Sophia's Freedom

Chapter 79 : Grief

"The death of my brother managed to bring genuine grief and semblance of agony in my dad which was totally absent during Allen's death. His expressions stated a sense of loss because the tool i.e., my dear Allen, he molded and shaped to satisfy his ulterior motives were terminated and with that, all his efforts and time were wasted. There was no genuine remorse for the loss of Allen."

"My parents blamed me for my brother's death. But I didn't or couldn't care how they felt or what they thought of me. I was engulfed by remorse and agony over the death of the two innocent souls closest and dearest to me. My desire to end my life also left me."

"It seems like I deserved to be alone and suffer for what happened to my brother and my love. I felt I was like a curse which could only consume the lives of the loved ones."

"They say, guilt and remorse can be very exhausting if you let yourself be consumed by it. I was ready to drown myself in this never-ending sea of guilt and despair. I dreamt the handsome face of my Allen calling me in my dreams and asking me to forgive myself and my family."

"But the only thing these dreams made me realize was that no matter what destiny had in store for me, I could never forgive my dad and his role in Allen's death."

"I have developed a general mistrust and disgust towards the species of men. I realized that I could never let my dad get away with his twisted actions. I also knew there was no one who could help me take him down."

*** I can feel what you are going through Aamaya di. I do hope, with the passage of time, you will gather enough courage to be a better person and maybe pull up the strength to trust men. Not all men are bad. I hope she doesn't forget how much Joe dada loves her and cares for her. You can trust Joe with his life. He loves you so much that if you ask him for his life he will happily give it to you without a second thought. ***

Aamaya di continued "I knew my dad's unjust intentions would again claim the life of another innocent being like Allen. I knew what I had to do to refute my dad's plans. After all, I was an equally evil daughter of an equally evil dad."

"I knew I could thwart his plans if I put my mind to it. The only way to do so was to torment and haze his would-be victims to such an extent that they would have no other option but to leave and elope from our home."

"The only way I could do that was by resorting to my most cruel and gruesome s******c self. It nearly succeeded in the case of Sophia but no matter how hard I tried; she would not give up."

"I only hoped that my dad would never get the love and gratitude from his victims, he so desperately sought. We tortured his victims so much so that he would eventually start hating him. Yes, I am aware how my actions tormented Sophia."

"But Sophia always mentioned good things about you... she always felt how much you struggles when you had to torment her?" asked mom.

"Sophia was too good to blame me for her mishaps... she felt that maybe I was torturing her so that my sisters would not be able to bully her... as an adult, you will understand... how much your pride is hurt when you get bullied by someone younger to you..." she turned to look towards the window and said "or maybe uncle would understand how it would feel when he gets bullied by some women... won't his pride be affected..." she paused and then I saw her trying to fiddle with a piece of paper and then continued "I had so such intentions... i just tortured her because I loved it... and I was the daughter of a sadist..."

Or maybe you are lying and you just want to prove to us that you are a bad girl... so that we would hurt you... and you know very well we people in uniform are physically very fit... one hit from us and you can meet your maker... is it not something you have always wanted to do... and what could be a better opportunity than this..."

"I AM NOT LYING... IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BELIEVE ME ITS FINE BY ME... IF I WANTED TO END MY LIFE... I WOULD HAVE HURT SOPHIA SO MUCH THAT DAD WOULD HAVE KILLED ME WITH HIS OWN HANDS..."

"ok... ok... no need to get agitated sweetheart..." mom paused and placed her hands above her hands as if to comfort her and then continued "Let's talk about something else..."

"Ok... sure"

"You remember Aarohi..."

The word Aaorhi brought a smile to her face. "Yeaaaasssss..."

"Sophia never mentioned anything about you hurting Aarohi." Mom asked.

"Well, Aarohi's case was different..." she paused and her smile seemed as if she was really happy with the mention of Aarohi's name. It felt like thinking about Aarohi made her happy.

