The Pack’s Treason

The Shift

« The full moon run can now start! » My father’s words echoed in my ears while I followed the others outside. Everyone was running and howling like crazy, jumping and celebrating the end of the ceremony. Soon we got to the area where the forest was the deepest and we kept going, pouncing between the trees. The dark sky above our heads was lit up with the beautiful bluish glow of the full moon and I was starting to feel shivers going through my body. I glanced at Luke who was running next to me and he smiled reassuringly. We finally got to a small clearing and we all stopped there. The shivers were starting to get more and more intense, almost violent, and I felt hot, almost like I had a fever. I knelt down on the grass, trying to catch my breath, but it was getting harder and harder to breathe as a searing pain had started going through my body. Someone screamed next to me and this time it wasn’t a celebratory scream.

« We are starting to shift, » Nyx said excitedly. I could not find the strength to answer her, my mind was racing.

Fear shot through me as more people around me started crying out in suffering. I gritted my teeth when a wave of burning pain spread inside me and screeched as it grew more and more intense. I forgot everyone around me, there was only the fire scorching me alive.

Suddenly, I heard howls. Not human howls like earlier. Wolves. They came from farther away, behind the trees surrounding the clearing. It started with a few howls here and there, but then, more and more joined in a beautiful symphony. The flames in my body seemed to lose their strength and became more bearable as they got louder.

« It’s our pack members encouraging us! They’re cheering for us, making sure we know they are there and we can do this. It’s almost over, Beatriz. You need to stop fighting it now, let me in. »

I tried to listen to my wolf but I was tense as a board. I was in such pain and as sad as it sounded, I did not fully trust her. I mean, did she really have my best interest at heart? We never really got along before... Why would we now? A gutting fear was holding me captive. Would I be okay? Could I really do this? Could I let Nyx take the lead? Around me I could hear howls that came from closer, inside the clearing. The other new shifters had done it, they were shifting for the first time. I rolled on the ground still at war with myself.

« BEATRIZ »

Nyx’s voice sounded so far in my head. I could not fight it anymore. I was exhausted. I let out a scream worse than any I had ever yelled and my whole body went limp, the pain finally disappearing. I stood there for a few moments, stretched out on the cold ground, panting. It was over, completely over. I finally opened my eyes and took a look around me. Everyone in the clearing had shifted already and were shaking themselves in an attempt to collect themselves. I tried getting up too and realized that I had no hands anymore. Two front paws covered with pitch black fur were in my vision.

« Hey there. It was about time you let me help you complete the shift! I thought we would stay lying there in your human form forever! » Nyx’s voice rang louder than ever in my head. She took control for the first time ever and made me stand up in our wolf form with no effort at all. I suddenly realized we were at least a whole head taller than the other wolves. With our fur the color of night and the fact we were literally towering above the others, we were quite imposing.

« We are huge! » I answered her without thinking. She growled out loud.

« Are you saying I’m fat? »

« What? No, that’s not it! »

« I told you, we are stronger than you think. We have Alpha blood. I’m an Alpha wolf. »

What? Alpha? No... I don’t want to be an Alpha. I just want to live my life quietly as a Beta’s mate... wait a minute!

All of a sudden, I remembered Luke was there too. How could I have forgotten? It was our big moment when we received the confirmation we were mates. I took control back from Nyx, who had followed my train of thoughts and gave it back without a fight. I spun around and finally found him standing there, an impressive, strong looking brown wolf just standing there. I felt my tail start wagging. LUKE! I was about to jump towards him when I realized nothing special was happening. No delicious scent was coming from him, no sparks, no connection. And even worse, he was not even looking at me, not really. He was actually looking behind me, right past me. « No. » I thought. « This can’t be real. »

Behind me stood a small red wolf with hazel eyes. Rachel. My best friend. I looked back at Luke who's blue eyes were fixated on her, and I knew even before the word echoed through the pack link so everyone could hear him claim :

« MATE! »

He ran passed me to get to her and it felt like the air had been knocked from my lungs. How could this happen? It had to be a nightmare. I turned around and saw them playing with each other, rubbing their noses together, playfully biting each other. A whimper escaped me. I couldn’t help it. The pain was immense, even greater than the one I had experienced from the shift just a minute ago. This was supposed to be us, dancing around each other like happy pups. How could the Moon Goddess do this to me?

