Always

Changes

Changes

Rowan

Cora stops in front of her black SUV and pauses. “It’s okay. You don’t have to babysit me. I’m not going to fall apart. I have R squared to think about.” Her eyes are hardened and there’s no warmth in her voice. She’s like a robot.

Alarmed, I glance at Danny.

He gives a slight shake of his head.

“Honey, you’re not okay,” I run my hand down her arm.

“No, but I will be. I need to be alone right now, Ro. Please, I can’t.” She grips the door handle tight, like it’s the only thing keeping her on her feet. “I refuse to go back to the woman I once was. While you were gone, I learned to swim in the big waves alone. I can’t lose that skill when I know I’m going to need it. ” Her eyes widen and her voice shakes. “You understand?”

“Cora, we’re your family,” I say feeling wounded by the wall I’m watching her place up—brick by brick.

“Yes, you are, nothing will change that.” She swallows and exhales slowly. “A lot has happened and priorities are shifting. You guys have to turn your attention to other things and that’s how it should be.”

Her words feel like a rip in the seams of our relationship. For so long, it’s been the four of us, and now we’re down to three with her back peddling so fast, I can only describe it as running.

Cora reaches out and takes my hand. Her eyes soften. “Right now, we all need to play our parts. Wesson comes first. It’s the man priority. I can manage. Besides, Danny needs you now more than he ever has.”

“I’m fine,” Danny says immediately.

I look into his dilated eyes and know she’s right. Damn you, Dallas. I want to strangle him, but I know deep down, he too is a victim of circumstance. You can only expect a man to shoulder so much weight.

Cora smiles sadly. “No, you’re not. None of us are and we won’t be for a while, Samson.”

The use of his road name makes Danny stand a little straighter.

“We know you never wanted this. Life has a funny way of forcing us into s**t we want to avoid most.” She snorts. “Trust me on this. Thing is, you’ve always been good at fixing things.”

She shoots me a knowing look. It’s like that with us. No words need to be spoken aloud. Danny’s holding on by a fragile string. I’m his lifeline. The very future of the club depends on it, so I suck it up, like we’ve all done time and time again. I wonder once more, what happened while we were away at college. Its clear, Cora has taken to keeping secrets and I want to know why. How could so much change in a year?

I watch helplessly as she climbs into the car, starts it and pulls out of the parking lot.

“Meeting.” Reaper’s rusty voice cuts through the noisy crowd like a hot knife through butter.

“I gotta do this Ro.” Danny bends down and kisses my head. He hasn’t said a word, but his eyes are wild.

“I’ll be waiting at the bar when you’re done, Samson,” I say placing my palm flat on his chest. His heart is beating mile a minute and I know Cora is right. This is where I need to be even though I want to go back to before we unraveled.

He wraps an arm around my waist and we walk back into the club. I never knew I’d miss that two bedroom apartment and the small town where we attended so much. For the first time in our lives, we were allowed to put ourselves first. While we go inside, he heads to church and I head to the bar. I feel a divide the size of the Gulf of Mexico stretch out between us. The club has swallowed us whole again and this time, I wasn’t sure we would come out on top. I sink down at the bar and time rewinds. Are we paying for the happiness we found away from the club? I don’t have the answers, but I cling to the memory of those happy days, because right now, it’s all I have to keep me from bawling my eyes out at this bar like a little b***h.

Past

A few months into the first semester things are great. The freedom took some getting used to. There were no phone calls at all hours, no rides, minimum danger and silence. I never realized how quiet things could be when there were just two people in an apartment. Without the constant traffic from the club along with baby R, Cora and Dallas, a strange calm fell. We had a sanctuary. I filled my cup to the brim with black coffee and wander out onto the patio to greet the day.

Danny’s already in class, early bird that he is.

I hate to rise before eight or nine, if I can help it. Unless it involves the little man. When baby R came it brought us joy, partially wiping away all the sorrow that came after the hit on Wesson.

Things had been quiet as they recouped, bulked up and did recon. New prospects were brought in the club reinforced, security tightened while they watch everything like hawks.

