Beatitudes

Another dream.

Have you ever had a kind of feeling… a nagging feeling that makes you feel like you’ve forgotten something very important, you feel like you’ve forgotten but when you then try to remember as hard as you can, all you end up with is a blank memory at worst and a blur of pictures at best. And then when you assume it’s just a false alarm, the whole thing grows on you and haunts your every thought, messes with your mind so deeply your head becomes a mess of its own till you give in and try as hard as possible to remember and remember and yet every single time still ends with not a single piece of recollection, at this point they’ll probably tell you to calm down and calm your mind by removing all stray thoughts from your consciousness so you can think better…

Honestly its happened to me and no amount of thought clearing has ever been able to help out with it. The frustrating reason I brought this question up is because I have that same feeling right now, it’s already grown on me and haunts my thoughts but I can’t just remember a single damn thing!

I opened my eyes to realize that I was in a forest, I stumbled around with surprise as I looked all around me, till a feeling of familiarity bubbled up within me, the whole place seemed somewhat like a second home I once had. It was a beautiful sight though, the forest as a whole, it looked just like an immortal’s back garden as gentle sunlight illuminated the whole place, fruits and flora adorning every tree in sight, trees which although were somewhat sparse in number looked to have been meticulously planted in a specific space order to bring out the tranquil zen energy in life and nature. Yes, it was definitely a place I knew… I was getting drunk on the warmth and beauty when I felt a presence behind me.

Hastily turning back to see what creeped up behind me, I felt surprise as a realized it was a human or at least a projection of a human or something when I noticed it’s transparency.

To confirm my thoughts I raised my head to take a good look at the person’s face when all I saw was just… blurred.

No matter which angle I looked from, I was never able to see the person’s face, I noticed three other figures as well who were just like the one in front of me, I couldn’t see their faces nor could I hear a single sound even though it was obvious that the person was saying something to me.

I was once again gripped with confusion as I stared and tried to peer through the fog covering the faces, I got nothing for my efforts though.

Very soon when I was about to speak and ask a question, the world around me tore and twisted into a maelstrom of colors, leaving me speechless for a while till when it all finally stopped spinning and pieced itself back into order.

This time though I saw a different thing, it was the scene of a group of people gathered together in a circle, this time around I could see their backs and instinctively knew that it was a group of boys. They seemed to be engrossed with something as their bodies shook with all their strength, their legs especially kept lashing back and forth in the air. Wondering what they were up to I looked closer at the gap between their legs. From there I actually noticed that the object of their attention was another boy, they were actually beating the guy up and very fiercely too.

Astounded I paused as I stared at them, it was at this point that they suddenly stopped kicking the boy in the middle, one of them looked at another and the other looked at another person as the seemed to be conversing with each other, I noticed that a few of them began to tremble faintly as their conversation grew erratic, a step was taken back from the circle by one of them and the rest seemed to follow as they all retreated from the circle they made, then after a few steps back they all suddenly turned away from the boy in the middle as they all took off in a certain direction, they were… running away?

I made to follow them but then noticed the boy on the ground who was wriggling and turning showing how much pain he was in.

I frowned as I stared at the boy on the floor for a few seconds, I was coming to a decision. Finally my conscience won and I moved closer and closer slowly while I watched around me to see if those boys who just ran would come back or something, I was in a clearing in a forest[1] so the situation of someone sneaking back was impossible. I thought of this as I got closer to the boy on the ground, I  noticed he had a striking golden hair that seemed all too natural and beautiful, I had a feeling the face couldn’t be bad when the hair looked like so, why I such a thought occurred to me at the moment eludes me though.

When I finally got beside the boy, I looked down at him as I pondered whether to touch him or not just in case things got worse because of that. The same situation I had been facing also occurred as I couldn’t see a single feature of his face, now that I thought about it I also couldn’t see the faces of the boys that beat him up when they turned around to run. He turned left and right as he held himself looking to be in great pain, I watched closely to see if I could get a clue of what was possibly going on. That was when the whole world brightened this time around as a wave of blinding golden light hit me before I knew it and I fell backwards.

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The tranquility of the night was broken when I woke up with a start, launching my self into a sitting posture, my back bent as I breathed fiercely. Beads of sweat had formed on my forehead as my heart threatened to tear up as it pumped adrenaline laced blood into every part of my body. The scene passing through in my head were in no way frightening, yet they filled me with an unease that was kinda ticking me off.

No matter how I tried I couldn’t remember a single thing in relation with all what was going on, so why did I keep feeling like this. I held my head as my feelings rolled about in turmoil, it was only after a few seconds was I able to calm down slightly.

As a growing casual habit, I swiped my hand as I yelled a command in my mind, I opened up the status screen formed by the essence in my body, the first status screen and there I saw it,

Physical status: Stressed

Mental status: Agitated

Seeing the report on both my physical and mental status, I exhaled as I laid back down on the bed, my head crashing softly on the pillow. My thoughts slowly beginning to regroup and organize itself again.

Two seconds later, the second voice in my head of present spoke in a calm tone, though I could feel a bit of worry from it.

“Isaac… it was all just a dream you know…”

With no particular thought on how to answer, I could inhale and exhale deeply before I nodded my head slowly, the thoughts slowly leaving as I felt slightly weary all of a sudden,

“Yeah, I know it was…”

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[1] – I really can only laugh at the coincidental scenes that all took place in a forest, it wasn’t my intention though. I think he just has a natural affinity for forests.