Sophia's Freedom

Chapter 29 : Being Abhishek Banerjee's Girl

I decided not to waste any more time. What I had just read was freaking me out and I can waste any moment to know what happens next. I wish I am wrong to think about the worst but if what I am thinking is the truth, than I should really inform mom all about it. I continued reading the journal.

                                                        7th January 1994

It's been 3 days now, I was in intense hunger as they didn't give me anything to eat. Aunty was pretending to be so good the other day, when she allowed me to visit Monika's home. I was so excited to tell her about the good news that I didn't eat anything at Monika's place. A throbbing headache along with growling of the stomach demanded my immediate attention but I was also adamant not to submit to Abhishek Dada's unfair demand. I will not dress up in girl’s attire to satisfy them.

I tried to check the 2 lockers once again just to ensure that my mind was not playing games with me. But no matter how much I checked the answer was the same. It was totally empty. There is not a single cloth in it. They had also made sure to remove the bed sheet and the blanket from my bed before locking me up in the room. Since it is the winter season, and Abhishek Dada made sure to turn on the AC to bring my morale down. I was shivering and there was nothing in the room that I could use to cover myself up.

 My willpower finally gave up and I couldn’t take it anymore and I passed out around 2:00 p.m. Some-times later it felt like someone sprinkled water on my face, and I regained my consciousness. As I opened my eyes, I found myself lying on the couch and the dress was on me. I felt a sharp pain on my nose and ears and figured out that a pair of earrings was hanging from my ears. I touched my nose to understand the source of the pain and figured that my left nostril has been pierced and a nose-ring was attached to it.

I got up from the couch with a start and tried to tear up the dress they put me on. Aunty stood in front of me and gave me a tight slap. I fell on the couch crying and then Abhishek Dada said that if I destroy the dress he got for me, they will lock me up in the storeroom for the whole week. He also said that it doesn't matter to them if I die in the locked storeroom out of hunger.

I had no choice but to accept my fate and bow to their whims. They looked very pleased. As a reward, Aunty let me use Aarohi's room forever. That was the most beautiful room in the house. Aunty told me that I can wear any of her dresses. She asked me to stay in the room for a while. She opened Aarohi's wardrobe and showed me everything she owned.

She took out a beautiful piece of anklet and put that on me. She told me that the stones in the anklet were of diamonds. I let her put that on me without throwing any tantrum. She also placed a few bangles on both of my hands. After everything was done, she told me that I should never remove the bangles, anklet, nose ring and the earrings from my body. She said that for a girl these are the most important pieces of jewellery and they should never be taken off. 

Finally, she got food for me and fed me with her own hands. After having food, she called me to her room. As I was about to enter her room, Abhishek Dada called me and said that I need to be dressed up for 4 weeks only. During this 4 weeks period, he wanted me to keep the cell phone always with me and whenever he calls me, I must pick up his call and keep chatting with him. If I behave like a good girl friend for him during this 4 weeks period, I can return to my true self. I am not required to wear all these dresses anymore.

I thanked him for it and then went to Aunty's room. As I entered the room, she touched my head with her head and blessed me. I don't want to be a girl, every time she calls me a girl, it hurts my self-respect and I feel helpless. I cannot express the horror and shame of wearing girl’s outfit in front of all 3 girls, 2 of them are much younger than me. If that was not all, Abhishek dada wants me to pretend to be his girlfriend. Out of shame I locked myself in Arohi's room the whole day. I can only curse at my fate, imagining the horror that is in store for me for the next one month and only crying with no one to comfort me.

*** Damn these 2 freaks, they should be treated in a mental institute. I wonder how Aamaya reacted when she saw Abhinu in that avatar. Something is wrong with these two dumbasses. Has anybody ever heard about someone forced to be in girls attire to be disciplined or as punishment? This is s******c, cruel, and inhumane. ***

                                                    8th January 1994

After yesterday's ordeal, this is my second day as a girl. Still ashamed and embarrassed at my current predicament, I wanted to stay inside my room the whole day and avoid Aamaya di, Garima and Darika’s silent giggles which humiliated me even more. Dressing up as a girl in front of 4 women is embarrassing. I kept wondering and praying god to tell me the reason why did I deserve this punishment. My self-confidence is fully shattered. Just one month ago I was a happy go lucky guy, whose only dream was to become a great basketball player and make Aunty and Uncle proud with my achievements. Today, just because of one single incident they are making a mockery of my existence.