The Rolling Bones went ghost, anxiously awaiting the payback they knew must be coming. The boys were out for blood, but Rule put his foot down. He wanted everyone to get their heads on straight, protect the families better and plan things. They hadn’t said so officially, but I got the feeling the payback was coming sooner rather than later. The relief in Dad’s eyes when I left convinced me of that. 

A buzz drew my attention to my black phone resting on the kitchen table and I hurried inside. I picked it up off the table and smiled at the text.

You awake yet, sleeping beauty?

I rolled my eyes. Yes, not everyone can be early risers, Samson.

Want to make a lunch date, Irish?

I rolled my eyes and laughed. I could hear his baritone in my head and picture his coy smile. He has no clue how adorable he could be. Not that I’d ever say that out loud. The man has a rep to maintain after all.

Name the time and the place.

Danny texts me the address of a brunch place we’d been eyeing, and we agree to meet in thirty minutes. God, it feels good to just be a normal couple. I lock the door to the patio and pad through the house to the bathroom. The warm water feels amazing on my tense muscles. School is going well, but being on a constant schedule and having responsibilities felt new, therefore draining. Never realized how good I have it. I thought of the pile of dishes in the sink, missing the ability to pick up the phone and call a prospect to help out. Jesus, you know it’s bad when you miss prospects. Laughing to myself, I finish up. I dry off, throw my shoulder length red hair into a high ponytail, then put on a pair of worn jeans and a Wesson t-shirt. The first few weeks of school, our affiliation caused a stir, but now no one gave it a second glance. The perks of going to school in a small town.

I walk in the restaurant and immediately see Danny. One of the best things about having a giant for an old man, he’s easy to spot in a crowd.

He catches my gaze across the room and nods.

He looks different in this setting, relaxed and happy in a way I hadn’t seen in years. While the MC was a huge part of his life, he didn’t live and die for it like Dallas. I could easily see us out of the life, living a civilian life, completely content if it’d been an option. With Cora and R still in—it wasn’t. Dallas would be fine. Like a cat, he always manages to land on his feet, no matter what distance he fell from. Some people might think it’s stupid, but for MC family it’s ride or die. You grow up with only one another for company and the s**t you see is f****d up. It bonds you closer than most people will ever experience in their entire lifetime.

“Hey babe, how was your first class?” I ask, sitting down.

“Mathy.”

“Smart ass,” I mumble, grinning. The man could get away with murder with me after all this time.

“I’d hope so, since we’re in college and everything.”

“You’re really asking for it this morning,” I warn.

“Oh, I would’ve if I hadn’t needed to be up before the f*****g sun.”

I laugh. “You’re the one who opted to take the classes from six to nine. I think you’re insane.”

“I just wanted to get as much as I can out of the way, so we can get back home in two years, less if we power through summer courses online. It’s nice to be away now, but I have no illusions that the newness will ware off.” He leans over the table. “This isn’t our world, and I don’t want either of us to f**k ourselves by forgetting that and having to go back.”

“You’re worried about that, aren’t you?”

“Yes. Things are uncomplicated here. It’s easy. A cakewalk compared to what we’re used to dealing with. We both know you if get slow in our business, lose your edge…all your caution and you’re going to start f*****g up.”

I narrow my eyes at him. It wasn’t normal to see him so frantic. “What’s going on?”

“We’re getting older. They’re going to start expecting more of us. People will start stepping down and training. The way we’ve lived before is over. Hell, Cora’s already got one kid. And if Dall has anything to say about it…I’m sure two will be coming soon. It’s a lot to wrap your head around. And to top it all off, war is coming. I don’t think for one minute, they sent us here in a nice ass apartment, just so we can…” Danny shook his head. “…No. they’re planning ahead. They way they always do, wily f***s. If s**t gets bad, Cora and R are coming up here with us.”

“Did someone say something to you?” I ask, suddenly suspicious. It sounds like something my father would do. Give Danny just enough information to let him figure out on his own what might be coming down the pipeline and he’ll prepare.

“They didn’t have to. I can see the signs. Dad’s gotten gruff and quiet. Church is being held more and more, while the council has been cooped out in their room at least once a week. They’re going to f**k those Skull wearing bastards to hell and bac, and they’ll deserve every minute of it.” His eyes darken with anger.

