My Invisible Chains

The Skills To Pay The Bills

    At the kitchen table, I sat going through our mail. Our rent was unpaid and the water and electricity were Late. Three medical bills were wedged in between. Pulling down my left sleeve, I wrote Pay water and elec. I would be running into town for groceries later, and I couldn't forget to pay those off. Standing up, I went over to my backpack and started working on Calculous. We were given a semi large assignment, and it was due Thursday. Thirty minutes later my homework was done and I was ready to go to town.

    Walking to the nearest bus station, I made my way down the far end of town. The bank was ready for deposit and my checks were graciously accepted. On the side of the building was a sign advertising youth groups at the Sister Lakes Church. That church was located two blocks down from the bank. Because it was Wednesday, Liam was in with the advertised youth group. It was a cute little church with Christ's cross above the main doorway. It was a great place to be, I used to go myself. The  best part was when you walked inside. If you arrived at eight-thirty exact, you could here all the kids singing. One of the teachers played the guitar. There music was so heart filled, that it almost broke my heart every time I came in.

    Liam was on the far side of the group playing the tambourine. He didn't look enthusiastic about the music. In all honesty he was probably thinking about going back to the kitchen to get more food. The teachers would have dinner when the kids got there, and oh man can Liam pack away food. He must have two hollow legs and a second cousin inside his stomach that he has to feed before he can fill up his actual stomach.

    At the sight of me Liam started to get up but I quickly shook my head. His face immediately started pouting. Tuff luck for him, the rest of the group needed the steady beat. Once the song was over I clapped enthusiastically. The kids turned around and a few bowed.

"Alright, it's time for Liam to go," said the teacher, "everyone wave goodbye!" everyone waved goodbye. Those who knew it annoyed him started waving extra hard and saying goodbye, getting all the little kids to repeat them.

"I hate it when they do that," Liam drug his feet all the way out into the front lobby.

"Yeah, I'm sure you do." Holding the door open, I was about to follow Liam out but Pastor John hollered out to me.

"Kathrine! It's so good to see you!" His smile creating wrinkles all across his face.

"Likewise," I replied. Liam closed the door and it was just me and John. "How have things been going?"

"Oh, not to bad. I can say though, this week we managed to raise some more money to help you out." Blinking in surprise I retorted, 

"What?! Oh no, you guys don't need to," before I could finish, Pastor John pulled a check out of his jacket and offered it to me.

"It came from everyone here at the church."

"John, I can't accept this, this money belongs to other people," he grabbed my hand and wrapped it around the check.

"By people who want to help you." Looking down at the ground I struggled for words. The check was signed for nine hundred dollars. 

"Thank you." Looking up, his eyes aged green eyes were sparkling.

"You're welcome, and just remember that the lord always has time for you."

"Thank you," Pastor John nodded and walked back down stairs. Walking out the door, Liam and I turned right and walked toward Albertsons. "Alright, lets just get the necessary things." Liam grabbed a cart and threw in a couple bags of bread and a jar of peanut butter. I grabbed milk, eggs,  and cheese. In the cart was also fruit loops and captain crunch. "Whoa, what is this?" I said, pointing down at the cereal. "Nothing sugary, it rots your brain for school." 

"You aren't in charge of me, I can buy what ever I want." his hands were on his hips and his freckled nose was scrunched up.

"Yeah, well you're not the one who will be paying for everything." Only after another moment of glairing did he take the sugary cereal back. When I saw him again he had honey nut cheerios and raisin brand. Now that is what I call cereal. I sent him to grab toilet paper and soap while I gabbed honey and some vegetables. Once regrouped, we made our way to the checkout.

"Here are a few pieces to our game board," the cashier said, handing us a handful of papers with the monopoly guy on them. Handing them to Liam I said,

"Save them, see if we get any closer." Albertsons always passed out stuff like that. We had a paper Monopoly board at home and Liam likes to play the game. If you can get all of one color then you can come in and see if you can win a prize. Usually its a discount on groceries which we could honestly use. "Hey Liam," we were walking down the road toward the bus stop.

