Stuck Between Brothers

Chapter 10: Why Me?

Its been 2 weeks since my birthday and things are going ok. Lucas refuses to acknowledge my presence but I really dont care. He made his bed and he can lay in it. Me and Tiara are glued to the hip. We have always been close, but with Lucas out of the picture, we're closer. She basically lives with me. After the restaurant kiss, Josh has been hanging around more. I still cry sometimes for what I had with Lucas. I really did love him. I'm not sure if I was in love with him, but I definitely loved him. He was my best friend, we did everything together. I mourn the loss of my best friend more than the loss of my boyfriend.

Looking over, I see that Josh is still here. He snuck in my window last night and snuggled with me. It's absolutely crazy how the roles have completely reversed.

Josh looks so peaceful when he sleeps. He has long blonde lashes that rest perfectly on his cheek. Stubble that hasnt been shaved in a few days. His lips are pefectly shaped and full. Blonde hair brushes his eyebrows. Trying to be sneaky, I reach over to push his hair back softly.

"Are you done staring at me?" I jump up.

"Jesus Josh! I thought you were asleep!" I yell at him. He pops his eyes open and gives me his million dollar smile. He sits up slightly resting his head on his hand.

"How'd you sleep Judey Girl?" I notice his eyes go to my lips and back up.

"I slept good. And you?" I ask awkwardly.

"Better than ever." He gives me a wink and leaned in to kiss me. I shot my hand up over my mouth to stop him.

"Morning breath!" I giggle and jump out of bed. Heading to the bathroom, I run in to my Uncle Donnie.

"Whats got you up so early Princess?" He kisses the top of my head.

"I dont know. I just have so much on my mind." I wrapped my arms around him for a big hug.

"Want to talk about it?" He says with concern. I look at my room, nervous about leaving Josh in there by himself for too long. Uncle Donnie catches me.

"Go home Josh!" He yells. I look up at him in pure shock. How did he know? I swear he can read my mind when he responds with,

"Josh is loud. I don't think that boy knows the meaning of 'inside voice'." He rolls his eyes and I giggle.

"Let me go to the bathroom real quick and then we'll talk." I say as I make a break for the bathroom.

I get in and immediately start to brush my teeth. I feel my mouth start to water and my stomach turning. Please no. Im so tired of throwing up. Ever since my party, it hasnt stopped. Some days are better than others but I still feel hungover most of the time.

"Jude, you ok in there?" My Uncle asks through the door.

"Yeah! Just give me a minute please." I get up and start washing my face and blowing my nose. Why does my nose always decide to run when I puke? Its literally the worst. I brush my teeth again and rinse with mouthwash, then head out the door.

"Are you ok? You've been throwing up quite a bit, Princess." Uncle Donnie asks as he puts the back of his hand to my forehead.

"I'm fine, Uncle. Its just a lingering hangover from my birthday." I swat his hand away. I ended up twlling him everything that happened and how I got drunk. He gave me a lecture but that was it. Im 18 now, he doesn't feel like he has to parent over me. I should be "smart enough to make good decisions" as he says.

"Honey, hangovers don't last that long. This is something different. Lets go to urgent care after breakfast." He looks really worried so I agreed.

"Now, tell me whats troubling you." He said while getting eggs and bacon out of the fridge.

"It's just that, Lucas was my best friend. We did everything together and went everywhere together. Its not fair that I lost my best friend in all this." I sigh.

"Well, he did make mistakes and I'm still pissed at him, but maybe it's time for the two of you to talk?" He throws a kitchen towel over his shoulder.

"I mean, I would love to talk to him about mending our friendship, but I think he only cares about fixing the relationship. I dont want to be with him like that anymore. He cheated on me. No matter what the circumstances were, he still cheated. It wouldnt be fair to myself to just accept him back in. " I steal a piece of bacon, while he swats at my hand.

"You're right. You deserve better than that, but maybe talking can clear the air and some tension. You may regret it if you dont try." I shrug. He has a point.

"When did you get so smart Uncle?" I joke as I nudge him with my shoulder.

"I got a lot of years behind me, Princess. I have a lot of regrets in my past, too." He nudges me back.

"So whats going on with you and Josh?" He asks with a look. He starts scrambling us some eggs while i pop some bread in the toaster.

"Thats my other issue. Ive been in love with Josh for as long as I can remember. He just stopped talking to me a few years ago, with no warning. Me and Lucas grew closer and Lucas told me he was in love with me. I had feelings for Lucas and wanted to try, but I never lost feelings for Josh. It wasnt entirely fair to Lucas but he knew my feelings for Josh going in to our relationship. I was happy with Lucas, I really loved him, but I wasnt IN love with him. I think thats why it bothers me so much to lose our friendship, and not our relationship. My heart belonged to Josh, and it still does. Im scared Josh will get over this 'Knight in shining armor' moment and then I'll be left broken hearted all over again." I breathe out and start buttering the toast and Uncle Donnie makes our plates.

"Well have you told Josh how you feel?" He makes a sandwhich out of his breakfast.