For a moment, I got a glimpse of the biker he hid so well most of the time. We all have blood lust in our DNA, but some wore it like a badge. Danny and I tempered it to be manageable while straddling that line between civilian and club member for all it was worth. “We’ll be fine. Aren’t we always?” I say, searching his face for a sign he believes me.

“Yeah, but this…I just have a bad feeling about it.”

“Don’t do that,” I whisper.

“Don’t do what, be honest?”

“Don’t do that prediction s**t. Leave that to Prophet.” I shudder, thinking of the wiry man with gray threaded into his chocolate brown beard and hair.

“Writing on the wall, Irish.”

“Yeah, well, f**k the wall and the people writing on it,” I sneer. We’d been through enough.

“You know I’m not telling you this to piss you off, right? I just want you to think on it, store in the back of that big brain and be ready.”

“Yeah, I know.” We have an agreement. No lies. If we couldn’t tell one another something we’d keep it to ourselves, but not outright lie. My mind shifts to Cora and Dallas.

A blonde waitress with wicked yellow-green eyes and a bright smile approaches the table. “Good Morning, my name is Pam, and I’ll be your server today. Can I get you started off with something to drink today?”

“Yes, I’ll have a water and coffee,” I reply, glancing at Danny.

“Same for me.”

“Excellent, I’ll be right back with those for you.” Pam spun on her heel and strode off.

“We should figure out what we want before she gets back. The place is starting to fill up and I don’t want to be behind the rush.”

“Truth.” We pick up our menus and when, Pam, the waitress returns, we were ready to order. The thought of the strawberry and bacon waffles has my mouth watering. They literally made the bacon inside the waffle. Could you get better than that? My mind drifted to those still at home, as we wait for our food. “You think they’re okay?”

“Dallas and Cora?”

“Yes. They were on shaky ground.”

Danny sighed. “I know. I want to tell you yes, but Dall has this uncanny ability to stick his foot in his mouth every other day. I do know us being there was preventing them from dealing with their s**t as a couple. It’s long overdue.”

“You’re right. I just can’t help but be concerned.”

“He needs to get his head out of his ass and work on making things right with her, instead of following my father around like a lost puppy.”

I cringe. It’s no secret they were grooming Dallas to take over for Rule one day, which Danny didn’t have a problem with. What he hates is the way Dallas allows it to consume him, until it’s all he is inside. A Pres in training, waiting to take over the MC, Dallas leaves a lot of people neglected in the wake of the way he lives.

“I hope this is his wake-up call, or he’s going to lose the best thing that ever happened to him.” Danny’s face twists in disgust.

“You think she’d leave him?” I whisper.

“She hasn’t been fully present for a long time.” He swirls the coffee around in his mug.

I watch him and once again, admire his large hands. I love a strong, well built man. Those hands brought me to the heights of pleasure, but they also made me feel cherished and loved.

“Come on, we’re here and nothing’s certain. Let’s let the what if’s go and enjoy our morning,” Danny says, reaching across the table to grasp my hand.

The action draws my attention to the circle of my name around his wrist. When a biker stakes his claim, you become the most important thing to him, next to the club. I press my skin to his, allowing our names to rest against one another. Getting a matching tattoo is really the only way a woman can reciprocate to a man who marks his skin with her name. 

Present

“You okay?”

Brain’s soft voice brings me back to reality. I look up at the gentle eyes of my father and shake my head. “Not really, church over already?”

“Officially. I wanted to take a minute to check on you. It’s a lot to take in at once.”

“Naw.” I shake my head. “I’m not the one going through the big changes. I’m just stuck in limbo, waiting to see what the blowback is going to mean for me.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. You have a big role to play. Being the P’s old lady is nothing to take lightly.”

“I know, but it’s not like it is for Danny or Cora.” The thought of my best friend makes me wince.

“Maybe so, but it doesn’t mean you don’t matter. And I know you love Cora, but the girls had a rough couple of years, don’t take things too personally. They were almost back on track from the Reaper debacle when s**t went off the rails again.”

“Dad what the hell has been going on around here lately? How did we end up here?”

