Baby I'm A Sinner

Chapter 4

Jake greeted me as soon as I entered the living room, completely drunk and sloppy, hands all over the place.

“DIANA! DEAN! DANIELLE !”

“Are you drunk?”

“Shhh.” He said and placed a finger over his nose, probably thinking it was his lips.

“They got Mary J.”

“Weed?”

“SH!” he yelled and looked around.

Jesus Christ, he needs to lie down.

“Follow me.”

He led me to the middle of the living room, where two couches were put in a semi circle, a small coffee table in the middle. Jake sat down between Harry and Emma, who were in the process of taking drags from two different hookah hoses.

“Jake, this isn’t weed.” I told him and sat down in the small space between him and Harry. Carly was next to Emma and Sean with Kylie next to Harry. Lucas, Eleanor, Liam, Jade, Zack, Luke and Max were on the couch across from us, sharing another hookah.

“No?” he dumbly asked, taking the hose away from Emma.

“There’s Vodka in the water and weed mixed in the tobacco.” Sean explained.

“Oh.”

Wow, they really had no limits.

“Too much for you huh?”

Everyone turned their heads to look at Noah, who was approaching. He had put his tee back on and his hair was styled into his previous fringe.

He sat down between Eleanor and Liam, right across from me. He then pulled a small metal box out of his back pocket.

“Now that is weed.” Jake slurred when Noah opened it and placed it on the table in the middle.

Noah took out the five small papers and Liam scooted forward to help him roll the joints.

“You ever tried one?” Harry asked me five minutes in, when almost everyone was giggling.

I shook my head. I hated the fact that I was the only one who seemed inexperienced.

“Want to?”

I shrugged and Harry smiled.

“You know what shotgunning is?”

“Yeah it’s exchange of smoke, right?”

“Mhm.”

My heart was beating out of my chest, not because I was about to have an almost-kiss with Harry; but because everyone was watching me and if I did something wrong they’ll laugh at me.

I hated it when people laughed at me.

He gripped into the back of my head and brought our faces close, until our lips almost touched. Then he blew the smoke and I inhaled it, before exhaling it after I pulled away from him. I was proud of myself for not choking or doing anything else embarrassing.

Jake whistled and I rolled my eyes because I wasn’t interested in Harry. I mean, I wouldn’t mind making out with him but nothing more than that. And Harry would never even be attracted to me so that was that.

“Not bad Carter.” Noah said.

“It’s Piper.”

“Same thing.” He laughed and leaned back into the couch.

Fuck you

Not literally

Because you might have aids from so much sex

“I’m gonna go um, refill my drink.” I said and stood up, grabbing a random cup from the floor. It was getting weird and everyone was watching me, probably thinking how the hell Harry would do such a thing with me.

I placed the cup on the counter and turned around, just as Luke entered the kitchen. He was wearing a leather jacket and I wondered how the hell he wasn’t sweating in that.

“You’re Dani, right?”

“Um…yeah?” I said, unsure as to why he was talking to me when he was Luke Black and I was Dani Piper.

“We have English together.”

I nodded, wanting nothing else but to get out of this small talk. I hated small talk.

“How’s the project going?”

Why are you interested

“Um…I haven’t even started.”

“Because of Noah?” he asked smirking.

“Yeah, actually.”

“He won’t do it unless you suck him off or something.” He said and then laughed.

What the fuck

Is everyone here retarded

“I don’t need you to try and get me laid mate.” Noah said as he entered the kitchen with a red cup in hand.

“I’m just making conversation.” Luke said and turned to look at him.

“She probably doesn’t want her first blowjob to choke her to death.”

“Because your d**k is so big or what.” I mumbled.

“You ever given a blowjob before?” Luke bluntly asked and I blushed. I had a boyfriend back in eighth grade, Sam, but that wasn’t anything serious other than a few makeout sessions and maybe some under the shirt action.

“Look at her, she didn’t.” Noah said.

“Good girls are bad girls that haven’t been caught.” Luke wisely said.

Did he just quote 5SOS

Noah snorted, looking me straight in the eye.

“So have you ever given a blowjob or not?”

I shook my head. Yes, I was a senior with no s****l experience, get the f**k over it.

“I can show you.” Noah continued seriously and Luke laughed as he walked out of the kitchen.

“I’m going now.”

“Aw princess did I upset you?” Noah pouted and I honestly wanted to bash his face in.

“You’re such an asshole.” I muttered and watched him as his eyes shamelessly drifted down to my cleavage.

