Sanity comes in a Pill

CHAPTER FOUR: mistakes and friendships

Jared hesitantly steps into my messy room. “Don’t touch anything,” I order. I’m still pissed off I was told to let Jared stay with me for the day so they can ‘vampire proof’ his room as Liam put it, with the hope he won’t tare up my room and me during the time it takes.

I am starting to think Jared has a split personality. One second he is a normal shy unassuming teenager and the next second he is either throwing up or having a violent fit. Jared is way more trouble than I ever have been vampire or not. I look over at Jared, he is trying his hardest to literally touch nothing like I requested. Wow…I didn’t think I was that intimidating. I sigh and put my face in my hand. “Just come sit on the bed Jared.” “Okay,” he says. He makes sure he is on the opposite end of the bed from where I have placed myself.

I boot up my Cube box and start playing a racing simulator called ‘Racing Haven’. Jared seems interested, but does not make any moves towards me. “Really man, I’m not going to hurt you,” I insist, “and you can’t hurt me,” I add finally realizing that is most likely the issue. Its pretty hard to trust yourself around people after you’ve hurt someone. Especially if you care about them. Maybe I’m being to hard on him. My comment seemed to relax Jared a bit. I can tell because his shoulders drop and he pushes his hair dark hair behind his ear so he can see the game better, revealing his big brown eyes. He even moves half a millimeter towards me.

We sit in silence for almost an hour, me occasionally swearing at the television and shaking my remote. “If you hit the X button when you turn you won’t slow down as much,” Jared says. Worth a try, I guess. I turn a sharp corner and hit the X button as Jared suggested. I smoothly turn the corner without slowing down. My jaw drops, it worked and I have moved from ninth to fifth. I turn towards him. A little to fast I guess cause he flinches back. “How did you know how to do that?!” He lowers his head and blushes. “I play racing games professionally,” he says quietly.

I’m shocked, so shocked I forget how my mouth is supposed to work and it just stays open. I never would have thought Jared to be a professional gamer. That is my dream and he is living it! Or was living it I painfully realize. “That’s amazing,” I manage to say in stunned awe. Jared blushes and looks away letting his hair fall back over his eyes. “Its not that big a deal,” he says. “I disagree,” I counter. Jared still doesn’t seem convinced. “You want to play,” I ask, pointing the control towards him. He looks like he wants to take it, but he shakes his head. “I’ll just watch.”

I manage to get Jared to talk a bit more about racing games. He seems a little less awkward now that we have something to talk about. I even manage to get him to tell me his gaming code name; Sou1Rac3r. I wanted to look it up when we were hanging out, but he told me not too because he is embarrassed. That makes me super curious. I vow to look it up in my own time.

I walk Jared back to his room when the vampire proofing is done. It looks like a big fluffy marshmallow now instead of a prison cell; every thing has been removed from the room except the mattress, which now lays on the white padded floor. Jared frowns at these new changes. I can't blame him, but I know this will be way better for him in the long run and it’s not like he has to stay in his room the whole time. He is lucky he is not getting a strait jacket to go along with his upgraded room. If I am being honest if Jared wore one during the night it would eliminate a lot of problems. Not that I am going to share this thought with him.

Jared sighs. "Cheer up," I say,” let’s go get some food."

I go to the exit door and grab our food trays, while Jared goes over to one of the tables. I'm a bit nervous about how this meal is going to go. Liam warned me ahead of time, that Jared will be prescribed blood pills like mine now to try and combat his 'out bursts'. I am quite a bit curious to know what they have been seeing on the tapes. So far, I have been lucky enough to only see the after math of his 'out bursts'.

"Are you ready?" I ask Jared. I told him ahead of time what to expect. "I guess," he replies clearly not ready.

I slide him his tray, the three little red pills roll around. “Do I have to eat them?” Jared asks. I understand this must be causing him a bit of anxiety because of his traumatic experience recently, but I really do agree that they will help. I mean they’ve helped me so much. I nod encouragingly. Jared takes a deep breath and shakily picks up the first pill. I’m holding my breath I’m so nervous. I can imagine Liam is doing the same right now, wherever he is at the moment. Jared opens his mouth and quickly pops the pill in. A minute passes and then another. Nothing happens. I let my breath out. “How do you feel?” I ask Jared. He looks me I the eye and smiles for the first time. “Great.”