Dad laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “I’ve asked myself that same question many a time. It’s the nature of the beast. This life chews us all up and spits us out. But you were built Wesson strong, you can take it.”

“You sure about that, Daddy? ‘Cause I have to be honest and tell you right now, I don’t know which way is up and I’m worried about Danny. He never wanted it.”

“No, but he’s Rule’s son and he’ll rise to the occasion until his brother gets his s**t together. P always put too much pressure on that boy. Made him jump through hoops to get a meager amount of acceptance.” Dad sighs. “I’m not surprised he lost it. It’s good to get some clarity at times like this.”

“How can you say that after what he just did?” My face grows hot. Is the Wesson comes first code so engrained, he can’t see a d**k move for what it is?

“When you’re that broken and you don’t get your head right, you’ll ruin a lot more. This hurts, but nothing is so broken it can’t be fixed. You understand what I’m saying?” He arches a salt and pepper eyebrow.

“No, I don’t.”

He sighs. “You think Cora is bad now. What do you think would happen if he took all his s**t out on her or R?  You think she’d be more willing to forgive that or his disappearing act? Those two always come back together like f*****g magnets.” He shakes his head. “Right now, my concern is you and Danny. He starts to crack…you let me know, so I can get him on track. Wesson can’t afford any more hits. You’ve always been the glue for him. I need you to stay strong right now.” 

“Dad.” I run my hands through my hair and close my eyes. There’s no choice. Danny and I are in this forever. “I hear you, Daddy.”

“Good, ‘cause I’m not the only one watching him right now and there’s others here who’d love to be wearing the P patch. People who would blur the lines of what Wesson is about…I’m not going to sit back and watch that happen.”

My mind flashes to Scar. A nasty piece of work who I know is kept around to do the heavy lifting. His edge is a great to have in a Sergeant in Arms. But disastrous as the P. We’d never have peace. I glance at my father and nod. I understand.

“Good girl.” He pats my back. “Now, how about you let your old man get you a drink? You look like you need one, darling.”

“Is that a nice way of saying I look like s**t?” I deadpan.

He snickers but doesn’t answer.

Always knew my daddy was a smart man.  

He calls over the latest biker bunny, Candy and orders two Scotches’…dry. 

I’m sipping on mine when Danny reappears. He has his game face on now. His jaw is tensed and he stands his full six feet four inches. This is a man ready to run Wesson.

I toss back the rest of the scotch, slam the glass on the worn wooden counter and stand up.

“Brain,” Danny greets my Dad.

“Samson.”

“You done here, Ro?” Danny asks.

I am now. I recognize the hunger in his eyes. He needs to burn off some of the energy coursing through his veins and I know just the way to do it.

His muscles flex and relax. The veins in his throat stand out and his jaw turns to granite.

“Yes.” I glance at Brain. “See you later, Daddy.”

Danny wraps his arms around me and places a possessive hand on my hip.

His body heats burns through my t-shirt. My n*****s pucker, my breasts go heavy and my p***y grows wet. I need this. I want to get lost in him, this man who owns me heart and soul. The room around us blurs as we walk across the room and down the hallway to his room. The blood rushes in my ears and butterflies flap their wings rapidly in my belly.

We reach the room and he lifts me, slamming my back against the door once its shut.

Our mouths connect and I moan. He eats at my mouth, nipping and sucking. His hands squeeze my ass hard and I rub my center against the burgeoning swell in his pants.

He groans and I take advantage of the opening, thrusting my tongue into his mouth. I leave no part of him unexplored as I re-anchor him to me. I won’t let these changes steal him from me. We’ve fought too damn hard to get where we are now.

He pulls away and yanks my top up. “Your breasts are so f*****g perfect.”

His hot breath on my cleavage makes me whimper. He bends and sucks one into his mouth, angling me against the door as he fumbles with the top button of my shorts. There are many bonuses to having a massive Adonis for my man. I wiggle my hips and together, we ease the material down my legs. It pools at my ankles. He rips away my silk underwear and I gasp at his roughness, along with the cool air hitting my exposed flesh.

He reaches between us and trails a finger down my slit. “Oh yeah, you’re wet for me, aren’t you?” He rubs the moisture over my swollen c**t.