Even my training in karate is not helping me in this case. I just prayed that these 4 weeks ends fast, and my harrowing ordeal with this transformation ends. The day turned worse when Monika and Surya decided to show up at our house. I was so ashamed of my situation that I locked myself up in my new room and hid inside the closet.

Aamaya di had a spare key and decided to bring them in to embarrass me more. It felt like she was doing that purposefully. Suddenly the door of the closet opened, and it was Rahat Kaka who caught hold of my hands and dragged me out. I shouted and kicked back to stop him from dragging me out and touching me inappropriately, but he was too strong for me.

Monika and Surya glanced at me from head to toe and appeared startled. After Rahat kaka left, I wanted to greet them, but I was so ashamed that my voice froze. I didn’t know what to do and at that point Monika did the inevitable. She pushed me back. I lost my balance and fell on the floor. She asked Aamaya di, about me and told her that I was not the Abhinu, she once loved and cared about. I looked like a Punchinello.

They pronounced not to come back and meet me again. I saw tears in Monika's eyes as she left the house. After Monika left, aunty told me not to be shy and come out of the room. She asked Aamaya di to teach me the body language of the girls, things like how to sit on the table, differences between the postures of a girl and a boy, how to apply makeup, how a girl should walk wearing heels, everything I should know about being a girl.

Later aunty told me that I am missing my long hair. Once my hair grows up no one would be able to say that I am not a boy. I told aunty that by the end of the month, I will be a boy again, so she might not be able to see me with long hair. Aunty smiled and said ‘let’s see.’ and winked at me. She also said that during the whole month that I will live like a girl, for every mistake I do, an extra week of dressing as a girl would be added as a retribution. I should be extra cautious everyday. I wonder how Aarohi was able to carry it without being embarrassed about what others will think about her. Aarohi was mentally strong but I am not.

The only relief that I had was the creep Abhishek was gone early morning. I don't even have the heart to call him a dada. He doesn't deserve to be anyone's brother.

*** What the hell...!!! What did I just read, Is Abhinu our Sophia, I don't believe it...? He has been a girl for 6 years; this is not right... Did he just reveal indirectly that Aarohi was also a boy living as a girl? What was her secret? I will have to talk to Monika to confirm this. If this is true, why has she kept mum about this.***

 It is said that time heals almost everything, but after going through the journal of Abhinu post his transition to Sophia and meeting him(her) on Raksha Bandhan, I was skeptical about it. He was subject to cruel and insulting treatment every other day in the hands of Amaya, Garima, Darika or his Aunt. Worst of all pretending to be a girlfriend for Abhishek thats sick. 

I am surprised even to imagine all the humiliation sustained by him and his resilience to continue his life. But what was uncle doing, why is he being a silent spectator. It appears horrifying but true. If all this is true, I must admire the mental strength of these 2 kids who survived through this trauma. I bet Aarohi was too young to even understand what was happening to her, but Abhinu is old enough to understand the injustice being done to him.

 I wonder what Monica must have felt seeing her best friend in such a terrible situation. The boy she loved dearly is being tortured beyond imagination and she is unable to do anything at all. Had I been in her place and a spectator of serial criminal harassment of any helpless child, I would have gone into depression. I wonder if the bout of low spirit and depression, she went through, was resultant of this. As things started to make sense, I was overwhelmed by a sense of indignation and disbelief.

I was so enraged that my scattered mind could not form a coherent thought. I promised myself, 'Aunty you and your precious family had destroyed my sweet Monika's life. Your family's actions forced my only sister to attempt ending her life.' 

Yes, it will be difficult for me to ever distance myself with the series of incidents which was the cause of my sister's depression. I was not clear about what exactly Monika was going through. But now that I could put things together and understand it clearly, I want retribution and these thoughts echoed in my head, 'I am not going to spare you and your ugly family for that.’

                                                                     TO BE CONTINUED…