The Vampire Playboy - Blood and Lust

Chapter 30

Charlie's POV

My chest had felt weighted since I'd stopped Liv and removed her from my lap. It wasn't a feeling I was used to and stopping a girl from kissing me wasn't something I made a habit of doing either. I felt conflicted about the whole thing. The look on Liv's face looked confused and horrified by my actions.

All my thoughts and feelings surrounding Liv were new to me, just being in close proximity to her and not touching her was difficult, I was restless when I wasn't near her and felt complete when I was. I was only starting to admit to myself that I felt like this and that it scared me and confused me, so I had absolutely no chance of articulating them to Liv. Admittedly my communication was s**t too, I should have told her I wasn't rejecting her, that I wanted badly to touch and taste her out there, that the whole thing with Carmella was an elaborate sham to cover up how I felt about her, instead I acted hastily because I didn't trust myself not to lean into my want, my need for her. But these tiny moments with Liv weren't enough anymore, I wanted to do this right, I wanted her to be over with Noah, to seek his permission and take this slowly, to treat her like she should be, not sneaking around. Instead, I acted first and thought later like I always did and I knew right away I'd blown it, that was mistake number 1. I'd seen it on her face when she came inside. It didn't help that Carmella was all over me and I hadn't stopped her. That was mistake number 2.

I watched Liv throwback glass after glass of wine, I'd never seen her drink so much and judging by the concerned look on Sophie and Owen’s faces when they would glance at Liv they hadn't either. It took everything in my power not to react to Noah's arm around Liv or the fact that she was cuddled into him. Not that I was in a position to judge given my current predicament of having Carmella on my lap. I'd fu*ked up and I knew it. As the night wore on my jealousy increased and instead of just calling it a night I played up to my reputation as a playboy. Mistake number 3.

The more Liv would drink the more relaxed she became, her shawl would fall off her shoulders exposing those incredibly sexy pyjamas that she wore, the lace trim drew my eyes to every part of her body that I wanted to caress, her skin was flushed pink, probably from the heat and the wine. I'd watch Noah's hand skim across her bare arm and my fists would clench involuntarily. Carmella seemed to pick up on this and would run her finger down my arm or my chest, occasionally I'd feel her tongue flick into my ear. I wanted nothing more than to throw her off of me and tell her not to touch me again but Noah and the rest were watching. So whilst I kept up this little charade I knew I was hurting Liv, she looked pained with every glance and the guilt was eating me up, but it didn't outweigh the guilt I felt towards Noah which kept me on course. I knew I'd have to find time to speak privately to her tomorrow, do damage limitation and hoped she would give me another chance. But I knew I was doing s**t, I was treating her like s**t, I was treating Noah like s**t and I was treating Carmella like s**t, and I felt like s**t for doing it. A feeling in the bottom of my gut told me this was all going to end badly and it would be my doing.

I was relieved when everyone including Liv finally decided they were going to bed. I'd have to thank Owen tomorrow for being horny and wanting to bed Sophie for once. I stayed back offering to clear away the glasses and bottles that had accumulated. I loaded the dishwasher and set it going and began to pile the bottles on the side, making a list of what I'd need to ask my supplier to restock in the cellar. I wiped down the surfaces of the kitchen so everything was ready for breakfast the next morning. I planned on getting up before everyone to make pancakes, hoping it would earn me some brownie points with Liv. I'd delayed it long enough that everyone would be in bed, so I grabbed a glass and turned on the tap to fill it with water. The tap spluttered water everywhere soaking my top. "s**t!" I exclaimed as I turned off the water and pulled my top off, good job it was right before bed and only water.

I was caught off guard when I turned to find Carmella standing there chewing her lip, a look in her eye that I had seen many times before when she had one thing on her mind. s**t.

"Hey, I thought you had gone to bed," I said, whilst thinking it was more like I'd hoped she had gone to bed, I should have known that she wouldn't give up easily. This woman could play games better than me at times.

"I was waiting for you to show me the way to your bedroom," Carmella said with a sultry tone.

I sighed loudly. "I've already told you, it's not happening. "

She pouted and made her way towards me, "Don't play games, Charlie, it's been months, you've never gone this long without fu*king me. I'm not the only one who's noticed that you're off your game. What you need is a palate cleanser, a sorbet of sorts" she said with a smirk.

"And what are you? Bitter Lemon?" I asked full of scorn. I wasn't in the mood for this tonight.

"You know you want to" she replied as she ran a finger down my chest causing me to freeze.

Carmella moved in closer so that I could feel her warm breath on my skin. A few months ago I would have had her bent across the counter without a second thought, things had changed, I'd changed and this wasn't happening no matter what she said or did. I'd already messed up tonight with Liv and I wasn't about to do it again.

"I really don't" I responded curtly, this only prompted her to lower her hands to between my legs and begin rubbing, I snatched up her wrists in my hands, pulling them up and holding them so she couldn't continue. "I said no!" I hissed.

"Is this about Olivia?" She said, my body turned to stone as I heard them and I wrestled to control my face so as not to react. Another smirk spread across her face. s**t, she had picked up on my reaction.

"Your level of jealousy knows no bounds, are you forgetting that she's dating Noah?" I said trying to sound nonchalant.

"I see the way you look at her, the way you are around her, you're like a lovesick puppy."

