us, I ordered her request and one triple chocolate ice cream, I'm a big fan of chocolate. I sit down and give her the ice cream I ordered, the excitement is visible in her face as she scooped one spoonful and happily ate it. She really likes cookies and cream, maybe it's her favorite. Sweets really do take away your sadness, even just a little bit. I'm not saying anything while she's enjoying her ice cream, I'm just catching some glimpse of how she eats, it's kind of odd though of how she's eating it, she's like a guy the way she's munching her ice cream, that's surprising, but at the same time, I find it cute.
"You really love cookies and cream, don't you?" I suddenly asked her while eating mine, she paused a little bit and stopped eating, I think she is embarrassed because she's turning red now.
"Kinda, but not that much though." She suddenly changed her way of eating it, she held back I think, she's now scooping lesser than before.
"You don't have to hold back, you know? It's your birthday, after all, do what makes you happy." Johann looked at me in the eye with a serious face, she's like trying to say something to me...
"Say, Lark, you're a very nice guy you know? I think you'll be a perfect boyfriend, I mean you're playing the boyfriend role very well..." Wait, what the heck is this girl saying? But I feel uncomfortable now, she still wearing her serious face while keeping eye contact with me, and somehow, I'm not looking away. What's wrong with her anyway? Is she teasing me?
"W-what do you mean?" I swear I'm blushing right now, but I can't let my guard down!
"Eh? You know what I mean Lark, maybe we could try to, you know..." She paused, and she grinned at me. I knew she's messing with me! But what did she mean by that?
"Try what?" After I spoke, I finally break my eye contact with her and divert my attention to my ice cream, and started eating it bit by bit. I'm still listening though to what she's going to say...
"We could try to... swap ice cream! I want to try that triple chocolate of yours, Larky!" Johann, then, laughed at me so hard that tears are bursting out of her eyes and her face is all red. This girl can be annoying sometimes, and she really enjoys it. I'll get back at you someday!
Her laugh is slowly falling out now, and she's redeeming herself. Johann is wiping her tears that came out because of her laughter. She then started to talk to me again.
"You're so cute when you're flustered, I think I'll tease you some more in the future, I really like how you react with my teasing, you know!" My annoyed face turned into a slight smile when I realized that she's having fun right now, if it is teasing that will make her happy on her birthday, I guess it's a small price to pay. But I swear I'll be extra careful from now on, I'll be putting my guard up every time I'm talking with this unpredictable girl.
"Alright, enough talking because it's getting late now, you'll be caught in rush hour if you don't hurry." Johann stood up from her seat and nodded at me.
When we arrived at the station, it already has a line, but it's still not long enough to make you wait for two to three hours. Johann's about to stand in line, but I remember something, I still have her present with me! As she walks straight to the line, I quickly run towards her and called her name.
"Wait up! H-here! My present for you..." I quickly handed it over to her while looking away from her, so I can't see her reaction. Johann took it from me, and that was the time I looked at her to see her reaction.
"Oh? A present! So you do like me huh, Lark?"
"What the hell are you talking about? It's just a regular present from a friend! Nothing special about it, it's like I'm giving a present to a female version of Roy."
Johann laughed at me again.
"I know! I'm just kidding. But kidding aside, thank you so much for this! I really appreciated it!"
"Y-you're welcome. I'm not sure though if you will like it because I'm not good at gift-giving."
"Hey, it's the thought that counts remember? And no way this won't be good! Just look at the paper bag, it's luxurious looking!" Johann happily thank me for my simple gift for her. I'm glad she likes it. Honestly, I'm kind of feeling anxious about giving it to her because this is the first time I actually give a present to a girl, my mom's an exception, of course.
"The next jeepney will come! Thank again for this, Lark! Oh and by the way, I really mean it, you play the boyfriend role perfectly." She waved at me before she entered the jeepney. I'm stunned right now, I didn't even wave back to her, I just watched her slowly ride the jeepney. What was that? Did she just tease me again? And here I thought I'll be putting my guard up against her! But there's no way she really meant that, right?
My cellphone rings, I checked the notification, it was Roy. That's right, he knew that Johann visited me because he's the source of it, he'll be bothering me tomorrow about this for sure.
"Good evening, my favorite friend! How's your birthday date with Johann? Please give me some good news."
"It's not a date, dumbass. I think she had fun though, but you should've informed me first that you gave her my address, I was surprised that someone from our school besides you is in front of our door."
"Right, my bad! Anyway, what's her reaction about your gift?"
"Wait, let me go home first, okay? I'm walking right now and I'm almost there." This guy's so talkative even in text messages, I wish girls reply this fast too.
I texted Roy immediately when I got home, I'm urging to ask him something, I hope he takes it seriously though.
"I just got home. Johann told me something but I don't really get what she means."
"What did she told you? Let me enlighten your virgin self, so please tell me what did she said to you" He's being annoying again even here in the text.
"She told me I played the boyfriend role perfectly, and that she really mean it. What the hell does she mean by that?" Roy took his time to reply to what I said in the text, maybe he's messing with me or something like that, a typical Roy, I must say, but he did reply after a couple of minutes.
"Oh man, you're getting her interest! She sees you as a boyfriend material now and not just a normal friend! You actually have a shot at her! Let's freaking celebrate tomorrow." Why would he think to celebrate with this kind of stuff? Is this an achievement?
