Stuck Between Brothers

Chapter 11: Decisions

Pregnant. I'm pregnant. I feel frozen in time.

"Well get through this together, princess." Uncle Donnie tells me. I just stare at him. He grabs my hand and tries to be supportive.

Together.

Thats what this baby's parents should be. We're not together. I refuse to be with someone who cheated on me.

Together.

Josh told the dr we are together. Judging by the way he stormed out of here, that's not happening anymore. I was shocked that he said it. I mean we had kissed a few times and he slept over a lot. I didn't know thats what he wanted.

"Uncle Donnie?" I tried to get his attention, my voice a whisper. My voice sounds foreign to me. Like somebody else is talking through me.

"Yes, Princess?" He leans in so he can hear me.

"What am I going to do? How can I raise a baby?" I asked.

"There's options out there sweetheart. We can look and see what you feel comfortable doing."

Options. That word sounds weird.

"Options?" I ask confused.

"Yes. You can do adoption. You also have the choice on if you want to terminate the baby or not."

Adoption.

Terminate.

I cant terminate. No offense to those who choose to do it, but I cant bring myself to. Maybe adoption? That might work. The baby would need a responsible parent. Not a high school student who barely turned 18.

18.

My birthday bonfire was 2 weeks ago. I took the antibiotics 6 weeks ago. Then something clicked. The numb feeling went away and I lost it. I screamed and cried. Uncle Donnie grabbed me up and held me tight.

"What's going on Jude? What is it?" He was rubbing my back while I cried in to his chest. Snot and tears soaked the front of his shirt and I was having trouble catching my breath.

"I-I-I My b-birthday wa-was two weeks a-ago." I could feel my heart breaking. This life inside of me never had a chance with such an irresponsible mother.

"Because you drank." He said more to himself than to me. I just nodded my head and let my heart break even more.

Uncle Donnie reached over and hit the nurse call button. I could hear him talking but I couldnt make out what he said through my sobs. I heard the door open but I dont know who came in. Probably the dr. my eyes were shut and I couldnt think of anything else.

I started to feel my body relax but I could still feel the tears streaming down my cheeks. What did I do? I never drink and the one time I did, I was pregnant. PREGNANT. My baby. My baby will have fetal alcohol syndrome. I didnt know much about it but I know it happens to babies who's moms drank during pregnancy. My baby didnt deserve this. I felt myself start to fall asleep and I couldnt fight it anymore. I let the darkness open up and swallow me whole.

-----------------------------------------------

"You need to leave."

"No! She is my responsibility!"

"You can talk to her about this later, right now you need to go!"

I felt something pull me closer. I felt warmth next to me.

"He's right. She will talk to you when she's ready." I heard a voice come from under me. I could feel the vibrations from him talking against my head. So my head is laying on someone, and there is three people talking.

"Youve done enough damage, Lucas. She is really aick and doesn't need this right now." Make that 4 people talking. I move closer to the body next to me. My eyes flutter as I try to open them up.

"Shhhh. Hey Judey girl. Go back to sleep." I hear Josh whisper in my ear. Josh! He's back!

I sit straight up, my eyes wide open and look at him. I couldnt stop the smile on my face.

"You came back." I wrap my arms around him and hug him close, scared he would disappear if I let go.

"Ju-Jude. Youre choking me." Josh rasps out.

Letting his neck go, but moving my hands to hold his, I mumbled a sorry. He gave me his million dollar smile that I love so much. Someone cleared their throat at the door. I look over and see those beautiful green eyes. Lucas was here, in my room.

"Jude?" He looks like he's been crying. I hate seeing my best friend cry, even though he hurt me the way he did. I couldnt help myself, I opened my arms to him and he ran right in to me.

"I-Im so sorry Jude!" He cries into my shoulder. I just hold him while he cried. After a few minutes he pulled back and wiped his face off.

"I'll go with you to the clinic." Lucas says. What does he mean clinic?

"You know, to terminate the pregnancy." He searches my eyes. Is he serious right now?

"I'm not terminating the pregnancy, Lucas." I stated. I could hear the finality in my voice.

"We're still im high school Jude! I'm not ready to be a dad. You are not ready to be a mom." He argues.

"I'm not terminating and thats final. Nobody asked you to step up and be a dad. Nobody asked for your opinion. Why are you even here?" I can feel anger rising up.

"Jude, you're pregnant with my baby. Of course I would be here!" He yells the last part. "I love you Jude, but I dont think youre thinking clearly."

"No, Lucas. Im not pregnant with your child. You lost all rights to call this your baby when you decided to terminate for me. I've never been someone you could boss around. I can think for myself, and I decided to keep MY CHILD." I put emphasis on 'my child' so he would understand.