"When Aarohi came to our house, she was only 5 months old. She was such an innocent and sweet child that I couldn't gather up the courage to hurt her no matter how much I wished to. Her very presence and entry into our lives were healing my tattered soul. I could not help but feel a strong sense of love and protection towards her. That innocent soul remained oblivious to her true gender identity till the day she died. She always thought herself to be the beloved daughter of our parents."

*** No Aamaya di is wrong. Aarohi knew what she was and decided to keep it a secret from the rest of the world except from the two of us. I was in a state of shock. I couldn't react to what I had just heard. ***

Aamaya di continued, "She did not get to witness the true self of my dad or any of his monstrous self. Before my dad could even start his devious plans for her, mom and I made sure that Aarohi would not be subjected to the same torment as Allen, and we decided to end her life."

"It was not easy to let this person, who has filled the gap left by my brother, face the torment of my father’s cruel intentions and could not risk tarnishing the innocent soul like my Allen's."

"During Aarohi's growing up years... when she was 3 years old I was approached by a boy who claimed that he was my brother and that I was abducted from his home when I was only 3 years old... I told mom about it and she said that it is true and that boy has been trying to find my whereabouts for the past 4 years... mom told me to go away with him, as she is unable to see my misery... but I told her that I cannot go, until the day I am convinced that Aarohi is safe... but destiny had other plans for Aarohi"

"Pretty soon after Aarohi's demise, my dad turned his evil eyes towards Abhinu and turned him into Sophia and the only way to save him was to drive him away from home with our cruelty."

"We almost succeeded when he eloped from home and came here. Mom knew that there was someone called Jairus Christopher in Purulia who would come to his aid if only he could get in touch with him, but destiny failed us, and my dad was able to catch hold of him again. That stupid man Jairus Christopher had the audacity to call up dad and share Sophia's location with dad"

*** The moment she called dad stupid, I turned to look at dad. He was ashamed and covered his face with his mouth as if he was ashamed of what he did that day. I found mom was also looking towards us and was smiling. Aamaya di looked like she had no clue what was happening***

"I had given up all hopes and was resigned to losing Sophia to my dad again. But I am grateful that Monika always stood by him and finally involved you all to rescue him."

"I know she must hate me for what I did to Abhinu but without our actions, there would be no way for her to know that Abhinu was in real danger. I do not ask for forgiveness but only want my father to pay for his crimes. I no longer care what happens to me."

"But please do protect my Mom she has sacrificed a lot for all of us... I don't care about Darika or Garima... they can rot in hell..."

"I fear my father's wrath, in losing Abhinu, could drive him to insane actions. I hope Mom does not have to bear the brunt of it."

"I also hope Sophia is found soon and please protect her from my father once you find him. By no means, my father should find her first. Please promise me you won't let that happen."

*** I was not sure what to react or how my mom is going to break the news to her about the death of her family. At least I know it's not going to be easy. I remember the day I came to know about the demise of Aarohi, I went into shock. Abhinu was also not there that day. Thanks to Surya who supported me during those bad times. ***

"Dear... if you don't mind can I ask you a question?" 

"Sure Aunty tell me...?"

"You have been referring to Abhinu as a she and calling his Sophia... why is that? you know he is a boy right..."

"Yes, aunty... I know... the thing is... a few months ago, I took a photograph of Abhinu and his medical records and shared it with my sister Amy... and I asked her the possibility of Sophia getting to lead a normal life as Abhinu..."

"so what did she say..."

"Well aunty Amy didi is one of the well known cosmetic surgeons of the country... after she went through his medical records... she concluded that Sophia's estrogen level is specifically very high due to the extreme amount of Testopel injected in her body... the reports indicated that every 3 month she was injected with 10 ml of testosterone pellets... she says that this hormone had to be injected once every 6 month for children who are under the age group of 11 years or below and that too it should not exceed 2 ml... at this rate, Sophia's life expectancy would not even reach the age of 30... She tells me that Sophia is at the final stages to becoming a girl... at this state... reversal of Gender Reassignment is not at all possible... she will have to live the rest of her life as Sophia."

**** What is she talking about... is she serious... ****

I stood up and hugged dad and still crying "Dad... please tell me Aamaya di is wrong... he cannot die so early..."