I cry out while bucking my hips.

“Don’t you worry. I’m going to give it to you.” He opens his jeans.

Whimpering, I lick my lips when his ten-inch c**k springs forward. I want to take him in hand, but I can tell right now…he needs to be in control.

He grips his base and rubs his d**k between my nether lips, bumping my c**t every time. I sink my nails into his shoulders and he growls. “That’s right, mark me Irish.”

“Stop teasing.” I growl.

He smirks. “You want it baby? Tell me.”

“I want you to f**k me, Samson,” I roll the road name out over my tongue.

His eyes darken and he pushes inside me in one thrust. 

“Oh, God.” I grip his shoulders hard.

“Samson, eh? I’ll show you just how strong I can be.” He pounds into my p***y hard.

I wrap my legs around his waist hooking my ankles, wanting him deeper. The head of him is brushing the bundle of nerves that have me climbing higher and higher. My thighs shake and my walls contract.

“Not yet, baby, wait for me. You wait for me,” he growls. “Give me those blue eyes.”

I struggle against the wave of pleasure threatening to crash down and pry open my eyes. He captivates me. Like a woman under the spell of a hypnotist I can do nothing but obey.

“So pretty when you’re about to come on my d**k, Ro.”

I take a shaky breath and flex my muscles, holding back the orgasm waiting to break.

“Such a good girl, waiting for me.” His voice is husky.

I know he’s close.

He pumps faster as beads of sweat roll down my face. “You ready baby, come with me,” he orders.

I let go, squeezing his d**k for all I’m worth.

He slams home one last time and pins me against the door. His heated liquid fills me and he buries his face against my neck. “f*****g forever, Ro.” 

The familiar mantra makes me smile. “Forever, baby.” My lungs are burning, my p***y is aching and my mind is empty of everything except my love for this man.

He peels his body from mine and captures my mouth. The urgency is gone, burned off by the wild f**k, but the intensity remains.

I melt all over again. My toes curl in my low boots. My heart is racing, my head is spinning and the man I love is deep inside me. It’s not everything I want, but it’s enough. I hold onto the moment, mourning him as he slips out.

“I don’t think anything makes me happier than knowing I’m still lingering inside you.”

“Such a naughty man,” I tease.

“And you f*****g love it,” he growls, kissing me hard.

“Mmm-hmm,” I agree lazily.

“Come on. Let’s clean up, so I can get you dirty again. I hope you didn’t plan on getting any sleep tonight.” His voice is a low rumble.

I’m already wet again.

“You got that look in your eyes that tells me you want it hard and rough. Are you ready for to be f****d all night long?” Danny asks.

“I don’t know.” I glance at him coyly. “This first time was so tame.”

His eyes widen. He throws back his head and laughs. “I guess I’ll have to do better then.” He takes my lips and slips two fingers inside me, swirling our combined juices. His hands are large and his fingers are thick and long. He crooks them, hitting my g-spot instantly.

I’m rocking my hips and reaching for the sky. He adjusts his angles and I’m gone. I fly over the edge while screaming his name and I know neither of us will be sleeping tonight.

Danny

I should be sleep, but not even a night of pounding my old lady’s p***y can quiet my brain. I open my eyes and look at the clock. It’s barley seven in the morning. I glance over at Rowan and smile. She’s breathing deeply and utterly relaxed. At least one of us has found peace. I can’t see my cut, but I know it’s in the corner draped over a chair. The newly sewn President patch mocks me in the darkness. It’s a cruel twist of fate that my father’s heir apparent has gone Nomad after Dad’s death and I’m left wearing the crown I never wanted in the first place. Rule…Dad. The realization that I’ll never see the man who’s always been larger than life slams into my chest and I’m drowning in the memory I want to forget most, the day he died—but know I’ll never be able to.

Past

After all this time, we were finally going to get revenge on Rolling Bones for what they’ve done to our family. I’m amped, flying high like an addict who just took a hit of the purest cocaine. It’s been eating all of us alive waiting for the P to give his consent to payback. We put too many of our brothers in the ground and now we watch Rufus wither away in the hospital in a coma. He’d come to recently, but he has a long way to go until he’s one hundred percent. I push the thoughts away and focus on my father who’s standing in the front of room for church.