"You're making a mistake Jude. You can't raise a baby alone." I roll my eyes at him and was going to say something but was cut off.

"She wont be alone." I look over to Josh who is sending daggers at his brothers.

"She will have us to help her." Tiara said from the other side of the room. I forgot she was here.

"She will have all the support she needs right here with me." Uncle Donnie adds.

"You got your answer Lucas. I wont ask you for anything. I wont even put you on the birth certificate. You are free and clear to go. Nobody ever has to know to knocked me up." I state.

"Jude, I want us to be friends again. I want to be together again, I'm just not ready to be a dad." He has tears welling up in his eyes.

"I dont need you to be ready. I'm ready. I'm doing this with or without your support. I dont want to be with you anymore. You broke my heart Lucas. I dont know if I'll ever look at you and not see that image from the car. You were my bestfriend. LuLu and JuJu. We got in to trouble, we stayed up all night watching movies. All my memories have you in them. When I lost my dad, when my mom hurt me, every single night I had a nightmare you were there. You were my first everything. And you broke me. Just like that. threw everything away for someone as gross and rotten as Mia. I cant be with you again Lucas. That trust was broken. But maybe we can build our friendship back. I'd like you to stay a part of my life. Ill always love you and need you in my corner, but I cant be with you." Great. Now I'm crying.

"I can't watch you be with him." Lucas looks at Josh.

"Then don't. " Josh said. He pulled me closer to him and further away from Lucas. I turned and burried my head in his chest and took deep calming breaths.

"What do I tell Mom and Dad?" Lucas asks.

"Nothing." Josh states.

"Well they're going to notice her belly getting bigger." Lucas mumbles.

"I said you dont need to tell them anything. Not that we were going to keep it a secret." Josh holds me tighter.

"As a matter of fact, nobody outside this room will know the baby is yours." Lucas stares at Josh obviously confused. Im confused too. I look at Uncle Donnie and he shrugs. Tiara has a small smile playing on her lips.

"What are you talking about Josh?" I break the silence.

"As far as everyone else is concerned, the baby is mine. I'll sigh the birth certificate. Ill tell mom and dad, so they can still be in their grandchilds life." What? Is he serious right now?

"I can't ask you to do that Josh! You have so many things you wanted to do! I cant hold you back. No. Ill just claim the baby as some random persons." I argue.

"You're not asking me to do anything Jude! I want to do this. I love you. Ive loved you for years. I learned to braid because you liked your hair played with. I kept my window unlocked for you to climb through. I always kept extra blankets and pillows in my room for you. I even cleaned out a drawer for you to put clothes and stuff in so you wouldnt have to have an overnight bag anymore. We didnt get to use it because I'm an i***t and panicked when I woke up that one morning. Either way, I love you. I was so happy when you came in my room that one night. I held you close and you felt right being in my arms. I broke up with Mia that next morning when she started being crazy. I went to get you from Lucas' room so we could talk and when I heard yall, my heart broke. I watched over the last few months of yall being together and it hurt, but I always wanted to be with you. I want to have a family with you. I want to grow old with you. I want to sing and dance in the kitchen together when we have gray hair and walkers. I want nothing more than this right here." He said as he places his hand on my belly. I was crying even harder against him while he held me. All I wanted was to hear these words from his mouth. Thats all I dreamed about for years. He chooses now to tell me? I can't ask him to put his life on hold and take care of my problems.

"Lucas, I think it's time for you to go." Uncle Donnie stands up to escort Lucas out. Before he leaves he looks at me, I can see how broken he is.

"I love you, too, Jude." He whispers as he walks out of the room.

"Told ya so!" I hear Tiara snicker from the other side of the room.

"Didnt I tell you a few weeks ago that Josh had it bad for you. But noooooo, 'he just likes to take care of me sometimes'. Yeah right." She tosses her hair back and walks over to me.

"Your secret is forever safe with me, J. You know that. I get to be an aunt! This is so exciting! We will have to go to the store and shop!" She squeals at that last part. Im still in a daze. Josh just told me he was in love with me, and has always been.

I turn to look at him and stare into those beautiful blue eyes.

"Why did you never tell me, Josh? Why now? What changed?"

"Well...uhh..." He rubs the back of his neck.

"I heard you and your uncle talking two days ago. You said you were in love with me and had always been. I was trying to test the waters and see if you felt the same as me but when I heard that I knew I couldnt let you slip through my fingers again." He holds his breath, waiting for my response.

"I dont know what to say..." I look down at my lap, studying the design of the hospital gown.

