Rogue Rage

Chapter 19

I stepped out of the office and found Maddock waiting a few feet away, as if he had been standing there the entire time and pretending he had not. He straightened when he saw me, his expression so serious it made my stomach tighten. For a moment, he looked past me toward the closed door, and I wondered how much he had wanted to hear.

“You okay?” he asked. “Leon didn’t make you uncomfortable, did he?”

The concern in his voice should have annoyed me. Instead, it made Leon’s warning echo louder. I studied Maddock’s face, the careful way he held himself back, and decided I would rather walk straight into the fire than keep circling it. “Are you attracted to me?”

Maddock glared at the office door over my shoulder. “Is that what you talked about?”

“No. I started thinking about how you keep appearing wherever I am, how you keep trying to help, and how different you are from the man I met limping out of the Med Center with girls hanging off both arms.”

Maddock looked at me as if deciding whether honesty would make this better or worse. “Yeah,” he said after a beat. “More than I meant to be.”

“Why?” I asked before I could stop myself.

He blinked. “That’s not usually the follow-up.”

“Then you’ve been talking to easier women.”

“Apparently.”

“There are plenty of them. Women who would actually enjoy this.”

“Maybe that’s the problem.”

There was almost disappointment in his eyes, and somehow that made me feel defensive. I looked away and noticed how many people were watching us from the edge of the gathering area. My instincts told me to move back into the shadows, but it was too late for that. Keith was either giving Damian every reason to kill me or already dead for trying not to. Either way, pretending I could still be invisible felt ridiculous.

“Maybe it’s nothing,” he said, quieter now. “Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and stop looking for you in every crowd.”

I bit the corner of my lip, then smirked because it was easier than letting him see the way that landed. “Good. I’d hate to be memorable.” I turned before he could answer. I did not know why it stung, but it did. I was attracted to him, but my attraction had to pass through suspicion and self-preservation before it could become anything soft. Maddock seemed able to feel things openly, all at once, without measuring how they might be used against him. I envied him for that more than I wanted to admit.

I made it only a few paces before his hand closed gently around my arm.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Maddock asked. I looked toward the gathering area. The tables were starting to clear, which meant fewer eyes, fewer questions, and maybe my best chance to get food before the day got worse.

“No, I’m…not hungry.” I tried to continue walking but his grip was still firm.

“You don’t have to sit with me,” he said, releasing my arm when I made a face. “But you look like you haven’t eaten since yesterday, and I’d rather not pretend I didn’t notice.”

Well, what did I have to lose? I nodded and let him lead me to a table.

“I’ll be right back,” he said once I sat. He gave me a look that said he expected me to bolt the second his back turned.

“Okay, I’ll be here.”

He was not gone long, but without him there, I felt every stare. Maybe I was a jackrabbit. Fleeing was exactly what I wanted to do. I kept my eyes on the tabletop, trying to ignore the open space around me, until a faint blue glow caught at the edge of my vision.

I looked toward the watchtower that Maddock and I were standing under a few nights ago. The beautiful being from last night stood there. Her eyes were on me. I stood and a single pale finger went to her lips.

“Here.” Maddock placed a plate of food in front of me and obstructed my view of the woman. I tried peeking over his shoulder, but she was already gone. Disappeared just like last night. “Are you okay?”

Maddock pulled my attention back to him. “Uh, yeah. So, what did you want to talk about?”

He looked at a loss for words. “You wanted to know what attracted me to you.”

I looked down at the plate of eggs. “And you came up with an answer while you were getting food?”

He smirked, the way he did when I first met him. “No. Actually, I can’t give you an answer that makes sense right now. But I want to get to know you, so I can add to my answer.”

I grabbed the fork and began poking at the eggs. “Wow, you really are a charmer when you want to be.”

“I’m not—” He stopped and looked away, frustrated. “I’m not trying to charm you. At least not in the way you think. Do I want you to think I’m charming? Sure. Do I want you to think I’m trying to charm you? No, not really.”

The honesty disarmed me more than charm would have. I poked at the eggs instead of looking at him. “There’s not much to know about me.”

