She Thought

Chapter 12

"Axe, busy ka ba today?" tanong ko habang kausap siya sa phone.

“Hindi Zia, bakit?” he replied.

“Pakitulungan namin kami magpack ng gamit, mabibigat kasi tapos ang hina namin ni Mom.” I replied.

As always Axe is a one call away friend. He’s always there when you feel tired that’s why I don’t want to lose him.

“Honey can you adjust to a new environment?” Mom asked while we were packing.

“Yes Mom, I will po because its good for the both of us.” I replied and smiled.

We were moving to my grandma house by my mother’s side in Baguio because Mom decided to take a break muna because she seems so problematic na. We had time to pack because Dad is in his office. He called us but Mom said that we should just let Dad regret what he did. Axe arrived and he help us fix and pack some things. Mom also said that we will just pack some important documents and stuff so that hindi na mahassle sa car.

“Zia puwede ba ako sumama?” Axe said when we’re done packing.

“Si Mom pa yung uuna doon. Bukas pa ako pupunta kasi kakausapin ko muna si Daddy.” I said.

“Sure kaba kaya mo? Gusto mo bang malaman anong nangyari doon nung umalis kayo?” he said.

“Hindi naman puwede na isang side lang ang papakinggan ko.” sagot ko.

“Ang bait mo talaga Zia, kahit alam mong napakamali ng ginawa ng Dad mo.” he said.

“Ayokong humarap sa ibang kaibigan ko Axe because I saw it, I saw there eyes like they watched us like a sinner na and sobrang judgemental ng mata nila.” I said.

“Nung umalis kayo sa restaurant sinabihan ng Dad mo yung babae na umalis at dapat mag-usap muna sila sa ibang araw at iclarify lahat ng bagay. Zia kung gusto mo naman magalit at umiyak nandito lang naman ako para maging sandigan mo.” Axe said.

“I’m okay naman Axe. No need to cry and hate Dad because I can’t change anything. All I need to do is to respect and hear his side.” I said and I told Axe to leave kasi baka may gagawin pa siya.

I told our driver that to take care and slowly lang kasi baka mapano sila. I stayed here at my room and I think that I will going to miss this. Dad will be at home in 7:00 P.M. so I decided to go to the music room and played some songs until someone opened the door.

“Zia, I think you made a made a mistake. Your middle finger should be here” Dad said. “ You don’t need to have a perfect melody you just need to vibe and enjoy” He added. “You also don’t need to blame yourself honey.” He said.

“Dad can you please tell me directly? Why did you do it?” I asked while wiping my tears kasi napakasakit na.

“Honey let me explain muna” Dad said so I calm down kasi if sisigawan ko si Dad ma cacarried away ako sa emotions ko.

Me and Dad talked about their love story on how Mom and Dad met. It is just only one-sided love pala when they got married because Dad need to follow their parents dahil naman sa business. That girl in the restaurant was the one who really Dad loved. I understand Mom why she easily let go because she it’s hard to love someone who didn’t love you back. Dad told me that I should choose a man who would love me so much and I should love him back. Hindi dapat ang babae ang mas unang magmahal kasi napakahirap ang sitwasyon na ganyan.

“Zia I love you so much and nung lumabas ka natutunan kong mahalin yung Mom mo and my feelings that time was real pero pag dumating yung babaeng unang minahal ko na realize ko na minahal ko pa lang yung Mom mo kasi siya yung nandoon. Minahal ko naman yung Mom mo Zia kahit sa panandaliang panahon lang.” Dad explained.

“Ayaw ko naman din masaktan si Yellie dahil sa pagmamahal niya sa akin nakabuo kami ng magandang babae at masarap magmahal na anak. Zia sorry for all the mistakes that I did. Alam kong nagkulang ako Zia pero salamat kasi you hear my side. Nagmana ka talaga sa Mom mo. I know that I am very lucky because your Mom loves me so much but Zia ayaw ko ipilit ang sarili ko to love Yellie because she deserves someone who would really love her.” Dad added then he hugged me while crying.

“I hope Dad that you will give so much time and love for your new family. Life is just short and you need to enjoy and achieve the things you want to. I hope Dad that you will never regret and always be happy. Dad I am very happy because you choose your dreams than me because you’re such a great Dad for me. Always take care of your self and I will never forget the memories we spend together and the things you taught me. Thank you so much Dad and happy for you, you don’t have to force yourself to love Mom.” I said and then hugged him for the last time and then I entered the car.

I told my driver to stop over muna sa beach because I need to face Mom na okay ako. I thought I would never cry again but anong nangyari? I am a hypocrite one. I thought that kakayanin ko dahil may mga kaibigan ako pero where are they? I cried until maubos ang luha ko kasi ayaw ko umiyak sa harap ni Mom. I thought na pupunta yung friends ko sa bahay and they will check on me but why they even judge me? Baka lang kailangan din nila kaya okay lang…

“Baby! It’s good that you came here.” Mom said when I arrived.

“Yes Mom, napakatraffic po kasi at mano po Lola.” I said.

I immediately go to my room because I really had a tired day. I woke up early and I saw my Lola cooking for our breakfast so I just helped her and we talked about some stuffs because we just rarely talked. I loved it here parang wala akong problema and it doesn’t feel lonely here. We eat breakfast and we had a enjoyable morning. It’s my first time to witness the smile of my mom and it feels so happy.

After we ate I go to my terrace in the room because I had to relax myself. I thought that we will achieve that perfect family. I thought I wouldn’t witness a couple who separated ways but it is always like this? It is one of the meaning of life? Not at all times the one you expect is what you want to happened because you cannot guess what will happen tomorrow and the next way. Would I still keep expecting? Yes because that’s how I live. I even thought that my friends would check me up and asked me or visit me but why I don’t even receive any calls? Let’s just wait until they approach me.