Let Me Be The One

Chapter 7

“Wait, excuse me?” I asked in shock. “Can you repeat what you just said?” Out of all places, why does it have to be his house?

You know what I'm trying to say…

“Do you seriously have an impaired hearing, Yoon Mara?” he asked in a sarcastic manner with his eyes brooding over on the road, “You know what? You should go and see a doctor already.”

I just keep going on with being quiet as I cross my arms in front of my chest and face the road as well.

“I was just worried about what your parents might think when they see that…,” I broke the pure silence after feeling my throat closing due to nervousness.

“See what?” he asked, “And why would you worry about them?” he clicks his tongue, “They are not home anyway. I live all by myself since I failed to graduate two years ago. My parents were so mad at me that they threw me away.”

Woah, that is really out of the blue. How can he lay that on the line without feeling awkward or hesitant at all?

“Ah, is that so?” I just reacted, feeling heartbroken for him, “I am so sorry.”

He chuckles, “Why are you saying sorry? It's not like they died or anything.”

I'm not sorry about his parents though, it's just that I feel sympathy for him.

“I can hear what you're thinking, okay? Don't pity me,” he throws his head back shortly, trying to stop his laughter because he's being distracted from driving. “The thing that you should worry about is yourself because you are going to a man's home… unaccompanied,” he said, and it gave rise to my anxiety.

“What the h-?”

“Stop what you're thinking. Didn't I just told you that I can hear your thoughts?” he said and then cracks up, “That’s not happening, Miss.”

Afterward in time, the car is free from interference again, but with extra awkwardness. After a while, his car stops in front of a not so big but not so small house, which I'm guessing is his place.

Wow, it looks so simple that makes it pleasing to take a gander.

Not bad.

After parking his car, both of us hop out, and I follow him inside. It looks stylishly luxurious from afar, but not when you come close to it. Yes, needless to say, that it's not.

Well… I'm not being out of proportion about this, but it's really messy.

Right, what was I even looking forward to? He is a man residing all by himself.

The plants in the front garden were long lifeless, the grass was knee-high and the paint was coming off from the window.

As Seojun pushes the front door open, a displeasing odor welcomes me. There are food wrappers all over the floor and on the coffee table of the living room with excessive amounts of crumpled papers literally everywhere, and… aren't those empty cans of beer?

“With this look, I'm making a guess that you can already tell what you should do first,” he said as he throws off his knapsack on the couch.

“Do you drink?” I asked, thoroughly paying no attention to what he just told me.

“When I'm frustrated,” he responded directly while looking at the empty cans on the floor, “Well, you can see how I'm frustrated often so…”

“Don't tell me that you're frustrated right now,” I pointed at him and he only chuckles.

“Wait, are you?” I asked one question after another. Well, I'm just kind of scared that he might drink while I'm here and do something that drunk people usually commit, which is not actually nice.

We just met, and I can't actually tell if I should trust him.

But I guess it's too late for that though, I have already brought myself into a situation that is likely to have adverse consequences.

“Well… yes, I am frustrated,” he replied, “Because of you.”

“Oh, wow? Me?” I scoff, “And why is it because of me?”

“Due to the fact that you have been asking too many questions. I feel like I'm hanging out with someone who works for newscasting,” he then walks to the stairs, about to go up, “If you are hungry, feel free to go to the kitchen and feed yourself. I'll be right back.”

After he walks away, I immediately head to the kitchen as I feel a bit hungry. I open the fridge only to see more than a few leftovers there. And of course, stacks of cans of alcohol.

I have decided to close it since there is nothing to munch on and I just went to grab an apple from the basket of fruits placed on the table.

As I go back to the living room, something catches my attention. A picture frame beside the television. I walk to it and pick it up to have a closer look.

I am supposing that they are his parents. He looks more like his Mom, very lovely. And he got his lips from his Dad, so handsome. No wonder why Seojun looks like that.

I smile at the cute sight but abruptly thought about why he was not able to graduate and why his parents threw him away. He must be really hurt and have been so lonely. It may be possible that that is the reason he always drink.”

I heave a deep sigh, I have not even started doing anything yet and I feel so tired already from all the things that happened today.

