INTO THE UNKNOWN

2. REVIVAL OF THE TORMENT

Hii, this is the next part of my story!!!

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JEANETTE

Guess what?

Today is the most important day of my life and I’m still laying on my fluffy bed, wrapped up in my comforters and sulking. Yup, that’s right I’m still here, in my room, snuggled to my pillow and crying my heart out. Nature’s call!!!

This is the first reason why I hate being a girl. After all, I have to endure one painfully long week’s torture every month without a miss. It was already ten past eight and the meeting with that blasted CEO was set at sharp ten in the morning. So much for the company’s profit!!!

Grudgingly, I got up from my lovely bed and walked into the bathroom. Stripping down from my clothes, I stepped into the shower and allowed the warm water to cascade down my muscles, releasing the tensions in my fibres. Last night I didn’t get an ounce of sleep, thanks to the weird dream I had for the fifth time this month.

Though I wanted to spend hours under the running water, I knew my life had never been so considerate in allowing me to enjoy the moments. Rushing out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my petite frame, I walked in the closet. This was the best part of my entire apartment- the closet where I actually spend a lot of time.

My house was small, like really small but when I bought this part, I made sure that I had enough space to arrange a walk-in-closet. Shrugging the sweet thoughts of my mind, I slipped into my black coloured pencil skirt that reached my knees. I was about to take out my shirt from the closet, the entire closet shook from the loud blaring sound of my phone.

“Seriously Ana? Now you won’t even let me dress properly”, I mentally cursed her as I walked out of the closet wearing my skirt and my brassiere only. “Hello”, I said angrily into the phone before slipping my arms into the shirt while listening to her nonsense blabbers.

“It’s only 9:30 in the morning and they won’t be there till ten. So why on earth you are hyperventilating as if you are going to have s*x at this moment with a stranger?”, my question had immediately shut her down and for a moment I was thankful for it.

I knew I was coming off as a rude, but I couldn’t help it. She was slowly getting on my nerves and frankly speaking, that was the last thing I wanted at this moment. Gathering all my belongings and tucking in the ear-piece, I put my phone in my blazer’s pocket and closed the apartment’s doors.

“Just give me fifteen minutes. I will reach there before the time. Trust me with this Ana, I’ve got it”, discussing a bit about the deal, I cut the call and focused on the driving.

My mind travelled back to the time when once I had to walk miles just to catch a bus and then again walk miles after miles to reach my destination. I never had an easy life nor do I expect it to be in that way.

I’ve accepted whatever life has always thrown in my ways. What would I’ve done other than to accept my fate? It isn’t like I had many options like the multiple choice question. In fact, I never had any option about anything and now, I feel as if this life was never mine.

It’s a wonder how every time I walk down the memory lane, I usually forget everything around me, everyone around me. So, when I say that I never realised that my car had rolled into the underground parking lot of the humongous building, it’s the truth.

I had never been this much lazy as I was being now. Even opening the door seemed to be a far-fetched idea and I desperately was hoping for the meeting to get cancelled. I didn’t know why I felt as if it wasn’t the correct time to meet that blasting CEO.

I felt as if this meeting was happening too early and now don’t ask me the reason because god forbid, my mind doesn’t even know why it is feeling in that way. This was a moment where you feel like you are going to fall down from a cliff and you think it’s too early for you to have fractured arm and leg!

Slowly I got out from the car and walked towards the entrance of the building. Ana and others were already standing at the door by the time I reached there and by the look on their faces, I knew I was in danger.

“Hii guys! Let’s move inside”, I said hurriedly without meeting their gazes and was about to enter the building when a warm hand got wrapped around my arm.

My whole body froze and acting out of my instincts, I turned around sharply and pulled my hand with a great force that caused the person to stumble forward.

When I saw it was none other than Michael, I muttered a sorry under my breath and ran to the nearby washroom. The look he gave me before I left nearly broke me into pieces once again and brought the buried pain once again.

I didn’t want to cry in front of them, not in front of him at least and so I ran away, just like I always do. The sound of hurried steps and the heels hitting the polished marble floor filled the silent hall room as I hurried down the alley.

No sooner I got behind the closed doors of my safety abode than I started to take deep breathes. I knew the panic attack was getting to me and before I could react, Ana held my hands together tightly, preventing me from scratching my arm. I looked at her with blurry eyes and saw her lips moving but no words reached my ears.