Everyone in the room stopped listening to Aamaya di's conversation and then Nishi Jethu placed his hand over my head. I turned to look at him and he said "Child... always remember... science has made a lot of progress and every day new discoveries are being made... who know maybe in the near future the scientists will find out a way to perform Gender Reassignment Surgeries too..."

"But Jethu... Aamaya di said Abhinu would not even reach the age of 30..." 

"and how old is he now..." Jethu asked.

   "So that means..." He pauses and begins to count and continued "you still have 17 years right?"

"I don't understand... what are you implying?"

"Don't you think in 17 years our doctors will not be able to discover a way to perform a reversal of Gender reassignment?"

"What if they won't? what if they are not even bothered to do something for the transgender people...?"

Well they won't but I guess you do..." he pauses again and then said, "Your dad tells me you are exceptionally brilliant in science... you have 17 years... maybe you might be the one to find out how to perform a reversal of gender reassignment and perhaps save the life of the guy you love the most..."

 "But Jethu... I am only 13 years old..."

"So..." he paused and then in an angry tone continued "so what you are 13... do you know the youngest scientist in the world in 15 years old... all you need is a guide and someone to keep pushing you... you already have the push and as for the guide... you can always let me know what you need and I promise you, everything will be made available to you..."

 "Are you sure Jethu... do you really think I can do this?"

"Well, that is up to you to take that call... if you have doubts about your capability... you don't deserve to call yourself his girlfriend... think about it and make the call..."

Jethu's words were harsh but it had a deeper meaning to it. He gave me a reason to have a goal in life. As a matter of fact, this is the least I can do to honor the person who gave me a reason to love reading books.

I thanked Jethu and then we began to watch Aamaya di and Mom talk. During my ordeal, we have missed a lot of their discussion.

"Aunty... you know what... if even I get a second shot of life... do you want to know what I wish to do?"

"What dear?"

"I want to take up Biology as a major and devote the rest of my life trying to find a cure for my Sophia... that's the least I can do for her?"

Wow, honey that a huge promise don't you think?"

I know Aunty... but Amell dada tells me that dad has performed the gender reassignment on 173 other children... and those 173 children could serve as an inspiration."

**** Wow, that felt strange... considering that we both were thinking about the same thing at the same moment. Amidst all my thoughts Mom suddenly said something which changed the course of our discussion. ****

"Dear... I don't know how to divulge this but there is something you need to know."

Aamaya di suddenly lifted her head, looked at mom and enquired "What..."

"There is a piece of bad news."

"You can tell me, aunty... I have received lots of bad news in my life...  another bad news won’t hurt much..."

"You are really a brave girl... Your heart has been hurt by the misdeeds of your dad... but I want you to be very strong because what I am about to tell you will not be easy to bear." Replied mom.

"What is it Aunty... please tell me..."

By the looks on my mom's face, it looked like she was struggling to find the right words. But suddenly Mom started "Five days ago we found the dead bodies of your Mom and your sisters at your residence."

Aamaya di suddenly raised her voice and responded "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT... THIS IS NOT FUNNY AUNTY..."

"Honey this is true... your Mom and your sisters are no more... and your dad is on the run... As per Rahat, your gardener, your dad is responsible for their death"

Aamaya di started crying uncontrollably. The feeling of loss can be a real pain sometimes. Mom suddenly leaned forward, stretched her hands, and hugged Aamaya di softly.

Suddenly I saw mom losing her balance and struggling to control herself. The real reason for losing her balance was Aamaya di, still in Mom’s hold, fell down unconscious on the floor and Mom went down together.

I saw Major Annie rushing towards the room where Aamaya di was lying unconscious with one of the medics trailing behind her.

"We need to take her to the M.I. room right now" shouted the Major.

As they were taking Aamaya di away, it dawned on me that Aamaya di was struggling with her own monsters for sixteen years and now she has lost every single person she ever loved. Uncle Banerjee is a twisted man and can hurt anyone for his twisted gains. I cannot let any harm come to dad. He has been fighting his own monsters for my sake.

                                                    TO BE CONTINUED…

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