Oh god

He’s staring at my boobs

“Eyes are up here.”

“This top is kind of tight.” He observed and my stomach fell.

“Leave me alone.”

I wanted to cry.

“I don’t mind it, I mean. Shows off your tits.”

I absolutely hated the word t**s. It sounded so…weird. And kind of rude.

“You’re a pervert.”

Was it weird that I kind of felt good about myself because he liked my breasts?

“Dani?” Carly asked, stopping in the doorframe when she saw Noah and I. It might’ve seemed suspicious because he almost had me pushed up against the counter.

“Yeah?”

Noah turned his head to look at her too.

“Um, I came to tell you that Jake is literally about to have s*x with the couch and Emma may or may not be snogging Liam’s face off.”

“Oh dear God.” I breathed and quickly stepped towards her.

“Emma and Liam?” Noah asked confused and then proceeded to follow me.

It was true; Jake was faced down on the couch making some weird s*x noises and Emma was straddling Liam on the other couch as they made out.

Everyone appeared to have once again scrambled around the living room.

“How late is it?” I asked her and she checked her phone quickly.

“Half past midnight.”

“I think I should drive them home. Or at least Jake. Emma is um, occupied. Call a taxi, actually.”

“I’ll help you get Jake.” She smiled.

“C’mon bae, sit up straight.” I muttered to him as we tried to turn him around and get him up from the couch.

“But I’m gay.” He whined.

Noah sat down next to Liam and Emma on the couch (who were now biting each other’s necks), not even bothered by their PDA. He took out a cigarette from his pack and waved someone over.

Soon enough, the same girl who was sucking him off appeared and he patted the place next to him, like she was some kind of dog.

“Okay well um, thanks I guess.” I said to him awkwardly. He seemed seconds away from jumping her on the couch. Jesus.

“You can get home safe?” Carly checked as Jake leaned into me, putting an arm around my shoulder.

“Uh, yeah. I think I’ll take him to his house though. Oh, fuck.”

“What?”

“I don’t have money on me.”

Noah groaned and looked through his pockets with the arm that wasn’t draped around the girls’ shoulder, getting out a fifty pound bill-probably the one I gave him.

“Here you go.”

“I can’t take-“

“You need it more than I do.”

I didn’t even thank him as I grabbed the money. I called a taxi as soon as I was outside and it wasn’t long until a car pulled up in front of me.

After I gave the driver Jake’s address, I let Jake lay down in the car. He opened the window and put his feet out.

“Oh God you’re not wearing shoes.” I said and he shushed me with his finger, giggling. He had a p***s drawn on his leg with a sharpie.

Once we were finally in front of his house, I paid the driver and struggled to get him out of the taxi. It wasn’t that hard to get him into the house after I found his keys into the pocket of his jeans. I dropped him on his couch in the living room before I left the house, hoping no one would rob them until the morning because there was no way I could lock the door behind me.

It was a bit terrifying walking home alone in the darkness because I was afraid of getting raped but then I remembered that I was so fat no one would even think about that.

I’m a horrible person for even thinking that

Everyone can get raped, no matter how they’re dressed or how they look

People are just vile

Luckily, I got home safe and managed to go into my bedroom without anyone talking to me. My parents were already asleep and my brother was probably out too.

After I brushed my teeth and took off my makeup, I went back to my room to change into my pyjamas.

“Fuck.”

I forgot my jacket at Noah’s house

Great job

I would have to talk to him at school on Monday, which wasn’t something I was too excited about.

***

As expected, my ** was full of party pictures the next day, and it went on until Monday.

I found time to approach Noah right after English, when he was getting up from his chair once the bell had rung.

“And don’t forget that this project is due next week and a really important grade this semester. You don’t do it, you fail.” Mr. White reminded us before people started leaving.

“Hi.”

He turned to me, not really saying anything as he walked out of the classroom, so I went on.

“I kind of forgot my jacket at your house on Friday so I was wondering if I could like, come by to get it? Or you could bring it tomorrow at school?”

“I don’t have time to look for your jacket so you can come by today after school.”

“Okay. Thanks. Is it okay if we also work on the project?”

“Do I look like I have time for a stupid project?”

“This might be stupid to you, but I don’t plan on failing a class because you’re lazy and would rather get high than study.”

“You don’t know me.” He said in a low voice, tightening his grip around the handle of his backpack.

“Oh I know what type of guy you are. You think everything is about s*x and getting mortal, but once high school ends, you’ll have none of that because you won’t get into college and people will eventually grow up.”

