The Princess Who Wasn't

Chapter Ten: Better Life.

Merilla woke up well rested and ready for her next cleaning shift. While she didn’t know exactly what time it was Merilla was sure it wasn’t late enough for her to go clean yet so she washed her face, got dressed, and pulled her food off the dresser to sit down with it on her bed. She ate 5 chicken wings, 2 cheesy bread sticks, and a half a cookie. She really wanted the cookies to last as long as possible and since she had eaten two last night and a half today, she only had three and a half cookies left. One a day would give her three more days of cookies before they were all gone. She didn’t dare hope that she would be left with more sweet treats and yet, a part of her did hope that her life would just be this easy, predictable, and routine.

Merilla placed her food carefully back on her dresser and slipped on her shoes. While she did long for another hot shower, she didn’t dare use her limited soap twice a day. Slipping out of the room and heading outside, she smiled wonder what type of food she would get tonight. Tonight she was cleaning TT’s, Taco Tuesday’s. despite the name it was open on more than just Tuesdays’. Their name, however, contributed to their slogan: Any day can be Taco Tuesday. She wasn’t entirely sure what the full menu consisted of, but most publicly advertised was their tacos, nachos, and burritos. Any time Merilla had gotten nachos out of the dumpster they were cold and mushy. It would be so nice to get to taste fresh nachos, or maybe something with guacamole. She had never had guacamole before but always found that it looked so appetizing on the advertisements.

Merilla strolled back down to the cliff that overlooked the ocean and found herself looking out into the water doing something she hadn’t done in a long time. She was day dreaming about what her life would have been like if she hadn’t been abandoned by her birth family. Would she have so many clothes she could wear a different outfit for every day of the week? Would she be able to eat two warm, fresh meals a day? Would she be hugged? Would she know how it feels to have warm lips kiss her forehead before she drifts off to sleep? A warm tear slid down Merilla’s cheek as she thought about the possibilities that would have been available to her if she had the family she long ago stopped dreaming about. However, it been decided for her without a chance she was determined to be unworthy of the smallest chance of love, of comfort, of compassion, of even mercy. Wiping away her tears, Merilla sniffed and walked down the side of the cliff where it slopped to move closer to the ocean.

Standing close to the waters edge Merilla contemplated slipping her shoes off and sticking her feet in the ocean just to prove that she was no longer afraid of it. She would be in control of her own life. Except, as she backed away from the waters edge, she realized that her life would never be under her own control. Currently, her life was controlled by the niceties offered to her by the town who just barely temper their disdain for her. She couldn’t hold on to it and couldn’t control it. Taking a deep breath she turned around and headed to Taco Tuesday’s to complete her nightly job.

Only six hours later Merilla packed up her food before even looking at it and trudged back to her room. She was done earlier than expected but she was more tired than ever. The restraunt was actually very clean, but the kitchen was in much need of a good scrub down. She had no idea how much grease was used to make tacos. Most of her time was spent cleaning the grease and as a result it was now all over her. She hurried to get home so she could shower and rid herself of the feel and smell all over her. The smell of all the seasonings contained in the food she was carrying was making her stomach growl and she couldn’t wait to see what she had obtained.

Once back in her room she quickly removed all of her clothes and turned the shower on all the way hot. Washing her hair, then her face, then down her body she felt much better. Fully refreshed, Merilla jumped out of the shower and quickly dried off before pulling on her pajamas. For a moment she revealed in the feeling of being able to shower and change her clothes regularly. She no longer woke up with mud in her hair or sun burns all over. Her hair wasn’t the color of mud or rust. It was her bright red natural color all the time.

Sitting on her bed with the new food from Taco Tuesdays Merilla was excited to see what was inside the packages she retrieved. She had a plastic container, a small rectangle box, and a rather large styrofoam cup with a lid on it. That’s what she was most confused about so the styrofoam cup was the first container she opened. Inside she found rice with multiple vegetables, cheese, and mini shrimps. Using a plastic spork, she took a bite and was pleasantly surprised with the garlicy taco taste of the rice. Putting the lid back on the cup and set it to the side before opening up the plastic container. To her delight the plastic container had nachos in it. Lots of chips were smothered by ground beef, lettuce, bell peppers, onions, jalapeños, pico de gallo, multiple cheeses, sour cream, and salsa. Excitedly she dug in and while the chips on the top were soft the ones underneath were still crunchy. A little spicier than she was expecting, she couldn’t eat a lot of it at once, but she ate about a third of the nachos before putting them to the side and taking a drink of her water. In the box there was three simple tacos with beef, cheese, and lettuce. She decided to save those for later, putting the rest of tonight’s food on her dresser she grabbed a piece of pizza and her other half of the days cookie.