                                                                                   ******

Jared's yelling at me to hurry up and pass that guy already. “I’m trying!!” I yell back. Its been 2 months since Jared moved here. He has opened up a lot, but he can still be supper skittish. Must be part of his personality. The pills seem to be helping a lot; he hasn’t had an accident in weeks. Some days though, Jared is bed ridden with fevers. The doctors haven’t discovered the cause yet, but there always taking new blood samples to test. He is doing so well that Liam has even been able to come in the Dark room. Sometimes the three of us play video games together, its like we’ve been friends a long time instead of two months. Of course this means I do not get any alone time with Liam now. Sigh…its probably for the best. He’s not going to magically fall in love with me anyways.

What hasn’t changed over these past months is that Jared still will not play racing games. I have no clue why. “Turn, turn turn!” Jared yells. I bank right completely going off the track. Jared face palms. He is a good sport but this really must be painful for him having been a professional and all.

A week after are first time ‘hanging out’ I finally got a chance to look up Sou1Rac3r online. I was assuming to see some poorly edited videos with timid Jared stumbling over his words. I was not prepared for what I was about to see. First off not only is Jared a professional, he is popular too. The last video he posted- Race to the Stars pt.1- has over a million views! And he has just as many subscribers! I decided to watch it to try and understand Jared more. When Jared appeared on the screen, after the intro (3D text of the video tittle with rock music in the background) I think there is no way the person before me is him. The person I see on the screen carries there self confidently and has an almost sassy/commanding personality. The Jared I know is not confident at all and shy. I don’t know how they can be the same person. I watched the rest of the video in stunned silence. After feeling like I understood Jared less than before I watched the video.

I finish the lap and set the remote down. “Maybe we should call it a day,” I suggest. Jared agrees, besides Bebe should be coming over soon. Its taken a long time but Bebe has finally been given permission to meet Jared. Under the condition he has to stay in my room or the dark room and Liam must be present. Pretty fair conditions. Bebe hates being videotaped without permission as much as I do, so my room was the obvious choice for first introductions.

Me and Jared both turn as the darkroom door creaks open revealing Liam. “Jared I just want to do a quick check up before Bebe comes,” he says from the doorway. “Okay,” Jared mumbles. He is being all shy again. This always happens when he has to have a checkup. “Caleb don’t look,” he tells me. So cute, he is still embarrassed to remove his shirt around me even though I have done it for him a million times. I obey however and turn so I am facing the wall. I hear Liam pulling out equipment and checking Jared over. Its so hard not to peak! After an agonizingly long time. Jared gives me permission to look. “All good?” I ask. “Yup,” Liam confirms, “he is ready to meet a giant.” “She’s not really a giant is she?” Jared inquires. “Pretty much,” Liam and I say at the same time.

Around 5:00pm (about ½ an hour later) Bebe opens the door without warning. The sudden noise makes Jared jump a bit. A laugh tickles my through. Great start Bebe. “Where is he?” she asks excited. “Well hello to you too,” I tease. I turn to Jared. “Jared this is my friend Bebe. Bebe this is Jared.” Jared is staring at Bebe, eyes as wide as dinner plates. I’m kind of worried he is going to run away.

Bebe’s jaw drops. “He is sooo small,” she says surprised. I punch her in the arm. “Be nice,” I tell her, “Jared you good?” “Yah, there’s just a lot of blood and its kind of loud,” he says. He is covering his ears with his hands now. I should have warned him about that. Bebe looks appalled by his comment. She leans down and whispers in my ear. “So he still can’t control it yet?” I confirm with a slight nod.

The ‘it’ Bebe is referring to is Jared’s new heightened senses. This includes the power to hear the flow of blood in a person’s body. When I first moved here I haven’t fully mastered it yet either and I would constantly complain to Bebe that her blood was too loud (there is an abnormal amount because of her height). Its something that’s always disturbed her.