"No. I'm enjoying having him close, I'm scared to ruin that. Those boys have been my life for 18 years. I cant lost both of them back to back." I take a bite of my eggs. Immediately after biting in to them, I felt a crunch. An eggshell must have stowed away. Jumoing up and running to the bathroom, I barely make it to the toilet before I lose my breakfast.

"Alright, Princess. Brush your teeth and lets go." He said. I cant argue with him because I truly feel awful. I clean my mouth and toilet up and stand to brush my teeth. The room starts spinning and I try to hold on to the counter to steady myself.

"U-U-Un..." I try to call out for my uncle but then everything went black.

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I wake up to bright lights shining in my eyes. I have to blink a few times to adjust to the lights. My head is pounding. Looking over, I see Uncle Donnie laying back in a chair with his feet propped up on my bed. He snoring lightly. If this isnt De Ja Vu, I dont know what is.

"Uncle Donnie?" I nudge him with my foot.

"UNCLE DONNIE!" I repeat a little louder and kick his foot harder.

"Huh!" He jumps out of the chair and looks around frazzled.

"Oh thank God Jude!" He throws his arms around me and gives me a big hug.

"What happened?" I ask.

"You fainted. You hit your head on the bathtub as you went down. got yourself a nice little goose egg there." He pokes at my forehead.

"OUCH! Geez Uncle" I swat his hand away.

"Thats what ouch buttons are for." He pokes me again.

"So.. uhh..Jude.." He rubs the back of his neck looking uncomfortable.

"Whats going on?" I ask feeling nervous.

"Well...uhh...They figured out what the problem was." He stammers.

"Whats wrong with me?!" I start to panic. Do I have cancer? Am I going to die? So many thoughts are racing through my head right now, and judging by Uncle Donnie's worried expression and tear filled eyes, I'm not too far off.

"Umm.. uhh.." He cant even bring himself to tell me. This is bad. Hes crying!

Suddenly my door busts open and Josh comes running in.

"Judey Girl! You can't go scaring me like that!" He crawls in my bed and wraps his arms around me.

"Josh, do you know whats wrong with me. Uncle cant seem to form a sentence" I jut my thumb at the tongue tied man.

"I dont know. He wouldnt tell me anything. When I heard the crash in the bathroom, I was so scared! How are you feeling, you ok?" He asks.

Then it hit me. I poured out my feeling about Josh to my uncle and he was still there. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

"Uhhh. You were still there?" I ask dumbly.

"Yeah, I was." He winks at me. What does that mean? I felt my face heat up. I suddenly feel my stomach turning again, and Josh saw the look in my eyes. He grabbed the trash can beside the bed and shoved it to my face.

"Let it all out Judey Girl." He says while holding my hair back and rubbing circles on my back.

I saw Uncle Donnie move to push the nurse call button.

"Nurses station." The voice says through the speaker.

"Uhh hey, can you send the dr in?" My uncle asks.

"Sure thing."

After a bit of dry heaving, I hear a knock on my door and the dr comes in.

"How are you feeling Jude?" The dr asks.

"I feel ok. Im just tired of throwing up." I say.

"Let me get a nurse in here with something to help with that." He opens my door and sticks his head out to talk to a nurse. Josh is still on the bed with me, he's found a brush and started to comb through my birds nest of hair.

"Sorry about that." The dr comes back with a nurse following him. She puts something in my IV and I start to feel my stomach settle a little.

"Did your Uncle here have a chance to tell you whats going on?" The dr asked looking between me and Uncle Donnie.

"He couldnt form a sentence. Is it bad? Am I going to die?" I rush out in a panic.

"No, nothing like that sweetheart. Is this your boyfriend?" The dr looks at Josh.

"Uhh."

"Yes." I look at Josh in shock.

"Well I have some good news and some bad news." The dr says.

"Well come on doc, out with it!" I yell.

"Youre pregnant!" He says excitedly. I felt all the air leave my lungs and all I can hear is the sound of my heart beating.

"I-I-I dont understand. Im on birth control." I said.

"Well birth control isnt fool proof and things like antibiotics can affect it. I see here about 6 weeks ago you were given some for strep throat." He says while looking through my chart.

"Also you have something called Hyperemesis Gravidarum. It causes severe morning sickness. It made you dehydrated and malnourished and caused you to faint. You will need to come in weekly for an IV to prevent this from happening again. Im having a nurse bring in an ultrasound machine now so we can take a look." It sounds like hes talking to me through a tunnel.

I look over at Josh sitting next to me, his jaw is clenched. He lets go of my hand and abruptly stands up and leaves the room. I felt a sob leave my mouth as I look at Uncle Donnie who has tears running down his cheeks.

"ahem." The dr clears his throat. "I see that you may need some time to process this. Ill be back later to check on you." Then he leaves the door.

"Why me?" I was so careful. I havent graduated yet. I still have college. I cant take care of a baby! I dont even have a job. I cant raise a baby by myself.

By myself.

Oh My God.

Lucas.