Chelsea: My Big, Fat, Fabulous Life.

CHAPTER 3

Chelsea is the only child of Mr Christopher Okoro and Mrs Chigozia Christopher Okoro. Her dad is a retired government school teacher, who is 58years old, he worked for the Government for 35years. He got the teaching job at the young age of 23.He decided to open his own soft drink business after retirement. Which he sells in crates and is running now.

Her mother is 55 years old, she has her own supermarket, "MAMA C's SUPER MARKET", which she has been running since she finished at the Tertiary institution, where she studied "Marketing".

She decided to open her own business, instead of working for someone else, and utilize what she learnt in school, which helped to expand her business to two branches, one in Warri where they live and the other in Effurun, both in Delta State, Nigeria.

They name their only daughter and only child, Eseoghene, in her father's tongue, meaning ;"God's gift", For the gift God gave to them after 10 years of waiting. While Amarachukwu in her mother's tongue, means " Praise God", Praising God for the gift of a child and Chelsea, after her father's favorite football club. Making her "Miss Okoro Chelsea Eseoghene Amarachukwu.

Her parents are both from Delta State. Her father is an Urhobo man from Ethiope East local government," Eku", and her mother is an "Ukwani" woman from Ndokwa west local government," Kwale" .

Chelsea, is a 23-year-old young lady, who is light chocolate colour in complexion, 5.5 feet tall, with an oval face, with brown eyes and a little bit overweight, with a big tummy, which has brought her so many questions and accusations.

Having always been ridiculed for her weight, she was embarrassed because of her weight and just from being her, even when she wasn't even fat. Which shouldn't be so, since everyone can not be the same,either in shape, colour or size . Just as our faces are different, so are we also different. As a person or individual, it is that difference that makes us unique.

Due to constant reminders of her weight, she became ashamed to even go outside her house, especially the vicinity where she lived, if not necessary or only on errands. She preferred staying indoors, if given the choice to do just that, which was so sad.

The exercise she was used to doing, which was trekking short and long distances,which helped her to stay fit, she had to stop it. Because of fear of what people would say if they saw her weight. But staying indoors did not help at all, but instead, increased her weight.

Since her admission into the higher institute, she started going outside frequently. Seeing that she was in a new environment, where no one knew her before ( when she was smaller in size and had a flat tummy), then no one would question her or embarrass her because of her size, since they met her like that ( in her present size). Although some still judge her, she sometimes wonders what they would have said or done if she was really pregnant, since that was one of their assumptions.

Having struggled with weight gain in her early teenage years, at age 14, she had passed through a lot of embarrassing moments, and had been accused so many times and also had been body shamed by both adults, teenagers and children.

At one time,her new biology teacher, who was about to teach them biology, called her out in front of another teacher and asked her if she was pregnant. She had to explain to her that her tummy was just big and not because she was pregnant.

Thanks to the other teacher who knew her, if not, the biology teacher would have thought that she was lying.

There was also a time when she came to school late and her former basic science teacher was on duty at the gate.

The teacher insinuated that she was pregnant and was drawing Chelsea's skirt down, on the grounds that Chelsea was wearing a short skirt, which was not the case. Chelsea's skirt and some of her other clothes have become too small and short for her, due to her increase in size and weight.

That teacher was slim the first time Chelsea met her, but at that time the teacher was also fat, so if Chelsea had accused her of something she had done, wouldn't she be offended too.

Chelsea was in tears throughout the period before class and was comforted by her female classmates. Most(not all ) people that body shamed Chelsea, were people in the same size category as Chelsea.

People behaved like being fat was a disease, instead of the size of a person. Some are slim, some are fat, while some are average in size. Everyone has their own different shape and size.

A lady she had known since she was little , although they weren't all that close, saw her one day and called her in front of a total stranger and made a statement and not a question, mind you.

" You were pregnant before and gave birth." She asked in order to get confirmation ,which if not heard right and you weren't there at that moment, it was said, you might have thought, it was a question, which it was not.

The woman who did that to her, had a little daughter who was also fat for her age, but nobody, not even Chelsea, was so emotionless like her, as to say that to the child.

If they say or believe she was pregnant, that means at that time, at age 20, she had been carrying the pregnancy for 6years, which is not medically possible.

It was painful not only because of the kind of statement, but because the person that said it had known her since she was 11 or 12 , although they haven't talked much, she is supposed to know the kind of person Chelsea is and her character.

Chelsea felt ashamed for being accused of something( having an unwanted pregnancy and having a child out of wedlock) like that, by someone she knows and greets every time she sees her, and in the presence of someone she does not know.

Before the lady made that horrible statement( horrible because it is not true) and called her, she ( Chelsea) saw them looking at her when she walked by, before she came back from where she was going .

That means the one she knew ( which is in the past tense, because she discovered that day, that both of them ( herself and the lady) didn't really know each other, because if they did, the lady wouldn't have been telling the other lady ( the stranger), something about her, which was what she later said to Chelsea. She didn't allow the stranger to live before calling her and saying such a delicate thing to her, which is not the way something like that is supposed to be done or said.

There is something called cutesy, which you have to show to everyone, especially to those you know, in the lady's case, someone you are supposed to know. If she really knew Chelsea, she would have known that Chelsea would not do something like that.

There was another time that year, when coming back from an exam, a driver of the vehicle she passed by told her that the size of her tummy would enable or help her to deceive a man that she was pregnant for him. Meaning she was both lost and of low morals, this is someone she has never met, is just meeting and might never meet again.

Another time, the owner of a school she later attended, when she was just 19, walked up to her and asked her:

" Are your parents aware?." From the question Chelsea knew what the woman was hinting at, so she had to explain to herself again, that this was just her shape and size of her stomach .

