Stuck Between Brothers

chapter 14: Moving on

After we finish packing we make our way outside to Uncle Donnie's truck. He throws his things in the back and grabs my bags to toss in the back as well.

"Alright princess, you ready?" He asks opening up the passenger door for me.

"I have one last thing that I need to do." I tell him while biting my lip. Its midnight and I know that theyre all probably asleep, but I still feel so nervous. I walk across the street and leave each letter in their cars. They never lock the doors and I dont want one person to find them and throw them all away. When I'm done, I just stand there in the middle of the street staring at their house. So many good memories were made in that with with that family. My heart feels empty knowing that this is the end for all of us. Mrs. Bettie always wanted a daughter, and I wish things were different and she could be apart of my little girl's life. Mr. Andrews was always a father figure to me and I dont think that I will ever get over losing him. He stepped up in a big way before and after my dad died. I made sure him and Mrs.Bettie both knew just how much i appreciate and love them. That I will never forget them and how they loved me like I was their own. It f*****g hurts when I think about the things Bettie said to me. It wasnt fair that she disnt even stop to ask. It f*****g hurts to think about how Mr. Andrews is disappointed in me. It just all f*****g hurts.

I don't let anymore tears fall for the family who has broken the last piece of my heart. Their sons have dried me out for all the tears I've shed for them. I'm tired of crying. Tired of feeling. Other than my uncle, I don't plan to let anyone else get even remotely close enough to hurt me like that again. I turn to look at my house. The house I fought so hard to stay in after my dad died. The house that has more bad memories than good. Its toxic. Everything that happened in that house is a toxic memory I never want to relive. Living with Uncle Donnie helped heal me and we made some good memories there, but I still see my drunken mom when I look at the house. I still remember the night that her drunken stupor caused dad to leave and led to his death. If she wouldve just been normal, my dad would still be with me.

Arms wrap around my shoulders and I look up to see my uncle looking at me with pain in his eyes. I don't deserve him. He has given up so much for me and here I am, being a burden again. Sighing, I walk to the truck and climb in.

"Ill hire some movers to come and pack up the rest of the house." He tells me as we pull out of the driveway.

"Can you make sure they dont spill anything about where theyre delivering our stuff to?" I ask.

"I can. You cant avoid them forever, Jude. You are carrying a member of their family." He says giving me a look. I bite my lip and try to figure out the best way to tell him that they wont come looking.

"Uhhh... About that." I chuckle nervously.

"What?" He looks at me out of the corner of his eye.

"I told them I lost the baby." I chew on my thumb and avoid eye contact with him.

"Jude! You wanted to fix a lie only to just tell another? They deserve to know."

"They dont deserve s**t! Lucas never wanted this baby. Josh ended up being some kind of crazy person the moment I asked for things to slow down, and lied to his whole family! Their parents didnt even try to get the truth, they just took his word for it and you heard how Mrs. Bettie talked to me. She didnt even believe this baby was their grandchild." I turn my entire body towards him and look. I will always be heartbroken by losing them in my life, but the way they treated me and acted towards me showed me how they really felt and for that, I feel no guilt in hiding my daughter from them.

"Look, I know thats how you feel right now, but she will want to know her other family when she gets older. What are you going to tell her then?" He challenges.

"Ill tell her the truth. I will tell her everything about Lucas and who he was to me. Ill tell her how much his parents meant to me and how close I grew up with him and Josh. I have pictures of them to show her. I wont lie to her, but Im not bringing around people who didnt want her. Didnt want us. She will never know the heartbreak that I feel from them." I say. He just looks at me and sighs.

"Well get comfortable, kiddo, we got a long drive ahead of us."

"Uncle Donnie?"

"hmmm?"

"I know I said I wanted to go to grandma and grandpas but can we go somewhere new. Somewhere far away from here where nobody knows anything about us or even the people we could know?" Its not that I dont want to be around my grandparents, but they live closer to that small town than I want to be. We currently live in the middle of Arkansas and I want to be as far from here as possible.

"East coast or west coast?" He asks. I really dont deserve them.

"Lets flip a coin?" I suggest. He pulls the truck over and studies me. He digs in the cup holder and finds a quarter.

"Heads for east, tails for west. You ready?" He asks. I nod my head. He flips the coin and we both look at it.

"East coast it is!" He claps his hands together.

"Now which state?" We both stare at eachother for a few minutes.

"Well do we want to live close to the beach?" I ask. Of course I want to live close to the beach, but I want him to make the choice.

"I think the beach would be a great change of scenery." I let out the breath I was holding. I give him a big grin.

"I was hoping you would say that." He smiles at me too. He pulls out his phone and pulls up a map of the US.

"Well here, close your eyes and point to a state."

I close my eyes and trail my finger up and down so fast until I feel the need to stop. I open my eyes and see where our new home would be.

"Well lets get going then!" He says excitedly. He pulls back on the road and we take off.

"Which town should we pick?" I ask. I feel excitement and a spark of hope.

