Life is like a cigarette and a cup of coffee; before you know it you're ashes, but it's good to the last drop...

"Trailer for sale or rent, rooms to let fifty cents No phone, no pool, no pets, I ain't got no cigarettes"... Roger Miller

Upon our reunion we ran into a man on is way to finish his errands. He stopped us as we were walking and asked, “Are you guys homeless?”

“For the moment, yes” I replied. He then offered us some help by calling a local church who said they’d send someone to pick us up if we were willing to seek shelter in a homeless facility. He then gave me a bible to take with us, circling his name, to place emphasis on who this book had belonged to. When the guy he had called to give us a ride had arrived, we asked him “where are you going to take us?“ He advised us we’d be going to two separate homeless shelters. I was to go to the men’s shelter, and Suzi was to got to the Women’s House of Hope. “The House of Hope, isn’t but a couple a miles way from the shelter for men. We were hesitant, so I asked the man to show us where the men’s shelter was; and also if he’d be so kind enough as to show us the easiest way to get from there to the women’s. He assured us he could let us off at the women’s shelter, and if all checked out, then they would give me directions to walk to my shelter, hopefully in enough time to get a bed.

We thanked the man then decided to test out our new fate. Homelessness…. No more travels. No more money. It had appeared our luck had finally ran dry. I should of heeded my subconscious warnings, but yet here I am writing frantically, trying to describe what has happened in as great a detail as I can recall. The bus driver has just advised us that this was going to be a long stretch. And the next available bathroom wouldn’t be for another two hours.

The women’s shelter had been a bust. Little did we know that at the women’s shelter they are obligated to administer a drug test to all temporary occupants. Standard procedure. She said the m*******a we had been smoking wouldn’t affect our eligibility, so we agree. The problem was that just two days ago, when we were in Vegas, Suzi was opted into doing a ghetto sized gagger line of coke. Tisk tisk tisk. Unfortunately we were turned down, and forced to seek shelter on the street.

Unaware of the harsh realities that this trip had gotten us into, We opted to try again tomorrow to see if her system was clean by then, as so advised by the administration. Next we departed the house of hope and followed the way that we were instructed. We were certain everything would be better tomorrow. It had only been a few days since the Vegas incident, and we were hoping, that we could see through the night into tomorrow. We managed to get some money from an A.T.M. for some cigarettes, a water and C’s near a local dollar tree. Not that we needed anything but the water, but we knew we didn’t have much for food and at least with C’s we wouldn’t be hungry, tired, or as depressed; well at least for the moment. We walked to a local shopping mall a couple miles away from the missions, and just looked about the place, hoping to kill some time and come up with a plausible out come as for sleeping situations. We managed to make our way into a Borders book store. Where we met a man named Porter. He was in a similar situation as us. His car had recently went kaput, and he was picking up an application from Borders, in hopes of attaining money to get back to his girlfriend upstate. We explained our story to him and he asked if we’d like to keep him company, while he got his situation in order. We explained that we really needed to find a place to sleep for the night, we were also very hungry; as was he. He managed to convince a local Pizza Parlor to give us a free pizza and drink, explaining that he was taking care of us, in what I took as a Big Brother’s Big Sisters’ sort of thing, and that he had misplaced his wallet. To my surprise it actually worked. We thanked the place, and left an excellent survey. From there Porter explained to us his situation some more, and in doing so received a call from Borders requesting an interview. He was ecstatic, and so full of high hopes, that much to my discern, he was convinced that he could manage to get us all a free hotel room, using a similar tale, that he had shared with the Pizza Parlor. No such luck was in his favor there. I guess the trick to luck is not to push it unless you have nothing to lose. And even then it had better be genuine.

Together the three of us decided to sleep in his broken down car. He forewarned it was very small and had a very uncomfortable backseat, that Suz and I could take turns alternating from. Porter also mentioned that he had some things to do so, he showed us his car and the backseat, and said he had to go and find a pay phone, to call his girlfriend. He said if we could meet him at the Sears parking lot later if we needed a place to sleep. We thanked him again, and went on our way venturing out into the town of Tulare.

During our stroll, We became somewhat more familiar with the area and put into minds perspective as to which way and where to go. Taking to memory good places to ask for change, local churches, payphones, bus schedules, any information that we could possibly take down to memory. Which surprisingly isn’t too hard when you absolutely need to. We wasted the afternoon and into the evening doing this, when we decided to purchase a book at Borders. We selected a poetry book, by Jim Morrison, and a Beatles anthology book. We then headed to the Sears parking lot where Mr. Porter awaited us half asleep, already in the front seat.

“There you guys are, I was already starting to wonder if I was ever going to see you again”

“Yeah, we took a few detours.”

Relieved and anxious for a rest we piled into the car. Suz took the front and I took the back for the first half of the night.