The lady could have asked her why her stomach was like that. But she just assumed that Chelsea was pregnant, which is the obvious meaning you get from the indirect question and from the conversation they later had, after the question.

A pastor she was just meeting for the first time asked her what was inside her stomach and he didn't even know her, because that was the first time they were talking to each other. They never give her a benefit of the doubt.

In that same school, the Vice Principal called her into her office and asked her if she was pregnant.

Chelsea had to explain herself; her s****l purity, her less pregnant state and her s*x life, which was really non-existent ( meaning she has never had s*x and they expected her to be pregnant).

She was told by the lady ( the Vice- Principal), a female like her, that the reason she asked, was because her fatness was not normal like that of another female student in Chelsea's class.

The Vice- Principle was talking about a girl that Chelsea met that was not too slim or fat,when Chelsea newly registered. When the school, and all of a sudden the girl started gaining weight and not the obese or ordinary kind of fat, a matured one.

And it has not been even a year, since Chelsea started attending the school and the other girl has been attending the school for years, and they think they knew Chelsea so well and knew which kind of fat is normal and abnormal for her, what a joke and the joke is on them.

And this so called lady is a mother at that, that also have female children, two for that matter and would not be happy if someone asked her daughters that sought of question, even if the person has good intentions, which Chelsea is not sure she had.

Another time , a boy asked Chelsea one day," I hope you are not still fat?".

" Yes I am, Why!?" She answered and asked right back " I'm okay with the way I am" she added.

" So that your husband would be able to carry you on your wedding day" he answered and laughed.

What was so funny. Was that a joke or what, because she didn't get it. When has body shaming become a joke or something funny.

That same called friend, saw her picture one day, Do you know what he said?

" Please try and reduce your weight" he told her.

Another time when Chelsea was still school, due to her ability to make friends easily, with even those she is just meeting for this first time. A girl just walked up to the shade Chels was sitting in and sat down. Before you know it, Chelsea started up a friendly discussion with her, mid discussion Chelsea was talking about the way she looked and her size when she first came to school, that she was not always that big, although her stomach was a little bit big.

All of a sudden, the girl said " I thought you were married and pregnant" The girl told her, Which was what she has been thinking or the assumption she had about Chelsea, all this while they have been talking, which was up to an hour or more.

Chelsea's countenance fell, never the less she has already collected the girl's phone number, but was just surprise that someone she was meeting for the first time will have such opinion of her.

She sometimes wonders that, If she had not talked about her size, the girl would go away with that assumption and if anyone asked that girl, like that lady she has known since she was little, the girl would answer Yes, that Chelsea was a married and a pregnant woman.

Sometimes when she is walking by, some persons will mutter or call her virgin Mary.

She has been ridiculed for no wrong committed by her, by her age group and those older than her, especially by her own gender,females like her. She had to pass short cuts and corners where no one will see her.

That's why she was happy to live home and go to school, when it was time to go to the higher institute.

But living home, in a new environment did not stop the body shaming, instead she met even more aggressive body shaming individuals , a totally new dimension of them. Through the unconditional love showed to her by her parents, friends and the love of Christ for her, she was able to scale through.

When Depression tries to rare it's ugly head or face, she gets comfort from the unconditional love that God showed to her and the world, by sending his only begotten son , " JESUS" To Die for her sin and that of the whole Wild world.

Sometimes she wonders if, people think that just because she is fat, then she is not human like them and does not have feelings like everyone else.

It doesn't make it right for the people she knew, and those she doesn't know to judge her. Does it mean they don't know the effect their words and judgemental stare has on the person being judged unjustly?. It hurts, or it is that they just don't care?.

Most cases of suicide, where committed due to the spoken words by someone or some people, without them thinking of the effect their words have on the receiver of their harsh words and the emotional implication it might have on them, which would eventually lead to depression if care is not taken.

But she has found out over and over again,that they just don't care, as long as they say it. So she decided not to end up killing herself, because of something someone has said to her or did to her.

Like that time her science teacher embarrassed her at the school gate, in front of other students.

Although the temptation has come, but there is someone she respected above everyone, everything and all problem, and that's The living God she serves. Killing herself was against her Christian believe and those people that said or did those things, that push a individual to the extent he or she takes their own life, will continue to live their life and that individual that took that drastic choice will be gone forever, so suicide is not and would not be the last choice or option we as humans have, instead we should make those bullies ( because that is what they are) know that they are not our God , their word don't have power over our life, only God does.

But she still wonders, That although she is careful on what she do or say, People are still mean to her.

In this life you can't please everyone. Those that bully others are just insecure of themselves, because that person has something they don't have.

You might be slim, tall, short, average in height, dark or light skin, people will still talk. Like the saying that says, " What goes around, will come around" , that's Karma for you.

Best thing you can do for yourself and show those bullies, that their opinion of you or your size does not count, is for you to strive and live your best life.

Is it not also true that ; Do unto others what you want them to do to you, but she guess people don't just care. But what they don't know or will find out too late, is that everyone of us will pay for the wrong we have done and are doing, one way or the other. We will also be rewarded for the good or right thing we do.

Instead of judging or accusing others why don't you encourage them, correct them lovely , give them solution to their problems, help them get help and call that person to a corner and ask nicely, it wouldn't hurt you to do that , but it would make them know someone cares.

It is not the questions Chelsea was asked that was painful, but the accusations in some of those questions and statements.

But she believes, one day she will have her day in the sun, just like everyone else, because after all; she knows who holds tomorrow and he is her God, not those bullies or accusers.