She straightens up and crouches down in front of Jared. He looks away and I don’t blame him, Bebe can be pretty intimidating at times and also her chest is only a few centimeters from his face. “Nice to meet you Jared,” she grins, her huge canines greatly visible, “I suspect we will be seeing each other quite a bit from now on.” She holds out a hand towards him. After a few seconds, Jared hesitantly takes it. “Likewise,” he says shaking it nervously. I was waiting for what happens next; Bebe lets go of Jared’s hand and elopes him in a big hug. Jared yells in surprise.

Liam and I cannot control our laughter. It looks ridicules because of the size difference. Eventually Jared starts to laugh too as he tries to escape his confinement. I do not know what I was worried about.

“Uh…what do we do now?” I ask. Jared cannot leave this room so there is not much for a group of four to do. “I have a few ideas,” Liam says smiling. He walks into the dark room and the three of us follow curious of what Liam has in mind. When we emerge from my room, I am surprised to see a volleyball net set up in the middle of the room. I give Liam a confused look. “I used to play beach volleyball when I was younger,” he explains, “I’ve wanted to play a game against you for a few years and now and we finally have enough people.” Turns out Liam is full of surprises. “Jared you’re on my team,” I tell him. “Isn’t this a little unfair?” he asks pointing at Bebe. Liam smirks, “Totally.” Jared and I take the right side and Liam and Bebe go on the left.

“I’ve never played before,” Jared tells me, “is it hard?” “Not really, you just want to stop it from touching the ground on your side.” I have played volleyball a few times at the community center where my parents live and even here against other residents. Personally, I think I am pretty good. I clasp my hands together and show Jared how to position his legs so he can hit the ball properly. Once he has it figured out, Liam serves the ball.

The ball flies towards Jared at an alarming rate. There is no way he is going to hit that. Turns out, I am right. Jared attempts to hit the ball, but just misses. It grazes his hand and goes straight up in the air. “I’ve got it!” I yell and dive as the ball plummets towards the ground. At the last second, I connect and it travels over the net. Yes!! Bebe is waiting for it though and deflects it back to our side. I cannot get to it this time. Liam gives Bebe a fist bump. Dang, I’m not going to lose this.

By the time we finish the score is 30 to 32 (Jared and I lost). Were all panting from exhaustion. “I thought you said this wasn’t hard,” Jared gasps. There is so much sweat dripping off him it looks like he is melting. I kind of feel like I am too. “Victory,” Liam smirks from one of the picnic tables where he is catching his breath. “Next…time…we will win,” I assure him.

Once everyone catches his or her breath. We all go back to my room. “We should watch a scary movie,” Bebe says, “think you boys can handle it?” “Of course we can,” Liam and I say in union. Bebe is always trying to get us to watch scary movies. They are her favorite thing besides running. Jared looks scared already, but nods anyway. The movie Bebe choses is horror movie about an evil spirt that goes around killing people in a small town, and the main character, a big city detective, tries to lift the curse. Pretty typical horror movie stuff.

I do not have any seating in my room (I really should get some) so we all pile onto my bed. It must be built of titanium or something to hold all our weight at once. We sit: Liam, me and slightly off to the side Jared. After a bit of struggle finding room. Bebe sits behind me and folds her arms around my shoulders.

As soon as the first scene starts I feel something warm press up against my side. I turn my head to the left a bit. Its Jared, he looks terrified. Awwwwe. Bebe and Liam are focused on the movie and have not noticed. I slowly move my hand on to Jared’s thigh. He grabs my arm and shifts closer. I can’t help but smile a bit.

                                                                           ******

I am sitting in my room working on fixing my game controller. The left joystick has become lose and it is really bothering me. It finally pops back into place properly when

I get a bad feeling all of a sudden. Jared! I jump up and sprint to Jared’s room.

"Stop!" I yell at Jared as I rush over to him.

He is sitting in a corner of his room and slowly drawing a knife across his wrist. He must have somehow slipped a knife in his pocket from one of our meals without me knowing. Jared has already made a few cuts that I can I see on his wrist already and his face is a mess. He must have been feeding on them. A drop of blood drips down his chin making me shiver. Jared tilts his head up and looks me in the face (his pupils are creepily small like that of an animals). "I had to do it," he insists, "It wanted me too."