"You're wrong, I'm not interested in Liv"

Carmella cackled. "There you go again, Liv this Liv that, you do realise you're the only person who calls her that. It's cute you've got a pet name for your best friend's girlfriend."

Shit. She had me there.

"I call her Liv because I know it annoys her. I've got no interest in her"

"You've had no interest in anyone except her since arrived. I watched and I see things in O'Malley's you know, and I know you haven't just been off your game, you've given your game up."

I inhaled loudly, "That's bullshit" I laughed.

"Prove it then, you aren't interested in her? She means nothing to you? Prove it." She said as she leaned forward and began kissing my neck. I closed my eyes trying to think what to do. I had two options, I could let this play out, and give her what she wants and it would get both her and Noah off my back but would ruin everything with Liv, I wouldn't be able to come back from that with her. Or I could continue to reject her, it would piss her off and make the weekend difficult but it wouldn't hurt Liv.

I felt her tug her wrist free and ran it down my chest towards the V of my trousers before finally pulling her other wrist free of my hands too. My arms dropped to my side like they were made of stone. My brain wasn't thinking quickly enough about how to get out of this, I couldn't let it happen. I felt her undo my trousers and release me from them. I was as far from turned on as possible but this didn't deter her, I felt her wrap her plump lips around my tip. I tossed my head back, sense flooding into me, I roughly grabbed her elbows and pulled her onto her feet, before quickly pulling my trousers up.

Carmella looked hurt and I momentarily had guilt. I scrubbed my hand over my face.

"Look you're a great girl, and I know it's a cliche but it's not you, it's definitely me, but I can't. I'm trying to change, to do better and to be better so I can't do this. I'm done with the days of fu*king around and being a playboy" I replied as softly and sincerely as I could.

"What's so special about her that both you and Noah, who were confirmed playboys for life, are willing to change?"

"This is about me, not Liv." I protested.

"Then you're lying to yourself as well as me, and your best friend." She hissed before turning and going into the downstairs bathroom.

I didn't want to hang around for another confrontation so I grabbed my glass of water and headed for my bedroom.

I could hear heavy breathing and kissing sounds, I rounded the corner expecting to see Owen and Sophie, instead, I felt sick as I saw Noah with Liv's thighs wrapped around his waist as he held onto her. He was walking towards his bedroom door, Liv had her head buried in his neck.

"f**k don't stop that" Noah gasped before entering the room with them both and closing the door with a thud.

Pain radiated from my chest, a pain I'd only ever felt once before, a pain I didn't expect to ever feel again, certainly not for a girl I hardly knew. I'd felt this pain when things had ended with Alexandra, our relationship had been intense, more intense than most had with their maker, that bond and connection was deep and painful, but this, this cut deeper and suddenly I couldn't breathe. I needed to get out of here, I couldn't be here right now.

I took off to my bedroom, grabbed a fresh top, pulled on shoes and opened my window, without a second thought I launched myself onto the roof and used it as a springboard to hit the top deck, using my speed I took off into the dark of night. My night vision was just as good as daylight, the large pines were a blur as I passed by them, and I heard various small creatures scurrying into their burrows to avoid me. Two eyes caught my attention in the distance and I zoned in on my prey, I let out a roar startling the stag and causing him to run. His magnificent antlers caught the moonlight as he tried to outrun me. I gave chase, coiling into a lunge onto the stag's back, he bucked and thrashed, throwing me off. A smile snaked onto my face, as I felt my eyes transform and my teeth sharpen. The ultimate killing weapon, I crouched low on the ground as the stag turned to face me getting ready to charge. These kills were always the hardest, the ones who fought back desperate to keep their life even when they knew they were fighting a losing battle with the ultimate predator. I braced myself as the stag prepared to charge, he looked me boldly in the eye and I felt a moment of pity for the animal. I could admire his bravery in the face of death, his defiant last stand. He charged and I spun to the right to avoid him, not quickly enough this time as I felt the tip of his antlers tear through the skin on my left side. I roared and flipped into the air landing on the stag's back, swiftly I took his neck and snapped it, his body crumpled under my weight hitting the ground with a sickening thud.

I wasted no time sinking my fangs into his neck, the last of his life seeping out through his warm blood and flowing into me. For me to survive he must die. I savoured the feeling of warmth creeping through me, bringing some comfort to me. I took my fill and stood up, feeling pain where the stag had gotten me. I was careless, that hadn't happened in decades and usually only with prey like Bears or mountain lions when I was elsewhere. I winced a bit with the pain and then felt relief that I was feeling a different pain from the one inside my chest that hadn't left. At least the pain in my side would be gone soon, nothing but a flesh wound that would heal quickly now that I had fed, I couldn't say the same for the other wound. Imaged flooded my mind and I let out a pained roar, I turned and ripped a tree out by the trunk throwing it as far as I could and watching as it hit a rock and smashed to pieces. The pain in my side subsided as it healed and I felt anger that I was left with the other more dominating pain. I wanted it gone. I saw a rockface to my left, I made to it with speed, I pulled my left fist back into a ball and force it into the solid granite stone, I grunted as my hand connected with it, vibrating up my arm, I followed with my right hand, pounding into the rock, breathing in every inch of pain as it took ogee, blow after blow landed until my hands were bloody and torn.

And yet the other pain was still overwhelming. I let out a roar as I fell to my knees in resignation.