“How do you even know I’ll be alive then?”

“Why wouldn’t you be? Don’t you like living or something?”

“Live fast, die young.” He said and oh my god, he was actually serious.

“That’s ridiculous.” I said and rolled my eyes.

He shrugged. “I don’t need to explain myself to you princess. Just drop by after school and pick up your jacket. See you.”

Noah adjusted his snapback and I looked down at his football varsity jacket. He kind of looked good in it and I felt like a potato in my own clothes.

I watched him walk away from me and I actually wished to have his long, skinny legs.

“Do you have practice after school today?” I asked Jake at lunch. I wanted to know if I should drop by Noah’s house at three or at five.

“Not today, why?”

“Oh. Well, I’m going by to Noah’s house after school to get my jacket and to maybe study, so I just wanted to know his schedule.”

“Whoa, wait. You’re going over there?” Emma interrupted.

“Yeah.” I answered nonchalantly and Carly shook her head, smiling.

“What?”

“Just keep your legs closed.” Emma advised.

“And don’t come back pregnant.” Jake added.

“Are you serious? You’re the ones to talk! You were humping a couch on Friday and you were trying to get Liam’s tonsils out with your tongue!” I said pointing at them.

“Oh yeah, about that? Whatever happened to going on a date before letting him reach third base?” Jake asked.

“Shut up, we didn’t even get to that.”

“Then what did you do?” I asked, happy that the attention had shifted off of me.

“I blew him, but that’s it.”

“Is he big? I hear him they call him eleven inch.” Jake spoke, completely absorbed in the conversation.

“Ten inch. But pretty close.”

“Why are we talking about Liam’s d**k?” Harry asked as he sat down next to me at the table.

It wasn’t as weird as I expected it to be the first time we’d interact after the party, so I was kind of relieved. We started talking and after Jake asked us what was going on with us we just laughed it off, because there was nothing interesting there.

But I had other things to worry about.

Like the fact that I’d go over to Noah’s house after school and I had no idea what to expect.

Maybe I’m just overthinking things

Nothing will ever happen

Right?

***

School finished quickly that day and I was still nervous about going to Noah’s house, even though literally all I had to do was to get my jacket and maybe work on our project a little bit.

I was just overreacting as usual.

So as soon as the final bell rang to announce the end of the day instead of being happy about it, I had sweaty palms.

I needed to find someone to offer to drive me there, and Noah was completely out of the question because he came to school on his motorcycle.

He has a motorcycle

Jesus Christ

“Hey can you maybe drive me over to Noah’s today?” I asked Jake when I found him in the hallway talking to Emma and Max.

“Oh sorry bae but I promised Max I’d give him a ride home and then I’m on babysitting duty for my annoying sister.”

“Oh okay sure. No problem. Thanks anyway.” I answered and shot him a look that was supposed to be an innuendo. He caught it and nodded, before mouthing ‘later’.

At least one of us was having s*x.

I did not just think of that

Oh my God

I spotted Harry in the parking lot, leaning against his black Audio, arms crossed as he talked to Lucas. They seemed to be having a pretty secretive conversation because as soon as I neared them they stopped talking completely.

“Hi.” I said to no one in particular.

“Hey.”

Harry was the only one to greet me; Lucas just looked me up and down without saying a word. I felt so bad and shitty that he seemed to dislike me because I hated it when people didn’t like it. On one hand, I wanted to be liked, but on the other I agreed with them because there wasn’t really anything to like about me.

“I was um, kind of wondering if you could maybe give me a ride after school?”

“Yeah Harold, could you give her a ride after school?” Lucas asked in a sarcastic tone.

Why are you so rude to me

What did I do to you

Harry blushed and looked away from him.

“I’d love to. But Lucas’ coming with us too because I have to drop him off at work.”

“Oh, where do you work?”

“In a record store outside the mall.”

“I know that one.”

“Yeah. Pay is okay although they need to find someone else to look after the cash register because I’m tired of having to work the aisles too.”

I was surprised by the fact that he actually talked to me nicely. We got into the car after that; Lucas and Harry in the front and I in the back.

I didn’t really talk for the whole ride to Noah’s house because it was too fascinating to listen to them talk about literally everything from school to peeing in the shower.

“Everyone pees in the shower don’t be ridiculous Harold.”

“I’ve never peed in the shower for your information.”

“You know, there are two kinds of people on this planet. People who pee in the shower, and liars. You’re the second one.”

“I never lie.”

