DANGEROUS OBSESSION

9

LAUREN MOSS

I made my bed, tidied up a few things in the bathroom, and put everything in order. I put away my phone and my materials, went to the laundry area, grabbed the broom and dustpan, and swept the floor of the bedroom, living room, kitchen, and laundry area, dumping everything in the trash.

I washed my hands, picked up the personalized water bottle from the kitchen, and filled it.

Forgetting something, I ran back to my room; put my house card and ID card, respectively into my uniform and around my neck so I wouldn’t lose them.

I grabbed a watch that was here and put it on my wrist. I’m trying to be more punctual now, so I don’t suffer as much and don’t embarrass myself anymore.

I took my bottle, which is actually pretty cool, and stepped out, locking the door behind me. I took a deep breath, walking around.

There’s no way I don’t feel out of place. Everyone here arrived before me, they have more connections, and I… am just here.

Still being looked at in a slightly strange way. I don’t know if it’s judgment. Well, some clearly are. I don’t know if it’s because they know who I am, or because I embarrassed myself, but there’s no way I feel completely comfortable.

“Lauren!” I hear my name and look back. It’s the girl from the room next to mine, the one I met earlier.

“Hi!” I respond, waiting for her to reach me, and she smiles.

“This morning was really hectic,” she comments as she walks up to me. “My name is Apia,” she introduces herself, and I smile.

“Nice to meet you, apparently, you already know my name,” I say awkwardly, smiling, and she nods.

“Well, everyone knows,” she says as we walk toward the dining hall. That alarm sound starts going off again. “And, honestly, everyone’s surprised at your performance today,” she says, and I smile.

“I hope you mean the test and not that I was the only one to enter the dining hall in pajamas,” I say, and she laughs.

“Well, the pajamas won’t be as talked about after the test you aced,” she says, and I smile.

“Thank you!” I respond.

“For someone like you, no one expected it,” she says, and I watch her, trying to tell if she’s being ignorant or genuinely sincere.

“What do you mean, someone like me?” I ask, and she looks at me, shaking her head negatively, a bit surprised.

“Don’t get me wrong. I meant what we know about you, about your family in this case. We didn’t expect you to be recruited, let alone to have the physical aptitude you do. That’s why we’re all surprised,” she explains, and… it’s noticeable.

But, I’m a sedentary person who goes to the gym, but I’m not exactly weak. I have strength, even if I’m not a bodybuilder or particularly athletic.

Still, coming from my family, who present one thing to society and are another at home, it doesn’t surprise me that they’d see me this way or label me as “weak.” Although, thinking about it, if I seem weak to them, I’d really like to know what they think of my sister.

“Yeah, I’m just as surprised as you are,” I say as we enter the dining hall.

“Hey!” a young man with brown hair and amber eyes greets us. He’s tall and really handsome too.

“Hi!” I respond along with Apia, who obviously already knows him, and judging by her expression, seems to like him.

I continue walking toward the buffet, feeling their gazes. But, well, I hope after some time they relax a bit and let me act like a normal person.

Apia comes right after and starts serving herself.

I serve myself. There’s so much delicious food here, and the smell… humn… wonderful. It whets your appetite instantly. Even though, obviously, the options are healthier, they look delicious.

I serve myself and glance at the table where I had sat this morning.

“Come on, Lauren,” Apia says after serving herself, and I follow her to her table, where, of course, the young man is, along with two more, extremely handsome, and another girl.

I’m starting to think one of the requirements to get in here is to be attractive, because… wow.

I’m not exaggerating. They’re really good-looking in some way.

Not as much as Blake. That I believe would be asking too much from God, but…

Why am I comparing?

“Hi!” I greet them before putting my plate on the table.

“Hi, welcome!” they all say, and my heart warms a little at the reception, making me feel slightly more comfortable as I sit down.

I didn’t want to feel like an intruder.

“Thank you!” I reply. “Have you been here for long?” I ask, genuinely curious.

“Some arrived two weeks ago, but the tests started a week ago,” the girl says, and I nod, realizing I’m actually screwed.

Two weeks of training?

“But you did well, don’t worry,” she adds, and I smile.

“Way too well for someone who hasn’t trained yet,” one of the guys comments and, well, I don’t blame him. I really managed to do something I didn’t think I could.

“Humn, by the way, my name is Lauren,” I introduce myself, not assuming they already know it. It’s the least I can do. Then they all introduce themselves too.