The backseat was as uncomfortable as all get out. I kept fidgeting and could not find a comfortable position to rest. I remember being so agitated with my decision to sleep back there that I just said f**k this and got the group to come to a consensus and we finally decided it best to seek rest outside of a dumpster where no one would bother checking for homeless people. Apparently homelessness is a problem in California, because as we were settling down into some sleeping bags that Matt kept in his trunk from a camping trip he had taken recently, we were then rudely interrupted in our solemnest by some late night lot dwellers whooping and hollering outside of an already closed cinema across the mall parking lot. They kept talking of a haunted cinema and laughing and hollering, and I just couldn’t take it anymore and yelled as loud as I could, “Shut the f**k up!” They shut up alright. They giggled and laughed about the situation and eventually notified the mall security, whom also had heard my outburst, and patrolled their way over to our vicinity, and asked what in the hell we were doing. Everybody started talking at once, and Porter finally explained that he had a car, Suz assured them of the story we gave, and I was persistent as to how it didn’t make a difference where we slept, in my opinion, as long as it was by choice, and no harm was done. The guards reluctantly gave us the option of sleeping in the car which we, eventually agreed. It was the longest night ever. I was pissed at losing the battle and was restless all night.

That morning, we conversed with Porter about the homeless shelter, and He was willing to attend if we couldn’t come up with anything else. Suz and I on the other hand were off to once again try our luck at the Women’s House of Hope. Much to our avail, we had failed to meet the drug screening requirements. Porter had checked himself into the men’s shelter and would await the arrival of our news in regards to our luck at the women’s shelter. We told him if he was willing, to meet me there tomorrow we could plan to all work together to get Porter back home. He decided to walk with us into town again, back to the Sears’ parking lot; where Porter would wait for his interview to take place.

While he attended his interview, Suz and I wandered about the mall, where we decided to take a rest at the food court. We then were approached by a manager at a mall-food-bar, who brought us two loaded hot dogs, two drinks, and two bags of chips. Confused we assured him we didn’t order this, and he replied that God had told him to do it. We thanked him, ate, and left to look for Porter. On our way to Borders’ we ran into this tweaked out fellow who said he was an alchemist and asked where I had come from. I smiled and told him the Sun, and he told me he loved me, we awkwardly left the situation at hand in pursuit of our friend. Once we located Porter, it was with much disappointment when he learned that he had not received the desired position. We wandered about the town once more only to retire in his car; where we would plan for the next day to once again to try our luck at the homeless shelters. Fortunately this time Suz’s system was clean enough, and we were able to utilize the benefit of a roof over our heads.

Porter went ahead to the Men’s Mission, while Suz and I worked out her paperwork and information. Once she was settled, I made my way to the mission across town. I arrived just in the knick of time. The beds had filled up at an alarming rate and I was the very last guy there. I checked my personal belongings into my own locked up cubby and made my way to the church across the road for a sermon. I nearly passed out in my seat. I was really drained by this time and found it hard to focus. Once that was all said and done, me and the fellas’ headed to the kitchen across the road and had some dinner. It was decently portioned, a lot better then the jail food, and a hell of a lot more then I would have been able to scrounge up for on the street. I managed to sneak a picture of Suz to my bunk after dinner. I made my bed and hid the photo under my pillow. Then we had to shower and get ready for bed. The first night was definitely different, but it was so much more comfortable then outside, or the inside of a car. The next morning I gathered my bedding headed to the bathroom to freshen up and managed to get the clothes I was wearing washed, and received a robe and pants and slippers until they were cleaned. Next everybody was responsible for scrubbing and sweeping up our designated areas. Then we were finally ready for breakfast. I was near the end of the line being since I was waiting on my clothes to dry. The breakfast looked awesome. Greater then or equal to that of a continental breakfast at a hotel. Once finished I met up with Porter who was going to see about getting some money wired to him, so he could get his car fixed. I walked with him to the women’s shelter, and from there Suz and I walked to the Library while Porter handled his financial situation. The Library was pretty cool. I recognized a couple of guys there from the Mission, and they gave us some directions to a clothing store, much like a Goodwill, across town. The store had a voucher program, and Suz and I were able to get us both an outfit and shoes. I chose some good looking Jesus sandals that proved to be a good buy in the long run. Afterwards we met up with Porter at the Mall. Porter had some luck begging for money from his family, and was dead set on not staying another night at the mission if he didn’t have to. We walked a few stores down where we ran into the tweaker looking dude again. He was eating his typical snack, ketchup/mustard and salt/pepper packets. The tweaker kid offered us all to stay at his house if we liked, which Porter was all about till I was able to convince him it was a bad idea. Matt hadn’t the slightest clue that the kid was all meth’d out apparently, but when I was able to point out some distinct characteristics, I was able to change his mind and assure him that if the garage doesn’t dilly dally then he’d only have to stay on more night in the missions. He agreed, and we made our way back to the homeless shelters. We dropped Suz off first, then we made our way to the mission.