“Did I just become his slave or his personal maid?” I speak to myself while picking the trash here and there. Yes, I'm cleaning. His boxers are even there on the other side of the sofa. Really disgusting.

And what is this joystick doing under the couch? Aish.

I put all the odds and ends in a garbage bag. I sit down on the couch as I finally finish cleaning. That made me sweat a little.

“Did you wait for too long?” he communicates from behind.

“No, not really. I cleaned while I was waiting for you,” I said and stood up to face him, “Please throw the gar- HEY!”

I was about to tell him to dispose the garbage but I am fast to shut my eyes tightly as I notice that he's not wearing a shirt.

“I'll just go and grab a shirt from the laundry area. The ones I washed might already be dry,” he said as he walks away just like that.

He does not even look bothered at all while I was panicking all over deep inside. I feel my cheeks warm up out of the blue, making me sweat more.

Oh. My. God.

He has broad shoulders and… hey, what am I thinking?

I grab my bag and decide to proceed to do the schoolwork. I am sure that he is going to make me do everything on his work too.

The sooner I start, the sooner I'll be done.

As I am writing, he comes back with a can of beer in his grip. Wow, this is what I have been worrying about.

“You are not allowed to drink at this time, Kim Seojun,” I said, then point at his things, “You're going to assist me to finish all of these.”

“You don't tell me what to do, Yoon Mara,” he sits on the couch near me who's Indian-sitting on the mat, “That exactly is the reason why I brought you here, you're going to finish everything.”

“What—”

“Shut up before I wipe you from the face of this planet,” he cut me off as he begins to drink.

There is the silence after that you can even hear the dripping from the sink. No one dares to speak, since we don't have anything to talk about. I'm preoccupied with what I'm doing anyway.

I take a glance at him out of the blue and caught him staring already. Making me really uncomfortable.

“What do you think you're doing?” I asked as I look down, “Stop doing that, I might melt.”

“You know, you in some way look like someone,” he said, still staring at me as I can still see him in my peripheral vision.

What he said made me smile. “Someone? Who?” I asked, “She must be really pretty then.”

“Alright, Yoon Mara, that's enough,” he said with his voice suddenly deepening, more like, sounding very serious, “She is beautiful, and you're not. So please, just keep your mouth shut.”

I did not dare to reply anymore as I feel that it would be better not to pick a fight with him since I still have a lot to do.

Arguing with him will just be such a waste of time.

Not noticing the time passing by, I finish everything. When I glance at Seojun, his head is resting on his arms that are leaning on his legs as I hear him sniffing. Is he crying?

“Seojun?” I called as I try to edge nearer to him, “Hey.”

“Seojun… what's wrong?” I asked and pat his back, trying to make him feel some easement.

He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. But his tears kept streaming down his cheeks no matter how hard I try to comfort him.

“I…” he utter wearily even though it looks hard for him to speak, “I miss her.”

I thought that he was going to say that he misses his parents, but got disappointed when I hear him say 'her'.

“It's okay,” I try to calm him down and carry on with patting his back.

Is he pertaining to his Mom?

“Why did you have to go and leave me behind? I should've just killed myself and went to my last resting place together with you, so I would not have to suffer like this,” he continues crying. “I'm not sure if I would ever feel the same way again nor meet someone like you, who can fill me to the brim one moment and gut me so entirely to the next.”

Maybe he is talking about the woman that he loves who left him behind.

“I can't say that I regret it, though. It was not your mistake but I knew all along that I was going to play with fire the very moment I met you. If our love could only ever amount to destruction, I was so ready to burn the whole freakin' city to the ground,” he laughs sarcastically, “And I did.”

I could not say a single word and just remain listening. He looks very devastated about what happened in his past.

I really feel sorry for him and yet I can't even do anything to m

“We did. We let it become our own funeral pyre,” he continues, and suddenly, I got pulled up only to get pinned on the couch with his body.

I am just too shocked to react.

Oh no, this is what I've been nervous about.

"You taught me that I can't always have whatever and whoever I want because not everyone is meant to stay in our lives for a long time. Sometimes people leave and they are meant to be gone."

Soon, his face is getting closer and closer.

I don't know what's stopping me from pushing him away. But I feel like my energy is being drained as he gets close.

“I love you,” he mumbled as his lips get closer to mine.

I closed my eyes.