Sophia's Freedom

Chapter 46 : Happy News

I began to think whatever Koushik dada just told me. After a lot of thinking I was still unable to find the answer to the question "What could dad have done differently?" 

No matter how hard I tried, I was hitting a blank spot. Finally, after a lot of thinking, I finally understood that if dad would have gone against the agency, they might have removed him from the case, and then no one will be there to protect him.

Suddenly it dawned on me, Dad works for some Insurance company, then why would the elite National Investigation Agency want dad to work with them. Was dad lying about his nature of work or did he lie to me about this letter?

I decided to ignore my line of thought and picked up the roll of papers, which was lying on the bed. As I opened the roll, the handwriting looked familiar, and I sensed that these are the pages from one of Abhinu's journals.

                                                                   11th February 1994

I am writing the journal after 6 days. What happened last Friday made me believe that I possessed a will strong enough to end my life or was mentally ill-equipped so that the incident could not hurt or affect me at all. 

As usual, Abhishek dada called me early in the morning. Nowadays he keeps telling me that he doesn't feel sleepy unless he listens to my beautiful voice. Recently I learned that Abhishek dada has installed a camera in my room and would occasionally like to keep watching me. He told me to lift up my top and show my chest to him. Recently my chest has started to develop 2 bulges that resemble a girl's breasts. Whenever I go to the washroom to have my bath, I could see the bulges in the mirror, which would disgust me the most. I have recently started to hate my body.

Dada was in a happy mood today and he told me that aunty told him that I have been a good girl for the past month and that he should reward me. He promised me that he would grant any 2 wishes. I didn't have to think and immediately asked him if he would give my old life back. I want to be a boy again and go back to school.

He was quiet for some time and then said "your wish is my command, my queen..." he paused and then continued saying that he will convince aunty to forgive me and from next Sunday I get my regular life back... I don't have to be a girl anymore... but  he had 2 conditions?"

When I asked him about his condition, he said that I will have to follow the regular routine of talking to him every morning and that today was Garima's birthday and he wants me to participate in the party. There will be a test for me, which will consider my fate. When I told him that I don't have a boys attire, he replied that I am a smart girl, and I should be able to figure something out. If I want my life back, I have to participate... how I do that was up to me, and saying that he disconnected the call.

I got up from the bed, got myself ready and began to help aunty decorate the hall for the upcoming party. As I was deep in thought, aunty came to me and said that my one month of detention is almost complete. However, I had to continue this charade for 2 extra weeks because Darika reported something against me to Aunty. Whatever Darika reported were all lies. But Aunty told me that Abhishek dada had called her up and asked her not to extend the detention for 2 more weeks. 

I was so happy that for once it felt like Abhishek dada actually meant what he said. I couldn’t express my feeling that day. Aunty also said that the other day, uncle called and he also believes that they had embarrassed me enough and I have learned my lesson and so there is no need for me to be dressed anymore.

I was still in a dilemma when Aunty said she wanted me to socialize in the party with all the outsiders dressed as the girl I currently am. I feel ashamed of myself, who wouldn't be, I knew very well, that everyone in the family is ashamed of me too.

By 3 o’clock the room was ready for the party. Aunty told me that the theme for the party was Masquerade Ball. Everyone would be wearing a costume with a mask over their face to hide their identity. She said that since Abhishek dada wants me to be at the party, she felt that in order to protect my modesty and save me from humiliation, a masquerade party would be safe for me. She enthusiastically asked Aamaya di to dress me up for the party. 

Aunty had to go to the doctor for a late check-up and would not be home till 10:00. She ordered my sisters to keep an eye on me during the party and ensure that no harm would come to me during the course of the party.

Aamaya di helped me put on a black lace skirt with a white flower stitched on the left and along with that, she made me put a white top over it. She made me wear a b*a underneath it so that it would hold my newly developed breasts together. She asked me to put on white nylon stockings which complimented the dress. I put on the white calf-length boots with wedge heels to accentuate the dress. Finally, she handed me a pair of white gloves and asked me to put them on. Once I was ready, she gave me a mask to cover my face. She told me that this mask is known as the Volto which would conceal my face. I guessed this being a masquerade party would work to my advantage. Little did I knew….

