INTO THE UNKNOWN

4. THE EYES AND THE VISION

I never knew that someone’s eyes can be so captivating, so intriguing like an illusionary mirror well whose depth cannot be perceived with open eyes. The same was with those two cold, grey orbs that had stared at me with so much of conflicting emotions that for a moment, I started to think whether the bearer of the eyes had ever felt something named as ‘EMOTION’ or not.

I was so drawn towards the eyes and I didn’t even notice when two hands landed upon both of our shoulders at the same time, breaking our staring contest, drawing me out of my reverie and perhaps him too. The disturbed look that etched on the man’s face was confusing but I didn’t get the chance to think about it as suddenly four bulky men guarded that cold, distant eye bearer against my view, making me glare at their stout backs.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw the group moving into a private chamber at the corner of the café. There were eight people in total and from their dress ups one thing was crystal clear, five of them were definitely some millionaires, spoilt brats you see. The other three seemed to be less intimidating but nevertheless, they exuded power and confidence.

As I sat at our table and stared out of the window, my thoughts swirled around the man whose face looked so distant and yet familiar. That did not mean I have seen him earlier, ever in my life. We both were actually engaged in a staring competition and man it was embarrassing. But at that moment, I didn’t care about what people would say or contemplate about how the scene unfolded.

“Jean”, a soft voice whispered my name making me turn my head at the direction of the caller when I was met with a confused pair of orbs. Carefully looking around our table I noticed the striking absence of one person, “Where is Michael?”

She shook her head and handed my coffee to me as she spoke softly, “he went to the University. Told me he has some sort of unfinished business there. Typical Michael. Jean” When she left the sentence incomplete, I knew what she meant as I nodded my head slowly and motioned her to pay the bill. She left the table without asking any more questions, leaving me with my own thoughts. “Let's go. I will drop you off”, I raised my head as Ana was holding my bag out to me, motioning me to get up from our seat as the bill was already being paid.

Sighing heavily, I stood up on shaky legs and grabbed the bag from her, carefully not to damage the drawing book inside it. You can say that it’s more precious to me than a diamond stone. Walking out of the café, my eyes involuntarily went back towards that booth when I found a cold, distant pair of grey eyes staring back at mine with so much intensity that I felt my insides shiver in an unknown anticipation.

His face was stoic, his jaw tensed as if he was fighting off something as his fist clenched and unclenched repeatedly. My gaze remains fixated on his face which showed millions of emotions at a time and something told me that even though his eyes were fixed on the man in front of him, his mind was somewhere else.

Somewhere or……

“Jean, come on”, I moved away from my spot as soon as Ana’s voice hit my eardrums and walked out of the café. It was around four past thirty minutes in the evening and that’s why the lane was quite busy, with all the lavish cars making their way through. On the opposite side of the road, three Audi SUVs were parked with more hulks standing by the side as if they were standing for the annual prayer.

A chuckle left my lips as the thought suddenly appeared in my mind, which made Ana look at me with peering curiosity. I mouthed a nothing and continued to walk on the other side of the road to catch a cab. Suddenly I felt a vibration in my Jeans pocket, “must be my phone”, I muttered while checking it out. And indeed it was, only without any message or calls.

It was a notification, an alarming sort of. The moment I saw it, my eyes literally bulged out of the sockets as I started hyperventilating all of a sudden. My hands trembled as shivers ran down my spine and even when I wanted to remove my eyes from the screen, I just couldn’t.

“Jea…”, Ana stopped mid-sentence as she finally saw what I was looking at and she too gave the same reaction.

“I-“

She took me in a side hug and comfortably ran her hands up and down my arm while I sought her warmth, something I have been looking to from past eight years. “Go, I’ll wait for you. We’ll meet again in the morning tomorrow. You need this, just go”, she whispered silently and if it wasn’t for the unexpected silence around us, I wouldn’t have heard her.

As my trembling came to an end and my heart rate returned back to its original rate, I pulled myself back and wiped my face with the sleeves. Unknowingly some tears had slipped out of my eyes when I was hugging her but that’s something I’m quite familiar with.

As much as I hate tears, I couldn’t stay away from it. Not that the tears were willing to go away from my life. Nodding my head at her, I looked at the opposite direction of the café, the downtown road that will lead me to my destination. “Jean”, I looked back at her as she handed me her pen drive, “take care of yourself and please, be safe”.

I held her gaze for a few seconds and then without looking back, I started to walk in the opposite direction towards the cab stand. I walked for around fifteen minutes absent-mindedly when finally my gaze settled on the banner and I sped up my tempo.

If it was any other day and you would have asked me to walk continuously for even ten minutes, I would have thrown you into a hole in the ground and would have covered it with a black plank. I don’t have any shame in accepting that I actually hate walking.

But today I knew only this walk can save me from the much-required breakdown that was soon going to happen. I boarded a cab and told the driver about the destination. For a moment, I felt as if a disturbance and yet a curiosity etched on his face but when he started the engine, I shrugged myself out of those thoughts and focused on the blurring scenario.

One hour later I stood at the beginning of the worn out grass path that gradually disappeared amidst the thick trees of the vast wood. I was out of the city as the forests lie at a minimum distance of around eighty kilometres. Yes, far away from the central population but the forest was quite close compared to the other places.

I suppose this is the closest place we have in the city in which I live. This particular place is my favourite, the one place where I let my true-self come forth and allow myself to feel the burden of emotions. I pulled the sleeves of my beige coloured cardigan until my knuckles to avoid the freezing of my hand due to the decreasing temperature in the surroundings.