"Hell no, I'm not celebrating with that, I'm not that shallow! And besides, maybe she sees me like that, but not as her boyfriend, but a boyfriend to another girl. And I'm really not into this kind of stuff anyway, I'm just curious."
"Anyway, thank you for explaining. I'll see you tomorrow." I hit send and closed my phone. Why am I so curious about what she said? Probably because this is the first time a girl said that to me, but I need to withstand the eagerness of falling in love, I don't want to experience the same fate last year, I'm going to enjoy my remaining high school years without a girlfriend.
It's 5:30 in the morning, the sun is still not revealing itself, I suddenly feel a gust of wind from my window, it's still chilly outside, but I'm awakened by a ringtone from my phone, it's a text message from Roy. I can't see it clearly because I'm still rubbing my sleepy eyes, trying to clear my vision. Finally, I'm totally awake, now let's read what this fool has to say early in the morning.
"Lark! Tracie is planning to throw a late celebration for Johann today. Prepare some extra money, we're gonna have a blast!" So they're planning to give Johann a late celebration? Come to think of it, Johann didn't properly celebrate her birthday yesterday, maybe this is a great idea, it'll surely cheer her up, but I wonder if those guys know what happen to her mother yesterday, but I'm not bringing that up to them, even to Roy, but when push comes to shove and I slip my tongue, I'll make sure he will stay quiet. It's still early but I'm not sleepy anymore, time for a cup of coffee then, maybe I can prepare breakfast for them? Never mind, coffee is enough.
It's raining, this will be a pain going to school. While walking, I saw some high school students wearing raincoats, I thought when you entered high school, raincoats are strictly prohibited, but that's just an urban legend or rather, a stupid belief of normies.
I'm almost there in school because I'm already here in the coffee shop, I was about to cross the street when I heard a voice, it was Jenna, coming out of the coffee shop, she bought a hot coffee. I know I already had one back in our home but when I saw Jenna's coffee, I have the urge to buy one too but no, enough with palpitating already.
"Lark! Let's walk to school together." She then sips from her cup, enjoying its warmness while walking under the rain. I knew it, it's a good idea to buy one! My decision-making is the messed up thing here. Jenna is just quiet throughout our walk, she's quietly enjoying the rainy days with a cup of coffee, I guess? How I wish I have one right now. But her aura is different right now, she's a little comfortable with me because she invited me to walk to school together, without any hesitation.
We're near the school gate but Jenna stopped walking and turned to me, she quickly looked down though.
"Y-you want some of my coffee? I noticed that y-you're frequently looking at it while we're walking. Here, you can sip if you want, it's cold, this should warm you up." Damn it! I didn't realize that I'm looking at her coffee while we're walking! I am being weird and gross and I didn't even notice! Curse your coffee addiction!
"T-thank you! I'll give you some coffee next time." I'm sweating right now even though it's raining. Well, it'll be rude if I deny her offer, so I just took it and drank it quickly with regret. I really hate myself, but coffee is a coffee.
Jenna laughed, she's trying hard to hide it but it is all over her face, even Jenna is messing with me now? What's going on with these girls?
We entered the room together, and we're pretty early today because our classroom is still empty. I immediately went to my seat, put my bag under my chair, and took out my phone. I played some music while waiting for our classmates and the class to start. Jenna is doing the same thing, she's just listening to some music while scrolling through her phone.
After few minutes, Roy came. He quickly went straight to my seat, he's looking to gossip for sure.
"Stupid, It's because of your text early in the morning. By the way, what's your plan for the celebration?" Roy took a deep breath, then gets something out from his bag, it's a brochure.
"Well, we're planning to have a karaoke party, but we need exactly 6 people to avail the student promo, we currently have you, me, Tracie, Lucho, and Johann, so we still need one person to fill that requirement..." Roy stared at me for a couple of seconds while grinning, he then put his left hand on my right shoulder.
"...and I know the perfect person who can fill that, let's invite Jenna! No, you will invite Jenna right now!" What? Is he serious? Like Jenna would join us, I mean she's shy, and she didn't even know them, it's impossible...
"No way! That's basically impossible from the start, she'll definitely reject the offer right away, think of it, she didn't even know the rest of us." Roy took a sigh before he replied.
"Okay, let me rephrase, invite Jenna right now and think of it as thanks for her. Remember? She accompanied you last time when you bought a gift, right?" Damn it, he got me cornered right there, he is a formidable opponent when he's using his brain, or I'm just gullible? But that's seldom though, of him using his brain.
"Tsk, alright! But if she rejected it, don't blame me, and let Tracie find another person to fill that requirement." Come on Lark, you invited her once, this will be an easy task for you. Let's get this done once and for all.
Now's the perfect timing, I can quickly invite her and get rejected in a minute, so I'll do it while we're still the only people here in our classroom. She's wearing her earphones, so I'll just do the method I used last time to get her attention, tapping her shoulder. I'll just go straight to the point so I can get this over with.
"Hey Jenna, wanna join us later? We're having a karaoke party after class but we're still lacking one person to avail the student promo, and I'm thinking of inviting you as thanks for the last time." I just said that without stuttering, is this for real? But I'm not expecting her to accept the invitation because honestly if I were here, I'll reject it.
Jenna looks like she's thinking about it, I was about to let her think about it later but she gave me an answer already.
"I-if you're there, I guess I'll join in if it's okay for you all of you. T-thank you for inviting me."