“Then let’s start with something simple. What was your pack like?”

Simple, huh? At first, I thought of telling him it was boring and nothing special. But for some reason, I wanted to be the girl who came from somewhere good, at least in his eyes. Leon’s warning rang through my mind. So I would not lie. I would tell him the truth, just angled enough to survive.

“We had our own cooking areas. I learned to cook when I was little.” He smiled as if he could picture it, and against my better judgment, I smiled back. “Families were close-knit where I grew up.”

“What about yours?”

“Well, my mom passed away giving birth to me.”

“I’m sorry.” He reached for my hand. His hand was so big and warm. It surprised me that I didn’t pull away. “What about your dad?”

“My dad was a great warrior. One of the Alpha’s most utilized warriors.”

Maddock squeezed my hand. “Was?”

“He died when I was thirteen.” I slid my hand out of his. “After that, I was raised pretty much by our Alpha.”

“Well, he must have done a good job. You help when you can. You chase after rogues even when you’re injured. You even infiltrated a rogue camp without any training.” I couldn’t meet his eyes. “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met.” That was probably a good thing. “Before all of that, I liked talking to you.” I looked up at him briefly. His smile was quieter this time, less practiced. “Then I realized I kept looking forward to whatever you’d say next.”

“You should seek professional help.”

He laughed, “See? You’re always saying or doing something unexpected.”

“Maddock! Good morning!” A girl squealed while taking a seat next to him. When she wrapped her arms around one of his, I recognized her as one of the girls that was helping him walk when we first met.

Maddock pulled his arm out of her grasp and looked at her. “Hey, Addison.”

She laughed wildly loud. “Oh, come on. You always call me Addy.”

I took a forkful of egg and shoveled it into my mouth.

“I didn’t see you earlier, I wanted to sit and eat with you.”

“Addison, I know you see me talking to someone.” Maddock’s voice stayed low, careful enough not to turn the rejection into a spectacle. “You didn’t even acknowledge her when you sat down. I don’t mean to be rude, but I want to finish my conversation with her alone.”

Addison looked at me, and I saw the exact path her thoughts were about to take. I had watched plenty of girls like her get rejected from the shadows. They always made the same mistake—turn hurt into humiliation and aim it at the easiest target.

“I wouldn’t worry,” I said before she could make either of us regret this. “I’m sure he’ll come to his senses eventually.”

Instead, she nodded once, stood, and walked away. Maddock smiled at me.

“What?”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I don’t think you’re a passing whim. You’ll have to put up with me following you around.”

“Like a stalker?”

He laughed wholeheartedly. “Like a man making a fool of himself over a woman.”

I shook my head at him, “You’re crazy.”

Maddock smirked. “Eat with me tomorrow.”

The fork fell from my hand. “That sounded suspiciously like an order.”

“It was an invitation.”

“You should work on those. And to be honest, I don’t like being under a microscope.”

“Because of me?” he asked.

“Just you speaking to me had dozens of eyes on us. Even now, people are lingering around to see which way the conversation will go. It’s uncomfortable. So no, thank you.”

Maddock looked around at the members who were clearly done eating but still watching us. “Then we won’t eat here.”

It was my turn to look surprised. “Is that even allowed?”

“What do you mean?”

“As far as I know, members here don’t do that. Isn’t there some rule about everyone eating together?”

“I won’t tell if you don’t. Besides, the Alpha isn’t here right now. Neither are the Luna or the young Beta. So it looks like we don’t always eat together.” I shook my head and looked away. “I’ll grab our plates, and we can meet where I wouldn’t share my wine.”

I shouldn’t have agreed. Every instinct I owned told me to keep my distance, keep my head down, keep walking until Maddock was just another dangerous thing behind me. But I wanted to. Goddess help me, I wanted to sit somewhere quiet with him and pretend, for one meal, that I was only a girl being asked to breakfast by a man who looked at her like she mattered. What did it change now if I stole one small piece of life before the rest of it came due? “Fine,” I said, before courage could desert me. “For the record, we’d be terrible together.”

Maddock’s smile turned slow. “We'll see.”