“This has been a long time coming brothers. Today, we avenge brothers who’ve taken that last ride at the hand of the Rolling Bones. They thought they could come in here, disrespect us and take our s**t. I know you wanted to go at them with all guns blazing. But we weren’t ready yet. And I wanted to let those fuckers sweat it out. They’ve been watching their backs, growing paranoid and on edge, waiting for the blowback. Now, they’re tired and sloppy and we’re going to slaughter them.”

“Pres!” I join the bloodthirsty cries. We deal with things differently in my world. The phrase an eye for an eye is literal. They took down our Vice President and three of our prospects. It’s only right, we return the favor. I glance over at Prophet who got patched in during his stay in the ICU with Rufus. He has a wicked scar underneath his shaggy hair where the bullet grazed him. But what marks him even more is the crazy in his eyes. He’s grown hard over the past few months, physically and mentally. His once gangly frame has been bulked with fifteen pounds at least, and I know he’s going to be on the front lines tonight.

Dallas is standing beside my father, looking as if he always belonged. His green eyes are bright with excitement and I can barely remember a time when he wasn’t operating as Vice President. When Rufus went down, he was the obvious fill in. The title looks good on him, lessening the friction existing between him and my Dad. On equal footing, the talking down has all but ended, or maybe it was more that Dallas stopped caring. Once Cora came up pregnant, he changed. The fight for father’s attention and approval shifted. He lived and breathed for Cora and R. It’s a beautiful thing to see, not that I’d say that s**t out loud. It gave me hope for me and Irish. We’ve gone back and forth about having a kid and raising him in this life, unsure if it’d be fair to place so much on their shoulders.

“Don your masks. And line up outside.”

We all pull up our skull handkerchiefs, tying them tight. We are the walking dead tonight, doing what our fallen brothers cannot. A heavy silence falls as we leave the clubhouse and mount our bikes. Dad reeves his engine in memory and we all do the same. He pulls off and we fall into line behind him.

A weighty emotion hangs in the air that I can’t put my fingers on. There’s nothing pretty about what’s going to happen, but it is necessary. We ride out of the city, to a warehouse we own, load up into the black vans with tinted windows and false plates, then ride toward the Rolling Bones territory. Our people have been out tonight and we know the Bones are partying at the clubhouse. By now, they’re probably good and wasted.

I feel a pang of guilt for the innocent bitches who’re about to get caught in the crossfire, and then I think about Cora. They were out to kill Baby Girl. My anger surges and I crouch down by the window, gripping the shotgun tight. Handguns are more practical, but the point of this run is to do damage. We park a few minutes away and I know they’re sending out the text to our bait b***h. Her job is to lead him outside and hightail it before the s**t goes down. It’s a dangerous job, but a club w***e will do anything to gain clout.

The van pulls away from the curb and I peer out the window, ready to go. Its midnight on a Wednesday and the roads are bare. We round the corner and the Rolling Bones club comes into view. Blood rushes in my ears. I slide open the window and stick the barrel out.

They made the mistake of thinking they’re untouchable. It’s an assumption they’ll pay for in blood. I can see one of the bait bitches at the gate, distracting the guard. A loud crack sounds and he falls. Must’ve been Sniper.

She totters to the gate on tall ass heels and pulls it open.

The rest passes in a blur as we unload on the group standing outside. The smell of gunpowder singes my nose, while sweat runs down my forehead and back. The heat in the small space is stifling. Metal pings as they return fire. Our tires spin on the pavement as we do donut and ride for the gate. A bullet shatters the window above my head, raining down glass and I hit the floor. My shoulder slams up against the side of the van. I grunt as the ass end of the vans sways.

My phone starts to buzz in my pocket and I dig it out. “Yeah?”

“f**k, Danny s**t is bad. There’s blood all over and I can’t get him to stop bleeding.” My brother’s panicked voice hits me like an Antarctic blast. Dallas is never scared.

“Who?” I ask.

“Dad. They hit him in the stomach. Jesus s**t. We need a hospital now.”

