ALL MY HEART WANTS IS YOU

CHAPTER 6 - BOSS OR FRIEND

SARAH

I ran into the room as I felt the adrenaline course through my veins. I stopped in my tracks and released a shaky breath when I saw Denzel by the bed arranging the duvet over Oliver's little form. I couldn't tell why but for some reason I couldn't figure out, I began to cry again and a surprised Denzel rushed over to me and held me in his arms.

"Hey. What's wrong?" he asked and I could hear the worry in his voice as he held me firmly to himself.

I said nothing but I just leaned into him and let the sobs rack through me. Conscious of the sleeping boys, he led me out onto the balcony again. He held me closely and stroked my hair calmly until I felt the sobs reduce into whimpers. It was just my third day back in Los Angeles and my hurtful past had not only caught up with me, but it had also made me an emotional mess. At the moment I felt like I was a far cry away from the bad ass lady I took pride in being. I pulled out of Denzel’s arms and walked over to the balustrade and he was soon beside me, watching me in silence with eyes full of worry.

After Layla, Denzel was the next ever available source of support and care in my life. I remembered how he had stubbornly refused to drop me when I had found out I was pregnant and had decided to keep it. He had shut his ears to everyone who had told him to drop me because I’d gain weight and lose shape after delivery. When I had asked him why he was being so stubborn about dropping me he had simply looked at me and said “it doesn’t take just good looks to be a star in this industry, it takes a certain level of determination too and I can see that determination in your eyes. You’re excellent star material and I’ll be damned if I don’t make you exactly that.”

I looked over at him and caught him still watching me with eyes full of worry so I gave him a small smile to put him at ease. However, he didn’t buy it because the worry was still clear in his eyes.

“I’m fine Denzel. I’m sorry I got you worried.” I said. “It’s just, being back here has been pretty overwhelming and then when I heard the sound of the door being opened, I got scared that my babies were in some sort of danger.

I reached out to cover his hand with mine on the balustrade.

“I’m sorry I got you so worried D and I’m grateful for everything. Thank you for never hesitating to stand up for me. You’re priceless to me," I finished and gave him a genuine smile.

He turned his hand over and took my hand in his, then pulled me into another hug.

“It’s fine Sarah and now I feel bad for forcing you to make this trip. We can get on the first available flight back tomorrow if you want. I’ll explain to GLAM and call the whole thing off."

As he ranted on, I couldn't help but smile and for a while I silently contemplated accepting the offer. We could hop on a plane and head back to Italy and normalcy tomorrow and the last three days in Los Angeles would quickly become a part of my hurtful past too, an addition to the list of reasons this annoying city represented nothing but pain and hurt for me. Bryan Jones and Emily would fade away again to some rarely visited place in the farthest part of my head and I would move on with my career with ease because Denzel was capable of calling this whole Los Angeles thing off without me losing the contract. As sweet as these scenarios were, I couldn’t bring myself to jump at the offer and say yes. I didn’t want to cause my parents such hurt again and I wanted my boys to experience the love and affection of their grandparents and the other members of the slightly large Robinson family. Moreover, I realized I was tired of running away from my past. I hadn’t hurt or done anything wrong to Emily, Bryan or Kyle. They had hurt me and they owed me apologies. If anyone should be running it should be them and not me. I wasn't going to play chicken and flee this time. I was going to stay back and face them head on. With that thought, I shook my head and pulled away from Denzel’s embrace then looked up at him.

“No D. It’s fine. We’ll stay. I’m done running away,” I said and I could see the hesitation on his face so I went on “Why should I run away from them when they’re the ones that hurt me? I’m done running. If GLAM wants me here, then so be it. I’m staying and they can go bury their damned heads in a sewer for all I care." He gave me a small smile but he was clearly not fully convinced.

“That’s the spirit my star. You owe them nothing, not even an acknowledgement of their insignificant presence,” he said and I nodded with a grin.

Just then, I felt my phone vibrate in my hand. When I looked down at it, I saw that It was Layla.

Shit! I had been on a call with her. Without thinking about it, I accepted the call. Denzel and Layla were my rock solid support systems so they were quite familiar with each other and Denzel was never fazed or awkward about Layla’s surprisingly unmasked and unfiltered advances towards him.

“Sarah Robinson!” She yelled “You either miss me like crazy and really want me to take the first flight down to Los Angeles tomorrow, in which case I’d be more than happy to oblige, or you really want to annoy me so much so I’ll have no other option than to take a flight to Los Angeles and beat you in which case I’d also be more than happy to oblige."

“I’m sorry Chica. Denzel came in and I got worried about the boys so I ended the call to go check who had walked into the room.” I said and watched her face spread into an evil grin.

“Darling, you had my forgiveness at ‘Denzel came in’” she said and I saw Denzel shake his head with a smile. “The only reason I’m upset now is that he wasn’t coming into me and you know I love you, but I need a view of that walking bundle of H. O. T. so turn the camera, Chica." I laughed softly at her request and turned the camera to Denzel.

“Hi Layla,” Denzel said and waved at her as she blew a whistle in her usual dramatic manner.

"Well hello, you highly favoured descendant of Aphrodite," Layla said and I smiled and shook my head.

"And that's my cue to leave. I may be a mother of three but I have the mind of an innocent little child," I chuckled and I walked towards the door first to ensure the lock was in place. I didn't want a repeat of the scene that had led to my earller fear. I checked the lock and tested it then I went back to the bed and stared at the sleeping faces of my boys. I remembered how devastated I had been when I had first found out I was pregnant. I had felt scared and alone, but looking at them in that moment I felt silly for ever feeling that way because they had become my world and now I couldn't imagine not having them. As I watched them I found myself wishing they had an ever present solid father figure in their lives. Someone who would stand behind me with his arms around my waist and watch them with me in moments like this and an unbidden image of deep blue eyes in a face with chiseled features surrounded by short dark hair floated in my head but I shook it off with a scowl. They didn't need a solid father figure. They had never asked for one and they were doing quite well without one. They had Denzel and Layla and she was fine with their weird little family.