Stuck Between Brothers

Chapter 4: 14 years old

Its been 4 years since my mom was arrested. I live with my Uncle Donnie in my house. I was so excited when he was able to make it work. My first week home from the hospital, I stayed at the boys' house. Uncle Donnie wanted to clear the house out and bring in all new furniture. He left my dads chair, though, after I begged him to. He also gathered what he could of dads shirts and had them made in to a quilt for me. Thats my most prized possession. I went to Josh's window last night. I had another nightmare, and had to get out of my old room. Thankfully his parents finally bought him a bigger bed, so when Lucas came in, we all fit comfortably. I'm laying here between my two best friends. We each still use our own blankets.

Josh rolls over and throws his arm around me. I soak up the cuddle. I'm laying on my back wish Josh cuddling me on one side and Lucas with his legs thrown over me on the other. I go to move Lucas' legs off me, and Josh wraps his arms tighter around me. Thats when I feel it. Pressing in to my hip. I immediately freeze from the pure horror.

"JOSH!" I scream. He jolts up. Looking at me, and his arm around me. He looks confused.

"Ummm bro." Lucas laughs as he points at Joshs center. Josh looks down, his eyes go wide, and his face turns a deep shade of red. He jumps out of bed and takes off out the door. Lucas is still laying next to me laughing with actual tears coming out of his eyes.

"LuLu!" I groan and throw the pillow over my face. He leans over, lifts the pillow and blows a raspberry on my cheek before taking off out of the room. I quickly hoo up, grab my overnight bag, and jump out of the window. No way was I going to sit there for that awkwardness.

When I get home, I open my window and try to sneak in as quietly as possible. Once in, I turn to shut my window and hear a throat clear in my doorway.

"Most parents would be upset seeing their teenager sneaking in, in the morning." Uncle Donnie says, raising his eyebrow at me.

"You already knew where I was Uncle." I say. I start going around my room, grabbing clothes for the day.

"We need to talk about that. You guys are getting a little old to be sneaking through eachothers windows now, princess. I don't think it's appropriate anymore." Uncle Donnie looks at me hard.

"What are you saying Uncle?" I raise my eyebrow at him.

"I'm saying that this was the last time I allow you to go to their house in the middle of the night. And Lucas better not try to come here either." He looks at me pointedly.

"Seriously?! Theyre my best friends. Thats it. There isnt any funny business." I plead with my uncle.

"Thats enough Jude. Those are teenage boys and I will treat them as such from here on out." His tone is final. Theres no arguing with him when he's like this.

"I hope you know, you're taking my only peace." I say with so much anger.

"You will learn to find new peace." He says.

"Can we still do sleepovers as long as you know beforehand? Ill sleep on the couch. You can talk to their parents and make sure. Please don't take them away from me!" I plead with tears in my eyes.

"I'll think about it. Now, get ready for school, princess." He kisses my head and walks out of my room. I feel like my entire world is shattering around me, and it's just not fair!

I go to the bathroom and start my morning routine. I braid my hair the way Josh likes it, and wear Lucas' favorite red shirt. My whole life is these boys. Whats going to happen if I can't see them anymore? Grabbing my back pack from my room, I run to the kitchen.

"Hey Uncle. Thank you. I don't agree with what you said, but thank you for caring about me." I say. I meam every word. He went from a single mans life, to having a preteen daughter. He jumped in to the role and made sure I never went without. He stuck by my side through uncomfortable times, like getting my first period. He always bought me whatever clothes and shoes I wanted. He uprooted his entire life for me and I will forever be thankful.

"Of course Princess. I love you so much and just want you to be safe and protected." He says.

"Can you drive me to school?" I ask. I still don't know how to face Josh right now.

"If you're out the door in the next 5 minutes, I can." He gets up and puts his coffee mug in the sink. I grab an apple and run out the door to his car.

The drive to school was quiet. I finally broke the silence.

"It's been 6 years." I whisper.

"I know. I was thinking maybe we could do a picnic this afternoon. We can take some flowers and clean up his grave." He looks at me with a sadness in his eyes. I lost my dad, but he lost his brother. He feels guilty for not seeing the signs of my mothers neglect sooner. It's not his fault, I was good at faking happiness around him. Had I'd known that he would've taken me and gotten the house, I wouldve told him sooner.

"Id like that Uncle." I say as I open the door to get out of the car. I quickly blow him a kiss and make my way to the courtyard. I see Lucas, but I dont see Josh. Lucas was right. He shot up and now towers over me. He also grew in to himself. I have to admit, he is gorgeous. His beautiful brown hair and the most amazing green eyes still mesmerize me. All the girls trip over themselves just to get his attention. He rarely gives them any attention, the only girl he really hangs out with is me.

"Hey LuLu!" I say as I run up to him. He stands and quickly grabs me in to a hug.

"Hey JuJu. Where'd you run off to this morning? Mom made you pancakes." He says in my ear.

"I umm.. I just went home. I forgot my bra!" I tell him the only thing I can think.

"Oh." Was all he said as he set me down. The girls that were crowded around, saunter off. Giving me the stink eye as they go.

"I thought Josh's little friend scared you off." Lucas says. I can see amusement dancing around in his eyes. He is eating this up!

"LUCAS!" I yell and punch him in the arm.

"Ow JuJu! That hurt!!" He winces as he rubs his arm.

"Speaking of Josh, where is he?" I ask.

"There. " Lucas says while pointing across the courtyard. I follow his finger and what I see makes my stomach drop. Leaning against the tree is Mia. Josh is leaning over her and kissing her! MY JOSH. Hes kissing the girl who has made it her mission to terrorize me.

"Oh." Is all I can say. I felt my heart break a little on the inside. Im not sure why, but I feel jealous?I quickly get myself together and shake it off.

"By the way," I turn to face Lucas, "Uncle Donnie said I cant sleep over anymore. He also said you cant sleep over either. He said 'its inappropriate'." I say with air quotes.

"Are you serious right not JuJu?" Lucas really looks upset. I nod.

"I-is this because of what happened with Josh this morning?" He asks.

"No. Im taking that to the grave. He just said yall are teenage boys and its time he starts treating you as such." I sigh.

"Oh! But he did say we might can do sleepovers still as long as im not sneaking out at night, and I stay on the couch." I quickly add hoping not to totally ruin the day.

"I guess thats ok. It wont be the same though." Lucas looks complately bummed.

"What wont be the same?" I hear behind us. Turning, I say Josh walking up to us, hand in hand with Mia.

"Nothing." I say quickly before Lucas can speak. I grab Lucas by the hand and pull him away.

"Hey! Where you guys going?" Josh yells. I just keep moving, I dont want to talk to him or even see him. He now disgusts me.

"You ok?" I look at Lucas who is staring at me with worry.

"Peachy." I say.

"JuJu, you have to come over after school and get your blanket. You left it this morning." Oh shoot. I cant believe I left that behind.

"Ok LuLu. Ill swing by before bed and grab it." I tell him as the bell rings. I turn to walk towards class, only to be pulled back.

"Its ok JuJu, I can bring it over. " He says in my hair while crushing me to his chest. He kisses the top of my head and sends me on my way.

I cant help but feel like today was the start of an entirely different life. One I was not ready to live. I could already feel a divide, and Im not ready to let them go.