You will never be up to someone’s good.

Stop it please, I don’t want to hear that voice again but I couldn’t help as the voice started to become louder in my head.

You will always be a shame to us, to your closed ones

I wanted that voice to go away desperately. It had been a long time since I had heard the same voice speaking those hurtful words. To say I was scared would be an understatement; I was terrified.

Once again I felt as if the darkness was capturing me within its clutches and no matter how vigorously I thrashed, I couldn’t escape the clutches.

So I did the best thing I used to do, I shut my eyes tightly and focused on the good memories. I remembered the times I had spent with my friends, I remembered the time when I got a call from Cambridge University and was informed of my selection there. Slowly, I felt my muscles sag and my cries turning into soft sobs.

Once again, I felt my senses working as Ana’s frantic cries reached my ears and my vision was cleared. Her hands were cupping my cheeks as I felt her thumb wiping my tears and muttering sweet words. “Take deep breaths, Jean, come on girl, just like that”, I listened to her sweet voice and slowly my hearing came back to normal, the dark voice going back into the abyss of my mind.

When she felt my breathing was getting normal, she stood up and took out the medicines from my purse. Handing it to me, she urged me to take it. “But Ana, I-“, I stopped mid-sentence when I understood the reason she gave me those pills.

“Take it, Jean, you need that. I know, I know you promised yourself that you will never take the meds. But, you and me, we both know that you are far from becoming normal again. The nightmares are still there”, I released a strangled sob listening to her words.

Somewhere, in my mind, I knew she wasn’t wrong. In fact, she was never wrong!

Taking the pills with a shivering hand, I gulped it down and then stood up. Though my legs were shaking, I knew I needed to get everything back. “Ana, the meeting-”

She cut me off with her hand and forced me out of the washroom. My mind on one side was screaming to be there, inside, locked away from everything. But my life wasn’t similar anymore. At one point in time, I desperately wished to get away from the locked, dark rooms and now, I was wishing to stay there.

Life never ceases to amaze me!!!

“The meeting got cancelled. His P.A. called Michael and told that instead of in our office, he wants the meeting to be held in theirs as he is stuck in his busy schedule”, she said with an irritated voice and to say that I wasn’t taken aback would be a huge lie.

The great ANNAISE NYAH RAVEN was actually getting irritated on someone and that also a stranger!

Now that’s something unexpected. “Ana”, I called out her name to which she abruptly halted on her tracks and turned to face me with a frown settled on her face, “You sure you’re not having some sort of fever or not on periods?”

The way her face turned red from embarrassment to anger was worth watching. I giggled seeing her red face as she huffed and went away, leaving me standing in the hallway alone.

“Jean, if you really don’t want to get a B+ in your class, then I suggest you hurry”, her voice startled me and that’s when I realised I was late to my college.

“s**t!”, muttering some more curses under my breath, I walked towards the exit of the building or rather ran where the entire group was waiting for me. “You should have warned me”, I glared at the woman whom I sometimes want to strangle hard.

Shrugging her shoulder, she got into her car but not before saying something that had be extremely furious, “Sweetheart have you ever heard of tit for tat. Well, this is exactly what you get after embarrassing me”!

I was about to say something in return when I felt a presence behind me. “I’m sorry for acting like that Jeanette. I-”, turning around I faced Michael whose face was contorted in pain and guilt.

“It’s fine Michael. It’s not your fault, its mine. So you don’t have to apologise. I shall get going now, I’m actually getting late for college. Bye”, not giving him a chance to speak further, I rushed to my car and got inside.

I knew I couldn’t attend the first class and so I ringed Amelia and informed her about it. I felt sorry for lying to her but I couldn’t let her know the exact reason for which I was late. No one knows exactly who I’m and even about my double life.

Now you must be wondering why I still go to college and then again I’m the CEO of a well-reputed company, if not a business mogul structure. Well you see, I have my own reasons, reasons that are better kept locked away.

My name is Jeanette Ivy Aldaine, a normal college student in the day and the sharp and ruthless businesswoman in the night.

There is more to my life than I let on. In a way, I’m the beacon of secrets and lies but one truth that I can never deny is that I am a lost person with nothing left to lose!

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