Stuck Between Brothers

Chapter 2: 10 years old

It's been 2 years since my dad died. 2 years without the only parent who actually loved me. Mom has gotten worse. She goes on benders, sometimes leaving me for days at a time. Most of the time, I stay home while she is gone. I dont want CPS to be called on my mom. I don't have the best life, but atleast my boys still live across the street. They are the only constant in my life, and I would live through literal hell if it meant I could be close to them. Mom never hits me. I should be thankful but the verbal abuse is just as bad. Im 10 years old. I'm supposed to be out climbing trees and riding my bike. I'm supposed to be a child. Instead I have to keep the house clean, and cook. I have to wake myself up every day, get myself ready for school and make the bus. I get no kisses goodbye. I get no packed lunches. My mom has never loved me, and she makes sure I know it.

Getting out of bed, I go to my closet to get clothes on for the day. I have a secret spot in my closet I hide clothes that Mrs. Bettie buys for me. Mom spends all her money on booze, and never buys me things I need. Mrs. Bettie takes care of me. Shes buys snacks for my room, she sends over leftovers from the dinners she makes, she buys me new clothes and shoes any time she has to buy them for the boys. She has been an absolute Godsend in my life. I know they know a little about what goes on here, but I never fully let them know the entirety of it.

I still sneak in Josh's window some nights. Theres not anymore fighting that scares me away, but I have nightmares. I wake up some nights screaming and crying. My mom doesn't notice, and if she does, I dont think she cares. Sometimes Lucas will sneak over and crawl in to bed with me. He's never said it, but I think he knows more than he lets on. It's left unspoken between us, and I get better sleep when I'm not alone. Can you blame me? 10 years of my life I've spent sleeping next to one or both boys. Theyre my best friends.

I grab a new shirt out of the closet. It has butterflies on it. I love butterflies. I pull it on and throw some jeans and tennis shoes on before heading to the bathroom. I stop to look at myself in the mirror. I'm tall for a girl. At 10, I'm alread 5' tall. Im a twig too. All arms and legs. I have deep brown eyes and dark brown hair. My hair is super thick and hard to manage, so I mostly keep it pulled in to a ponytail. I decide to try and braid it down today, which I think looks ok. I brush my teeth, rinse my mouth out and run out of the bathroom. I make my way to the kitchen and catch the time on the stove. Shoot. I have 5 minutes to make it to the bus, looks like I get to skip breakfast today. Mom never has money for the cafeteria, so I get to skip lunch too.

Grabbing my backpack, I run out the door and to my bus. With a sigh of relief, I climb on the bus just before it went to take off. I made it. I sit down and curl up in my seat. I forgot my jacket, so thats great.

Once at school, I make my way to the playground. Its where everyone waits for the first bell to ring. Looking around, I spot Josh and Lucas. The only friends I've ever had, and ever needed. Josh is as tall as I am, but Lucas is a little shorter. I was pick at him and call him munchkin, but he swears that one day he will tower over me. We'll see.

As I'm walking to my boys, I feel a sharp tug and sting on my scalp. Im pulled down to the ground and kicked. I look up and see Mia in all her glory.

"Where do you think you're going?" She says. Her little ducklings behing her snicker. I call them the duck squad because she's the leader and theyre the blind followers. There is 3 of them other than Mia. Tonya, Reggie, and Courtney. I hate them all.

"What do you want Mia?" I ask while getting up and dusting myself off. I used to be sad when they picked on me, but I don't care anymore.

"I asked where you're going, freak!" She screeches out. Now the whole playground is looking at us.

"I was walking towards Josh and Lucas. Like I do every morning." I roll my eyes at her and go to move around her, only to be blocked by the other ducks.

"They don't want you near them. They don't even like you, they just pity you." She says while her little ducklings laugh.

"yeah. ok." I say, not looking for anymore argument. Putting my head down, I turn to walk the other direction. I collided with someone.

"ope! Ugh, Im sorry." I say as I look up. I meet the deep blue eyes that bring me the most comfort.

"It's ok Judey Girl." Says Josh as he throws an arm across my shoulders. I feel an arm slip around my waish and know Lucas is on my other side. I relax in to them and feel safe once again.