"Well we want something near the beach, so look and see if theres any colleges near the beach." Oh right. College.

"I didnt think I could go to college and raise a baby." I say quietly. He pulls the truck over to the side of the road again and grabs my chin so I look at him.

"Baby girl, you're going to college. Ill help with the baby and we will make it work." He leans over and kisses my forehead. I clear my throat.

"Right. So colleges near the beach." I pull my phone out and search and find just what Im looking for.

"How about Savannah?" I say. He turns to me with a huge grin spreading across his cheeks.

"I love Savannah!" He pulls back on to the road and we make our way to Georgia to start a new life.

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We've been in Georgia for 9 weeks. I finished out high schook online and graduated with perfect grades. Uncle Donnie had saved up a lot of money and was able to get us into a nice 3 bedroom house. It had a fenced in back yard and a tire swing. We both fell in love with it immediately. I got a job at a coffee shop in town, it's not much but it gives me the ability to save money for my daughter. When we first left, we went and said goodbye to my grandparents and stayed a few days with them before coming here. Im 30 weeks pregnant now and no longer look like I just ate a big sandwhich. I decided to start college next year, giving me time to get things right for my daughter and not feel so rushed to jump right in with a newborn.

After we left, I got a few calls and texts from numbers I didnt recognize. They were from Josh and Lucas and their parents. Even though they changed their numbers, they still had mine. They wanted to know where I was. I couldnt bring myself to respond. Josh and Lucas texted me every day for 2 weeks but then they stopped. I decided to completely change my number and get a new phone. The old one sits in my top drawer of my dresser, and I pull it out every now and then to look at pictures of my old life. I'd be lying if I said I didnt miss them.

I still keep in touch with Tiara. She was so sad when I left but promised to keep her mouth shut about everything. She tried to keep me updated on things happening with Josh and Lucas but it was just too hard to hear. I couldnt take it. She knows Im still pregnant with Lucas' baby, but she still supported me. She told me that Lucas moped around school for the first week after I left but started to become himself again. He never spoke a word to anyone about why he was sad but the rumor mill was running rampant. I'm not surprised about it at all. Small towns always talk.

Ive made a few friends here. I work with them and they seem like awesome people. I just cant bring myself to let anyone in. They just know I'm new here and I'm pregnant and thats the extent of it. My bosses are a sweet older couple who took me in under their wing. They said I remind them of their daughter who passed away a long time ago. They really are good people, and made me feel welcomed and right at home here. Martha and Tommy are my replacement grandparents. Martha was able to get me signed up for a local daycare that has the best ratings. I was worried about the cost of it but Uncle Donnie assured me that we could afford it. The wait list was long but She would be able to start at 2 months old which works out perfectly. After my 6 week maternity leave, Uncle Donnie said he would take off the remaining 2 weeks until she can start. He is so excited to be a pop pop. thats what he wants her to call him. Even though he is still pretty young, I think Pop Pop fits him perfectly, he definitely earned every right to call himself her grandfather.

My phone starts ringing breaking me out of my thoughts. Sitting up in the bath tub, I grab a towel to wipe my hands off and answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hey girlfriend! Whatcha doing?" Tiara is super excited on the other end of the phone.

"Oh. Umm Im taking a bath." I chuckle awkwardly.

"Thats hot." She laughs. " Hey so I was calling because I wanted to double check on your due date."

"Oh! Its at the end of July!" I reply.

"Perfect! So school doesnt start for me til closer to the end of August. What would you say to having your bestest friend come stay with you so I can be there to see my God daughter be born?" She talks so fast I can barely keep up.

"Uhhh yes! I was so nervous to have to deliver her alone. Uncle Donnie said he would hold my hand but I think thats a little weird." I laugh. Im so excited to have my best friend here with me.

"Oh my gosh I'm just so excited! We can set up her room and go shopping! Ill be there mid July!" She squeals. That girl loved to shop. I cant say I'm not excited.

"Hey baby, who are you talking to?" I hear a familiar voice on the other end of the line.

"Oh! Just my cousin. Go ahead and go in, I'll be in there in a minute." I hear what sounds like a kiss.

"Tiara... Is there something you forgot to tell me?" I ask.

"Yeahhhhhh. So me and Jordan have been dating for a few weeks now. I know hes Lucas' best friend but I really like him, J. Please dont be mad!" She begs.

"Im not mad, T. Just please dont tell my secrets. The last thing I need is Lucas finding out. Im glad to hear that youre happy though. He better treat you right!" I say. I really am happy for her.

"He treats me so good. He seems like a dumb jock but once you get to know him, hes really sweet and thoughtful. Dont worry girl, your secret is forever safe with me! I got to go now, Ill see you soon!" She blows a kiss through the phone and hangs up.

I let the water out of the tub and climb out while wrapping a towel around me. I guess I need to go let Uncle Donnie know that Tornado T will be visiting for a few weeks. Its not that he doesnt love her, she just has so much energy that never dies.