"Yeah,"

"We still have thirty minutes till the bus gets here, wanna go get ice cream or something?" A flash of surprise spread across his face.

"Are you pulling my leg?"

"No, I'm serious, we can go to Dairy Queen." a light bounce formed in his step but he quickly removed it.

"Don't we need the money for something else though?"

"I got a little extra this week," the bounce returned and he let out screech,

"YIPPPYYYY!!"

"Oww," I took my hands to my ears, "you don't have to let the whole world know." If he heard me he didn't show it. He dashed forward, apparently unable to wait to get there.

    At the bus station, we were both holding a hot fudge Sunday with peanuts on top. Liam was smiling from ear to ear. Within seconds the bus arrived and we boarded with our gold. We made sure to finish our treat before we got home, and when we arrived Liam helped me put all the groceries away. He was right earlier. I didn't get payed extra and we probably needed that money for bills, but he hadn't had anything like that in a long while, and well, he needed it. On the table were the water, electric, and medical bills.

"Hey Liam, wanna shred these?" He looked over and saw the two bills in my hand.

"Sure, we get them payed off?"

"Yup."

"Sweet." I pulled the check from the church out of my pocket. It was so nice of them to help us out, unfortunately no amount of money they could give would get us out of the whole. Sifting through the mail again I found an unfamiliar letter that I hadn't seen before. It was titled, DISABILITY. Oh, this was good news. I thought this would never come. Because my mom is disabled and can't walk, we get a check to help pay for our family. With the disability check and the money from the church, there may be enough to pay off all three checks. Ohh, a breather. Walking into the sitting room, I plopped myself into our old recliner and closed my eyes. Were gonna make it. Slowly but surly, we'll make it.

About an hour later an alarm on my phone went off. Five thirty. Looking over Liam was waking up from his nap on the couch. "Is it that time already?"

"Yeah," I stretched to the celling, "Come on." Liam and I grabbed our jackets again and walked out the door. We were on our way to the hospital. It was all the way into the next town, but that wouldn't take long. The real problem was our mother. We hadn't seen her in a while. I've been so busy and Liam can't drive. I just hope she looks well, or I may lose my self. Dr. Marcus's face flashed in my mind. It was possible we could run into him today. I wish he wouldn't lie. It really is a waist of his time and it doesn't help me any. 

    Walking into the hospital was like walking into a meat freezer. I know that cold places usually mean that bacteria doesn't grow their, but wouldn't they want a more comfortable feel for a place of medicine? At the front desk was a tired, wrinkly woman who probably belonged in a nursing home. She had to clear her throat a few times before her rusty voice could form words. "Do you have an appointment?" Yes ma'am, every Wednesday." Her frail finger flipped through her schedule book. "Of course, you can head up if you would like." Going around the desk, we entered a long hall that had multiple rooms on each side.

"Of course, you can head up if you would like," Liam had his finger out and was hunched over, squinting one eye.

"What are you doing?" I couldn't help but let a smile creep across my face.

"Imitating that old lady. I mean, of course we want to go back, why else would we have stopped by? To have a cup of tea?" He was now acting like an old French person from the 1800's sipping a cup of tea. 

"Quiet, someone's going to here you," I knew laughing would only make it worse, but I couldn't help. He started walking with an invisible Kane. Then a nurse came out of our mothers room. She stopped and stared at us, and them walked off as if pretending that she didn't just see two hooligans strolling down the hall. Rounding the corner, we turned into our mothers room. Something in there wretched all the giggles out of our throats and left them soar. Seeing our mother in a nursing bed was the worst part of every week.

"You two wouldn't have been imitating the lady at the front desk were you? I could here the giggling all the way down the hall." Her thin lips curled into a smile, causing us both to laugh.

"Well, maybe just a little," Liam held out his hand showing how little with his fingers.