"You know JuJu, you're my most favorite person in all of the school." Lucas says loud enough for the whole playground to hear. I smile at him, bumping him with my shoulder.

"You're my favorite too, LuLu." I giggle when when i hear a gasp next to me.

"Joshie you're my favorite too!" I say giving him an even bigger smile. They hug me close as we walk closer to the front of the school. I dont even look back at anyone else because all that everatters to me are these two boys right here.

"Sit down Judey girl." Josh tells me while pointing at a step. I sit down, and he settles behind me.

"Did Mia pull your hair?" He asks.

"Yeah, but it's no big deal. I'm ok." I say, while smiling at him behind me. He reaches in to his backpack and pulls out a comb.

"You know, mom taught me to braid. Can I practice on you?" He asks. I nod. I know Mia messed up my hair. Josh likes to take care of me but also likes to make it seem like he is doing it for his benefit and not mine.

"Judey girl, you have the softest hair. You always smell like apples." He says while unbraiding the messy braid.

"It's my shampoo." I say quietly.

As Josh runs the comb through my hair, my stomach decides to rumble. My cheeks turn a bright red.

"JuJu, did you skip breakfast again?" Lucas asks. I nod, trying not to look him in the eye.

"Here." He says while handing me a pack of crackers and juice from his backpack.

"No LuLu, that's your recess snack!" I protest.

"You need it more. I had a big breakfast." He shrugs and shoves the crackers and juice at me again. Im so hungry, I just take it.

"There! All done. You look good as new Judey girl." Josh says and pats me on the head as he gets up.

"Thanks Joshie." Just the , the first bell rings and we head in to our class. I won't see them again until recess.

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The final school bell rings and kids are running out of the school to go to their busses or their waiting parents. I always feel a sting in my chest when I see all the girls greeted by their dads. I'll never get to run and jump in to the arms of my daddy again. I start crying now. I can't stop. Instead of hopping on the bus, I take off to the only place I go when Im missing my dad. On my way, I stop and grab some wild flowers. Making my way through the gate, I walk to his grave. I take the dead flowers out of their spot and replace them with the fresh wild flowers. I tell dad about my week, I tell him about how Josh learned to braid and braided my hair for me this morning. His braid was actually a lot better than mine was. I take scissors out of my backpack and trim the spot around his grave. It makes me feel like I'm connecting with my dad. I think the grounds keeper has noticed because he doesnt do a lot to clean up around his grave anymore. I pull weeds that have sprouted, and wipe down his gravestone. Birds are always leaving their mark on my daddy.

After everything is done, I lay down, resting my head on his headstone. I sing my dads favorite song. The one I was named for. "Hey Jude, don't make it bad

Take a sad song and make it better

Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better

Hey Jude, don't be afraid

You were made to go out and get her

The minute you let her under your skin

Then you begin to make it better" Tears form in my eyes as I lay there and drift off to sleep.

"Hey! Hey girl!" Someone yells at me and pokes me with a stick. Blonking the sleep out of my eyes, I see the sun is no longer awake. The angry man in overalls stares at me.

"You can't be here after dark little girl. Go on and get home now." He says gruffly. I know he means well. We have an understanding. He's just harsh to everyone.

"Yes sir. Sorry about that." I say and jump up. I say bye to my daddy and run home. Praying mom doesnt notice.

Walking up the driveway, I hear things breaking in my house. Welp. Mom noticed.

"Where is she?!" She yells out.

"I'm sure she will be home any minute now." I hear John say. John is my moms newest boyfriend. She wasted no time after dad died to start dating. Always telling me that I couldnt judge how she grieved. "Everyone grieves differently Jude." She'd say when I would get mad. How could she just move on from dad like that?

"Pssst. JuJu. Hey. Pssst. Juuuuuuuuude." I hear from across the street. Lucas was trying his hardest to get my attention without being too loud. I couldnt help but laugh as I looked over at him crouching behind a car.

"She seems mad JuJu. Just come in and stay the night here. Mom and Dad won't care." He says to me. I dont miss yhe concern plaguing those beautiful green eyes.

