ALL MY HEART WANTS IS YOU

CHAPTER 5 - WHEN OLD LOVERS MEET

SARAH

I stood there and enjoyed the warmth of Bryan's familiar lips on my own. I felt a shiver run through my body as I enjoyed the comfort of his lips and his firm hands on my back. I could feel my shoulders sag as I let myself lean into the hardness of his chest. It had been years since I had let myself feel this way in the arms of a man and I believed I would have let it go further if I hadn't heard the sheets rustle. I quickly broke the kiss and pulled back with my head still turned up at him. What the hell was I doing? What was wrong with me? What was I doing kissing Bryan? Especially when my smart and mischievous sons were asleep in the same room. The last thought caused me to jump out of his arms and put some distance between us. He must have had a similar thought because he shifted back too and the hazy look left his eyes. I watched his face as different emotions ran through his eyes. He moved from looking confused to looking torn then finally a sad look crossed his face. The thought made me feel stupid and I moved further away from him and wrapped my arms around myself as he stood there watching me with that sad look in his eyes. He looked like he was about to say something but I beat him to it as I cleared my throat and spoke up.

"Please leave Bryan," I said in a clear and firm voice which didn't reflect how shaken I felt. "Just go away and let it stay that way. I don't want you around my sons and I."

I looked up at him and I could tell my words were hurting him but I didn't care.

"You are their father but you never played that role in anyway in the past eight years. Denzel has been more like a father to them than you have."

I could see the shock in his eyes as I ranted on but I didn't care one bit.

"Besides, I did see you hanging around Emily earlier so feel free to go back to her and enjoy whatever you have with her. Don't let my sons and I be unwelcome distractions." I finished and stared at him with indifference.

"Sarah that's not - " he started with an outstretched arm but I didn't let him complete whatever he had wanted to stay. I needed him to leave and not come back.

"I really don't care Bryan. I don't want to hear it. Just leave." I said then added "Please" in a small voice. He quickly withdrew his outstretched arm and nodded once before heading for the door. I heard the door open but I could still sense his presence in the room.

"I'll leave now Sarah," he said. "But I need you to know that I'm very sorry for what happened eight years ago and I can swear on anything that I did try to find you."

He paused for a while before continuing.

"I gave my all to finding you but it was almost like you didn't want to be found Sarah. It was just like you disappeared from the face of the Earth."

"I don't want to hear any more stories, Bryan-"

"I've found you again and I'm sorry, but I won't be letting you go again," He cut in. "And not just you, but my sons also. I'll leave now but just for tonight Sarah. You might not understand this but it was you then, it was still you when you disappeared and it still is you now that you're back. It's just always been you Sarah. Goodnight."

He turned on his heels without waiting for a response and headed out of the room.

I heard the door shut behind him and for the hundredth time since my return to this city full of haunting memories, I felt my knees grow weak and give way. I fell to the ground and sobbed quietly. I stayed there for a while before I got to my feet and walked out to the little balcony. I could feel the cold air of the night sting my face and eyes but I didn't care. I stood there and thought back to the past years. For a minute it felt like I was transported back to that terrible day when Kyle Harrington had jilted me at the altar of St. Francis Catholic Church. I saw the images that had haunted me for years in my head again. The images of him and Emily's naked bodies and how protective his arms had been around her. I shivered and shook my head then turned around and walked back into the room, deliberately ignoring the dull ache that always accompanied these little "walks down memory lane." Kyle Harrington and my sister had hurt me deeply eight years ago and I wasn't sure I could ever forgive them.

I walked into the room and stared at the calm faces of my beautiful boys and as if they had a mind of their own, my lips turned up into a small smile. I watched the rise and fall of their little chests and I could feel my lips stretch wider as the smile broadened. My life may not have been the most amazing in the last eight years but my triplets had certainly been a constant source of happiness and drive for me, even with their ability to he naughty and exhausting.

I made to lift the sheets and crawl into bed beside them when I noticed my phone lighting up on the top of the little bedside drawer. I didn't need to get closer to know who was calling as I could already tell from the picture that filled my screen. I could see her full curly black hair with her tongue stuck out and her warm brown eyes twisted in a goofy manner. She was still trying to get me to change that image.

"Sarah, you're presenting me wrongly to those hot male models you get to meet. Get rid of it already," she'd say.

I smiled fondly as I stood up straight and turned around the bed to get my phone and pick up Layla's call.

I often told Layla I hated to think of her as my best friend or a huge pillar of support because she was way more than that. Layla Grant had been a constant supportive presence in my life since we had met in college and I could say without a doubt that she knew me better than anyone else on the face of the Earth.

I picked up my phone but didn't accept the call until I was back out on the balcony because it was a video call and Layla could be...well Layla and I didn't want my boys to wake up. I stepped onto the balcony and accepted the call as I leaned over the balustrade.

"Sarah Robinson!" She chuckled and I smiled fondly. After what happened with Bryan just some minutes ago I had felt like I was being swept away on a tide but here was some solid ground for me. "What is this? You go to Los Angeles for just three days and you forget about your best friend? I'm livid with you! Not even a New Year's wish from you or my little chicos." She finished with a slight pout and I smiled at her.

"You know I can't resist that smile, you beautiful little demon," She sighed. "OK, I'm going to shut my eyes so I don't see it and I can stay mad at you."

She shut her eyes firmly and I chuckled.

"Chica, I'm sorry," I said with a smile and I watched her open her eyes and grab her chest.

"Argh! You're too cute. I can't even stay mad at you," she said with a pout.

I blew her a kiss.

"Stop it already" she laughed. "So what mischief have you been up to in Los Angele?" she asked with a tender smile on her face.

"Well Owen went missing at a restaurant and brought Bryan Jones back into my life," I said then let out a small sigh.

"s**t!" She said and sat up with a straight face. "Tell me everything. Should I take the first flight out to Los Angeles tomorrow?"

"No love, it's fine. It's just been-" I paused as I heard the sound of the door and I turned around, immediately alert. Without explaining to Layla I ended the call and headed into the room. Someone was in my hotel room.