Sophia's Freedom

Chapter 65 : Journal : The Curse

The next few entries were mainly about Abhinu's feelings when he had to perform the disgusting tasks. I could feel that they are really depressing and I really wonder how he kept himself strong amidst all the bullying.

Maybe me and Aamaya di's presence might have helped him to keep his cool. I wonder where he is now and what has happened to Aamaya di. Is she really dead. Damn this is totally confusing.

Aamaya di has been his guardian angel and it was probably because of her that Abhihu has kept himself sane all these years. I wonder if Abhinu knew that Aamaya di once had the opportunity to return back to her family but she stayed back and wanted to make sure that he is safe before she can attain her freedom.

I decided to continue reading the entries.

                                                               2nd June 1992

The day went smooth today. Nothing much happened. As usual Abhishek dada called today which is nothing new. He enquired about my health today and wanted to see my wounds. After looking at my wounds, he makes a strange face. Sometimes it makes me wonder that he probably gets an o****m everytime I show him my flesh and body. Especially my legs. Well the truth is occasionally he used to ask me to lift off my skirts and show him my thighs and whenever I do that, I used to see him putting his hand over his sweet spot as if he was having an erection. I wish I could really understand how an erection would feel like, but that happiness has been taking away from me by these mean people when they decided to ruin me. Other that that, I had no choice but to wear the uniform even though I didn't have to get off the bed. Aamaya di came up to me today and asked me to be a little bit careful with my journals. She asked me to make sure that they are placed in a safe place. Even though I write my journals inside the washroom, but she also told me not to be fooled by Abhishek dada's sweet talks and the truth is he is a p*****t and one day he will try to install a camera inside the bathroom too and then there will be no place to hide the journals. She then told me about a secret place in Aarohi''s bed where I can keep the journal hidden and no one would even know.

                                                        3rd June 1992

Nothing much happened today too. I had nothing to do today as it is my last day to be in bed and from tomorrow, the regular routine will continue. I only wished the day would never end at all. Amidst all the regular s******c talks by Abhishek dada, the only thing that was more sick was what Darika and Garima did. After Aamaya di left for school, Darika came to my room, picked up the bedsheet from my table and got all her shoes wrapped in it and threw it on the bed, She then asked me to smell all the shoes and then choose the one I want to honor everyday. It felt dishonorable so I told her to choose what they think is best but she insisted that I should smell them. I had no choice because she threatened to call uncle and tell him that I disobeyed them. I finally had no choice but to do the inevitable. 

I choose her yellow colored pumps, which she had recently brought and was her favorite she wanted me to choose another one but I choose to stand ground and so Garima told her not to worry and that she has a plan. She went into her room and brought a box with her and then she wanted me to guess what was on it. I replied that I have no clue and then she opened the cover of the box and took out a sneaker from it and asked me if I remember it, I took a closer look into the sneaker and as I was about to touch it, she stepped back and said this was the same sneaker I had used to put on during the 3 national basketball matches. The moment I saw my lucky sneaker, I almost cried and then she said that she had kept that safe for this day only. She wants me to kiss this shoe everyday and then she raised the cell phone which she was carrying in her hand and said that uncle wants to talk to me. 

He said that Garima had told him that I disobeyed Darika which made her sad, and he cannot bear to see tears in his daughters eyes, so he ordered me that from today, until he decides I had suffered enough which probably will never happen, I am not supposed to take off my shoes, not even when I go to bed at night... the only exception would be when I am changing them or when I am in washroom having my bath and along with that, wearing flats is prohibited except when I will go off to sleep. He doesn't want the bedsheets to be ruined and then disconnected the call. I was so mad at them that I cursed Garima that one day someone will make her pay for what she did to me today. She then reminded me that I was a born loser and that I should stop believing in the myth that a transgender curse can bring ill omen to the family. 

Damn these girls. I wish I could lay my hands on them and break their head, and then it suddenly occured that maybe Garima is left alive so that she can be punished for the lies she told uncle about Abhinu. I kept the pieces of paper aside and pulled up the locket of Mother Mary from my neck. I closed my eyes and began to recite.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, 

that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, 

implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided. 

Inspired by this confidence, 

I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. 

To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. 

O Mother of the Word Incarnate, 

despise not my petitions, 

but in your mercy, hear and answer me. 

Amen.

I placed my right hand over over my chest, and touched the locket of Virgin Mary by my left hand and kept reciting the prayer 9 more times...

                                                TO BE CONTINUED...

                                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~