"LuLu its ok. She will calm down once I go in." I whisper yell at him. Turning around, I go to walk in and hear another thing break. "I'm going to beat her when she gets home." My mom yells out. She's never said anything like that before. Shes also never hit me either. I look over at Lucas whose face is contorted to worry. I shake my head and tell him Ill be over later. Just to let me get my overnight bag. He nods and heads inside his house, looking back at me before closing his door.

Sighing, I walk up to my front door and open it. The sight before me has me feeling instantly sick to my stomach. My stash of clothes that Mrs.Bettie bought me as well as my snack have been torn to pieces and strewn across the living room. All my clothes are ruined. She left me nothing.

SMACK

My ears start ringing from the slap I just took across the cheek. I look up into soulless eyes. Flicking my tongue out, I taste blood across my split lip. She hit me. The woman who birthed me, hit me.

"Where the hell have you been?!" She yells in my face. Her breath is intoxicating. I take shallow breaths so I dont have to smell it too much.

"I went to see dad." I say, still stunned at being slapped.

"You're father is dead and you still love him more than me. He left you and abandoned us and you still spend time out there instead of at home with me? My dinner was not made and the dishes from last night are still in the sink." She yells. Then laughs in my face when I start to tear up.

"I-its the anniversary of his death. I wanted to clean his grave. I fell asleep. I-I'm sorry." I say through tears.

"Ha Ha oh yeah. I forgot today was the day. 2 years since he left you here with me. 2 years of taking care of you. I buy you everything! Yet still somehow you make yourself a charity case to the neighbors. Do you know how embarrassing it is to see that you have been having them buy you clothes and food?" She says as she grabs my arms hard enough to leave bruises.

"Theyve been taking care of me for 2 years and you're just now noticing? Real nice ma. Real nice. You're so attentive to your own daughter that it took you two years and snooping to figure it out!" I choke out. More out of anger. My body feels numb as she slaps me again.

"I will NOT be talked to this way in my own home." She screeches out at me.

"THE HOME THAT MY DADDY BOUGHT!" I yell at her. This time she punches me in the nose. I feel it burst blood everywhere.

"Go be the cheap w***e you are and crawl in those boys window. Stop bleeding everywhere and get out of my house!" She yells at me. She opens the doors and shoves me out of it. I fall back and went to catch myself and felt a crack. My wrist is screaming at me. I think its broken and I cant help the sob that escapes my lips. I can go to Josh and Lucas', their parents will call the cops and I'll be taken from them and everything forever. I wont be in my daddys house anymore. I won't be near my boys anymore. Theyll probably send me to some orphanage in the city. I cant have that. So instead I get up and walk to where my window is. I sit on the ground outside of my window to wait for my mom to fall asleep in her drunken stupor.

After another few hours, I can hear my moms snores echoing through the house. Using what energy I can muster, I open my window and climb in. I tiptoe to my door and close it and lock it. My bedroom is destroyed. My mattress is on the floor, holes all through it. My blanket is ripped apart. It looks like she spilt her precious booze all over my dressers and floors. The bedrooms reeks of vodka and cigarettes. I slump down my wall and break out in to a silent sob. She hit me tonight. I'm pretty sure she broke my wrist. My nose might be broken too. This is what my life has turned in to.

As quietly as possible, I start trying to piece togethery room again. I can clean up more tomorrow when she leave. My wrist is hurting so bad right now. I grab a piece of fabric and shove it in my mouth as I try to move my mattress back on to the bed. Screaming in pain, the fabric muffled the sounds and I was able to move my bed back. I found the biggest piece of my blanket left over, crawled in to my bed and went to sleep.

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The next morning, I am startled awake. Theres someone banging on my bedroom door. In a panic, I jump up and rush to my window. I pulled the window up with a whimper. I forgot about my wrist. Looking down at it, I cringe. its nasty and purple. Definitely broken. Crawling through the window, I jump down and hear another crack. There goes my ankle. As I fall to the ground, I lamd on my wrist again. The pain being too much, everything starts to fade out.

"Over here!" I hear someone yell before everything goes black.