"Say that you will have a baby with me." He lifts my chin to look in my eyes. I just nod my head. His face relaxes and his million dollar smile spreads across his cheeks. I cant help but smile back. He grabs my face and kisses me hard. I felt happy right in this moment with him, but something was still eating away at me.

I push him away from me and say,

"So what, we tell people I cheated on Lucas?"

"Dont worry, girl! I got you!" Tiara said. Confused, me and Josh turn to look at her.

"We will just tell people that you and Lucas broke up month ago, then got back together shortly after. That way you can say you didn't cheat on him!" She grins.

"But it looks even worse that I jumped in to his brothers bed during our short break." This is a mess.

"And? Mia slept with both of them, no big deal. Nobody is going around talking trash about her." She says confidently.

"Thats because thats normal Mia behavior. "

"Either way, its your life Jude. You cant let what people think dictate what you do and how you feel. We just need Lucas to get on board with our little white lie and were golden." She claps her hands together like she just solved world hunger.

"Lucas would never agree to that." I tell her.

"Ill deal with Lucas. You just worry about getting better." Josh says. We hear a knock at the door and turn to see who's there. Uncle Donnie walks in with the dr behind him. A nurse follows pushing in something.

"So are we ready to see the little jelly bean?" The dr asks. I look at Josh and he smiles and nods his head. Tiara squeals and runs to the other side of my bed.

"Ill need you to lift your gown for me." I did as he said and pulled my gown up. Blushing at the fact that Josh and Uncle Donnie just saw my panties.

"This might be a little cold." He squirts some gel on my belly and takes a little wand and moves it around.

"Ah there it is" He points to the baby.

"Umm doc?" I ask. I have never been pregnant before but I'm pretty sure a 6 week fetus isnt supposed to be that big.

"Well looks like youre further along than we thought." He starts measuring the baby, and played the heartbeat for us. My eyes flooded with tears looking at this little miracle inside me.

"I'd youre about 15 weeks along now." I gasped.

"I took the plan B pill." I said. "I took the plan B pill a few times. Ive been on birth control the entire time! I-I-I drank on my birthday two weeks ago. Ive eaten horribly." I cover my mouth in pure horror.

"Your baby will be fine. Plenty of women continue birth control while not knowing they are pregnant. Birth control and Plan B do not harm the baby. As for drinking two weeks ago, how much and how often do you drink?" The dr asks.

"That was the first time I ever drank. I had like 6 beers." I said through tears.

"Hmmm. I dont think it will do any harm. dont drink anymore and we'll be sure to do check ups every 2 weeks to make sure baby is growing properly." I nod at him.

"Would you like to know the s*x of the baby?" He smiles at me. I look at Josh and he has a big grin on his face. He nods his head at me, signaling he wanted to know.

"S-S-Sure." I stutter out.

"Its a girl!" The dr cheers. He prints us out a few images to hold on to.

"I think you're good to go on home. I'll print the discharge papers and appointment slips for you. Ill have a nurse come in to take your IV out and get you home. I want you to stay home and rest for the next week and come back to see me at my office. We will discuss a treatment plan from there. Ill print out an excuse for school for the next week." He smiles kindly at me and walks out of the room.

"We're having a baby girl." Josh says and kisses my cheek.

"We?" My Uncle Donnie asks. He gives me a look.

"Uhh I agreed with what Josh said about letting him step up..." I shrug my shoulders.

"Are you sure thats a good idea, Jude?" He asks.

"Yeah, I mean, we do love eachother and want to be together. Mrs. Bettie and Mr. Andrews deserve to be in their grandchilds life. They are like parents to me, I could never keep them from this baby." I look at Josh and he smiles.

"This is even better!" Tiara yells out.

"Whats even better?" Josh asked.

"Well the time adds up perfectly. When Jude snuck into your house that night, you can say yall did the deed then! The time adds up perfectly!" Well, that solves that issue.

"I mean it could work. It does add up and the next morning is when...." I trail off. I dont exactly feel comfortable discussing this with my uncle in the room. Josh nods his head while he thinks.

"It definitely works out. Wont there be question though as to if its mine or Lucas' since the time was so close together?" He asks. He does have a point.

"I dont think people will question it. We can even let Lucas off the hook and tell him that the baby ended up being Josh's anyways." Tiara says.

"I dont like this." Uncle Donnie pipes up.

"Its really the only way Uncle. I promised to keep Lucas out of this. When I stayed over at Josh's, his whole family plus Mia saw me in his bed." I tell him. He looks long and hard at me before he sighs.

"If this is what you want, Ill support you." He says.

"A baby girl." Josh says with a big smile on his face.

"I hope she looks like her mama." He pulls me close and kisses me.

I feel bad about lying to everyone, but this seems to be our only option right now. Especially concerning Lucas.