The temperature here was generally low as compared to in the city and me being susceptible to cold, I was feeling rather uncomfortable. Though the thought of turning back and moving back to the city sounded tempting, I knew I couldn’t, not when I had something to resolve.

So without thinking, I started to walk on the less traversed road which was now familiar to me. After all, I visit this place more than anywhere else and this particular section has been imprinted on my mind like a map. So, getting lost in the midst of the fog and the thick trees is something impossible for me.

Remembering the path, I continued to walk in between the forest, the temperature dropping gradually as I forwarded along the woods. Darkness started to spread along the horizon as the sounds of flapping winds reverberated in the cacophonous silence of the woods. This is the part that I loved the most- dark night with a shining moon above, cold breeze blowing across the woods, fluttering the leaves along with it.

As the clear land came into my view, a serene smile etched across my pace as I quickened my pace and soon I arrived at the grassland with a beautiful lake at the centre of it. I had discovered this last in my last visit when I was running in this forest. Now you must be confused as to why I love forests and dense woods.

Well you see, my so-called parents always left me in the open to fight the harshness of the cold winter or the scorching heat of the summer. As I grew up, I found solace within the forest that was situated behind that bastard home. This is the main reason why I love this wildness. I always feel this strange connection with the air here, with the singing birds, with the mists and with the trees.

Strolling along the banks of the lake, I found a comfortable position to sit where I could clearly have a view of the lake along with feeling the coolness of the forest seep into my skin from behind. Sitting at the base of the huge tree, I leaned back on its bark and kept my bag aside, my phone already switched off.

Staring at the seamless horizon of the forest on the other side of the lake, I closed my eyes and lied back down, the wetness of the forest soil making its presence known through the flimsy material of my cardigan. My mind got lost in the abyss of the painful memories of this day, memories that still haunt me to the core.

A shiver ran down my spine as I gathered my knees and scooped myself in my own cocoon, trying to soothe my aching mind. Six years ago, on this same day, I witnessed the most horrific incident of my life that changed my whole life and made me what I am today. They killed her right in front of me as I lied there, watching them decapitate her arms, her legs and finally snapping her neck and leaving her body there as a food for the animals.

I couldn’t save just as I couldn’t save anything and if it wasn’t for Anna, they would have killed me too. I never realized that I was crying by then until I felt wetness on my cheeks due to my own tears that had somehow escaped from my eyes. Its been so many years and yet every year I feel like everything is happening once again.

Wiping the dampness from my cheeks, I sat upright and took out my drawing book. At this point, I didn’t want to lose myself again and surrender to the pain that was ready to take over once again. I could feel the darkness clawing at my brain but I couldn’t let that win again this time. So, I settled for that one thing which will calm me down, drawing.

Staring at the moonlit sky with innumerable shining stars, I allowed my painter mind to take over for the time being as my hands started to move on its own accord. My eyes were fixated on the paper on which I was sketching my own imagination. After around half an hour, I finished the sketch and looked at it.

But the moment my eyes fell on my own imagination, my eyes fell out of my sockets as I stared at the sketch with shock and mirth. It was a wolf, a large one I must say with a dark shaded body except for the end of its tail, the feet and the tip of its ears. But the main thing that amazed me was the eyes. I never knew that I could draw an animal’s eye with so much perfection that one look at it and you will see how much its eyes were burdened.

I must have seen this animal somewhere or else why I would draw such thing and that’s why I needed to find it, the wolf who might be anywhere in this forest. Thinking that I tore the piece of paper and kept the drawing copy inside my bag, with only the sketched paper in my hand. Getting up from the ground, I dusted my pants and was about to turn back when a snarl like sound came from across the lake making my eyes go wide with fear.

Shakingly I turned back only to come face to face with my worst nightmare, a wolf. But this wasn’t the one I drew on the page, the one standing across the lake, straight in front me was more vicious and fearful. Its snout was drawn into a snarl, the canines protruding out as he barred his sharp, razor-like teeth at me. The red eyes glowered at my trembling state as I clutched the paper in my hand tightly.

Moving one step back, I saw the wolf taking one step forward, mimicking my own actions. Oh great, now this wolf too was following my steps! I measured the distance between us both and even though I knew I could never match a wolf’s speed, especially the one who was hell-bent on eating me up, I thought to use the only element that could save me tonight, the element of surprise.

After sending a silent prayer to the forest to help me out, I sprinted in the same way as I came, my legs hitting against the forest floor with great force. From behind me, I could hear the sturdy paws causing vibrations against the earth and that itself compelled me to push more as I increased my pace. Just as I thought that I was gone, the sound of its paws hitting the floor no longer reached my ears, sending my heart in an erratic beating pattern. Knowing that your enemy is behind you is bad but knowing he is out there and you don’t know where is the worst feeling, something that I was feeling now.

Though I wanted to stop as my lungs desperately needed oxygen, I couldn’t bring myself to even slow down my pace until I reached the borderline of the forest from where the highway could be clearly seen. And as I was about to put a step on the road, loud howls filled the air, two distinct howls.

One painful howl that sounded just like the snarling tone and it meant that somehow that pained howl was of the wolf who was chasing me. The other howling sound perplexed me. Because a wolf howl was able to set my heart in a comfortable envelope, sending warmth and the feeling of safety throughout my whole body making my heartbeat even.

My mind didn’t follow the sequence of events of the day but somewhere deep down, my heart recognized the eyes and the howl of the wolf that had me craving for something that I have never felt in my life; love, unconditional love.