“You lie everyday.” Lucas said seriously and Harry gripped harder into the steering wheel.

I didn’t have time to look into it too much because he’d already driven up Noah’s driveway and stopped by the fountain.

“Thanks Harry. Bye Lucas.”

“Bye.” They said at once and I shut the door once I got out of the car.

I watched it drive away and after a few moments on inner pep-talk, I finally walked up to his giant double door. I rang the doorbell and waited approximately three whole minutes until it was opened.

Noah was looking down at me with eyes rimmed red and disheveled hair. He looked like he’d been either crying or smoking pot. I had a gut feeling that it was the second one.

He didn’t bother to invite me in, he just turned away from the door and walked towards the stairs. I ended up closing it and following him.

“I need to um-get my jacket? It’s in-where is it?”

He groaned and turned around, motioning for me to follow him into the room he’d placed the coats on Friday. I immediately found the black hoodie.

“Thanks. I guess.” I said awkwardly. I hated awkward silences with people I had nothing in common with.

“You need anything else?”

“We could maybe work on the project in English for a bit? I know you don’t want to but I really need a good grade because I want to go to Uni and get rid of my parents and-“

“Stop rambling, I get it. We can work in my room.”

“Okay then.” I said in a high-pitched voice, trying to keep cool about the fact that I was about to go in his room. A room that many girls at our school had seen and done not so PG rated things in.

As expected, his room was the one of a typical teenage boy: clothes thrown everywhere (except of the bed), an open pizza carton on the dresser, a paused Xbox football game on the TV and the weird smell of weed. So he’d been smoking pot, not actually crying.

The metal box was on his desk by the window, right next to an open MacBook Air. He was on f******k-of course he was.

“So which is the book again?” he asked and sat down at his desk.

“Uh…just a minute.” I mumbled and quickly fumbled through my backpack, trying to find it.

“Catcher In The Rye.”

He took it out of my hand before opening a new tab and quickly typing the title in the search bar, adding ‘chapter summaries’ after.

“What are you doing?” I asked confused and stepped closer.

“Using the Internet for homework, like any other normal teenager.”

“Yeah but this way you won’t learn anything.”

“Are you serious?” he asked looking up at me.

I shrugged and he rolled his eyes, turning his head back to the screen.

“Here it is. All chapter summaries. We just have to copy paste them on PowerPoint and learn the whole thing. Easy peasy.”

“Lemon squeezy.” I mumbled.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

I’m such a weirdo

I awkwardly stood as he worked on the laptop, so after a few minutes of him copy and pasting, I decided to walk around the room. He didn’t seem to mind; actually, he didn’t even seem to notice.

He had a lot of posters on his wall, most of Sleeping With Sirens, My Chemical Romance and Kate Upton. He seemed to have a thing for…big breasts.

Oh God.

“You like Arctic Monkeys?” I asked when I saw the album lying on his dresser.

“Yeah they’re cool.”

“I like them too. I think they’re coming to Manchester next year in February. But the tickets are only on sale in November.”

“What artist puts tickets on sale three months before the actual concert?” Noah asked, not looking up from the laptop.

“They’re going to sell out anyway so it doesn’t matter.”

Noah hummed in agreement.

Wow we actually had a normal conversation like two normal people

“Okay it’s done.” He announced five minutes later and I frowned, walking over to him.

He pointed at the twenty-eight slides on the screen.

“I don’t think Mr. White will actually believe that we know words like ‘marred’ and ‘preening’.” I said as I quickly read through the first two chapter summaries. “And we need character development too.”

“No we don’t.”

“Yes we do, he told us that today in class.”

“He said it was optional. If a teacher says something is optional you never do it. Unless you have nothing better to do.”

“And what do you have to do? Get high?”

“Maybe.” He answered, not even bothered by my rude remark.

I rolled my eyes and he went through the slides once again before inserting a flash drive into the laptop.

He opened up his Finder after he saved the PowerPoint.

“Is that folder named gay porn?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“Didn’t know you were…into that. Boys, I mean.”

“I like both.”

“Oh.”

“Is that a problem?”

“No, I mean I’m not like a homophobe or anything I have the gayest guy in the world as a friend so.”

He laughed and shook his head.

“So did you like…have s*x with a guy from our school?”

He nodded.

“Who? Wait, you don’t have to tell me-“

“Danielle, it’s okay.” He snorted.

Ew don’t call me Danielle

“I f****d um-“

“So you’re a top.”