We had arrived really early this time, so as to make sure they would have a bed for us. We sat at a smoke shack and shot the s**t with some other tenants. I was fortunate enough to learn that I had better be careful wearing my new outfit in the wrong side of town, because I was wearing Vice Lord colors. I asked what colors I should wear and the guy informed me that white meant vice lords, purple was grape street, yellow was some kind of Hispanic group, red the bloods and blue the crips. What about pink I asked, and he said yeah if you wanna’ be gay. I laughed and thought aww to hell with it. We went about our business as usual, church, food, and so on, only this time when I was resting my head I was caught looking at Suzi’s picture. I was told all personal items were to remain in our cubbies, and was to be the last in line for breakfast, for not following the rule. Whatever, I didn’t really care. The next day when I awoke, Porter was on a payphone talking to a towing company and they had taken his car to a garage, and he informed me that he would be heading back home tonight around 5. Luckily the car was an easier fix then he had suspected. I shook his hand and we wished each other luck. He invited Suz and I out sometime if we are ever and around San Francisco. I told him sure, and we bid adieu. After that I had decided to get Suz, and try our luck at the impound in the neighboring town, if Suz was up to it. I made it no further then two blocks away from the mission when I was approached by three guys, who were wondering what I was doing in their neighborhood. I luckily still had a blackened eye from the fight with curry about a week back, so I guess they took it as if I had already been dealt with. They advised me the next time they see me I had better look twice as worse. Whatever, I thought, and proceeded on my way to the Women’s House of Hope.

Suz couldn’t have been more thrilled to get the hell out of there. Not that she wasn’t grateful for a roof over her head, but some of her cigarettes had gone missing, and the up keep for that mission was short staffed and the tenants there were responsible for a lot more cleaning then us men had to do at our mission.

We managed to make our way back to the library where we saw the same bunch from the Men’s Mission hanging out. They told us the best place to beg for change and catch a bus if need be. I had roughly twelve or so dollars, left and that was plenty for an all day bus pass. We took the next bus to Pixley, Tulare County from Visalia, Tulare County. We were the only passengers and the driver said she would be coming through this stop once more on her way back to Visalia, and if we can manage to get back to the stop in like 4 hours, then our bus passes would be good enough to get us back to Visalia. We thanked her and as we were heading out, we asked for directions to this impound lot where we explained our car was. She pointed us to the service station and said that would be our best place to start. We made our way to the station, unsure of what would happen next, totally lost in thought, and ready for any and all that we could possibly prepare ourselves for. The service attendant must of sensed our fear and vulnerability, by the way he looked at us, but he told us two ways to get there. We could either walk eight miles following the road, or about five miles, if we cut through the desert looking field, or patch of nothingness. We chose to try the road first then grew tired of walking it and decided to cut through the unbeaten path some. We probably managed to shave off a half mile or so the way we did it.

When we arrived at the impound, we noticed it was just a house with a good size garage, and 5-6 acres of fenced in scrap/tow yard. We spoke with the owner who was on his lunch break, and he said we could get our stuff out. We wanted to get as much as we could carry. Immediately charging our phone with the car charger and grabbed any and all we could manage to carry. Suz had like three bags and a purse full of miscellaneous necessities; and I had managed to grab about two back packs, and two big duffle bags. Oh we also found, a bole, a box of C’s, and half a carton of cigarettes. On the way out of the yard I made sure to look for any security systems I might be able to locate, and made a rough plan to return and escape with our car should we not be able to take our car back legally. We thanked the guy and trudged on down the road. This time we would make sure to take the 5 mile walk vs. the other.

It was a long five miles, the weight of the luggage really made matters worse. Plus the sun was hotter then hell; just beating down on our bodies as we walked the long journey back to the bus stop. Along the way we stumbled across a polar pop cup, which we snagged and planned to fill at the station provided they had a bathroom. We were really at our wits end stopping periodically to reassure each other, with hugs and empty promises of a better future lying ahead. Our hides had tanned in this California climate, and our body fat was as lean as ever. We desperately needed nourishment, rest, and relaxation.

We finally made it to the service station and asked the guy behind the counter the time and we realized we hadn’t been gone for as long as we had thought. We still had roughly an hour and a half before the bus was due to arrive. We asked the man if it were possible to use the restroom, and he turned us down due to company policy. We asked if we could fill our cup up with ice, and he wanted to charge us ten cents. I was pretty fed up. I had the money for ice and beverages, but I decided it was a joke on people in my situation. We left the store in a huff, and made our way to a hose faucet out side. We rinsed or heads and faces and filled up our cup and made our way across the street to the bus stop. We decided to take the rest of our C’s, and smoked some resin from the bole. Needless to say we were able to take the edge off and focus our minds on what we had to do; praying, a good portion of the time; that we could be off to new and better things. I pulled out a notebook and pen and began free-writing a few rap lines; and making lists’ of things to do; naming our priorities and necessities. When The bus had arrived, the driver seemed surprised to see us; as she took us back to the very stop she had originally picked us up from.

All to soon we found ourselves back at the bus stop with nothing better to do then to just sit there and try and think of any logical thing that we could do. We couldn’t help to debate whether we should go back to the shelters, or just try our luck on the street. We were really exhausted at the time, and obviously didn’t have or wits about us; when out of the blue, we were approached by a Ms. Parker; a Visalia local, who insisted we come and stay with her and her boyfriend. Very thankful to be given such an opportunity, we took her up on her offer and rode with her to her apartment complex; not knowing what trouble we’d eventually run into.