I sit up, terrified. My father is larger than life. He can’t be taken down like this. “Who’s driving?” I ask, suddenly all business.

“Wizard, I asked him to pull over and administer, but he said we didn’t have the time. I’m applying pressure, but there’s blood everywhere.” His voice shakes.

I close my eyes. Wizard used to be a medic in the Army, so he knows his s**t—this sounds bad.

I hear the coughing wheezing and my stomach plummets.

“Dad, no you can’t leave. Hang in there.” Dallas sounds desperate and my father sounds like he’s on death’s door.

I hear him cough and the death rattle begins to play. I’m going to listen to my father die as my brother comes unhinged. All the things left unsaid between us, plays in my head like a film. Guilt sits on my chest like a boulder. There’s nothing I can do. No words of comfort I can offer when my soul is being ripped in two. An unnatural quiet falls and I hear Dallas release a broken sob. I clutch the phone like a lifeline. “Is he?” I whisper.

“Dad’s gone, he’s just f*****g gone.”

An anguished wail from my brother echoes in my ear. What would happen to my family now?”

The answer is something I never would’ve imagined. Dallas shuts down. The light went out behind his eyes and he retreated inside himself.  If you weren’t Cora or R, he didn’t want to see you, and he refused to talk about planning revenge or accepting the role of President. Everyone assumed he just needed time, so we gave him space.

We hold my father’s funeral a week later, dress him in his cut and give him a spot in the Wesson plot.

Standing beside Rowan, I’m numb. There’s a church meeting afterward, but all I can focus on is the mahogany box that holds the shell of my father. I know he’s not really in there, but it guts me to see him lowered six feet deep. Rowan squeezes my hand and I cling to her. Right now, she’s my anchor, keeping me from drifting away in the vicious storm that has descended and will forever change the face of Wesson. 

Dallas steps forward with his arm around Cora and tosses in the first hand full of dirt.

The thud on the coffin makes me flinch. I’m not ready to say goodbye. Despite the tiny child throwing a tantrum inside, I step forward and play my part. Because in this life, that’s what you do. Place one foot in front of the other, moving forever forward no matter what’s thrown in your way. I step back and the roar of engines revving fill my ears. So many people have shown up. Bikes line the lanes all the way to the entrance of the cemetery. Dad was a harsh asshole, but always fair and loyal. It’s a combination people don’t forget.

The crowd drifts away, leaving the four of us to say our final goodbyes. How do you do that? Walk away from the only parent you’ve ever known? I feel like my chest has been cracked open and my hearts pummeled. I want to linger, but I know we have to make one last ride and nothing I do will bring him back. I take a shaky breath and prepare myself to branch out, to walk away with dignity and pride.

Wesson strong. I hear my father’s voice in my head and it almost makes me smile. There’s a little bit of him in Dallas and I, so maybe he won’t ever be totally gone. I glance over at Dallas and my jaw drops. His face is pale and his entire body is shaking. Cora’s holding him around the waist like she thinks he’ll fall apart. Maybe he will. I’ve never seen him so out of it. I meet Rowan’s concerned gaze, unsure how to proceed. Dallas isn’t the type to like a lot of fuss and I don’t want to put him on blast.

“Can you guys give us a few minutes?” Cora whispers.

“Sure, Baby Girl. Take all the time you need,” Ro answers, tugging at my hand. She leads me away from the grave and I hear a choked noise escape from my brother’s throat. Unable to watch him break, I turn my head away and join the group of bikers lined up for one last ride.

Present

Something simply fractured inside him that day and it never mended. Dad’s death remained an oozing wound that no one could get to start healing. He’d unloaded on Cora in front of everyone two days ago. There was a time it would’ve reduced her to tears, but not now. They’d gone at it in an ugly display that’d been broken up by Reaper and Brain. This morning he’d walked in, relinquished his title and went nomad.

I witnessed it with my own eyes and I still can’t help but think, I’m going to wake up from this nightmare any minute. He’d done many stupid things in his life, but leaving Cora like this with Houdini sniffing around her? I want to find out what the story is. Another thing to add to my list of s**t to take care of. I close my eyes and place my arm over my face, wishing for sleep.