Jesus who the f**k asks that

“Do you get off on stuff like this?” he asked and I blushed, asking him to continue. It was a bit weird because he was sitting so he had to look up at me as he talked.

“I f****d Sean is year ten, not Sean Black from year 12, um two other guys from the swim team and Harry.”

“Harry Sampson?”

“Yeah?”

“He’s gay?”

“Duh.” Noah laughed.

“I didn’t-what? I wouldn’t have guessed.”

If I didn’t think something was up with Lucas and him

“Not even his hair is straight.” Noah pointed out and I laughed because he was right about that.

He handed me the flash drive two minutes later.

“Here you go. Learn the first thirteen chapters and I will do the rest.”

“Will we rehearse or something? To make sure it goes well?”

He looked at me questioningly. “You just want excuses to see me besides school don’t you?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I just want a good grade ‘s all.”

“Okay then. We’ll talk some other time. C’mon I’ll walk you to the door to make sure you don’t get lost.”

I rolled my eyes as he stood up.

Rich people

“Wait tell me the address so I can call a taxi.” I asked him when we were finally at the door.

“I’ll call the taxi for you.”

“Okay then. Thanks.”

I opened the door and walked out, not even looking back as I held onto my jacket. I was a bit disappointed about the fact that nothing really happened, but then again, I was only flattering myself.

Noah would never even think of making out with someone like me, he only went for skinny girls…and boys from what I could see. And that only happened in movies anyway.

***

“Are you coming to the game tonight?” was the first thing Jake asked me that morning when he came to pick me up for school.

“Good morning to you too dear friend.” I said sarcastically as I buckled up in the backseat. Emma was already in the back seat because Zack was in the front one and I was a bit offended that they went to Starbucks without me.

“And before you go all victim on me, yes be bought you your Latte.” He said and handed me my cup.

“So what game is tonight?” I asked a minute later when I’d taken a sip and felt better.

“First game of the England Senior League duh!” he said as if it were general knowledge.

“Um…okay? I don’t really think I’m going though.”

“There is no such thing as ‘not going’ Danielle. You’ll be there.”

“But-“

He shot me a look through the rearview mirror and I rolled my eyes before nodding.

“Ugh, fine. I’ll be there. What time?”

“It starts at eight but be there at latest half past seven so you can get good seats in the front. Or the very back. And I already made a Jake is number one sign for you two to hold and pretend that you went to the trouble of making a banner.”

I snorted. “You’re literally your biggest fan.”

“Biggest and only fan.” Emma added and Jake flipped us both off.

We got to school ten minutes before classes started and Jake parked in his usual parking lot. I tried my best not to roll my eyes when I spotted Noah in his usual spot, leaning against his motorcycle as he chatted up some skinny blonde girl with long brown hair.

“Oh my God what is this.” Jake muttered to me as soon as Mr. Flack entered the classroom, wearing only a pair of dark jeans and a button up. “I’m literally going to have an eyegasm.”

“That’s not a thing.” I told him before Mr. Flack started calling attendance.

He rolled his eyes at me.

“So how did it go with Noah yesterday?”

“Nothing happened.”

“Nothing happened? What do you mean-“

“Mr. Macqueen is there anything you’d like to share with the class?” Mr. Flack asked and Jake went silent.

“No Sir.”

“Well then. Please turn to your own desk and leave Ms. Piper alone.”

Jake nodded and did as asked, not forgetting to shoot me a wink though. He had serious problems.

It seems that the whole school would be attending the came tonight, because literally all I heard on the hallways was ‘game tonight’, ‘can’t wait for hot dogs’ and ‘Noah is going to slay’. The last one may or may not have started from Jake.

“I’m starting so it’s a pretty big deal.” Jake praised himself at lunch, stuffing his mouth with salad and bread at the same time.

Who eats salad with bread

“Hey so um, you’re going to the game tonight, right?” Harry asked me.

I nodded. “Yeah. Jake is kind of forcing me to go so.”

“Do you want me to pick you up?”

“Sure.” I said. “Will my cousin also fit in the car? Because my mother will most probably force me to ride with her.”

“Sure. I’m picking up Lucas and Eleanor first. I’ll be by your house at fifteen to seven because Lucas and Eleanor have to warm up.”

“You seem to be really good friends with him.”

“We’ve known each other since we were little.”

“Oh.”

Oh

That explains why they’re so close

They’re probably not even attracted to each other

“Why so interested Dani, hm?” Jake teased and I wanted to bash his face in.

He was so annoying sometimes.