YOU ARE MY RUIN

Fractures and Silence

Fractures and Silence

I slowly opened my eyes. It took a second before I could finally process what I was seeing as pain throbbed through my skull.

I slowly tried to sit up, a hand resting on my shoulder gently helping me as I took in Vicky’s worried face.

I rubbed my face, my eyes moving to the drip pierced into my skin as I fought a sigh.

“How are you feeling now?” Vicky asked, her voice cracking. She seemed a minute away from tears.

“I’m fine,” I said, my voice dry.

“God, you scared me,” she said, a tear dropping as she dragged her hand through her hair, her face turning upward.

I looked down at my fingers, unable to meet her eyes.

“What happened?” I asked after she seemed to calm down a little.

“I went to your house, only to meet you lying face flat on the floor. You were barely breathing,” her voice cracked at the end.

I breathed in slowly.

“If I had gone there just a minute late, what would have happened?” she said, tears falling harder as she wiped her face.

“I’m sorry,” I said slowly, looking at her, but she wasn’t looking back, her hands still covering her face. “I’m really sorry, I… I just didn’t know what happened. I…”

“Aria… you know better than anyone what seeing you on the floor barely breathing did to me.”

“It felt like something in me broke watching you there, right there lying on the floor.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, drawing her into a hug, one she returned as tears fell from both of us.

I don’t know how long we stayed there, hugging, neither of us saying anything as tears fell, but at that moment, it felt like we understood each other without saying anything. At that moment, I knew why. I remembered why she was my best friend, why the trauma linked us both.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly.

“It’s okay,” she replied just as quietly.

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t know you were awake already.”

I turned toward the door where Jose stood.

“No, you can come in, Jose,” Vicky said, leaving my embrace, her face still wet from tears as she wiped her eyes.

“He was really worried about you too,” she said.

“I’m sorry,” I said, tears threatening to fall.

“It’s okay,” he said, embracing me.

“How bad is it?” I asked, my thoughts racing.

“Not bad at all, really. I managed to keep it private,” he replied.

I moved my gaze to Vicky, whose eyes were fixed outside the window. My hands moved to hers as I watched her gaze drop to our intertwined fingers before looking at me.

“I’m sorry for putting you through that. I was selfish and stupid. I’m really sorry… I’m really an ass.”

“It’s fine. I’m just glad you’re okay, and yes, you may be an ass,” she said, laughing softly.

I smiled, my first genuine smile in a long time.

“How did you… I mean, how did you find me?”

She sighed. “Well, I got a call from Sophie. She was trying to reach you, so she called me. I thought that was weird since you had just left, and your phone would surely be with you and all that. But then I thought maybe you just wanted to ignore her, so I tried calling you, but your phone was ringing and you weren’t picking up.

“I packed my things and left. Your door was open, and I saw you right there lying on the floor. I thought you must have fainted or something, but when I reached down, you were barely breathing. I didn’t even know what to think at that moment. I called Jose immediately, and we brought you here.”

“Oh,” I said, my eyes tracking Jose’s expression, then moving back to Vicky. As if sensing the tension, Jose quickly mumbled an excuse about bringing a doctor before leaving.

I sighed, my gaze still on our intertwined fingers.

“So…” Vicky called.

I refused to look up.

“I deserve an explanation, don’t you think?” she said.

“It’s just… I don’t know how to explain.”

“You do, okay? Aria, I know things aren’t fine with you. Hell, I wouldn’t be fine if I heard the monster I’m getting married to is in the same city as me, but I need you to trust me.”

“I’m your best friend, aren’t I?” I looked up.

“You would think I’m crazy,” I said quietly.

“You didn’t think I was crazy when I had my episodes. Why would I think the same of you?”

“It’s just— I keep seeing someone. It feels like someone is watching me, stalking me, waiting for me. It’s very weird, and today… today I felt him. I saw him when the light went off. I could have sworn I saw him, but when the light came back, it felt like I imagined him.

“I forget where I keep things, and it feels like I’m running crazy sometimes. I told my therapist, and she keeps saying I’m hallucinating because of the stress, but I’m not. I’m really not.”

“Therapist?” she asked softly.

“Yeah. I see a therapist.”

“For how long?”

“Since high school.”

“You thought I would think differently of you if I found out you see a therapist? I was abused, Aria. Did you see me differently?”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my voice cracking.

“For how long have you been seeing this person?” she asked, her voice turning even.

“It’s been like a month now.”

“A month?” her voice was barely a whisper.

“Come stay with me. And I don’t care what Sophia, Massimo, or your betrothed thinks. I only care about you. So come stay with me. We’ll figure it out at home.”