I am really scared right now; I can see everything I don't want to become right in front of me. "Jared every thing is going to be okay. Just let me stop the bleeding and then we can figure this out." I pull a wad of gauze I have been carrying around out of my pocket and crouch down in front of Jared. He starts to cry, "I’m sorry." "It’s alright," I tell him, but it is not alright. I start binding his wound. Once again, I realize how frail he is. Like a living skeleton.

The scent of is blood is also making me feel somewhat sick. My heart starts beating faster. Jared winces as I put pressure on the cuts. "I hope I’m not wrong about you," he says distantly. I can feel sweat dripping down the back of my neck. "What do you mean..." My question is interrupted as Jared leans in and kisses me on the lips. My cheeks catch on fire. I’m so shocked. Never in a million years (I might actually live that long too) did I think Jared or anyone would kiss me because of who I am now, I love it. My whole body shudders. I have been deprived of this emotion for so long. I press against Jared’s lips for a moment. They are surprisingly soft for someone who is covered in scars. The two of us stay like this for a minute, then I force myself to pull away. My heart and body crying out in protest.

Whoever was watching the video feed probably saw what Jared was doing and sent someone down here to make sure he was stopped. They should be here soon. Luckily, for us they would not have been able to tell what we were doing due to the angle of the camera. My back was to it and Jared is so small there is no way they could see him. “I…ummm…I have to go tell them everything is good,” I stutter, quickly standing up. Jared grabs my sleeve, almost pulling me down. He is surprisingly strong for being so frail. Super strength is a common effect of Vampirism. “What is it?” I ask. I need to leave now before I can’t. “There’s…blood on your face.” I touch my lips with my right hand and it comes away red. I did not even notice.

What I do next I know I shouldn’t do, but I’m suddenly starving and for some reason Jared’s blood, which before seemed rotten now appears appetizing. I lick the blood off my hands and wipe my mouth on my shirt. I can feel the warm liquid traveling down my throat. It was not enough to satisfy my hunger. Even so its like a jolt of adrenaline, my head is starting to spin. “Go get some sleep,” I manage to tell Jared as I leave the room unsteadily.

That was really stupid of me. I forgot how much stronger human blood is then animal blood, not to mention the fact Jared isn’t really human. I should really go lie down in my room, but I do not want to have to explain why I didn’t come repot on Jared’s condition after I was clearly with him. When I can stand properly again Jared has a lot of explaining to do. I see Liam outside the exit door. Gosh darn it, couldn’t they have sent anybody else but him?! He open the door for me, I slip through and lean against the wall for support trying to play it cool. I am trying my hardest not to think about blood, but it is so hard when I can literally hear Liam’s blood flowing under his skin. I can feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead. I’m stupid, REALLY STUPID!! “Is everything alright?” Liam asks, breaking my train of thought. Not at all. “Totally fine,” I reply trying to smile, “I patched him up. Here’s the knife back.” I pass Liam the soiled blade. Yup, I’m definitely not fine. My heart feels like it is going to pop out of my chest.

He examines it as if it’s some kind of living thing. “I think it’s time we consider the straight jacket for when you can’t be with him,” Liam says and puts the knife in his pocket. I don’t want Jared to lose his freedom, it’s not his fault he is this way. My heart rate must be past a liveable speed at this point, I need to leave. “Definitely not.” Liam is not at all surprised by my reaction. “Senior staff is having a meeting tonight you should come,” he suggests. I don’t want to go to a meeting that’s most likely going to try and convince me my friend is uncontrollable and needs to be restrained, but the dizziness is getting worse and I’m worried I’m going to snap.

“Fine see you tonight,” I agree and quickly exit back through the door before Liam can say anything else. Liam watches me walk towards my room. Crap, he is probably wondering why I am not going to check on Jared first. He must know something is up. When I reach my room I don’t turn on the lights. I fall onto the bed and burry myself in the blankets. I want this feeling in my gut to stop. It hurts so much. An image of Jared pops into my mind. His big brown eyes and soft lips…I instantly feel my face turning red. I don’t know what to make of Jared’s kiss. He probably did not even mean to do it and well forget about it soon enough. However, I hope he meant it.