Around 4 p.m. the guests started to arrive. Aamaya di came to me and informed that a few of my classmates would also be there at the party and requested me to be a little bit cautious. She told me that even though the dress and the masks would help me conceal my identity, a smart person would easily figure out I am not a girl. 

Because of the masks, each individual is a stranger unless someone tries to interact with one another. I decided to stand in a corner and watch them having fun.

Watching their enjoyment, I regretted the unfortunate fight with Harsh on that day. Had I not fought with him, I would not have been sent to the detention center. As I was sent to the detention center, the authorities expelled me from the school. Following my expulsion from school, I lost all my friends and finally my identity. I am not Abhinu anymore. 

I lost my identity as the boy I was born with. I am scared by the simple possibility of the consequence that if any of my friends know about my transformation, what would happen to me. My eyes were wet but due to the mask on my face, I cannot rub the tears off my eyes too. I just wish everything to be normal once again.

Time passed and at around 6 ‘O'clock the dance started. I was standing in a corner trying to remain invisible from the gathering, when all of a sudden, the music changed, and everyone came down to the center of the room to dance. 

Suddenly someone approached me, stretched his hands, and asked me for a dance. It was quite an embarrassing moment for me. A boy asking me for a dance. He was taller than me and well built. I guess, he might be one of Aamaya di’s classmates. 

I was really terrified by the prospect of what would happen if this boy recognized me and makes out that I am not really a girl. I decided to enjoy the moment without thinking about the consequences.

We kept dancing, and for the first time in a while I was happy. It appeared like the boy failed to make out my true identity because during the past 3 months, living as a girl, I changed my body language to be more girly. For that matter even my thought, my behavior has changed. 

After a while, everyone started to leave. The boy was a true gentleman, and since we both were hungry, we decided to have our dinner. I took some food on the plate and went to my room. The boy followed me too.

I feared opening the mask in front of him lest he figures out who I am and changes his mind. As we both sat on the bed, he looked at me and said that I am a very good dancer, a very talented artist too. I asked him what he meant, and he told me that for a boy I was easily masquerading as a girl. Not everyone has such talents. He also said that I need not worry about anything because he knows that I am Abhinu, and my secret will be safe with him. 

I came to know from him that he is Sam's elder brother Daniel. He was the first person to date who didn’t come to any conclusion even after knowing who I was. He told me that Sam had a crush on me since the first day she saw me at school, but she was an introvert and thought that if I don’t like her, she would be heartbroken. So, she decided to remain one of my best friends and move on to the afterlife happily knowing fully well that she had been my true friend till her last breath.

He told me that it takes a lot of courage to be dressed up as a girl in a masquerade ball. I was not afraid of him anymore but I still decided not to tell him about me and instead I lied to him that I was missing my dearest friend Aarohi and so I am dressed up as her. I took off the mask and had dinner together. I also told him that I love Monika and that I was sorry I couldn’t save Sam on the day of the accident. 

He told me that he is never angry with me, and as a matter of fact, he promised Sam that he will always take care of me and that’s why he attended today’s ball to learn more about me. Before he left, he stepped forward and kissed me on my cheek, and left. While leaving, he told me that Darika and Garima are spreading some rumors in school and he just came to confirm those facts.

I asked him what rumors and he told me about how I used to secretly dress up as a girl when Aarohi was alive and that one day uncle came to know about it, so they allowed me to live like a girl all the time at home. I had to tell him that it was a lie and that aunty promised me that after Sunday I will no longer have to be dressed up as a girl at home too. He was happy when he heard that and wished me good luck in the future.

He even asked my permission if I would be comfortable if he keeps visiting me once in a while when no one else would be around. I said yes since I am in dearth of friends and someone approached me to be a friend. After he left, I pulled down my mask and went downstairs to put my plate in the sink. The boy was nowhere to be seen.

                                                            TO BE CONTINUED...

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