Sophia's Freedom

Chapter 27: Journal: The Dilemma

The weekend has started and 10:00 am still seemed like an early start to the day. I had only 3 days left before I had to report back to school. Going through the diary I was able to learn a lot of things about Abhinu, but with all the bad things happening to him over the last few months, it seemed like destiny was conspiring against this poor little kid. 

But all the while my mind kept returning to the question of how was Abhinu associated with Sophia. I pushed my wandering thoughts aside and read on.

                                                           21st December 1993

Today Mom came to my room and told me that she went to my school yesterday. She wanted to discuss with the principal, my future and my prospect of getting back to school. Principal sir has informed her that I have been expelled from school because of my outrageous behavior and since there is a police record in my name no school will take me in.

The principal thinks that I am a threat to other students and they are not safe with me on the school campus. I tried to convince mom that it was not true and that Soham was the real culprit who instigated me to lose my mind and be coerced for the offense. She didn’t listen to any of my narratives and continued her aggression until she passes her judgment on my punishment. I was debarred from going out of the house, playing basketball and video games. She further pronounced that I need to be disciplined and should be helping her with some of the household chores as retribution for the misery I caused to her and the family. I stayed in the room for the whole day.  I wished papa was here today but that freedom that only the privileged has, An ominous like me don't deserve the comfort of his presence and understanding.

***Reading about Abhinu's despair, my eyes were filled with tears. I could feel his mind and despair. I wish I was there beside him to calm him down from his despair. For some reason I was able to connect with him, I was not sure how. I continued reading.

Abhinu wrote that for the next few days he was helping aunty in her household works and in return, aunty began to teach him all about managing the house. She was happy at the progress Abhinu was showing and promised him that she is going to reward him for the good work he has been doing. However, on Christmas eve when Abhinu insisted on coming to our house for the Christmas celebration she didn't allow him.

The whole family came to our place, but aunty locked him up in their storeroom and left. For some reason, Abhinu retaliated and tried to throw a tantrum, and in return, aunty ordered him to stop calling her mom because he has lost all right to do that. He even wrote that on new year's day, aunty made him feel miserable by asking him not to eat his breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the dining table along with the family. He was asked to eat alone in his room. To make matters worse, Abhishek Banerjee visited them in the evening, he brought a lot of gifts for everyone in the family including him, but both Aunty and Uncle forbid him to give the gifts to Abhinu and said that the day they feel that Abhinu has learned his lesson, they will give it to him.

Abhishek Banerjee also reminded him of that day, where he asked him about being born a girl and that his offer still stands. If Abhinu decides to be a girl and accepts to be his wife, he will make sure to give him a better life and that Aunty will also stop hurting him. He gave him 72 hours to decide and left in the evening. He said that he decided to ignore Abhishek's proposal and continued his day ***

                                                             2nd January 1994

I woke up at my usual time. I saw my sisters going to school, it was woeful. Uncle was not talking to me so I asked aunty if there is any update from the school authority on my schooling. She said that after her return, uncle went to meet the school principal and tried to convince him to kindly reverse his decision, but he didn’t agree. He is concerned about the safety of other students in the school. In other words, I am not allowed to step foot in school anymore and should be content with it.

It appeared like my entire world came crashing down. I desperately wanted to study. Aunty further added that she is not happy with all the misery I have caused her. I have let everyone, who believed in me, down. Uncle had to leave his work and plead in front of Harsh's parents. They were rude to him.

She asked me why I can't be like her daughters, they have never fought with anyone. She mentioned Aarohi specifically and asked me if I had ever seen her indiscipline. Aarohi and her sisters will always be mentioned for their good behavior and aunty feels proud of it. Just because of what I had done, Aamaya's classmates are afraid of talking to her.

All the parents in school are vilifying the family. I felt so bad and started to think that I am a devil reincarnated. I should have listened to Monika and controlled my anger; I didn't say anything and went to my room thinking about my mistake. They would not even allow me to talk with Monika or Surya.