My little noise of despair stopped Luke and Rachel in their tracks and they finally seemed to remember I existed. For a moment, nobody said anything and I realized everyone was watching us. The first time shifters but also the older member of the pack who had joined us after the shift. Everyone was watching this unfold and I had not even noticed them. It made me feel even worse knowing all my pack members of shifting age were witnessing my agony. Luke finally broke the silence through the pack link.

« Bee.. »

This was the last straw for me. Hearing his voice saying my nickname at that moment, it felt like someone had just stabbed me with a silver blade. I spun around on my paws and started running as fast as I could.

« No, Beatriz, wait! » I could hear Rachel calling me but I just ignored her and kept going.

« No, stop. Let her go. She needs to be alone right now. » My mother’s voice rang in my mind before I cut contact with the pack. The link was still there but I just kind of put them on mute for the moment. I could not bear to hear what any of them had to say right now.

I ran and ran and ran between the trees without even knowing where I was going. Everything went so horribly wrong. Right now, Rachel was probably running with MY Luke, as happy as can be. They would probably go somewhere quiet where they could be alone and then they would shift back and make love and mark each other... I let out a harrowing howl at this thought. It was supposed to be me! I was supposed to be his mate! I was the one supposed to run with him under the full moon, not alone ripped apart by the pain of this betrayal.

I finally stopped once I reached a lake I didn’t recognize. Was I even still in the pack’s territory? I did not even care anymore. I let out another howl in which I put all my loneliness and sadness. Then, at last, I let myself fall on the ground. The shift had already taken the biggest part of my strength, the shock of seeing Rachel and Luke together as mates sapped the rest of my energy.

« I’m sorry Beatriz. I tried to warn you this could happen.. »

« Yeah, I guess you’re real happy now, aren’t you? You can tell me I told you so! »I replied with as much venom as I could to my wolf.

« No, not at all, I do not enjoy seeing you suffer like this. I share all of your emotions, remember? This hurts me too. »

« Stop acting like you care! You don’t! You never even liked Luke anyway! »

« I’m sorry Beatriz, I just always kind of felt deep down that we were destined for someone else. I told you, we have so much potential.. »

I growled in frustration. I had enough of her.

« Not your Alpha wolf bullsh*t again!? Seriously, what’s wrong with you? »

I thought back to Rachel’s dainty cute red wolf. Or my mother’s small grey wolf. Why couldn’t I look like that? Why was Nyx black as night and bigger than all the other wolves, even Luke’s beta wolf? I never wanted this. I wanted a cute small wolf, not a fighter, not a leader. A wolf that fit me.

« Leave me alone, you freak! » I screeched in my head.

« Beatriz.. you’re not really thinking this, you’re.. » I could feel how hurt Nyx was, but I didn’t care anymore.

« GO AWAY! » I heard her whimper in my head and then she was gone. I felt myself shift back (painlessly this time) and I just lay there, naked on the cold ground. I had a brief thought about my black dress torn apart and abandoned on the grass back in the clearing. I wish I had something to cover myself with. I started crying and crying, unable to stop myself. My life was ruined. All I've ever wanted was to be with Luke, have his pups and grow old together. How could I ever face anyone after this? I never wanted to see any of them ever again. Especially not Luke and Rachel.

I had no idea how long had passed before my tears finally stopped, but when they did, I realized I was shivering. Was I cold? Sure, the night wasn't too warm and I was naked, but I was a she wolf. I was not supposed to be freezing when there wasn't even any snow on the ground. I started picking myself up when I heard a rustling sound. I turned to see the leaves from a bush not far from me starting to move. I stumbled up to my feet. Was anybody coming to find me? I wasn't ready to speak with any of my pack members. Slowly, a gray wolf came out of the branches and I gasped. It was massive. I tried re-establishing the pack link in my mind to speak with the newcomer, but to my confusion, I couldn't. It was like the contact had been severed. A growl made me jump. The wolf had its teeth out and was snarling at me.

"Sh*t," I muttered, my heart beating out of my chest. That was not one of my pack members. In a panic, I tried shifting but nothing happened. "Nyx?!" No response. Was she really going to leave me alone in this situation? The intruder took a few steps towards me and I did the only thing I could think to do. I ran.