"Mmmmm, and I'm guessing you weren't much help," She was looking strait at me. Bashfully I looked down. Then she laughed. "Come give me a hug!" She wrapped her frail arms around us, her IV looped over my shoulder. "Ohhh, its so great to see you guys!" She never stopped smiling. "Liam, how are your friends"

"Their all right, could be better, but alright." She put her hand on his cheek. 

"You keep getting bigger and bigger every day." Pride echoed from her eyes. "You are getting pretty good looking," They both laughed, "and your hair is such a nice color, it just needs a little trimming, that's all." Her fingers fluffed his uncombed locks. "And Kathrin, how is the new semester?" I laughed.

"Well,"

"Well?"

"Grace changed my schedule and added a class." She lit up.

"Oh! That's great! What class?"

"Art,"

"That's amazing! Your going to have so much fun in that class! Send me all your work, It will help liven up my little room here."

"Yeah, this room definitely needs excitement." Liam looked around.

"And how is work?" How is it that she always knew everything?

"It's good, I made a few extra dollars, and I got some of the bills payed off."

"Hey Liam, would you go back to the desk and take my flowers to the front desk for me? They need a little bit of excitement in there."

"Sure," he grabbed the flowers and walked out the door.

"Kristine, come here please." She sat up a little straighter against her pillows. I sat down by her legs, folding my hands in my lap. "How many hours have you worked this week?" She wasn't smiling.

"I don't exactly remember." Her frail hands wrapped around mine.

"Kathrine, you know you don't have to work that much,"

"Yes mom, I do. Some one has to pay the bills while your stuck in here."

"Kathrine, you need to live, not work yourself to death."

"I don't exactly have a choice."

"Kathrine, you always have a choice."

"no mom, I don't."

"Kathrine,"

"Mom, someone has to pay for your bills, someone has to take care of the food, and the house,"

"Kathrine, listen to me," She cupped my face in her hands. "Thank you for everything you've done. Thank you for taking care of me and Liam. Thank you for doing everything in your power to take care of this family." Her thumbs caught my tears. "But Kathrine, just remember to take time to take care of you. This is your life. You are what matters."

"What matters the most to me is my family, and mom, the only way to help me is to make sure that you and Liam are ok."

"I understand."

"Mom." my voice was weak.

"Yes," the whisper of the wind could have been louder.

"What is going on." I couldn't stop the tears. My throat was swollen. My mother looked down.

"What did Mr. Marcus tell you?"

"He told me that they were clearing the cancer," I raised my eyes to hers, "then he told me that there was a minor complication with your lung condition." My body was shaking. My mother exhaled and looked down again.

"Kathrine, you know I smoked for half of my life. And that destroyed my lungs. He is right, they are clearing the cancer, but they are worried about the condition my lungs will be in after treatment." I couldn't look her in the eyes.

"So what's going to happen." Her hand whipped away more tears, both from me and her.

"Well, I'm going to get through treatment, and that ends after your junior fundraiser here in a few months."

"And, after that." Holding hands we looked up.

"And after that they will send me home."

"Mom,"

"Kathrine, I have faith in our father that my lungs will last through treatment. I know that because my will will not let anything other than that happen. And after I get home, I will spend every second I get with you and Liam."

"But, how long."

"As long as god thinks I need. It could be months or weeks, we don't know."

"Mom, I'm not ready for this,"

"I know, and you don't have to be. Just live your life Kristine. I'll be here in this bed till March. Then when I get home you won't have to work as much, and you won't have to worry. Ok?"

"Ok."

"Ok," we sat there in a moment of silence. Holding each other.

"Mom,"

"Yes,"

"I love you." she smiled.

"I know." Although the cancer had taken away most of her strength, she was still able to crush my bones with her hug.

"I love you to. Now go find your brother and get some rest. You'll need it." Her pail skin was sickening but she asked me to have faith.

"I love you."

"Love you to." I looked at her until the hallway was all I could see. Liam was standing outside the door. He looked at me, and then turned and started walking down the hall. Tears still flooded down my red cheeks. All I have is my family. What I would give to make sure they could have everything.