Well, I said the minimum, mostly about the training and all that, just enough to give me some context without being invasive or stepping into topics that belong to them.

I ate, grabbed some fruit afterward—two bananas, to be exact—to see if energy would hit me.

And, well, some people even started talking to me instead of staring like I was some animal at the zoo, which made things a bit better.

I drank some water and left as soon as the bell rang.

I went back to my room, letting everyone do what they wanted, and made myself a lemon tea to help with digestion.

We’ll have training soon, and I’m anxious. I don’t know what it’ll be, but well… It can’t be worse than what we had earlier.

I hope.

“Ai, ai, ai…” I say, placing my water bottle on the kitchen counter. When I grab the mug, my phone starts ringing back in the bedroom.

“Humn…” I mumble, heading there. “Who could it be? Damn, the university. Did they talk to the university?” Because my father is no fool, even if he doesn’t care about me.

I pick up my phone and see it’s Leandra, my sister. I hesitate before answering.

To give you some context, she and I practically never talk on the phone, and it’s definitely not something good.

Because the only times we’ve had minimally decent conversations were when the initiative came from me.

After all, I have siblings, but none of them are close to me. They don’t even try, as you’ve already seen.

And I used to force bonding, but besides being older than me—not by much, but still—they simply never cared, and I eventually stopped trying.

I gained a sister, Miriam, and I only lived with the others because of the blood that connects us.

If I explained every scenario, people would think it’s bizarre. I didn’t think so until Miriam did.

Anyways…

I decide to answer.

But the question lingers in my mind: why couldn’t Miriam call me, but she can?

Maybe they only allowed calls from them because of the lie.

“What do you want?” I ask immediately.

“Nothing much. Daddy, mom and I went out for dinner, we’re here with some friends, and dad mentioned your… project something something, and well…”

Why am I still listening to her?

“I had to do my sisterly duty and pretend I care about how you’re doing in the middle of dinner.” Oh, please.

“Well, I don’t need to pretend I’m interested in your stupidity,” I say. “I have things to do. Don’t bother me,” I add.

“Don’t you dare hang u—” she starts, but I can’t let her finish, because I hang up with immense satisfaction and anger.

“What an i***t,” I grumble, plugging my phone in to charge.

“Just what I needed,” I mutter, annoyed, going back to the kitchen to finish making my lemon tea.

If the training is too heavy, then at least I won’t throw up all my food.

And of course he’s out there bragging to his friends without even knowing half the truth.

Because all he cares about is appearing, performing, and showing off at my expense.

It’s always been like that.

From primary school to secondary school, I always finished as the top of the class, and I genuinely cared, because it was the only way he would talk about me to others.

“Look at Lauren, she’s the best student. Lauren got a scholarship. Lauren takes after me—very intelligent. Lauren is joining a science project. Lauren won this and that.”

He was never proud of me to my face, only to others. And well, hearing him talk about me like that to other people felt like a consolation prize, until I eventually got exhausted from trying so hard to get their attention.

He never once picked up a sheet of paper to explain even a single academic doubt of mine, which I used to think was completely normal.

Until I started going to Miriam’s house, or to other friends’ houses, and saw that parents actually helped and genuinely cared.

That made me want to be adopted by them.

Her parents are super cool, and half of the time, to escape the chaotic environment of that mansion, I stayed at her house wondering what I had done. Because if they acted like that with all of us, it would be one thing, but no, it was only with me.

When one of my brothers caused a car accident—because the two of them are reckless and think the roads were built by their parents, and they keep doing those stupid stunts on public roads…

None of them would ever go to jail as long as my parents found out before they reached the police station.

And the concern was always about whether they, the ones almost killing innocent people, were okay. But when it came to me, it was a completely different scenario.

I’ll explain that later, but I didn’t do anything illegal, just for the record. And I wasn’t literally arrested.

But I did end up at the police station, and oh, I truly thought they were going to have me thrown in jail, that’s what I thought.

Anyways…

I drank my tea, let my digestion settle, brushed my teeth, and lay down on the bed, waiting for the minutes to pass before I had to leave.

Meanwhile, I let my body rest, which feels broken from all the effort. I was starting to get sleepy again when that alarm sound went off.

“Come on, Lau,” I tell myself as I get up.

I head to the bathroom, splash cold water on my face, put on my gloss, and head out.