Faking it

Chapter 1. Tour

MAY 2017

Kristen's pov

Michael holds my hand and pulls me with him to the tour bus. When we're inside he let go. The others get in, the door closed and we take off. Just seconds later we're on our way to our next destination.

Tour just started, but it's already a big mess. Ingrid and Justine are coming along this tour too, meaning two more souls will know.

Any person knowing could ruin it all and if the truth will come out, we can probably both say goodbye to our careers.

It's not something I want to worry about right now though. I'm tired and I honestly just want to go to bed.

While the others sit down in the back lounge, I quickly say good night and while they say their good nights I walk to my bunk to fall asleep just a few minutes later.

Not exactly. I wish that would've happened, but I guess I'm not that lucky. I lay in my bunk waiting to fall asleep, but I just don't. I've never been a good sleeper, but this is getting a bit extreme.

By the time the others are going to their bunks I'm still awake and it's at least 2 hours later.

We've just been in tour for about 3 days, is this is how this tour is going to be, I really don't know how I'm going to survive. Or maybe this is just because the tour just started.

I wonder if fans ever know how extremely stressful touring is. Touring was really something I had to get used to during my first tour. The day after an exhausting show, I just want to lay and rest, but that's not possible most of the time.

Not when we've shows every day at least. Which is the case, most of the time.

I must've been far away in my thoughts because it's suddenly completely quiet. Everyone must've gone to bed right now.

Falling asleep late is taking its toll the next day. First of all when I get out of my bunk everyone else is already up. I wonder how long it'll take for Alyssa to start asking questions about why I "slept" so long this night. Actually I think it would be worse if she knew I just lied there for hours.

I put on a sweater over my pajama being too lazy to change into anything else. As I walk to the "kitchen" to grab a glass of water, I see Justine, Ingrid, Michael and Tyler sitting at the table next to the kitchen. Yeah, this day could not have started better. It's too late now to turn around, so I just continue.

"Good morning," I say before I fake a sneeze, acting like I've a cold. My fellow bandmates great me and just continue with their conversation.

After getting a glass of water I sit down besides Michael and cough a few times. "That doesn't sound good," Justine says a bit worried.

"I'll be fine," I convince her and smile slightly.

"Until then stay away from Michael," I hear Alyssa say and turn around to see her walk closer to us. Thank God. We'll be fine for at least a day or two.

"Yes ma'am," I say and move a bit away from Michael.

Just after a few minutes listening to their conversation, I already came to the realisation that Ingrid and Justine are having the time of their lives. They can't stop talking about how amazing the first 2 shows have been and how awesome it is to see all the fans.

It reminds me of when I went on tour for the first time more than a year ago and it makes me smile. It's crazy how fast time actually goes. 

I feel my thoughts drift away again when I hear someone calling my name. It takes a few seconds to realise it's Emily and that she's walking towards me. "I need your help, can you come quickly," Emily asks as I look at her. "Sure," I say while I stand up.

We walk to the back lounge where Alyssa is sitting.

I sigh relieved and sit down on the couch. 

"I so don't agree with all of this," Alyssa says shaking her head lightly as Emily sits down too. "What else can I do?" I ask. I've to admit that that probably didn't sound really nice, but there isn't much I can do about. If Victoria has a plan I would love to hear, but until then I'm kind of stuck.

"They are your friends!" Alyssa says, "telling them shouldn't be a problem." "Every single person who knows, is one too much," I say, "I'm sorry, it's complicated and I can't blame you for not understanding."

After that it stays quiet for a few minutes. 

"On who's side are you guys actually?" Alyssa asks Emily.  "Since when are we picking sides?" Emily asks confused. "I’m not going to choose," she says raising her eyebrows.

"I'm sorry Al," I apologise, "I really don't want to fight with you, the whole situation just stresses me out a bit." 

Alyssa sighs. "Okay," she says, "but I still don't agree."

"I get what Kristen says," Emily says, "we don't know how big the shock will be for them, we really can't risk it. Not yet at least."

"Though I've seen how you guys are," Alyssa continues, "it won't take long for them to figure out anyways."  "It gives us some time," I say, "I'll talk about it with Michael. Maybe he has a genius plan or so."