*** Come on aunty, he is just a 7-year-old child, I know what he did was wrong, but he has already been punished enough. With all that he has gone through, I felt that instead of punishment and isolation, he needed the company of friends and family more. I don't think that more punishments will change or affect him positively. ***

                                                         3rd January 1994

As I woke up, I saw uncle sitting on the couch reading the newspaper. I went and requested him to please forgive me for what I have done. I can bear anything but not his silence towards me. Uncle kept the newspaper down and said politely that he was very disappointed with me. He was never summoned to the school for any indiscipline-related issues of his children and ashamed of my attitude.

I could not gather the courage to look at his face but managed to reply softly that I never meant to harm Harsh. He called me a ragamuffin and disparaged me with offensive names which irritated me immensely and I lost my cool. Uncle told me that if someone calls me names, it does not mean that I am like that. He has taken care of me like my father and aunty has allowed me to address her as a mother. If such a petty thing bothers me then it means that I don't consider them as family. I am no one to them.

I was guilt-ridden and went to my room. Later in the afternoon, Uncle came to my room and said that he will try to arrange for my studies at home. He doesn't want me to be functionally illiterate. He also gave me a cell phone and said that since I have been a good boy all these days, he wanted me to have it. He said that was one of the few gifts Abhishek dada brought for me. I was very happy and thanked uncle for it. He told me that later on Abhishek dada will call me and I can thank him for the gift too. Aunty told me that until class starts at home, I am grounded.

I kept praying for the lady from the child welfare service to visit them in the first week of January and take me away from the family. I want to grow up in an orphanage.

*** I wish Abhinu stays strong and hopefully, this cellphone is just the beginning of a better life for Abhinu. I hope this Abhishek Banerjee is not some creep.  Abhinu needs to be mentally strong if he has to live with this family. ***

                                                                       4th January 1994

Today was the worst day of my life. I wish I had not taken that decision rashly and have decided to stay with this family. Everyone is very mean to me, and it seems like I would have had a better life if I was growing up in an orphanage. I was very happy yesterday when uncle gave me the cell phone. At around the c***k of dawn, around 5 am, Abhishek dada called me and began to ask about me. He was talking in a very polite manner. He kept talking about me, about my loss, and if I want to get back to school someday. He also said that he was not feeling sleepy and that he feels nice talking to me. He feels that we are meant to be together. After talking for almost 30 minutes, as he was about to hang up the call, he reminded me again that 48 hours had passed and that I have only 24 hours more to decide. 

I decided that I had ignored his proposal enough and decided to complain to uncle once everyone wakes up. The moment I complained to uncle, he confronted Abhishek dada about it and he outrightly denied that he ever said such a thing. I tried to prove to uncle that Abhishek dada called me, but for somehow the call logs were also showing empty. I had no way to prove that Abhishek dada called me. As a matter of fact, uncle instantly said that he knows his son too well to even believe that he could actually put down such a disgusting request in front of me. 

He feels that I was trying to gain sympathy by blaming dada for something which he has never said. I am probably jealous and that's why I am complaining so that I can enjoy dada getting beaten up once again, just like the day when dad was beating Abhishek dada and I enjoyed it. 

Uncle also reminded me of the day when I said that dada tried to kiss me, which was probably a blatant lie and that I probably wanted to take the place of his son. Uncle felt so helpless in front of my dad since he was unable to protect his own son from my dad and had to helplessly ask Abhishek not to step foot in the house.

Uncle forewarned me that because of the lies, I have been saying about Abhishek dada, I should be well prepared to face the consequence. I could only guess what fate awaits me by the menace in his voice.

Although I was shaken up, self-preservation forbade me to expose any weakness in front of Aunty.

*** God... I wish I could get my hands on this Abhishek Banerjee character... I am going to teach him a lesson he is never going to forget. I won't blame the Banerjee's for trusting their son so much but then blindly believing in someone as creepy as Abhishek is also not good. They should at least have a little trust in Abhinu. It might be possible he is not lying. you cannot deny that.***

                                                       TO BE CONTINUED...